by Maggie Ryan
She again gave him a nod but then spoke softly, "A little. I have never been involved with it but I have researched it on-line and in books. I wanted to know what I might be missing. I mean, well, my marriage wasn't any good, not even from the beginning. Everyone else in my family seemed to find their perfect partner, and I didn't understand why I had been such a failure finding mine," she admitted.
Craig bent and placed a kiss on her forehead. "I'd have to say that I believe it was because you were too young to have truly given yourself a chance to explore what's out there. Also, you were too frightened to give up control in your life and yet found yourself struggling with all the responsibility that came with that strict control. Honey, your sister's death hurt you deeply, and you were scared to let anyone get that close to your heart again. Rebecca wouldn't have wanted you to spend your life so unhappy. I understand that you and she were extremely close; that you made sure she was as loved and as happy as she could be while she was with you. Don't you think she would want you to find the same sort of love and happiness?" Her eyes welled with the memory of the sister she had adored and lost. She felt him use the tip of his finger to wipe away a tear and nodded.
"I also think that you were robbed of a great portion of your childhood," Craig continued. "You were too busy taking care of Rebecca, too busy being a perfect daughter, a perfect student, a perfect lawyer and a perfect wife. You never gave yourself time to simply be a little girl, to play, to allow others to share in the burden of responsibility, to tell someone that you needed a simple hug, to sit on a lap and be cuddled, to be tucked into bed with a story and a kiss."
She didn't realize that she was nodding as he spoke, the fear she had felt about being discovered in her secret desires lessening the tiniest bit. Hope bloomed inside her heart that this man might truly understand her fantasies.
Craig hugged her a bit tighter. "Gracie, I'd like to do that for you. I am a man that wants to love one woman with all of my heart. But, what I really have wanted, what I really desire, is to find a woman that is not simply a woman but one that is willing to let herself be the little girl she is deep inside. I have the desire to take care of my own little girl when she needs to be little as well as love my woman when she needs to be big. Can you understand any of what I'm trying to say?" he asked, as he discovered his own heart pounding as he prayed his instincts hadn't led him astray.
Barbara sat up and took several minutes before speaking. "Can I show you something?" she asked. Craig nodded. She scooted off his lap and stood before him. "Will you come with me?" He nodded again and stood, taking her hand. When she bent to pick up the suitcase, he took it from her. She smiled up at him and led him down the hall and into her bedroom, turning on the light.
It was definitely a room meant for a female. Piles of pillows took up half the king-size bed. There was a large overstuffed armchair and ottoman near the window, and a table piled high with books. On the floor was a soft blue rug was that cushioned their feet from the hardwood beneath. A dresser and bookcase took up another wall. He saw tile through a door and knew it led to her bath. Another door probably opened to reveal the closet. The room was neat but felt lived-in, a safe, comfortable place for her to come home. He lifted the suitcase up onto the bed.
She released his hand and walked around the bed, picking up the book that was lying on her bedside table. She hesitated for only a minute before speaking again. "Can we sit in this chair?" she asked. Craig walked towards her and took a seat and was pleased when she climbed back onto his lap. "I think you are talking about this," she said softly, holding out the book. Craig took it and found himself smiling. He knew this book, had read it, and had even discussed it with other couples that enjoyed the lifestyle. He noticed it look well-read, a bookmark placed about two thirds of the way into the pages.
"It's called age-play," she said, as if needing to hear the actual term.
Craig nodded and smiled. "Yes. Is this something you've tried before?" he asked, but she blushed bright red and shook her head. "That's fine, honey. Is it something you want to explore?"
She nodded and then lifted her eyes to his. "Only if you will explore with me," she said softly. "I … I don't … can't explain why, but … but you make me feel safe. You make me feel that I'm not … not weird. I … I've dreamed about this for a long time. I've researched BDSM, but … but even though I know it is what a lot of people enjoy, it doesn't make me feel the same inside. This … age-play … makes my heart beat faster and my … my tummy do flip-flops," she admitted. "It … it is what I fantasize about when I … when I go to bed."
