"Eat." Herin shoved a plate of food into her hands and K'lrsa started eating.
She kept eating until the entire plate of food was empty and she was licking the crumbs from her fingers. "I'm sorry. Did any of you want any?" she asked, looking around the room at last.
"No. It was all for you. Healing is hungry work." Herin was seated at the table, Garzel stationed behind her as always.
Sayel sat on the floor, blocking the door. The prisoner slept on the other bed, his face flushed as he muttered and cried in his sleep, his arm now bound tight with wrappings.
"He'll be fine. I gave him milk of poppy."
"He isn't fine, Herin. He has four wounds that should be mine."
"Pzah, girl. Can't you just be grateful for once?"
K'lrsa sat forward. "Grateful? Should I thank you for last night? You healed me so I couldn't prove that Tarum had attacked me. You're the reason I was going to be put to death today. And you want me to be grateful?"
Herin let out a deep sigh. "I did it to protect Badru. See how well that worked. Foolish, love-sick boy. He ruined everything."
"No he didn't. He found a way to save me and not lose the support of his people."
"Did he?"
K'lrsa blinked, taken aback by Herin's question. "Yes?"
Herin shook her head. "When are you going to learn that men act from belief not facts you shove in their face? Those who believed Balor's story still do. Nothing you did or said in that room was ever going to change their minds."
"How can they think Balor subdued me? He could barely walk to the dais!"
"You're a woman."
"But I fought him. I…"
Herin pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes as if she was in intense pain.
"So Badru's still in danger?"
Herin nodded. "As long as you're alive, yes."
"Then I need to leave. I wanted to go home anyway. Let me go, now. I'll saddle up Fallion and ride out the gates and never come back."
Herin shook her head. "Too late. You leave now, you're running because you're guilty. No. You have to stay right here by Badru's side, may the Lady help us all."
They sat for a long time in silence, Sayel studying a crack in the floor like it held all the answers to the universe, Herin and Garzel having a private conversation of glances and touches.
K'lrsa wondering how she was ever going to get home to save her people.
At last, K'lrsa asked, "How did you learn to do it, Herin?"
"What?"
"Death-walker magic."
Herin traced her finger through a pool of water, drawing the same shape over and over again. "The Daliph."
"Badru?"
Herin shook her head. "The former Daliph."
Sayel looked up. "Why would he do that? Why would he teach you that?"
She laughed. "He didn't mean to." She met Sayel's accusing glare. "But if you watch something done often enough, you figure it out for yourself."
"What do you mean?" K'lrsa frowned, remembering all the horrible stories she'd heard about the former Daliph. "Did he heal people?"
Garzel rested his hand on Herin's shoulder and she reached up to squeeze it. "No. Not exactly." She sighed deeply. "He killed people. Then brought them back so he could kill them again. And again."
Herin studied the table, not looking at either of them. "He liked to break people, hurt them until they lost themselves and would do anything he asked. He'd spend days on someone, finding that perfect spot where they'd do anything he wanted, but weren't so far gone as to be useless."
She shrugged. "Seems I wasn't so easy to break." She swallowed, still staring at the table, her finger frozen mid-way through the shape she'd been drawing. "He cut me. He burned me. He hit me. See?"
Herin raised the hem of her robe to reveal skin crisscrossed with faint scars. There wasn't a single spot that didn't have at least one mark.
She smiled, an ugly smile full of hurt. "It never worked. I was still as angry, as defiant as ever." She flexed her hands, studying the stumps of her fingers.
"He didn't want an ugly bed slave, so when he was done with his entertainment for the day he had his death walkers heal me. I watched. And I learned."
"But your fingers…he never healed those?"
Herin flexed her hand before her eyes. "Couldn't. If you remove something from the body, it stays removed. That's why Garzel still has no tongue. And why Daliphs behead their enemies."
Sayel spoke up. "You said he liked to kill people and bring them back."
Herin met his eyes and nodded.
