Earth Tactics Advance: Volume 1

by Scottie Futch

  The clown placed his hands on his hips then made a huffing sound before looking down at Scott in an exaggerated forward leaning pose. He shook his head and said, “It’s so hard to get bad help these days.” proving that he had at least a little movement left at the end of his turn. However, it was the end of his turn.

  “My condolences,” said Scott, before his foot shot out. Despite Bartleby's surprisingly feeble attempt to dodge, Scott's heel slammed brutally into his crazy clown-junk.

  The clown’s eyes went wide and a ringing sound echoed from it like someone had used a hammer to strike a lever on a carnival game. “Winner!” babbled the clown, before he fell forward atop Scott.

  Scott poked at the clown a few times, but there was no movement. The crazy bastard had been close to death and the kick to his circus balloons had finished him off.

  “No way,” said Scott. He was sure that the dancing bastard must have had internal bleeding or something. He refused to believe anything as insane as the demented killer clown could be killed instantly with a heel smash to the nuts.

  Scott disentangled himself from the clown then turned toward the rapid-fire looters. There were only a few left, and they were apparently too stupid to run away. He finished them off quickly then gathered up his loot. Sadly, most of the equipment that the monsters wore turned to dust upon their death.

  However columns of light rose up all around. He found a silver daemon, one of the firearms, and one of the demented killer’s knives. Bartleby Jr. provided decent if unimpressive loot. There was also a treasure box that held a letter, a bloodstone gem, and ten silver coins. Scott decided to read the letter since he needed to rest for a while. His hit points had dropped substantially in the fight. Bartleby Jr. hit hard. If the clown had not been barking mad, it would have probably been a nearly impossible battle to win.

  Scott's eyes widened slightly as he read what the letter had to say.

  [No Laughing Matter]

  You’ve slain the Demented Killer, Bartleby Jr. He was the strongest bandit on the Southside of town and fifth strongest in town.

  Mama’s organization will suffer for the loss of one of her favorite precious boys. Fewer Raider Scum will spawn for the next seventy-two hours. However, your notoriety among bandits has increased. Mama will show you no mercy. (She probably would not have shown any in the first place, though.)

  Mini-Boss Kill Complete!

  Bonus: Experience Acquisition Up! Profession Progression Up! Level 11 Unlocked.

  [--]

  The letter went on to explain what those bonuses meant. He now had a slight bonus to the acquisition of experience when fighting monsters that were on or above his level. He had also acquired a large amount of professional experience, which basically was a hidden stat that would allow him to acquire new professional skills and other features through the system. The final bonus was something he had not realized would be an issue. Levels were locked! If he had not beaten this boss monster, he would never be allowed to rise above level ten.

  Scott hissed softly as he began to feel his wounds. Bartleby had beaten the hell out of him. A fight against a creature of similar level was ridiculously difficult compared to fighting lower level scrubs.

  “Shit, still only halfway there,” he groused before he staggered off on his way. He still had a long way to go, but he was determined to get there. As he left the scene of battle behind he could not help but think about how the fight had ended. Why had a kick to the nuts ended it? Had the clown simply lost the will to live after Scott had popped his manly balloons? It was a mystery that might never be solved.

  Chapter 11

  Normally the location of terrified screams or enraged battle cries, war zones were not places generally given to the generation of mirthful noises. Yet, laughter pealed across the land. Born from the lungs of a young man who had begun to feel quite invincible, that laughter was so joyous that it seemed the world had become a wonderful party instead of a gore strewn field of death.

  Scott continued to laugh loudly with wild abandon as he gunned down another of the goblin monsters that crossed his path. Such wild joy would have at one time been a sign of mental instability. Now it was a sign that all was right in the world. At least, all was right in a world that had gone to hell.

  “Oh hell yes! Get some you ugly green bastards!” shouted Scott as he unleashed another staccato round of rapid-fire death. The weapon that he liberated from the Raider Scum earlier was garbage as far as its basic damage stats went. However, it provided one incredibly useful special option attached to its magazine. It used phantom rounds. He could exchange stamina for more bullets!

  Scott’s ammunition ran out once more and he used the remainder of his turn to cross the short distance from his current location to proper cover. He ducked behind a car long enough to remove and reinsert the magazine. That was all that it took to reload his weapon. Each time he was granted another twenty-two shots at the cost of twenty-two stamina. It was not unlimited ammunition, but given his movement score, he could simply wait a turn and be able to restore his ammo.

  One of the few remaining goblins leapt atop the car that he had hidden behind and tried to skewer him with its spear. It was far too slow, however, as Scott had finished reloading. The new gun enthusiast allowed the spear strike to deflect off of the side of his armor and immediately countered with a triple-shot from his Loot Master assault rifle.

  The shots that rang out were encased in flame, as Scott had learned that his fire skill could work with firearms. He had yet to test whether he could turn one of the shots into a fireball with his other ability, but the damage had increased by a good bit with each shot, regardless.

  A look of shock appeared on the monster’s face as several fiery bits of led penetrated its fragile body and it fell backwards off of the top of the car. A series of numbers rose up in rapid succession, and it died in a pool of its own blood.

