I bark out a mirthless laugh causing Lola to look at me. “You belong to me. I decide what’s important to me.” I place a hand behind her neck. “You have a piece of me, Lola, one you can’t give back.” I place my other hand over her heart. “There’s nothing I won’t do for you. It’s been four years, love. Did you think I was only using you for a fuck?”
Lola shrugs.
“Your son does that. It’s fucking annoying.”
Lola nods, sits up straighter, and places her hand over my heart. “I’m sorry.”
I smile at her. “And that’s the first step.”
Lola smiles back at me and puts her lips to mine. The kiss is soft, feather-light, and it’s fleeting. Without thinking, I embrace her to deepen it, but she gasps in pain.
“Shit, sorry. I’ve missed you.”
Again, her face twists into a mask of sorrow, and more tears fall.
“Hush, let’s get you to Da’s. Have you settle, and I’ll go and get Logan. We’ll work this out, together, as a family.”
The tears come hard and fast, and as gently as I can, I hold her until she goes quiet and can’t cry anymore.
With red-rimmed eyes, Lola whispers, “You never wanted a child. You never wanted to claim me. You like your life as it is… uncomplicated.”
“I did.” Putting a finger under her chin so I’m staring into her eyes, hoping she understands what I’m about to say. “Over the past few days, the one thing I do know I want is you. And if you come with a smart-ass teenage son, then that’s okay. We’ll figure it out.”
Lola sags against me as what I assume is relief overtakes her.
Annie comes back into the room. “Would you like a cup of tea?”
Lola shakes her head.
“No, thanks, Annie. I’m going to take Lola to Da’s house.”
Annie shakes her head. “Kyle MacKenny, how many times do I have to tell you, it’s your house. Take Lola there and make it a home.”
As always, Annie knows the right things to say. Lola stands, and I do too.
“Thank you, Annie.”
“Pfft! Family isn’t always about blood. It’s being there when you need someone.” Annie reaches up and touches my shoulder. “And you and your brothers have always been there for me. I’ll always think of you as my own.” She pats my shoulder and stands back. “Now, get this young lady home. She needs to rest.”
Kyle
Sleep. I’ve always been able to close my eyes and drift off almost immediately. Logan is asleep in the front bedroom. Lola is in the master bedroom, and she too is asleep. Her newly dyed red hair splayed out over the pillow, giving her an almost angelic appearance. Her face is peaceful, and I’m not sure whether it’s from the painkillers, relief at still being mine, or simply having a home for her son with me.
Kicking off my boots, I strip quickly and slide under the cotton sheets. Although she’s asleep, Lola’s hand finds mine and our fingers entwine instinctively. I smile. Even in sleep, she’s searching for a connection. The ache that was in my chest has eased. I wish the pain would disappear completely, but there’s still more for us to get through.
We have her brother and Tommy and Suzie out at the pit, and I handed her mother over to the Rochas. I’m going to give her two days to heal, and then together, we’re going to sit down and talk about the events of the last few days.
I have no idea how she’s going to react.
Moving onto my side, I stare at her sleeping face and send a prayer up to the Almighty, thanking him for getting her back to me in one piece and asking for forgiveness for what I have to do.
Closing my eyes, I listen to her breathing, and, as always, sleep claims me within moments.
Rolling over, I reach out for Lola and find the bed empty and cold. Pulling on my jeans, I stagger out. Hearing voices, I follow them and find Lola and Logan in the kitchen. Both are laughing and talking. Leaning against the wall, I remain quiet and observe mother and son find their way around each other. They’re cooking what I think is spaghetti bolognese, the sauce smells good.
“Are you sure this is how you make garlic bread?”
Lola shrugs. “I think so?”
“So, we mash the garlic into the butter and spread it on? Surely, there’s more to it than that?”
“What else would go in it?”
Logan shrugs. “The one from the store has green bits in it.”
“Green bits?”
“Yeah, some kind of herb?”
I chuckle at their banter, and they turn around to face me.
“Hey, sleepyhead,” says Lola.
