The thing was, it didn’t always seem worth it to spend a bunch of time primping when she’d sweat her makeup off working out in the yard, or on the ranch. This summer she wasn’t doing as much as she normally did, though—doctor’s orders.
She fixed dinner for the boys so they’d have something to eat when they got home, then grabbed her purse and sat on the sofa to look out the window. She felt as impatient as a child on Christmas Eve, but it had been a long time since she’d done anything that involved leaving the ranch except for grocery shopping or an appointment with her obstetrician.
When Tim pulled up in his truck, she jumped up from the couch. Actually, laboriously hoisted herself out of the deep couch cushions was more accurate. By the time she was at the door, so was Tim.
“Hey! You look gorgeous. I’m so excited to take my hot wife out on a date tonight,” Tim said as she strode through the door. He planted a warm kiss on her cheek and started to unbutton his shirt.
“I’m ready when you are,” Susan said, trying not to be super obvious about the fact that she was studying the skin he was revealing button by button.
“I’ll be so fast. I’m going to take a quick shower, change, and then we’ll be on our way,” Tim promised. “Where did you say we were eating?” he asked as he walked toward the bathroom, still working on his buttons.
“I didn’t! It’s a surprise!” Susan felt giddy with anticipation. She was looking forward to treating Tim to a special meal. He was always making her the most wonderful dishes, and cooking wasn’t one of her favorite things to do, so she rarely reciprocated the gesture. If she did make dinner it was usually a pretty basic staple, like spaghetti. She did make really good tacos, though.
“Do I need to dress up?” Tim yelled over the sound of the shower water.
Susan was standing in the doorway to the bathroom. They still hadn’t made love, but Tim had been sleeping in the same bed as her since he’d moved in, and they’d gotten a little better acquainted.
Susan shrugged. “I mean, probably just business casual. Nice, but not fancy. Just try to match my level of dressiness.”
Tim stuck his head out from behind the curtain and studied her for a moment, water dripping down his smiling face. “Gotcha.”
Susan decided to reclaim her post on the couch to wait for Tim, and a few minutes later he emerged from their bedroom in a polo and slacks. It was a look Susan hadn’t seen on him before, and the closer-fitting clothes on him gave her butterflies.
He was definitely a well-built man, even at fifty. She’d always noticed how well he fit into his Wranglers, but his shirts were loose-fitting and he’d been sleeping in a big T-shirt and gym shorts—probably for her comfort. For some reason, Susan felt like she was really seeing him for the first time. Maybe she wasn’t so distracted by her own thoughts and feelings that she just finally noticed.
“Ready?” he asked, grabbing his nice hat off of the coatrack by the door.
Susan once again hoisted herself up off the couch. “Yep. I’m coming. Slowly, but I’m coming.”
Tim chuckled. “You can move at whatever speed you want when you look as good as you do.”
“Ugh. Don’t even say that. I feel awful. I don’t remember being this stiff and sore during my other pregnancies. I’m not sure if it’s just because I’m getting older, or what, but all the symptoms I got away without experiencing in my first two have hit me hard this time. Like that horrible nausea that lasted until I was twenty-two weeks. I thought it would never end!” Susan exclaimed.
Tim opened the passenger door of his truck and helped her climb inside. “Maybe this time it’s a girl?”
Susan waited for him to walk around and open the driver’s door before challenging his statement. “Why do you think that means it’s a girl?”
“Well, my sister had three boys and was never sick, then she got pregnant with a girl and was so sick she could barely eat for the first three months of her pregnancy. She was actually hospitalized because she couldn’t stay hydrated.” Tim shrugged. “I’m not saying the baby is for sure a girl, I’ve just heard of that happening.”
Susan sat back. Could the baby inside of her really be a little girl? She wouldn’t even know what to do with a little girl. Her whole life had revolved around her boys for so long, and she’d never been in a foster home with another girl who was close to her age for long enough to experience any sort of bond. Having a daughter would be so foreign to her.
“Either way, you’re a great mother. No need to stress now that we’ve got your business back under control. Plus, I’ll be here to help during the newborn stage. I’ll take care of the boys and cook dinner, whatever you need.” Tim said.
Susan was touched. “Where’d you learn to be so thoughtful? And how is it that you’ve never been married before?”
Tim rolled his eyes. “You should just be thankful no one snatched me up before I decided to come be your knight in shining armor.”
Susan laughed. “Oh, is that what you are? Trust me. If I hadn’t been bedridden and puking my guts out, things would be different.”
“I’m just teasing,” Tim said. “One of the things I love about you is how capable you are. There is nothing that intimidates you, but you intimidate the hell out of me.”
Susan looked out the window. “Oh, trust me. There are plenty of things that intimidate me.” Like the fact that you just said you loved me—even if it was in a round-about way, she thought.
* * *
Susan felt like she’d just hit the jackpot when she saw how happy Tim was with her restaurant of choice. It was just a steakhouse, but it was locally owned with beef from nearby ranches. Their steaks were cooked to perfection, and all the sides they ordered were delicious, too. Susan was hoping they’d be able to figure out a contract with the owners sometime in the near future.