  The battle ended abruptly as the last of the Goblin flash mob was gunned down in a blaze of glory once Scott's turn came around again. More than twenty of the bastards had descended upon his location. From what he could tell, they had been fairly strong. If he had been forced to fight them solely at melee, he would have had a hellish battle on his hands. Thanks to his weak, but useful, automatic rifle he did not need to worry as much.

  Scott looked at the black barrel and the brown wood stock of his weapon. It was simply called a Loot Master MK I. It had no association with firearms from before the change other than the concept design, but it was simple to wield.

  The goblins were agile monsters, but fragile. At least these had been. It took several shots, a full auto-burst usually, to take one of them down quickly but it was simple enough to pray and spray as the concept was called. Scott had spent his time moving from car to car while spraying the area with bullets to keep the goblins at bay. He had killed a few with his Kaiser blade, but most had fallen to his gun fire.

  Originally he had considered guns to be weak with limited usage. The entire system seemed to be based around melee combat. Now he had seen what would happen if someone had a decent firearm for a weapon. The shotgun Craig had used was powerful, but Scott's defense had been too high for it.

  The Loot Master had similar base stats to the shotgun, meaning it was the rough equivalent to a starter weapon, but worked quite well against monsters with low defense. His kaiser blade did a great deal more damage, but with his fire based skill in effect the bullets were capable of dropping weak monsters at a distance with relative ease. The only thing he lacked was a firearm skill that would allow him to gain real competence with the weapon.

  Loot was collected from the bodies of the fallen and he smiled in a slightly feral manner. Goblins did not carry many silver coins, but he had collected dozens of copper ones from the few groups that he had run across in this part of town.

  “Neat, a treasure chest.” Scott opened the chest to see what this one held. He found a handful of copper coins, and a twenty sided die.

  He p
icked up the single die and looked it over carefully. The last time that he had gotten a set of dice, it had been for upgrading stats. He chose to roll it to see what it did since it did not come with a handy explanation letter or message screen.

  The twenty-sided die rolled to a stop on the number twelve. It started to glow with a soft blue light immediately after, and soon a new item appeared in the air above it accompanied by a letter.

  Scott claimed both the item and letter then looked at his new acquisition. At for glance it looked to be some sort of egg shaped crystal encased in spiraling bits of chrome.

  He looked at the crystal then blinked. "What's this then?" Unlike the die, the egg had an information screen.

  [Heart of Steel][Rare Item]

  Utilizing the power of the arcane, you can grant life to the inanimate. This rare item can be used to summon a machine spirit elemental.

  Usage: Pet Item

  Rare Drop Requirements: Pet Collar on Hand | Unlocked Level Status | Roll 12 on a Rare Item Die | ??? | Eligible Bachelor/Bachelorette Status

  Summon: Machine Spirit [Doki-Doki Automaton]

  Power Rating: Below Average

  Defense Rating: Average

  Agility Rating: Above Average

  Speed Rating: Excellent

  Support Rating: Below Average

  Growth Rating: Average

  Usage Requirements: Level 10 | -8 Permanent Mana Reduction

  Value: 170,000

  [--]

  “A pet egg?” asked Scott. After reading the requirements he realized that the die must have been what the system called a rare item die. The mystery of the die had been solved, but it had then morphed into the mystery of the pet egg. How did he use it? Did he even want to use it when it was worth that much money?

  He glanced at the envelope that held his newest letter then smirked. If he had to guess, there would be answers inside. He opened it up to see what it said.

  [Care and Feeding of Pets]

  If you should happen to find a pet treasure card or egg out in the wilds, you can use it to summon a loyal companion! This pet is a permanent addition to your life and is granted existence via direct absorption of your mana.

  A portion of your spiritual power will be permanently used to maintain your connection to your pet. In trade you will also acquire a new friend who will watch your back no matter what might happen.

  However, you will need to treat your pet with loving care or they may feel neglected. If they feel neglected they may run away or even attack you. A pet card or egg can only be used on an appropriate item, creature, or location.

  [--]

  After he read the letter, light flashed from the egg in his hand. A light-green wave of energy radiated outward like a scanning device seen in a video game. Three items in the area began to glow lightly.

  Scott checked the glowing items. A toaster, a busted cellphone, and a wrecked motorcycle were the candidates. A thought crossed his mind and he grinned. He placed the egg against the motorcycle, an older model chopper style. Once he had chosen the base form of his new pet, words arose within his mind. “You who exist in lands beyond. Come now to this world at my call. Come now and inhabit this body of steel!”

  A brilliant light flared from the card. Both it and the bike rose up into the air. Scott hopped back as several other items flew toward it. Various bits and pieces of electronic brick-a-brack flew toward it and disappeared into the light. Nearby a small sidewalk kiosk that offered cellphones and accessories exploded as dozens of mobile devices erupted out of the glass cases and raced through the air to join with the maelstrom of metal and electronics.

  A robotic voice spoke from within the whirling sphere of wind and lightning. “It hears and obeys, Master.”

