“Andy, today I concluded some messy business. I want it to be a lesson to you. Lawyers can’t be trusted one bit. When I first went to see a law firm about defending myself against Bob, I asked them what the entire process would cost me. They told me there wouldn’t be an entire process. They told me this whole thing would die on preliminary motions. It would go away in three months, six tops, they said. As for the money, they told me it wouldn’t cost much. Their best guess was it would only take ten or twenty grand, thirty tops. Well, here we are, Andy. It’s been a twelve-year fight. It cost me over three million dollars, and I still had to write checks to Bob.
“I know Bob was your father, Andy. I need you to know that I loved him too, but he betrayed me terribly. After all I did for him, the status, the office, the secretaries, the cars. He even got to screw your mother, Andy. She was the best whore I had in the firm. All I ever asked in return was that he love me and become an Orthodox Jew. But he wouldn’t suck me off or even let me suck him off. He refused to compromise. He wasn’t a good friend. Don’t make the same mistake I did. Make sure the people you surround yourself with are honest and honorable, like me. When you grow up, get good treatment before you give a favor. The same goes for lawyers. Make sure they show you up front what they can do before you give those pricks a dime.
“Lawyers are deceitful, Andy. They work together to suck you into their process. They con you into believing it will be quick and dirty and over, but in truth the whole time they are supposedly working with you, they’re actually working with the lawyers on the other side to keep you in the process, to drag it out, to prolong it, to milk it for all they can. The truth is, Andy, no lawyer gives a fuck about his client. That’s just some bullshit public image they try to sell people. Their only concern is where the money is in each case, and then they conspire to carve up the money like a turkey feast.
“Andy, here’s my advice to you. Never sue and never get sued. Always try to make a deal first without lawyers involved at all. That way you and the other party can both save a lot of time and expense. If I’d paid Bob a million or two right off, we’d both have been better off. Instead, he got less and I paid more than what we could have worked out. The five appeals court decisions that the lawyers wasted my money on, I can’t get back. That was three million dollars, Andy. I paid six hundred thousand for each appeal so these idiots could waste my money yammering at each other. I paid thousands just to have these pricks read e-mails they sent to each other. What were the e-mails about? Where’s the best whorehouse? What? I’ll let you look at the bills when you get older, Andy. You won’t believe what I got charged for!
“They charged for research hours! How do you know if they researched for five hundred hours or a half hour? How can you know if they already knew the things they were supposedly researching? They spent hours conferring with opposing counsel, but they don’t say what they talked about. I bet they talked about weather, sports, and the best places to get pussy and then charged me for it. I think all lawyers are Democrats, Andy. They belong to the Trial Lawyers Association, which is a communist organization designed to get everybody to sue everyone else to fuck up the economy and make these cocksuckers rich. They’re all parasites, Andy, just like the lice and the silverfish. They pick the bones clean off the corpses of their litigation victims.
“Make a lawyer give you an audited financial statement before you ever hire one, Andy. If you don’t, you’ll run into a situation where the lawyer is overextended with his bank lines and he’ll just run fees on you like crazy. You can’t trust them, I’m telling you. Pay attention when I give you great advice, Andy. Look at their references, their revenues, and the kinds of cases they worked. Get a list of their last twenty clients and see for yourself if they had a conflict. I’m telling you, Andy, do not trust any of them.
“Someday I’ll get control of the American government, Andy. When I grow our money big enough I’ll do that. I’ll do it for you, Andy. The whole government is for sale, and when I have enough to buy it, the first thing I’m going to do is replace all the lawyers with baboons that throw paper and banana peelings at each other. Things couldn’t be worse than they are now.” David took another sip of whiskey and turned his attention from his protégé back to the glass arena.
“Oh look, Andy! The ants are starting to tear another leg off the spider! Can you hear the spider screaming, Andy?” The pitch in the humming ceased. Now the speakers of the ultrasensitive sound system gave out a strange hissing sound with intermittent spikes or screeches, much like a chalk scratch upon a blackboard. “This is great fun, isn’t it? Just stick with me, Andy. You are the perfect friend I always wanted. We’ll go far together.