Logan grins at me. “About time you got up.”
Pushing off the wall, I walk toward them and casually put my arm around Lola’s waist. “What time is it?”
Lola kisses me. “It’s one o’clock.”
“What?” I ask as I check the time on the microwave.
“Yeah. I tried to wake you, but you were out,” says Logan.
“It’s been a rough few days, kid.”
Logan nods. “We have spaghetti sauce on, tried to make pasta, and now we’re working on garlic bread.”
“I heard,” I reply with a chuckle. “The green stuff is parsley. But you don’t have to put it in. The garlic and the butter will do. Although, if you want to take it up a level, cheese is good.”
“Everything’s better with cheese,” agrees Logan.
“What did you mean by you tried to make pasta?”
Lola moves slightly away from me. “You don’t have a pasta machine, and I can’t roll it out. Logan tried, but…” her words trail off as she grins at her son.
“Hey, I did an okay job. Your instructions kind of sucked.”
Laughing loudly, I ask, “Okay, where is it?”
Logan points to a clothes-drying rack that they have set up in the corner where hand-cut strips of pasta are hanging. Walking over, I inspect the irregular pasta.
“Looks like a cross between angel hair and fettuccine, but it looks good.”
Logan smiles and puffs up his chest. “I did that on purpose.”
Lola laughs and shakes her head. “Sure, you did.”
Logan smirks at his mother, and she ruffles his hair. The interaction between the two of them makes me smile.
“I’m going to go shower. Have you two got this?”
“Yeah, babe, we got this,” replies Lola while Logan nods and grins.
Lola
The last two days have been good. But it’s like I’m waiting for the bomb to drop, for my newfound world to implode, and from the way Kyle keeps staring at me, there’s more he needs to say or show me. I’m not made of glass. I am so much stronger than that. Sure, I’m a little broken right now, but I’m mending both mentally and physically. Kyle is sitting out back in the sun, coffee cup in his hands, looking like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders. Logan is watching television in the family room. So, I fix myself a coffee and go sit next to Kyle. His hand instinctively goes to my leg, and he purses his lips but remains silent. I’ve seen him charge full steam ahead into most situations, and it’s a rare thing to see him think about what he wants to say.
“Share your burden.”
He gazes at me, one side of his lips go up at the corner, and he quirks an eyebrow at me. “You sound like Da.”
“I wish I’d met him.”
Kyle sits back and nods. “Me, too.”
He opens his mouth to speak, then closes it again. Kyle straightens then stares straight ahead. “Lola, there’s something I need to tell you.” Kyle puts his cup down and twists to stare at me. “Do you know what your family did?”
“Used me to get to you?”
“And the rest?” Kyle’s hand goes to the side of my neck, and his thumb rubs my jawline.
I shake my head. “No.”
“Your mother and your brothers made a deal with the Rochas. They made them believe that the Loyal Rebels were involved.” His hand falls away.
“But we don’t do drugs.”
Kyle nods
. “They knew you were mine and that they were your family. The Rochas assumed that we were down with the deal.”
“But everyone knows.”
“Apparently not. Wheels has been friendly with them.” Kyle sits back and scrubs a hand over his face. “Deedee now belongs to Cristiano. It’s a fucking mess. Wheels turned up at the clubhouse. Cutter called… he’s been on a bender. They’re trying to sober him up so they can take him out to his kids. Beth’s been taking care of them.”
Beth, Sean’s woman, is country through and through. She says what she means and means what she says. I’ve watched her call Sean out on his bullshit, and I’ve watched her melt when he talks to her. There’s nothing she wouldn’t do for him, and her motherly instinct would’ve kicked in the moment those children were brought into their home. Wheels may never get them back.
“What else?”
Kyle stands and looks out over the small back garden. “We…” He pauses and shakes his head. “I… handed over your mother to the Rochas. It was her fault that Smokey was killed.”
So many thoughts run through my head, and all of them centered around the fact my family got someone killed. My junkie mother got us mixed up with a drug cartel, and I was her way in.
