Sam opened the door looking haggard and pale. He wore sweats and a ratty old T-shirt. His hair hadn’t been combed in a while. “Andrea, I said you didn’t have to come over.”
“And you thought I’d listen? Sam Marcus, you’d better let me in or I’ll roll right over you.” Yes, it might seem absurd for a woman barely five feet tall to talk tough like that to a six-foot-tall guy, but right now she believed with all her might that she was capable of taking him down if he gave her any grief.
He didn’t crack a smile but he stepped aside, letting her enter. “Dani’s taking a nap.” At first Sam avoided her eyes, but then those tired blues connected with hers and held on. There was so much pain there it made her ache inside. “Look, Dani and I will work through this together, just like we did the last time.”
“How can you look me in the face and say that? Don’t I mean anything to you?”
“Of course you do, but things have changed since the other night.”
“You mean life got tougher, so you shut out the people you need most?” She’d play hardball if she had to. But, honestly, why hadn’t his first phone call been to her?
“Didn’t you kick me out of your house the other night?”
“I did, because you were being a bonehead. You asked me to move in—gee, how romantic. And you still don’t think you need me. Or anyone, for that matter. You won’t let yourself need anyone. But over the last couple of days I’ve done nothing but think about you and us and our situation.
“Now, are you going to let me sit down and get me some water or do I have to do that myself?”
She wasn’t sure where this wild warrior woman had come from, but right now Sam needed someone to tell him what to do, and she was more than happy to do it. She trudged on into the living room and sat down. He brought her a glass of water, and one for himself, and she couldn’t help but notice his hand trembled when he set the glass down. Her heart grieved for him in that moment, but she needed to say her spiel and get him to realize a few things before she could let out her true emotions over Dani’s heartbreaking situation.
She took a sip for strength. “I say this as one only child to another. You’ve always felt like an outsider and kept your distance, even from me. Your foster mother loved you unconditionally, but you never believed it because it would hurt too much if she sent you back into the program, like some of the other kids that passed through her house.”
“What’s this got to do with anything?” He was definitely short on patience, and could she blame him?
“It has everything to do with us. Don’t you see? You’ve always felt like you needed to prove yourself in order to be loved. Dani was abandoned. You knew how that felt. You could help him and return the favor your foster mother did for you. Loving a vulnerable kid is easy compared to a complicated grown-up like me.”
She took a long drink to gather the confidence to bring up the next part. The part about her. “Then there’s me, a girl who always felt rejected by her father. I didn’t have a clue how to trust a guy, and you wanted to keep a safe distance, but the problem was that we had the hots for each other. We were crazy about each other’s bodies. So we got in over our heads and tried to be grown-ups doing grown-up things, like falling in love.” She’d been looking around the living room instead of at him because what she had to say was hard, but now she zeroed in on him. She had to, to make sure he was following her line of thinking.
“But we still weren’t ready for that, even though we’re both adults. Then there was the third ingredient of us, Dani. He needed both of us because he lost both of his parents. And like I said, you and I really got along great in bed, and we thought we loved each other. Which is fine. We should love each other. But, Sam, there was still something missing. Need. We had to need each other, and not just for practical purposes.”
She stood, walked to him and knelt down in front of him, placing her palms on his knees. “After you left the other night, after you made the most unimpressive suggestion about moving in together, I had a lightbulb moment. You didn’t need me in that deep-down, I-can’t-live-without-you way every girl dreams about. It felt almost as if you could take me or leave me. Safe. You know?”
He didn’t react in an obvious way, but she was quite sure there was a glint of something in his gaze, except she was too afraid to read it just then. What if he really didn’t need her? “I had time to think and I realized I truly needed you in my life, whether you were ready for me or not. You made me come together. All my mixed-up parts finally came together. I needed you for that. Now I’m here because you need me. Because the little boy we both love is sick and needs us to come together and be there as a family unit for him. And you’re right, that might not be any more sexy or romantic than your offer to shack up, but I’ll settle for that right now. For Dani’s sake.”