"Do you know how to do that, too?" Sayel trembled.
Herin turned away from him and looked back to K'lrsa. "When the Daliph realized that he couldn't hurt me enough to break me, he turned his attentions to Garzel.
"At first he just tortured Garzel the way he'd tortured me."
Garzel quietly moved to sit in the broken chair, delicately balancing his weight so the broken leg didn't tip him onto the ground. He reached across the table and held Herin's hand.
She stared into his eyes as she continued. "When that didn't work, he slit his throat in a fit of anger."
A chill ran down K'lrsa's spine.
Herin continued, still staring at Garzel. "I still remember sobbing and holding him in my lap as the blood pumped out of his neck and he died in my arms. I cried the entire day. I wouldn't eat, I wouldn't speak."
Her jaw twitched as she clenched her teeth. "I tried to kill myself that night, but failed. The next morning they brought Garzel back to me. I was so happy, so overjoyed, I couldn't hide it."
She squeezed Garzel's hand and looked down at the table. "The next day, the Daliph killed him again.
"And again every day after."
Herin's voice was barely a whisper. Garzel wiped a tear away from her eye with his free hand.
K'lrsa shivered. "Didn't you…? At some point, didn't…?"
Herin glared at her. "Didn't I stop caring? Stop crying? Stop reacting?" She laughed. "I wish."
She reached her other hand across the table to hold both of Garzel's in her own. "Garzel was sent to me by the Lady Moon the same way Badru was sent to you. He's my one true mate. My center. So, no. It never stopped hurting to lose him. And never ceased to make me smile to get him back."
She stood, shaking away her memories. "See, child. Sometimes it can be the worst possible fate to find that one true love. Love can lead you to destruction just as easily at it leads you to salvation."
Herin checked on the prisoner as she continued, "It's why I didn't want you to stay. I knew what the bond between you and Badru could do and I didn't want that for him."
K'lrsa sat forward. "But what about the positives? What about having your equal at your side? Someone who will support and love you through anything? What about knowing that you've found your other half? That you're not alone in this world?"
Herin chuckled. "How's that worked for you both so far?"
K'lrsa frowned. "We're good for each other, Herin. I wouldn't have survived here this long without him."
"You've caused his downfall."
K'lrsa shook her head, trying to deny the truth of Herin's words. "No I haven't. He's still the Daliph."
"For how long? Because of you, his enemies felt strong enough to move against him last night."
K'lrsa shook her head in denial.
Herin raised an eyebrow. "They would've never dared something like that if they didn't think he was weak."
"You're wrong. And they failed today. That can only make him stronger."
She glanced around the room, but Sayel, Herin, and Garzel all looked skeptical. "Badru handled it well. He showed them that they couldn't force his hand. That he's smart and clever and knows more than they do."
Herin laughed. "You don't understand this world, child. These men."
"I'm not a fool."
Herin pinched the bridge of her nose. "No, you're not. You're just young and naïve. We've all been there at some point. F
ortunately, time eventually heals that particular affliction. As long as you survive long enough.
"Until it does, I suggest you talk less and listen more. Sayel, take her back to her rooms."
K'lrsa wanted to say more, but Herin raised an eyebrow, daring K'lrsa to ignore her advice.
K'lrsa bowed her head and followed Sayel out of the room.
He led her back through the series of dark and twisty hallways, lost in his own thoughts, doubt and worry clouding his face.
K'lrsa walked next to him wondering if Herin was right. Had she caused Badru's downfall? And, if so, what did that mean?
For him.
And for her.
Chapter 83
When they reached her rooms, Morlen was there waiting. He rushed forward, searching her face and her body for signs of injury. "You're well, my dorana?"
"I am, Morlen. Thank you."
She surprised herself with the small surge of affection she felt for the man. She glanced back and forth between Sayel and Morlen realizing that she actually liked these men assigned to turn her into something she'd never be. Somehow they'd become like uncles to her.
