by John Harding
They had been friends at University and graduated in 2008 as the economy was in the midst of an economic storm. Finding work impossible to come by, they had formed their own pornographic website and were making tens of thousands of pounds making explicit films and performing live sex shows.
What they needed was an agent to help them go to the “next level” and Andre's call couldn't have come at a better time. He spoke to Ruby, who was certainly the brains behind their success, and watched as the aforethought young lady was roughly impaled. The NHBGBC were “on tour” and filming themselves with dozens of randy young men at a time, all from different universities each week; it was a gruelling and uncompromising schedule, but it was making a success of them.
It took an hour after filming for the actresses to be ready to talk to Andre and he waited patiently for the four actresses to appear. Ruby, dressed in tight jeans and a crop top, was first to emerge, followed by “Pippa” - a Scottish brunette in a short, flowery dress. “Shall we go to the coffee shop?”
“Sure,” Andre muttered. “What about the others?”
“We'll chat, and if its positive, then we'll all go to sign.” He nodded, and they crossed the road to the coffee chain on the opposing side of the road. Andre bought the two girls a drink and sat down, looking at them with a smile.
“OK. My uncle – and director of Incredible Talents – has been in artist management for almost thirty five years. In that time, we have represented England international football players, musicians at the peak of the charts and Oscar-nominated actors.”
“Oh … who?”
“Our client list is closely guarded,” Andre replied instantly to snorts of disappointment from the two girls. “But there's been some stellar names on the list,” he lied. “And we have always represented the best interests of our clients.”
“So how many blue movie stars and actresses like us have you managed?” Ruby asked with a dollop of cream stuck to the end of her nose. “I don't recognise your company name at all.”
“None,” Andre admitted after a brief pause. “It is an area we are looking to expand into. We think our contacts can help you.”
“Right, so you want us to sign a contract that gives you a percentage of our earnings, but you have never managed anyone like us before?” Ruby asked aggressively. “Is that right?”
“Well …” Andre hummed. “Not quite. We take eight percent, but this is negotiable, and we would look to make you into a brand.” His eyes met Pippa's and he grinned at them. “We think you have an exciting story to tell – book deals, telly appearances, not to mention merchandise. A Gang Bang Club pencil case, that sort of thing.”
Ruby scoffed. “And who is going to stock our pencil cases?”
“Everyone stocks Playboy. Aren't they the same thing?” Ruby laughed. “I mean I saw twenty guys there today. Fans?”
“Hell yeah,” Pippa replied. “We had to turn away so many applications.”
“They could even do it for free,” Andre joked, and Ruby scowled.
“Why should we let them have their fun for free? We charge five hundred pounds a person.”
Andre gulped. “You mean, you took ten thousand pounds for them turning up.”
“No, we took ten thousand pounds on the website three weeks ago for tickets. It paid for the shoot. We then get paid when we upload it, and people buy it. Plus, we get people coming from porn video sites where we upload one scene to our site. And we sell the DVDs through the website as well as membership.”
“So, they pay to have sex with you. Doesn't that make you a bit of a … well a pimp and prostitute?”
Ruby guffawed with laughter. “Yeah, of course. But everyone's doing it.” Andre looked a little surprised, and she giggled. “Don't tell me Kate didn't take it up the bum to entice William. Hell, I would have taken it every which way to grab a member of the royal family.”
“There's always Harry,” her friend teased.
“I'm not that desperate,” Ruby joked.
Andre gulped and shrugged. He took a sample contract out of his bag and passed it to Ruby. “Read it, if you are interested.”
“Sure. I think if you can get us a book deal to put us in print and in bookstores then we might be interested. You see our fans will buy it and non-fans who buy it will come to our website.” She looked at Pippa who nodded. “And approximately 5.6% of people who come to our website subscribe. Which is twenty-five pounds a month. So if, we can get another 10,000 hits in a month, that's an extra 560 subscribers, which allowing for some people cancelling would probably top 120,000 pounds extra a year. Which will easily pay your fee. Not to mention the advance.”
Andre nodded. “You have this worked out. It's very impressive,” he complimented her, and Ruby cackled.
“Yeah. I should think so. I did Maths.” Ruby and Pippa chatted warmly to Andre, and any reservations he had about the two porn stars disappeared; they were sharp, clever and business-minded, and he knew that their partnership with Incredible Talents could be extremely fruitful.
They left, and Andre picked up the phone to dial his uncle; they had themselves a deal, as long as Uncle Greg could sweet-talk a publisher.
* * * * *
“Where are you going?” Hazel asked her sister. Paige looked up from the mirror and saw the expressionless face looking at her.
“Out,” Paige said with complete brevity.
“I heard you talking on the 'phone,” Hazel muttered. “Said something about a gig.”
Paige smiled. “Yeah, I am singing in a band. You can come and watch if you want.” Hazel shook her head. “Hey, I was going to pubs when I was fifteen.”