She glanced up and saw a hint of gratitude in his gaze. “You need me because you don’t have the strength on your own to go through this alone again.” She squeezed his kneecaps. “You need me, Sam. And because of that I want to be here for you. For Dani.” Her eyes prickled, her vision blurred. She’d gotten to the hard part, the part she’d promised herself on the ride over she’d beg for if she had to, and so far it looked as if she might have to. “I’ll be your rock, I won’t abandon you if things get too tough, I’ll be your safe haven, I’ll comfort you, I’ll love you with everything I’ve got, because I love and need you, Sam.” The tears came and she couldn’t hold them back. “Can you admit you need me?” Her voice fluttered.
The invisible mask that held Sam’s face together dissolved. His chin quivered and his eyes squinted tightly, forcing tears out the sides. He grabbed Andrea’s hands, squeezing them like a man afraid to let go. “I thought I’d lost you forever when you asked me to leave. I might be the kind of screwed-up guy who asks a woman to move in because it’s the practical thing to do, but underneath I meant it with all my heart, and I was too damn afraid to ask you to marry me.”
She squeezed his hands. “Say it, Sam.”
“Propose?”
She shook her head. “You know what I want to hear.”
“I love you, Andrea.”
“And I love you. But I need you even more. Now say it. Please?”
He grew very serious and stared down at her. “Honey, I need you. I can’t face life without you.”
She sighed as chills covered her shoulders and back. He reached for her and she climbed onto his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing his wet cheek. “Baby, I’m all yours.”
* * *
Later, when Dani woke up, Sam made a simple dinner for the three of them, and afterward they played blocks and trucks and pretended that Dani’s life hadn’t been turned on its head again, until it was time to put him to bed. They’d take it one day at a time from here on.
“May I do the honors?” Andrea asked.
A week ago Sam had felt threatened by the fact that Dani had wanted Andrea to put him to bed instead of him. Tonight the request seemed like a godsend. How had he been so lucky to find a woman as strong and unyielding as Andrea?
“Give me a kiss,” he said to Dani. The scrawny kid’s arms circled his neck and tiny soft lips brushed his cheek, giving Sam a little taste of heaven, yet he ached inside. “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” Dani repeated, oblivious to what the near future would bring, as he trotted off to Andrea’s waiting hand. She beamed at the boy who’d soon be facing the battle of his life, but for now he was suspended in sweet grace, surrounded by the two people who loved him most.
As Andrea and Dani walked down the hall Sam couldn’t help but overhear his son’s question. “Are you going to be my mommy now?”
Andrea laughed. “That’s up to your daddy.”
Sam grinned, the first time he’d done so since he’d gotten the dreadful diagnosis for Dani’s remaining eye.
Then he called out, “You can count on that, son.”
EPILOGUE
One and a half years later...
DANI JUMPED ONTO the grass from the new wood swing set in the backyard. His independence always put Andrea on edge. He quickly utilized his newly learned skill of clicking to find his way back to the seat and climb on again. He’d been taking lessons from Ned, learning the art of echolocation and future independence, right along with Braille. They hadn’t been able to save his vision but had successfully killed the cancer.
At first the blow from the news about Dani having retinoblastoma in his remaining eye had seemed insurmountable. But Andrea and Sam, together, had given each other strength and support so they could be the rock their boy had needed while he’d gone through the process of going blind.
They’d also, as the tight-knit family unit they’d become, agreed not to coddle Danilo unnecessarily. Their goal was to make a stable home for the boys, something they could depend on and trust, and that was now especially important for Dani. That’s where the lessons with Ned came in, and the increase in Dani’s confidence as a result brought joy to both Andrea and Sam.
With his prosthetic eye in place, and his sightless eye looking exactly like the prosthetic, from this distance no one would ever notice he was blind. Dani jumped from the swing again, this time landing on his butt and laughing. Fernando may have a prosthetic leg, thanks to the drug cartel blowing up his village, but he ran like the wind, thanks to the latest high-tech prosthetics, and he swooped in to give his little brother a hand. Nando’s determination never ceased to amaze Andrea, and he always touched her heart with his gentle spirit. She couldn’t imagine a life without either of her sons.