After all Tim had done for her and the boys, he deserved to feel appreciated, and she was glad he was enjoying himself. He’d told her about twenty times how great everything was, and how perfect of a place she’d chosen, but all Susan could think about was his admission that he loved her, or loved something specific about her. Wasn’t that basically the same thing?
“What time does the show start?” Tim asked as they walked out of the restaurant.
“In ten minutes, but it’s just a couple of blocks up. We should have plenty of time.” Susan was glad they were walking. She hadn’t eaten her whole plate, but with baby taking up so much space, she felt like she was so full she was going to burst. She hoped the walk would help her food settle before they sat down for the next couple of hours.
“It’s been nice being out with you tonight. I finally feel like we’re really married. This is the first time anyone has seen us together, besides the guys or your boys. I feel like we’ve been hiding since the wedding.” Tim opened the doors to the playhouse for her, and they both stepped inside.
“It is nice,” she agreed. Susan hadn’t really thought about the importance of being seen together, but she could see how that would make everything seem more real. She pulled out their tickets and handed them to the usher.
“Walk down the aisle to my left,” the woman at the door instructed. “You’re in the third row on the right. Seats four and five.”
Tim nodded, then put his arm out for Susan, and once they made it to the third row he steadied her as she pushed her way past the three people who were seated between their seats and the aisle.
“I should have made sure we had aisle seats,” Susan said. “I’m probably going to have to run to go pee at least once during this show.”
“Well, then, these people will have to kindly let you pass,” he said.
“As if,” Susan replied. “They were just so nice about us coming in after them and the show hasn’t even begun.”
Tim shook his head. “Who cares? It doesn’t matter what they think. You’re carrying a child. You have needs. That’s not a crime.”
“You have no idea what it’s like to be pregnant and
feel like a giant spectacle. I already feel like a beached whale. Like everyone is staring at me wondering what I’m doing out of my designated habitat. Then to inconvenience people by having to squeeze by them when I can’t really squeeze anything anymore. It’s kind of embarrassing.”
“You’re really overthinking this,” Tim whispered.
The show hadn’t started, but the lights had flicked off, and for some reason, when it was dark it automatically made people want to speak in whispers. At least for Susan, and apparently Tim.
* * *
“I really have to pee,” Susan whispered to Tim about halfway through the show. There was an intermission, but it was still quite a ways away according to the program.
Tim laughed softly. “Of course, you do.” He was teasing her, but judging by the glare she gave him, she didn’t appreciate the humor.
“Just go. It’s fine. You’re never going to see these people again. Besides, it’s not like you’re doing it on purpose,” he said.
Shh!
Tim looked over at the grumpy old lady sitting on the other side of Susan. Had she just made that noise? Did she really just shush him like a child? He was a grown man trying to take care of his pregnant wife. If that lady had really just shushed him, he wasn’t sure what he could believe about members of society anymore.
Susan looked over at Tim with her eyes bulging out. “See!” she hissed.
Tim clenched his jaw. That woman was out of line, but Tim didn’t want Susan to back down. He actually couldn’t believe she was letting the lady’s behavior bother her so much. Usually Susan did what she needed to do with no apologies. It was weird that she was concerned about this at all.
Just go, Tim mouthed.
Susan took a deep breath, then stood up. “Excuse me,” she whispered as she shimmed past the three people at the end of their row.
“Sorry, pardon me,” she said until she was out in the aisle. She turned around and glanced at Tim before walking back up the aisle to get to the bathroom.
Tim turned his attention back to the show after she’d gone, and there it stayed until he heard someone whispering again a few minutes later.
“Sorry again. Can I just...sneak…past you?”
As Tim watched Susan come back to her seat, it was clear the three people on the end were annoyed with her. It was done now, though, and hopefully Susan wouldn’t have to do that again while they were there.
* * *
Susan shifted around in her seat. She thought for sure after she’d gone to the restroom she would be fine until the intermission, but she desperately needed to go again. She’d been so thirsty lately so she’d guzzled down several bottles of water that day. It must’ve been catching up to her now. She tried to focus on the show, but she knew if she didn’t get up soon she was going to regret it.
Even if the intermission was about to start, she needed to get to the bathroom first and beat the lines. She knew herself, and there was no way she could hold it at this point. She was annoyed that she needed to go again, because the people at the end of their row had been incredibly rude the first time around, and she didn’t want to have to disrupt their view again, but she had to.
She looked over at Tim, and his eyes got big.
“Again?” he whispered.
Susan pressed her lips together and nodded.
Tim shook his head, but there was an impish smile on his face. Susan had a feeling he was getting a kick out of her ticking off the older patrons. The grouchy old lady had either never been pregnant, or was so old she’d forgotten what it was like, because she was the meanest of them all.
Susan put her hands on the back of the chair in front of her, and reluctantly pulled herself up out of her seat. At least if she was in the bathroom during intermission she could avoid any snide comments. She started to shuffle past the knees of her neighbors, trying not to step on anyone’s feet, when she lost her balance and felt herself falling forward.