“Now understand this, Andy. I enjoy a good fight, so I’d do it all over again. It was worth all that money just to torture Bob. I thought I got him close to suicide a couple of times, but he didn’t do it. So Andy, here’s a case of do as I say but not as I do. Take this lesson to heart and don’t forget it. You’ll be a fine executive someday, Andy. All you need to do is remember all I’ve told you.” David sipped more whiskey.
“Women are the cause of all the problems in the world, Andy. You need to understand this. That Susan woman got to Dad, and her daughter got to Bob and spoiled my chances to make him my lover. Now that damn Indian woman Barbara has gotten to Bob and he’s gone forever. But I’ve got the best of Bob right here in you, Andy. Back in the good old days, women never had the kind of power they have today. Back in good old ancient Greece, every man was a homosexual. That proves a man can become gay if he works at it. The Greeks kept women in their proper place. They just used them for housework and breeding purposes. Then something went horribly wrong with the world and we became the bad guys.
“Women caused that change, Andy. They are dangerous. They lay traps of inducements to draw you in close to them. Once you become vulnerable, they spring their trap. They make you think you love them instead of a man. It all started when they figured out how to make their pussies smell better. A pussy has a natural advantage over a mouth or an asshole, Andy. If you can get past the pussy’s smell it slides smoothly over your shaft. But don’t mistake that good feeling for love. Only we men know what love is. No one deeply loves you the way I do, Andy.
“I did my best to even the score. I wish I could have rescued you from your mother’s womb before I gutted her. You would have been there beside me watching my good deeds. Booboo, one of the goats, had his hoofs on Marty’s body. He was trying to eat her blood-soaked hair and I had to push him away. Then I took revenge for all sons who had mothers who rejected us. I struck a courageous blow against their wretched hateful sex, Andy. I wanted to do it all that afternoon while I looked at it, but I held back and let Marty reveal all her wicked ways. Finally I had the courage to do what I almost succeeded to do to little Betty Trout. I bit Marty’s pussy! I finally did it! And do you know what, Andy? It didn’t taste all that great. I don’t know why some men get so excited about kissing a pussy. I just don’t understand it.
“Just know this, Andy. You can always trust me. I have your best interests at heart. My genius knows how the world works. I also have experience dealing with all sorts of filthy creepy people. With your good looks and youth, Andy, together we’ll build a huge organization. I’ll think the great thoughts. I’ll come up with brilliant ideas. You’ll do the leg work and fly all over the country to carry out my ideas. You’ll meet top salesmen, top businessmen, wealthy movie stars, pension plan executives, you name it. People will love you, Andy. You’ll have the finest suits, the best shoes and cars. People will hang on your every word. We’ll go far together. We’ll conquer the entire world!”
Andy, the fetus in the formaldehyde jar, sat silent and motionless facing the glass gladiator arena. And the ants carried off the second whole leg of the tarantula. Others began to dig the meat out of its abdomen as David continued with Andy’s lesson.
“Oh Andy, look at the ants. I love it when they tear apart a spider. It’s so thrillin
g I can’t help myself. Can you see the agony of the spider, Andy? See how it moves its remaining legs wildly about. It’s helpless to combat the ants eating its flesh. Look how tormented that spider is! Can you hear the constant screams of the spider? Imagine how much pain it’s in! I love that sound, Andy. It’s the sound of dominance. That sound tells me when the spider is going out-of-its-mind crazy with agonizing pain. It’s a beautiful sound. Very few people know the thrill of meting out pain to another animal. I made Bob feel pain, Andy. I couldn’t hurt him physically, but I made his mind suffer, just like the spider suffers now.
“I kept Bob from getting to a jury trial twice. Yes, I did that. The first time I bribed the judge to dismiss the case. I also had a couple witnesses I bribed to make up some lies about Bob in case I needed them at trial. I was going to make him out to be some kind of nut that I had to fire, even though he built the company for me. You always need a backup plan, Andy, or as I prefer to call it, a back door out of the problem. You need to see problems before they crop up, Andy. You need to anticipate what your enemy will do, and you need to be sure you have all your moves in place ahead of time.