Once Andrea had married Sam, she’d seen how much Sam had helped the orphanage in Mexicali and that he’d always stayed in touch with Fernando’s caregivers. Opening her heart to loving and needing Sam had opened her mind, too. She’d been the one to suggest they go through with the adoption. It had taken over a year, but here he was, a great addition to their ever-growing family.
Nando tripped on a tree root as he rushed to aid Dani again, but she didn’t run to him. These days it was too hard for her to get up. She and Sam had made a pact that the boys would be as independent as any other kids their age. She and Sam were determined not to let their sons’ special challenges hold them back in life. That’s why they’d let Nando try out for the junior soccer team in grade school, and he’d been accepted. He knew how to get back up, and he wasn’t hurt from tripping just now, so she stayed put in the Adirondack chair.
In the meantime, Dani had found his way to the slide and, squealing with joy and hands held high in the air, he slid down a little too fast, and at the bottom he tumbled head over heels onto the grass. After a long motherly sigh, Andrea watched with interest to see how he’d handle things. He started to stand, but not before his big brother had offered him a hand and pulled him up.
“Thanks!” Dani said. “Did you see that?”
“Pretty cool,” Fernando said, with a proud brotherly smile showing the gap from his newly missing front tooth.
Dani soon rushed back to his favorite outdoor pastime, the swing set and jungle gym complete with tree house, clicking all the way to the ladder for the slide. Back up he climbed.
Being eight and a half months pregnant made it almost impossible for Andrea to keep getting up and down. By the time she stood up, Fernando and Dani would have already worked out their problems, and wasn’t that the way to raise two independent boys? So she just sat there and observed the fun, praying for the best.
“Dinner’s ready!” Sam called from inside their new extra-large home. They’d found the perfect older house farther up the hills of Glendale, bordering La Crescenta, with four bedrooms, an add-on in the basement doubling as an art studio and prosthetics lab, including patient and/or client waiting area. So Andrea could work out of the house part-time for the hospital and part-time for herself. Judith had trained the replacement for herself and was now happily retired, but still working two to three days a week. The new house also had a rumpus room and a huge backyard! How could they raise two boys and their soon-to-be little sister without those essentials? And Grandma Barbara was a frequent guest, especially if Andrea had work or painting to do and Sam was at the hospital. Having grandchildren seemed to make her mother happier than Andrea had ever seen her.
Sam strolled toward Andrea, love openly twinkling in his eyes, and helped her up from the chair, then kissed her gently. She never grew tired of her husband’s simple displays of affection. She’d made the smartest decision of her life in marrying him. Once she’d convinced him of how much they needed each other, old emotional walls had come tumbling down and they’d never looked back. Neither had they ever been happier.
“Eww,” Nando teased.
“What happened?” Dani asked.
“They kissed. Again.”
“Yucky.”
The boys giggled, then rushed toward their parents.
“When are you guys going to get used to it?” Sam said, smiling, herding his sons along toward the house, Dani clicking all the way. “Wash your hands!” he called out when they overtook him, beating him to the back door, then he turned back to Andrea. “You coming?”
“In a second.” She’d had a Braxton Hicks contraction when she’d been getting up and wanted to wait for it to subside. Using the time to gaze around, she grinned at nothing in particular and everything in general. The yard. The huge oak tree. The beautiful old house. The sky the exact color of her husband’s eyes. The family that had just rushed inside for dinner. Her family. The people she loved with all her heart.
To some the life she’d chosen might seem super complicated, and it was, but the strangest thing had happened—she’d managed to find herself in the middle of that chaos. To Andrea the challenge of becoming Sam Marcus’s wife had turned out to be the greatest adventure of her life.
* * * * *
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ISBN-13: 9781488009402
A Mother for His Adopted Son
Copyright © 2016 by Janet Maarschalk
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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental. This edition published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.
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