“Don't want to,” she replied and looked at her frowning sibling. “Does Mum and Dad know?”
Paige grunted, but her sister clearly knew what she meant. “I don't need to tell them,” she added. “I'm eighteen now.” Hazel's eyes narrowed. “I'd like you to come if you want to see me sing. It's in The Jolly Roger, over in Eden Park.”
“I'm not going to a pub,” Hazel snapped, and her eyes dropped to the floor as Paige looked at her.
“I'd love you to see me, one day.” Hazel pursed her lips as Paige got her coat. “Be good, and don't wait up,” she teased.
“Yeah. And good luck,” Hazel told her as she left.
* * * * *
Paige and Claire nervously approached the venue. They had arranged to meet Jack at the pub as he was bringing the equipment and thought they might struggle to get everything in his car with them as well. “I feel really nervous now,” Paige whispered to Claire, with the borrowed Les Paul guitar in a case over her shoulder. “We spent ages getting our songs perfect. We can't do retakes here.”
“Yeah, but it'll be fine,” Claire responded cavalierly. “It'll be fun.”
“Have you ever sung in front of an audience?”
“No,” Claire replied. “Apart from the karaoke.”
“I have,” Paige admitted. “I was sixteen and at the school talent show. And I just froze. Scared to death after the first note. It was a bloody disaster.”
“Now you mention it,” Claire teased and smiled. “I know, you told me before. But we'll be fine.”
“It felt unnatural,” Paige moaned. “I just locked up.”
“But we did the karaoke competition. And it won't be that big an audience.”
“But that was different,” Paige replied and sighed. “I was naked.”
“You can't be naked tonight,” Claire told her, firmly and Paige looked at her with a grin. “No Paige, you can't. We'll get chucked out. Please, just imagine you're naked but keep your clothes on.”
“OK. Well, I better get my act together.” She stopped and looked into the car park, and they walked across to see Jack waiting by his car. “I've got to get over my problem.”
“Could have got you two in as well,” he told them as he opened his boot. On top of the amp and two speakers was his keyboard and a bag of cables. “If I take the speakers can you take the amp?”
“Sure,” Claire replied and between them the three teenagers carried their equipment into the pub.
“Upstairs,” Terry directed them, and they looked at him. “I always put new bands in the function room. We got a bar up there, and people will go up.” He smiled at them and coughed. “If you are any good that is.”
The faded function room was set up with two rows of ten chairs at the front of the room, as well as two dozen tables with chairs dotted around the room. There was a raised platform at the end which was generously referred to as a “stage.” They noticed a bar at the back that was closed, and Jack sighed as he put the amp on the stage.
He retrieved his keyboard, and the girls tried to help him set up their equipment, but Jack refused any help and then insisted on some sound tests. Claire loved performing guitar solos as the sound echoed around the room. “I guess they call it intimate,” Jack teased and glanced at the clock; it was ten to eight and the first couple of people entered the room.
Jack saw Paige was getting nervous and bought three vodkas from the downstairs bar which Paige drank two of instantly, when he returned. “This is scary,” she moaned. “Proper scary. I'm shaking like a leaf.”
“Paige,” Claire cooed. “Just relax.”
“I am relaxed,” she panted and ran her hands through her hair. “I am relaxed, it's not a problem. I'm fine. Oh hell, hell, hell, hell!”
“Paige, calm down!”
“I am calm. I'm like a leaf in the middle of a river. Sort of calm.”
Claire looked at Jack who asked their anxious bandmate for help adjusting his keyboard, clearly thinking that taking her mind off her forthcoming appearance would help her: while she was distracted she could not fret. “Just don't worry,” Jack whispered. “You've got a great voice,” he complimented her. “It'll be great!”
“Yeah?” Paige asked. “Of course.”
She looked back at the room and had a sharp intake of breath; their audience had grown from five to fifty in just a couple of minutes, and she looked at Claire.
The dark-haired girl took her microphone from the stand and looked at Jack. When she got a smile, she sighed, hit some of the light switches by the side of the stage that plunged the room into semi-darkness, apart from the stage, and walked to the front. “Hiya,” she said and heard her voice be broadcasted to the room, from behind her. “I'm Claire, this is Jack and Paige. And we are the Bare Necessities.” There was a slight cheer from a few members of the assorted audience and Claire smiled. “This is our first gig, so bear with us if a couple of things aren't quite set up right. Hope you enjoy it, we got a mixture of covers and original songs.” She nodded towards Jack, and he started the introduction of I Am Free on the keyboard.
Claire joined in with the guitar and waited for Paige who missed her cue, and they had to restart. There was some grumbling from the audience, and Paige's voice quivered as she hit the first note. She struggled with the chorus and their up-beat pop-rock song sounded flatter as Paige couldn't get herself back in time with her colleagues.