“I’m so sorry.”
Quickly, Kyle turns around, his face a mix of rage and anger. I’ve never seen him so raw, so animalistic. His change in temperament causes me to sit back and away from him.
“What she did… that’s not on you. What your brothers did… that’s also not on you. You kept secrets from me, Lola. And that… that is on you.” Kyle crouches in front of me, placing his hands on my knees.
Whispering, I say, “I don’t blame you for handing her over.”
Kyle nods. “There’s more. I’ve made it clear to the MC that this is your decision, but…” he shakes his head, “… I need you to think about what’s best for us.”
I place my hands over his. “You tell me what you want me to do, and I’ll do it.”
“We have your brother, Tommy, and Suzi at the pit.”
His eyes bore into mine, and I flinch at his meaning. Kyle, the man I love, wants me to kill the people who have wronged the MC. The people who hurt me. My only family. But like Annie said, family isn’t always about blood. It’s about those who are willing to stand by your side when things get tough.
Cupping his face with one hand, I put my forehead to his, even though my ribs throb with pain at my position.
“They need to pay. The Rochas need to pay. You, Logan, and the MC are the only things that matter.”
Kyle
Lola stares into my eyes and says the words I need to hear. I need to know she’ll back me, the MC, and our relationship. Letting out a breath I didn’t know I was holding, I lean forward and kiss her lips. Lola pulls away first. A wince of pain crosses her face.
“Are you okay?”
Lola nods. “My ribs didn’t like me crouching over like that.”
“Jesus, babe, don’t hurt yourself on my account.”
A single tear runs down her cheek. “You’re worth it.” Lola brushes the tear away and shakes her head.
In the sunlight, her red hair shines brightly. I pick up a lock of it, feeling the softness on my fingers. “I really like the red. It suits you.” Grinning at her, I wink. “Makes me think I’ve got a whole new woman.”
“That’s a good thing, yeah?”
“Yeah.” I stand and hold out my hand. “Come on, we have work to do.”
“What about Logan?” asks Lola as she puts her hand in mine and rises.
“Let’s go talk to him.”
“And tell him what?” Lola’s face is furrowed with worry.
“Just that we need him to stay here while we attend to business.”
Lola nods.
We walk into the house.
Logan is on the couch, feet on the coffee table, watching the television. “Hey,” Logan offers as a greeting.
Lola gives me a strained smile and sits next to him. “Bud, we need to go out for a while. Will you be okay here by yourself?”
“Can I come?”
I shake my head. “MC business.”
“Is it because of me? Because I killed Garry?”
“Oh, no, Logan, this has nothing to do with you,” replies Lola as she puts her arm around him.
Logan nods and looks to me for validation.
“Your mom’s right. It has nothing to do with you.”
Logan nods then stares at Lola. “Mom?”
“Yes?”
Logan shakes his head. “You’ve never actually said it.”
“That I’m your mother?” Logan nods. “I am. We have a lot to talk about.”
“I always knew. There’s no way my dad would’ve been with Yvette. And I saw the way he would look at you when you’d visit.”
“Why didn’t you ever say anything?”
Logan shrugs. “I figured eventually you’d both tell me.”
Lola stares up at me, her eyes filled with sadness. “We had a plan, your dad and me. We were going to tell you on your sixteenth birthday. I’m so sorry it happened this way.”
I nod at her, knowing her explanation is as much for me as it is for Logan.
“We have to go.” I hold out my hand to her. “Logan, will you be okay?”
“Yeah. I’ve got the TV and food. I’ll be fine.”
“You’ll find an X-box hidden in the TV unit in the bottom drawer. Just don’t tell Lochlan.”
“Cool!”
With Lola’s hand in mine, we walk out of our home and head for the pit.
Lola can’t ride because of her wrist, so I drive us to the clubhouse. The mood when we walk in is somber. Smokey’s funeral is on everyone’s mind. A few of the club whores approach Lola, and I leave her with them as I go in search of Rocky. He’ll know where I can find Wheels.