Craig smiled, knowing she quite possibly meant when she pleasured herself in her bed. He noticed that the highly capable lawyer had disappeared as she began speaking. She might have done a great deal of research, but she wasn't capable of making a strong, confident case. He knew it was because in this, she wasn't thinking as a lawyer. She was thinking as the much younger, more fragile, less confident little girl inside. He knew that she might be interested but without any real experience, she was very much a beginner, despite how many books she might have read. He felt an incredible sense of honor, even as the heavy weight of responsibility descended upon his shoulders.
"Thank you," he said, reaching to put the book on top of the stack beside the chair. "I am honored, Gracie, that you trusted me enough to share this with me. Do you want to start exploring tonight, or do you need more time to think about it, since it no longer needs to remain just a fantasy in your head?"
She didn't hesitate for an instant. She was nodding even as she answered. "I want to start now … I mean, if that's okay with you?"
"That is absolutely okay with me. We'll start tonight, and little girl, if at any time you are scared or have questions, you can stop and ask me whatever you need, okay?" Craig assured her.
She nodded and then smiled. "Does this mean you aren't going to spank me?" she asked.
"No, Gracie, you've earned a spanking, and daddies don't ever renege on a promise they make to their little girls," he said in a firmer voice, knowing it was vital that he set their feet on the path he desired them to follow. If she were to embrace her fantasy, to give her dream a chance to become her reality, he had to be in control and not let her flounder. "Now that you know you'll be receiving a spanking either way, do you want to change your mind? Do you want to think about it some more? I will still tuck you into bed after your spanking, but, honey, we don't have to take the first step into age-play until you are ready."
Barbara didn't immediately answer this time. She was a woman used to weighing her decisions, taking time to consider the pros and cons and see which direction her mind led her. However, she didn't need to analyze this any further, not if she were honest with herself. She'd done the research. She'd read more than just this one book. She was an intelligent woman, and her heart was telling her to let go of her head and just let herself be free.
"I still want to start tonight, please," she answered. Craig smiled and lifted her off his lap after giving her a hug. He moved her back to where the suitcase lay on the bed, unzipped it, and laid it open. "I want you to unpack before we start."
She looked at him for a moment then nodded, slowly walked to the suitcase and began to remove folded clothing. This wasn't exactly the start she had envisioned but realized it gave her time to settle her nerves by doing a routine chore.
"Most of this goes to the wash," she said, as if she needed to explain what her suitcase contained. He simply leaned against the open doorframe, almost filling it, the top of his head only a couple of inches from brushing against the top. He looked relaxed and comfortable, as if perfectly willing to simply wait and give her all the time she needed. She felt herself flush a bit as she opened the dresser drawer and returned unworn lingerie.
Craig noticed that her underwear all appeared to be plain white cotton, nothing like the lacy, brightly-colored hues of matching panty-and-bra sets that he knew a lot of women favored. She opened the closet, put her shoes and sandals
away, and hung a couple of pairs of dress pants, a blouse, and a sweater onto hangars. The rest of the clothing went into a hamper on the inside of the closet. She pulled a toiletry case from the suitcase to take into the bathroom and returned to zip the suitcase closed.
"Where does this go?" he asked, stepping forward to pick up the suitcase. She told him, and he stepped into her closet and replaced it on a shelf at the back of her closet. When he stepped out, he flipped off the closet light and closed the door. "Good girl. Now you won't have to worry about unpacking. Go ahead and get ready for bed," he instructed.
"Bed?" she asked, as if confused and unsure she had heard him correctly. When he smiled and nodded, her eyes darted to the bed and then back to him. "Why so early? Um, I usually don't go to bed until after midnight; I'm sort of a night-owl."
"Firstly, because I told you to do so, and you'll learn that it's a good idea to do as I say. Secondly, Bunny, because after I've spanked your bottom, I am going to tuck you into bed so you can get some rest." Her eyes were locked onto his, her face flushing at his explanation and her stomach tingling at the tone in his voice.