She was not about to fall on top of the people who were already so annoyed with her, but in trying to avoid them, it made it harder for her to find her balance, and she came crashing down to the floor, her torso in the aisle and her legs still tangled up with the woman’s who sat on the end of the row.
“Oh, my goodness!” a woman across the aisle exclaimed when she saw Susan fall. “Are you okay, honey?”
The question immediately brought tears to Susan’s eyes. Why was it that being asked if she was okay always made her cry? She wasn’t sure, but it was true. Unfortunately, this all happened right as the show was breaking for intermission. The lights came on and everyone started standing up, and there she was lying on the floor—a blubbering mess.
Tim was already making his way toward her, but it only made her feel like more of a spectacle to have him hovering over her. Which only made her cry harder.
“Susan, are you okay?” Tim’s voice was drenched with worry.
She honestly wasn’t sure, though. She felt fine besides her knee and elbow throbbing
from the impact, but maybe she had too much adrenaline to notice if she wasn’t.
“I think so,” she said as Tim reached out and grabbed her hands, slowly helping her to her feet.
“Do you think we should go to the hospital so they can check on the baby?” Tim asked.
Susan’s heart sank. She felt awful that she hadn’t even thought about that. Everything had happened so fast she hadn’t even had time to wonder if the baby had been affected, and she started crying so hard her whole body was shaking. She felt completely out of control of her emotions at this point. She was hormonal, embarrassed, and a little hurt too. And the fact that she hadn’t thought to consider her unborn child devastated her. She was an awful mother.
“We better,” she said through her sobs.
* * *
“And there’s the heartbeat right there,” the ER doctor said, pointing to the screen.
Tim had been trying to hide his worry so he wouldn’t upset Susan, but when he saw that wiggly baby inside of her womb, he breathed a sigh of relief. He looked down at his wife and saw that she was wiping tears from her cheeks.
“I’m so glad the baby’s okay,” she said.
The doctor nodded. “Everything looks completely normal, so I wouldn’t worry. Go home and get some rest. That being said, if you develop any new symptoms such as abdominal cramping, bleeding, spotting, or any abnormal pain, you should come back.”
Susan nodded. “Of course.”
The doctor stood up and walked over to the counter, grabbing a towel for Susan to use to wipe the ultrasound goop off of her belly.
“Thank you,” Tim said to the doctor after he handed the towel to Susan and turned to leave.
The doctor paused at the door and looked from Susan to Tim, then back to Susan. “I’m just always relieved to see things are okay when a pregnant woman experiences a fall. Be aware that in some cases, falls can cause preterm labor. If you experience any contractions you need to come back right away.”
“I’ll keep a close eye on her,” Tim said.
The doctor nodded. “Good. I know you’re both excited to welcome your new addition, but it’s best if the baby gets all the time he or she needs to develop.”
Susan looked up at Tim, her eyes still glassy from the tears she’d cried. “We understand.”
After the doctor left, Tim leaned over Susan and kissed her lips lightly. “How are you, babe?”
Her bottom lip quivered, but no new tears sprang up. “I’m all right. I was really scared as we walked to the room. I kept wondering how I would handle it if the doctor told us something was wrong. If something I did had hurt this little life, I don’t know how I could ever forgive myself, but I’m glad I don’t have to worry anymore.”
“Me too. I’m just relieved everything’s fine,” Tim said as he stroked Susan’s cheek.
Susan put her hand over his, and closed her eyes. “Thank you for thinking to bring me in, and for being here with me.”
When
Susan opened her eyes, Tim grabbed her hands and pulled her up so she was sitting on the exam table. Then he held her face in his hands and stared into her eyes. “You know, you don’t have to carry all of this on your own anymore. Lean on me. You don’t have to be strong all the time. I know you’re tough. I know you can take care of yourself, but you don’t have to. I’ve got you now.”
Susan nodded. “Okay.”
Tim wrapped his arms around her shoulders and held her head against his chest. He’d never felt closer to her, or loved her more than he did in that moment. For the rest of his life he would love and cherish this baby like it was his very own.
Nine
August rushed by in a blur. Adin’s football league had games twice a week, then Cody started practicing for the Junior Varsity team at the high school, and by the last week of the month, both boys were back in school full time. Now they were already into the second week of September, and there were less than three weeks left until Susan’s due date.
“Do you miss the boys as much as I do?” Tim asked Susan over lunch one day.
“Am I a horrible mother if I say probably not?”
Tim laughed. “No. They definitely need more of your attention than mine. I just miss having them around every day. They made work fun.”
Susan nodded. “I do miss them. Every year I go through the same cycle. For the first week of school I’m relieved they had to go back, but then slowly I start to wish they were around more. That lasts for a couple of months, and by the time they are off for Christmas break I’m so happy to have them home again. Of course, after all the fighting over toys post-Christmas, I’m eager to send them back. Then the cycle begins again until spring break.”
Besotted in Branson: An At the Altar Story Page 8