How bizarre.
Sayel pushed him towards the door. "I'll stay here. You go, get rest. I want either you or me by her side at all times from now on."
Morlen nodded and left, leaving K'lrsa alone with Sayel who proceeded to pace back and forth. He was such a big man he seemed to take up the entire room.
"Sayel, stop. What's wrong with you?"
He turned to her. "She's an abomination."
"Who?"
"Herin. And Garzel. Death walkers. They pervert the natural order." He glanced at her arm and then away.
"They didn't want to be."
He shook his head. "They had a choice. Maybe not in what the Daliph did to them. But they chose to use what they learned for themselves. They chose to…"
"To heal me. To save me from Badru's enemies."
He dropped onto the stone bench by the window. "I know. And that's what makes this so hard."
"Makes what so hard?"
He looked up at her, his eyes sad. "I have to tell the temple."
A chill ran down her spine. "What will they do when you tell them, Sayel?"
He looked away, biting his lip. "Kill them. Such knowledge is forbidden and the only way to eliminate it is to eliminate those who know."
He studied his hands, not meeting her eyes.
"Is that all they'll do?"
"No. They'll…they'll kill you, too. And me."
K'lrsa approached Sayel carefully, as if she was face-to-face with an adder snake coiled to strike at the slightest movement. "Is that best, Sayel? What will happen to Badru if they kill Herin, Garzel, me, and you? What will happen to the Daliphate?"
"I don't know, but I have to tell them." He buried his face in his hands.
K'lrsa sat down next to him and rested her hand on his back.
He looked at her, tears in his eyes. "I took vows, K'lrsa. Vows to protect the Daliphate. Vows to the temple."
She nodded, waiting.
Sayel stared down at his hands, his forehead a wrinkle of conflicting emotions.
She knew she couldn't let him tell, but she wasn't sure what she'd do to stop him.
Could she kill Sayel if it meant protecting herself? And Badru?
She didn't know.
They were still sitting there side-by-side when Badru barged into the room without even knocking. He immediately ran to K'lrsa, took her hands in his, and kissed them. "You're unharmed. I thought…watching you…"
She nodded slightly, glancing to the two guards behind him. Sayel had tensed at Badru's arrival, a thrum of energy racing through his body, his leg shuddering against K'lrsa's.
"Badru, can we speak in private?"
He glanced back at his guards. "Wait outside."
They hesitated—the first time she'd ever seen anyone hesitate to follow his orders—but they left.
"What is it, my love? What did you want to tell me?"
K'lrsa let Sayel speak. She knew how badly he wanted to tell his secret.
"Most honored leader, K'lrsa was injured in the fight."
Badru looked back and forth between them. "How? Where?"
"Balor crushed my arm. And when I kicked him, it broke the bones in my foot."
Badru half-smiled. He took her hands in his and made a point of examining each arm. "I don't see any injuries now. Surely you weren't miraculously healed."
K'lrsa and Sayel looked at one another.
Badru, noting the silence, tensed. "K'lrsa, how were you healed?"
He knew. Or suspected.
She met his eyes. "Herin. She's a…"
He stepped away from her, shaking his head slightly. "Don't. No. I don't want to know this."
K'lrsa stood and took his hands in hers. "You have to, Badru. Herin is a death walker. So is Garzel. They healed my wounds last night and again today after the fight."
His hands trembled in hers. He looked around the room, shaking his head. "Abominations. They're both abominations."
He pulled away and turned towards the wall, his shoulders shaking.
"There's more, Badru."
"More? What else could there possibly be? You tell me that my grandmother and her husband, the only two people I've known and loved my whole life, are death walkers. What more can there be?"
She took a deep breath and glanced back at Sayel before she spoke again. "I don't know for sure, but I think Herin used death walker magic to bring Lodie back to life."
Badru turned to stare at her, his eyes wide, his mouth hanging open. Sayel choked behind her, but she only had eyes for Badru.