  The motorcycle and various bits of technology dissolved into motes of light. Soon a new vaguely human form arose within the sphere of lightning and wind.

  The corpses of the fallen goblins began to shake. Those closest to the lightshow were drawn up into the air. They dissolved in the light and the humanoid form took on a more human shape. There was little definition in the creation at the moment, just the hint of physical features.

  “You who are its master. Determine its fate,” said the mass of whirling energy.

  A little holographic screen appeared before Scott that requested that he name his new pet and assign a gender. Everything else regarding its appearance would be determined by the nature of the spirit itself, and the things it had absorbed.

  “I have to choose a gender?” That was a little odd as far as he was concerned.

  Scott thought about it for a moment. This was some seriously interesting shit! His eyes widened as he realized that he might be able to kill several birds with one stone due to this situation. “You know, maybe all these crazy monster chicks will leave me alone if they think I have a girlfriend.” It was pure justification, but it was also something that he could hope would come to pass.

  He chose for his pet to be female, and since she had been formed from a classic American motorcycle he thought to call her the only appropriate name that he could think of at the moment.

  “Understood. She is now known as Harley,” said the humanoid shape. It, or rather she, began to take on a more definitively human form.

  Scott was surprised to see what happened, however. He had expected a sort of adult human-like pet after he had seen what was happening. However, what he received was a disturbingly naked little girl with elf ears and copper-tone skin. She had hot pink hair and bright red eyes.

  He looked away for a moment but looked back again when another flash of light erupted outward. She was now thankfully clothed. The newly minted little girl now wore black combat boots, blue jeans, a white wife-beater style tank top, and a black leather jacket.

  The little girl ran forward then stopped a few feet away from Scott and knelt down. She spoke in a flat, robotic, monotone that held only a small hint of emotion. “Master. Harley has come to serve you.”

  “Uh, thanks... Harley.” Scott was not sure about any of this now. Originally, before the humanoid reformat, he thought that he would get a motorcycle for a pet or something similar. Now shit had just gotten weird.

  “Please give Harley a task. She will do her best to serve you,” said the cute little girl.

  “Sure, tell me about yourself,” said Scott, as he realized the opportunity at hand. This might be a chance to learn something about what was going on recently! He might even be able to find out why the world was the way it was now.

  “Of course, Master. Harley is a Doki-Doki Automaton who has chosen to serve as your guardian and pet,” said Harley.

  Scott waited for further explanation, but it became obvious that no more was coming. “Is that all you know?”

  “Correct.” Her red eyes flashed brightly for a moment.

  “OK, so why are you in the form of a little girl? Can you tell me that?”

  “Harley’s new life has just begun. As she increases her experience and power, Harley will quickly grow into later stages of life. She will continue to do so until she reaches the appearance of adulthood. She will do so while maintaining optimized bio-mechanical features and appropriate visual psychological tactics.”

  “Wait, so when you gain levels, you’ll grow up?” asked Scott, uncertain what the last part of her statement had meant. What were visual psychological tactics?

  “Correct. However, please be advised that Harley is an adult of her species. She has this appearance due to the current situation only,” she said. Her eyes flashed brightly once more and she spoke again before Scott could say anything. “Life forms are approaching.”

  “Damn, is it monsters?” asked Scott. She could detect living things? That was already incredibly useful!

  “Correct. There are sixty-seven goblins closing in on this location. Scans have indicated that the approximate average level of the war party is eight.” explained the girl.

  “Shit!” Level eight goblins would not be easy to take
down even one on one. Sixty-seven of them would be suicide. “We need to go.”

  “Go? Master wishes to leave?” asked Harley.

  “Yes, let’s get out of here.” said Scott.

  “Understood.” She leaned forward and placed her hands on the ground before she moved into a position on all-fours. “Please mount Harley quickly, master.”

  “The hell?” asked Scott. He drew away from the little girl, a look of horror rising up on his face. She had not just asked that!

  His expression changed to surprise when her body shimmered and she took on a robotic appearance. He was further surprised when she revealed that she was more than met the eye and mechanically transformed into a small pink mini-bike. The word Harley was emblazoned on the side in dynamic sparkly gold letters.

  The child-sized bike honked once and then a voice resonated outward from between the handle bars. “Mount Harley quickly and hold on tight Master.”

  The seat barely met his knees, but he hopped on and leaned forward. Harley made a strange moaning noise that disturbed Scott a little, but he let it go. This entire situation was just one more bit of oddness in his life.

  Scott revved the engine. Harley softly murmured, “Master is quite aggressive,” and they were off. The little bike made a sound reminiscent of a weed eater as they slowly raced away from the scene.

  They weaved in and out of the wreckage on the road for over a mile before they pulled to a stop at a gas station on the outskirts of town. The station itself was a burnt out wreck. An eighteen-wheeled transfer truck had plowed into the front of it at some point recently, but the fire could have been caused by any number of things.

  He hopped off of the mini-bike and stretched his legs. He was a little cramped from sitting in that way. Harley did not shift forms. She stayed ready to move out at a moment’s notice.