Her eyes dropped to where his hand hung relaxed at his side, thinking how it would feel striking her bottom. She blushed hotter and looked at the bed, picturing being tucked in, her bottom tender from his spanking, the covers being tucked in around her like a small child. She felt her heart pound but slowly nodded.
"Um, okay," she said, and then moved to her dresser, opened a drawer and pulled out a gown, opening another drawer and quickly choosing a pair of panties. She gave a small gasp when she looked up to see him standing so close.
"Do you have another pair of pajamas?" he asked. She found herself nodding. "I'd like you to wear them if you don't mind," he said softly. She nodded again, returned the gown to the drawer, and pulled out a pair of pink flannel pajamas.
Seeing his smile, she felt her insides quiver and her blood racing. "I'll … I'll be right back," she stammered, and hurried into the bathroom. She leaned against the closed door for a moment, attempting to catch her breath and assimilate what was happening. She had actually asked for a spanking and knew that the man standing in her bedroom, the one waiting to see her wearing her pink pajamas, was going to give her exactly what she had asked for. She felt a moment's urge to call one of the girls to ask for advice—heck, maybe a conference call was needed. Was this how they had felt when they first began to explore lifestyles that were outside the norm? Did their stomachs flip and their hearts pound when they knew they were about to be disciplined? She certainly didn't feel like a respected attorney right now; she felt like a much younger girl being told to go prepare herself because she had been naughty and her daddy was going to spank her. Her heart almost stopped when she realized the way she had just thought about Craig. She hadn't thought of him as a lover or even a Dominant; no, her gut instinct had been to think of him as a daddy. She was positive she'd never be able to discuss that instinct with any of the other girls.
Despite her feeling of astonishment, she found herself smiling as she stripped off her shorts and blouse, peeled off her panties, and unhooked her bra. She had a moment of hesitation as she wondered if she should shower first. She quickly stepped into the shower and turned it on. She would have showered if he weren't here, so she figured she was just obeying his command to get ready for bed. She was quick though, not wanting to step out of the bathroom to find him gone before he could spank her. That thought caused her to break into giggles that she tried to stifle by pressing her fists against her mouth. God, who would ever have believed she was giggling over the thought of getting a spanking! She quickly toweled off and dried her hair, brushed her teeth, and then put on her panties and pajamas. Carrying her dirty clothes, she stepped out of the bathroom.
Chapter 11
Craig was sitting in the chair, reading one of the books from the table. She tried to remember what she had been reading and then turned crimson, thinking it probably didn't matter. He probably knew far more about any of the subjects than she did from reading those books. As she walked to the closet to put her dirty clothes in the hamper, she saw him close the book and replace it on the stack. She relaxed, seeing it was the same book she had shown him earlier. She had originally started researching BDSM and domestic discipline in an attempt to discover if she were solely to blame for the divorce and the fact that she and David had never had a good sex life. She had also been curious to discover more about the lifestyle, as it seemed she was the only Dietrich that didn't fully embrace it. She had told Craig the truth: reading those books didn't seem to do more than titillate her as she imagined others participating in some of the scenarios she'd read about. However, when she finally was brave enough to order her first book on age-play over the Internet, she had read it through from start to finish and discovered that her nipples were hard and her panties wet way before she closed the book. That book had led to another—and another—until she understood that, while BDSM didn't seem to be her kink, this thing called age-play wouldn't leave her head. Though she had read enough to understand that she wasn't alone in her secret cravings, she had never been brave enough to discuss her fantasy with anyone.
Craig didn't say a word about the book he had been flipping through. He was enchanted at the sight she made standing next to her bed, her hair clean and soft, falling in waves around her shoulders and down her back. The pink PJ's were simple and yet looked perfect on her, her bare feet peeking beneath the hem.
"Did you tinkle?" he asked quietly, and she almost jumped at the sound of his voice in the quiet of the room.
"What?" she gasped, knowing he couldn't possibly have said what she thought she had heard.