"So Herin knows enough to bring someone back from the dead? It's not just healing, it's…" He clenched his fists. "It makes sense."
He paced the room. "Death walker magic requires balance. A life for a life." He turned on K'lrsa. "Who did she use to heal you?"
"A prisoner sentenced to death tomorrow." K'lrsa wanted to reach out to him, but she was scared by the look in his eyes and the way his hands kept clenching and unclenching as he walked back and forth, faster and faster.
He kept pacing the room as they all wondered the same thing. Who had she killed to save Lodie?
"What shall we do, most honored leader?" Sayel looked surprisingly small for such a large man.
Badru met Sayel's eyes. "You know as well as I do. They have to die."
As Sayel nodded, the door opened and Herin entered with Garzel.
Badru drew his sword and rushed her.
Chapter 84
Herin danced to the side, more spry and limber than K'lrsa had thought possible. "Pzah, boy. Don't be a fool."
Garzel slammed the door before the guards could see. He drew his own sword and Badru charged him. The clash of their swords echoed throughout the room as Garzel threw Badru back.
Badru glared at Herin, his face twisted with pain. "You're an abomination."
Herin shrugged, moving carefully to keep Garzel between them. "I know some of what the death walkers know. It doesn't make me one. I'm not part of their order."
"But you know what they know. You have to die."
"If you kill me, you have to kill her, too."
A tremor ran through Badru's arm and he lowered the sword. "You healed K'lrsa."
"Yes. I saved the girl you love. You're welcome." She seated herself on the seat in front of the small mirror. "Without me some doctor somewhere would be cutting her arm off right now. And her foot. Would you rather I'd left her to that fate?"
He raised the sword slightly and Garzel stepped forward, his own sword held at the ready. "Whose life did you take to save Lodie's?"
Herin shook her head.
"Grandmother. Whose life did you take?"
She glared at him. "L'dia was my sister. She sacrificed everything to save me. Do you think I could just sit there and watch her die after all those years? After what he did to her because of me?"
"Whos
e life did you take?" Badru emphasized each word.
Herin waved her hand at him. "Put your sword away, boy. We don't have time for this."
Badru's fingers turned white where they gripped the sword hilt. "I'm the Daliph, woman."
"And I'm your grandmother. The only reason you stand where you are today is because of me. So put your cursed sword away."
"I would've managed without you." He said the words, but there was no conviction behind them.
Herin laughed, the sound filling the room like harsh sunlight and grel ready to feast. "Boy, you'd've never lasted long enough to become Daliph if it weren't for me, let alone stayed Daliph for more than a day. Now put that sword away so we can plan how you're going to live through the night."
Badru put the sword away, but he shook his head. "You go too far, old woman. You are my grandmother and for that I'll spare your life and protect you from the temple. But you've lied to me too many times for me to trust you now."
Herin frowned, her face a mass of wrinkles, but she didn't speak or act as he stepped to the door and called in his guards.
"Escort my grandmother and her poradom to her rooms. Station a guard. She's not to leave without my express permission."
Herin stood slowly. "Badru, don't be a fool."
He whirled on her like a desert windstorm. "I am your Daliph, woman. Treat me as such."
Herin smirked and bowed her head. Just a bit, but she did bow it. "Very well. You know where to find me when you need me."
"I won't."
Herin raised an eyebrow, but she didn't say anything more.
She strode from the room with Garzel trailing along behind, her head held high, never looking back.
Sayel followed them out with one final glance at K'lrsa. She hoped he'd accept Badru's decision in this.
Chapter 85
K'lrsa shivered. She didn't like Herin and she didn't doubt that the woman would lie, cheat, and kill if she had to, but she suspected that Herin was probably the only one of them who saw the truth of their situation.
She took Badru's arm in hers. "Are you sure that was wise?"
"Yes. It's time I stepped out from under her shadow. My subjects have never liked that I accepted counsel from a woman. And a foreigner at that."
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