“The second time I kept Bob from getting to a jury was when I bribed his lawyer. That was actually pretty easy to do. I, my lawyer, and Bob’s lawyer were all Conservative Jews. All I needed to do was persuade Bob’s lawyer that it was okay to screw his client because Bob wasn’t a real Jew. He was just a Reformed Jew, whatever they are. Imagine the torment Bob felt when his own lawyer sold him up the river! After all those appeals wins, I still screwed him!” David laughed uncontrollably.
“Just like the spider is writhing with the insanity of approaching death he can do nothing about, I’m sure Bob went out of his mind with agony.” David regained his composure and spoke in a low, serious voice to his protégé. “You need to be unmerciful and cruel in combat. We are rich, Andy, and Bob is poor. I used my money to screw him and to win. That’s the beauty of being rich, Andy. We can use our money to bait little people and then screw them later when it suits us. When it comes to a court fight, the guy with the most money, who is intelligent enough to use it properly by bribing the right people at the right time, wins every time.”
David poured a fresh glass of whiskey as he launched into the conclusion of Andy’s lesson. “The legal system is a farce, Andy. It’s a device to make the little people believe there is justice and a way to make things right. But when you understand it like I do, Andy, the legal system is just made up of people, and being morally weak as all humans are, we can bribe the legal system’s judges and the lawyers to get whatever we want. You must see money as a big tool to use in combat, Andy. It’s kind of like hitting a little guy with a big bomb from ten miles above when all he has is a rifle.
“Politicians are another farce, Andy. They are useless whores who do the bidding of the Federal Reserve and the bankers. They are merely accomplished in the same sense that female whores, like Susan and Marty, became accomplished. A great female whore learns that success in business doesn’t come by catering to the whims and jealousies of other women. The whore knows it matters not who goes to whose parties, who gossips about whom, which woman wears what, whether her selfish needs are being bested by her girlfriends’ selfish needs. No, the whore knows that all she needs to do to get ahead is to fuck the right men to get them to do her bidding.
“Politicians are exactly like whores, Andy. You must learn how to harness the politician to benefit the firm. Use them like Dad used Susan and like I used Marty and Bob. Let them do all the fucking of the other guy for you, by passing the right legislation or the right rule-making. Just pay them well enough and they will fuck for you. Unfortunately, their primary client is the Fed and the bankers, and they will always fuck the public and pass laws to squeeze the blood from the public for their masters. But you can still find occasional opportunities for yourself within the bloated government-controlled system they created to screw the little guy. That’s when you bribe them to do favors for you and the firm.
“Just chum them up at a gathering. Tell them you need a private moment to discuss something of great importance to your interest. Slip a thousand or two in their pocket while you’re talking to them. That’s you taking their cue, letting them know that you’re willing to pay to play. They’ll give you an audience. They like untraceable cash, even if they’re rich. That way they can buy a whore and cheat on their wives. They’ll appreciate you, Andy. America is sliding into the sewer. In this environment, you have to think and live like a sewer rat to prosper. Remember that. Just learn to think the way I do, Andy. Together, we’ll go far.”
After another sip, David turned to Andy to give his protégé instructions about how to see the broader world. “Andy, I want you to think of yourself as one of those ants. Just as the ant takes his little bite out of the spider, our business is taking a little bite out of America. See, Andy, we’re no different, no better or worse than a corrupt government official who regulates big banks or commodity markets or anything else, then takes a job with the law firm that represents the clients he regulated.
“America will fall to a fascist or communist dictator, Andy. Things can’t go on the way they are. The country is failing because of that son of a bitch Woodrow Wilson putting in the Fed and the IRS. He stole the country from the people. He fucked over the concepts of our founding fathers, Ben Franklin, Lincoln, Johnnie Carson, Bob Hope, John Wayne, Mel Gibson, Winston Churchill, and Generals Douglas MacArthur and George Patton.