"When you were in the potty, did you tinkle? I didn't hear the toilet flush and don't want you to have an accident during your spanking, little girl. Also, once I tuck you into bed and kiss you goodnight, you are not allowed to get out of bed until the morning. So did you tinkle already?" His voice remained calm and smooth, as if explaining to a very young child. While Barbara was a bit shocked at the question about something so private, she found herself shaking her head. "No? Well, don't you think it would be a good thing to at least try?"
She nodded and went back into the bathroom, shutting the door and pulling down her clothing to sit on the toilet. She was positive she'd be unable to go … to 'tinkle', but needed a moment to rethink this entire process. This was more than she had ever imagined. He hadn't sounded amused or acted like it was an unusual request. He had sounded calm and simply concerned about her comfort during her spanking. She shuddered thinking of how he said she might have an accident during her spanking and wondered for the first time exactly how hard he intended to spank her. Moaning softly, again picturing his huge hand slapping onto her bare ass, she felt her bladder release. She blushed, praying he couldn't hear her, but when she was done and flushed the toilet, she knew he'd know that she had tinkled just as he requested. It was such an infantile word, but her nipples were rock hard and her sex had been very slick as she wiped herself. Washing her hands, she took the time to take several deep breaths, wondering if she were going out of her mind. Perhaps she had a delayed case of heatstroke, after all. She almost giggled again and then forced herself to get herself under control.
Stepping back into the bedroom, Craig rose from the chair and beckoned to her. She went to him, expecting to be bent over the bed and have her butt blistered. Instead, he pulled her close and bent to kiss the top of her head. "That's my good girl," he said, picking her up and sitting down again, cradling her on his lap. Barbara buried her face against his neck, suddenly too embarrassed to even look at him. Craig remained quiet, his hand gently stroking up and down her back until he felt her relax.
"I know this is new to you, sweetie. I am so pleased that you trust me. I promise I will never hurt you," he said softly. He felt her raise her head and chuckled slightly. "Yes, I will spank you, and yes, it will hurt, but it won't harm you. I will never, ever harm you. Do you understand the di
fference between hurt and harm?" She didn't answer immediately but nodded her head. Craig knew she was finding it difficult to speak, knew she was embarrassed at being told to go to the potty and tinkle before her spanking. He also knew the firm but gently-spoken request, the explanation why she needed to obey him, and the juvenile terms were helping to put her into the mindset she secretly craved to explore.
"That's my good girl," he praised as if she'd answered verbally. He bent to kiss her cheek before continuing, "When I need to spank you, I promise to always hold you. We will talk about why you are going to be punished and what you can do to avoid a spanking in the future. After we talk, you'll stand in the corner for at least ten minutes so that you have time to do some thinking about what caused you to misbehave and earn having your little bottom spanked. You are not to talk or turn around once you are sent to your naughty corner. After I feel you've had enough time to consider your naughty behavior, I will administer your spanking. Most of the time, I will spank you with you lying over my lap. I will always start with my hand, but most every spanking will include a round with a hairbrush or a paddle. Do you have an old-fashioned wooden-back hairbrush and a wooden paddle?" She instantly shook her head against his neck, still not speaking but he heard her breathing rate increase and was able to feel her slight quiver as he continued to stroke her.
"That's okay. We'll do some shopping and I'll get what you need, so that you'll have your implements ready the next time I have to spank your bottom, okay?" he asked, and was thrilled to feel her slight nod and hear a soft moan against his neck. "If you have been naughty enough to have earned a harsher spanking, I may bend you over the bed or put you over a pile of pillows. If that is the case, it will only be done after a hand spanking over my lap. If I bend you over anything else, little girl, it will be because you have earned either a whipping with my belt or a strap or a switching, and I will need to properly warm your bottom with my hand before I use any of those implements. I will only use a cane on the rare occasion when you have either repeated an offense several times or have done something that seriously put your health, your life, or our relationship in danger." He paused to give her time to consider what he had just said. He didn't want to scare her, but he had every intention of letting her know how seriously he took discipline when it was required.