Jack looked up to see her hands shaking, and Claire looked across at him. A voice shouted “rubbish” from the crowd as Paige finished her song, and the red-haired girl looked apologetically at her band mates. “Sorry,” she muttered into the microphone. “But I don't usually sing like this.” Paige shook her head at Claire. “I've got to.”
“Paige, no!” Claire shouted, but Paige was not listening. She kicked off her shoes, slid her jeans to her ankles with her knickers caught in her thumbs, and stepped out of them before discarding her top and bra. The crowd shouted and hollered at the singer with some of the patrons looking shocked and surprised, but she was oblivious to the appalled and astounded looks she was attracting, and threw her clothes to Jack. She beamed broadly; she looked confident and felt confident.
“Can we try that again please? Now that I am properly dressed for singing. I can't sing when I am dressed. I'm a naturist.”
Jack and Claire looked at each other nervously, and they started their backing tracks again. Paige hit the introduction perfectly and injected more energy and authority into her vocals that gave a performance dripping with pizazz and vigour. Several of the audience swayed to the rhythm and Paige smiled, completely oblivious and untroubled by her state of dress in front of such a large audience.
She didn't hit all the notes perfectly, but she didn't expect to; it was a live performance and they were entertaining the crowd. Paige gave a near-flawless rendition of Bad Reputation, Jack's rock song Sweet Love and then her own song, Cotton Tails.
The room, which was a third-full, was soon filling up as their music carried down the stairs, and they saw the figure of Terry in the doorway. He stopped when he saw Paige and gestured towards her, speaking animatedly to his barmaid behind the small bar in the function room.
Paige noticed the shocked landlord and called “Girls” to her bandmates. They played the song that Terry had adored on the CD to perfection, and the appreciative landlord stood at the bar, listening and smiling to Paige as she performed her music with energy and enthusiasm. If he didn't like Paige being naked in his pub, he wasn't going to intervene while she was singing so well, and his bar tills were ringing.
Paige looked up and saw the familiar figure of her sister loitering by the door. “This next song was written when someone I love, very, very much, attempted suicide. And I've never had the opportunity to sing it to her, but I hope she understands what I felt when she hears,” Paige said to the room and wiped her eyes.
Claire sat down as she had no part in the song, and Paige started singing her powerful song, accompanied only by some understated piano notes from Jack, while Hazel stood statuesque staring at her naked sister on the stage.
Chapter X
Hazel listened spellbound as Paige sang “Don't Leave Me” to her rapt audience and, wiped her eyes as her sister's powerful voice hit several difficult notes that filled the room. As the 45 minute mark approached, Paige asked for an interval and the crowd gave the teenagers a deafening round of applause. Hazel worked her way to the stage to talk to her naked sister lapping up the generous appreciation of her audience. “You came!” Paige cried and threw her arms around the apprehensive Hazel.
Hazel nodded and looked behind her. “It's scary on the streets and in here. It's just … so many people.”
“I'll get you a drink,” Paige told her and got down from the stage, only to have to go back and retrieve her purse when she felt for her pockets and found nothing but bare hip.
“I'll go,” Claire offered and returned to the stage with four ice-cold lemonades.
“Why aren't you two naked as well?” Hazel asked, and Paige raised her eyebrows.
“Yeah, the Bare Necessities, is unbare.”
Claire giggled. “Because we aren't as crazy as you.” She saw the figure of Terry wander towards them and braced herself for some awkward questions.
“You know, you guys don't need a naked lead singer,” he told them. “Your music is fine without a gimmick.” Paige snorted.
“It's not a gimmick,” Paige replied sharply. “I'm a naturist. I can't sing with my clothes on. I feel like I'm being forced, and it's not natural and …”
“Well, if it works for you, it works for these guys. Hell, I've not seen this room so packed since they thought Iron Maiden instead of Iron Maidenhead were coming.” He smiled and licked his lips. “Printing Error. Got very nasty. Took us weeks to get the blood out of the wallpaper.”
“Right,” Claire muttered and gave him a giggle. “But you don't care?”
“My till ringing is the only thing I care about,” he joked and looked at Paige. “You know, if you can sort out the singing with anything on, I'd put money on you to be a worldwide star.”
“Could she not be a star without her clothes?” Hazel asked, aggressively, and the landlord turned to face the quiet teenager with crossed arms.
He snorted. “Maybe! What do I know? Oh, and if some lady turns up from the council, I
knew nothing ‘bout this!”
Claire smiled. “Sure.” He coughed and nodded towards Paige. “It's true. It's something we hoped wouldn't be an issue but Paige does everything naked and she just froze so she had to strip to sing.” He glanced towards his bar, and when he saw a sizeable queue, made his apologies.
Paige sat Hazel at the very front, and goaded Claire into removing her clothes. There was a deafening cheer as the curvy girl gave in and stacked her clothes by the side of the stage next to Paige's and the band launched into the rest of their repertoire.
Although Claire put up some resistance she was gleefully smiling at Paige, and the lead singer wondered if there was any vodka in the lemonade she had drunk at the interval.