“Watch out for the Bilderbunkers, the Bank for Internal Settlements and the Diablos crowd, Andy. Their days of power are numbered and the world’s banking system will be turned on its head. They sowed the seeds of their own destruction with fractional banking. Their fiat money attempts to suffocate freedom and enslave humanity are ending. You need to be vigilant, Andy. I can’t tell you how their power will end, but likely it will either be the Muslims rallying dissenters to their causes, or the Chinese and the Russians will take them head-on in a war, or the mob will get wise to them and overrun their barricaded meeting places with pitchforks.
“War is coming, Andy. It’s like the old king of the hill game kids play. There are all sorts of elements that are looking to throw the established powers off the hill. I don’t think it will come through the vote. These pricks rig the votes. Votes don’t count anymore. Only honest money can save the country, Andy. With honest money, all the tensions that divide the people will end. It’s so simple to see, but first the people need to take the scales from their eyes. Just never get into a car with Teddy Kennedy, Andy. He’ll drive you off a bridge and drown you, especially if he’s drunk. Also, beware of that woman who wears pastel pantsuits and screams like an angry reptile.
“America is dying the same way as that spider. We just need to bite off our piece of the carcass and gobble up all we can. Buy all the gold and silver you can get your hands on, Andy. We’ve got to be ready. When the end comes, there will be all sorts of destruction. Remember when the Chinese conquered Alexandria and burned that library and replaced all that knowledge with the Little Red Book of Bullshit from Mao? Mao was just a fat nut who liked whores, Andy. Remember when the Nazis took over Cambodia and killed all the Jews? Or when Hitler invaded Tunisia in the Punic Wars and killed all the Carthaginians and the school teachers and burned the books? The Aztecs were the same way, Andy. When they overran France in the First World War, they raped women and cut their heads off. The present tide of socialism-communism has run its course, Andy. Change is coming!” David took another swig of whiskey.
“The Buildyourbunkers and the central bankers they control have gained control of the world, Andy. They meet on the eightieth floor of the Big Stick Tower in Basel, Cuba, or maybe it’s in Portugal or Ireland, one of those communist countries. It doesn’t matter where it is, because they have telephones. Anyway, Andy, what you need to appreciate is these scammers are trying to control the world for their own personal benefit. They want to use fiat money issued by their contro
lled governments through their debt-based banking systems so they can suck off the interest from the world’s labor and goods production. They want to avoid using honest weights and measures as prescribed in the Torah mitzvahs, so they’re doomed to failure. They’re jerking off the world.
“In the end all banks will fail. It’s not a maybe, Andy. It’s a for sure, for sure. The Dodd Frank slime law puts the derivative holders of bad holding company trades first in FDIC liquidation. There’s quadrillions of dollars of banker bets and quant software programs that have no idea what values are. It’s a levitated roll of the dice shit show. The wealth of the world will implode and impoverish everybody who doesn’t get it. People who have assets in brokerage and trust accounts in bank holding companies will lose everything. After the financial crisis of 2008, these clever deviants reorganized themselves into bank holding companies so they could be bank regulated instead of SEC regulated. Now they can reach into client accounts and invoke their hypothecation clauses and steal everything.
“This is a worldwide theft scheme, Andy. It bypasses and circumvents FDIC and SIPIC protections and lets the banks take everything everyone has. The little sticker on the bank window is for confidence purposes only. There’s only one drop-of-piss fiat in the ten-gallon fiat money bucket for every dollar that sticker guarantees. It doesn’t mean shit. There’s nothing behind the sticker. They are set up to steal your money, Andy. Do not trust their shit show.
“And the morons who are bank officers and directors will be screwed along with everyone else, Andy. They can be held personally liable for derivative counterparty losses of the holding companies. So do not be stupid here. Do not go on any bank boards. The bank fraudsters are running scared, Andy. That’s why they passed even more legislation after their slimy Dodd Frank Law. They can go back to the public taxpayer for another bailout like TARP.
When The Butterflies Come Page 45