Rocky is out back in the kitchen, making himself a grilled cheese.
“Hey, man, want to make me one of those?”
Rocky nods and begins slapping the sandwich together. The silence in the room is stifling, and I’m waiting for Rocky to say something. But he doesn’t. He’s actively avoiding eye contact. So, I lean up against a bench, cross my ankles, and stare at him. When he’s finished making me a grilled cheese, he hands it to me and copies my stance as he eats his.
“You okay?” I ask.
Rocky nods.
“Bullshit.”
His eyes find mine, and he gives a shake of his head.
“Normally, I can’t shut you up. You have an opinion on fucking everything, but here you are quiet as a fucking mouse.”
Rocky bites into his grilled cheese and shrugs. “You want my opinion on something? Seems like I’ve been out of the loop.”
I put the plate down and scoff. “Is that what this is about? You’re feeling left out?”
Rocky drops his sandwich onto the plate and pushes off the bench. “It’s more than that, and you know it." He points at me. “I’m your friend, Kyle. I’ve always respected you as our president, but more than that, I thought we were friends.”
The muscles across his chest ripple underneath his white T-shirt, his anger is bubbling away under the surface. If he hit me, I’d be out for a week. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Rocky this angry. It’s a quiet, controlled rage, and so far, everything he’s said is true.
“I thought I was protecting the MC.”
Rocky nods. “So, you’ve said.”
“What do you want from me?”
Rocky shakes his head and bares his teeth in a scary grin. “Fucking forget it. What do you want, Kyle?”
I purse my lips together and draw myself up to my full height. Rocky outweighs me by at least fifty pounds, so I’m not going to pick a fight with him, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to let him speak to me this way.
“Where’s Wheels?”
“Over in the garage. The boys put him to work to keep him occupied while he sobers up.”
“You think that
was the smartest thing to do?”
With his hands on his hips, Rocky scans me up and down. “Sorry, I thought keeping him busy and not worrying about his junkie, slut of a wife or his kids, or drinking himself into an early grave was a good thing. But, hey, Prez, why don’t you tell me what you think I should have done?”
“I did the wrong thing.”
Rocky looks taken aback. “What?”
“You’re one of my closest friends. I should have kept you in the loop. I didn’t know what the fuck I was walking into, and I didn’t want any of it to blowback on you or the club.” I throw a hand in the air. “But you’re right. Above all that, we are friends, and it was wrong not to tell you. I won’t make that mistake again.”
The man visibly calms down. He puts a hand to the back of his neck and rubs. Then he opens his mouth several times as if he’s going to say something. In the end, he smiles and nods at me.
“Come on, Prez, let’s go find Wheels.”
I nod, and he claps me on the back as he walks past me.
I might be their leader, but I lost sight of the fact that Rocky and the men of my MC are more than people I need to take care of. They are also my friends. And after my family, they are the people I trust.
Following Rocky, he leads me over to the garage where we find Wheels. They’ve got him sitting at one of the wooden workbenches sorting bolts, putting them in glass jars.
“What the fuck?”
“You didn’t think I’d let him work on anything, did you?”
Wheels looks up at me, exhaustion in his features.
Rocky grins and walks up beside the man. “How you feeling?”
“You’ve had me sorting through these fucking bolts for hours. How the fuck do you think I am?”
“You need to sober up and better this than drowning your sorrows again,” replies Rocky.
Wheels glances at me, then down at the benchtop. “I heard you saw Deedee.”
My top lip curls at the sound of her name. “Yeah.”
“Rocky says she wanted to stay.”
A man can’t help who he loves. I’m proof of that. When Lola got taken, my only thought was to get her back, even though she didn’t tell me everything there was to know about her. But Lola, she’s never strayed. I’ve never cheated on her either, and if either of us did, it’s a sign that we’ve lost what we had and need to go our separate ways. Wheels allowed Deedee to do what she did. His love has twisted into more like an obsession.
Spark of Hope: MacKenny Brothers Series Book 3: An MC/Band of Brothers Romance Page 13
