by Amelia Grey
Ever since Esmeralda had walked away from Lady Norwood at the ball, she’d been tamping down the unwelcome feeling of trepidation that kept wanting to rise inside her. If she let it, she knew it would defeat and devour her. That couldn’t happen. There was no reason for the feelings of apprehension simmering inside her. She’d done nothing wrong. Yes, she’d withheld information that the duke would have probably wanted to know, but she hadn’t deceived him. She hadn’t been under any obligation to tell him about her mother’s past as it had no bearing on her ability to do what was expected of her.
It had been easy to avoid his penetrating gaze in the dark carriage, but now, while she was busy removing her outer clothing, she couldn’t stop glancing at him. He was looking at her too. That the duke was also shedding his damp cloak dashed her faint hope that he might leave without questioning her.
She wondered what was going through his mind as he peeled his gloves from his hands. Did he know she was troubled? Was he unsure about what to say or do? Would he think she was tainted by her mother’s refusal to obey her brother? And what would he think of Josephine once he knew who her father was?
No! Esmeralda silently reprimanded herself once again. She would not allow thoughts of despair to weigh her down.
“Are you going to sit with us for a while before you go, Griffin?” Lady Sara asked.
“Yes, do,” Lady Vera added, taking hold of his hand. “It would be lovely to continue our discussion about the evening with you.”
Pensive, he said, “Not tonight.”
“Then why have you taken off your cloak?” Lady Sara asked with an amused smile. “Was it just so you could put it on again, or are you getting forgetful in your old age?”
“Neither is the case, so stop being impish.” He patted her cheek affectionately. “You two go on up. I have a few things to discuss with Miss Swift and then I’ll be on my way.”
“I’m not sleepy and don’t want to go to bed. Perhaps we can join your discussions.”
Griffin pulled his hand out of his sister’s grasp. “You can’t join me, but I see no reason why you and Sara can’t talk in one of your rooms for the rest of the night if you want to.”
Lady Vera reached up and kissed his cheek. “Thank you, dear brother. That’s exactly what I wanted to hear you say anyway.”
Lady Sara bussed his other cheek. “Let’s go to your room, Vera, since it’s the farthest from Aunt Evelyn’s. That way we won’t wake her with our laughter.”
Lifting their skirts, the twins headed up the stairs.
The time had come. No more delays were afforded her. She had to face Griffin. Inhaling a deep breath, she met his steady blue gaze. There was no anger or disappointment in his expression. He didn’t even look perplexed. He looked determined.
Very determined.
Quietly, almost softly, he said, “Would you join me in the book room, Esmeralda?”
Staring up into his gorgeous blue eyes, Esmeralda felt an unwavering strength come over her and settle in her bones. She was going to be all right. No matter how he chose to deal with this information, he would not cower her.
“Very well,” she said as she heard the door to Lady Vera’s room close.
Depending on her inner strength, she walked past him and headed down the corridor. If the duke decided to turn her off, she would manage. She had always managed.
There was no lamp burning, no fire on the grate when she walked into the chilled room. The only light was a faint yellow glow that spilled down from the vestibule, brightening only a few feet into the room. Welcoming the darkness, Esmeralda went farther into the shadows near the window before turning around.
Griffin stood in the doorway. Their gazes met across the room. In that instant she almost wilted. Backlit by the lamplight cast down the corridor he looked magnificent, powerful, and commanding. All those things and so much more. This unattainable man had captured her heart, and she had no idea how she was going to free it. There was no will inside her to do so.
Without a word said and with long, purposeful strides, Griffin strode over to her and in a single fluid motion slid his arms around her waist, caught her up in his arms, and quickly claimed her lips for his own. His startling and unexpected actions took her breath away, frightening and thrilling her all at the same time. His lips were warm, smooth, and moist, moving slowly, surely, deftly over hers. A pleasure she’d never known spiraled through her body, like fireworks shooting into the sky, and she surrendered into the bounty of his embrace.
The kiss was no brief, light brushing of his lips against hers, as she’d imagined many times in her dreams. It was seeking, demanding, and savoring, continuing second after glorious second, making sure she knew he wanted to kiss her as much as she’d wanted him to.
Instinctively she parted her lips. His strong, firm arms pulled her more solidly to his wide chest and wrapped tighter around her back as if in fear someone would rip her from his grasp. His lips moved over hers in a hungry, greedy way that caused a tightening in her breasts, a quickening in the depths of her abdomen and between her legs. Somehow she knew he wanted her to open her mouth and, when she did, his tongue slipped inside. She heard him swallow small gasps of pleasure as he explored the depths of her mouth.
Their kisses ebbed and flowed. At times they kissed long, hard, and generous. Some kisses were soft and quick. Their breaths, moans, and sighs mingled quietly and eagerly together, becoming one passionate sound.
Esmeralda lifted her arms and circled his neck, allowing him to press her closer to his hard, muscular body. Her hands cupped the back of his head and her fingers tangled in the rich thickness of his hair before exploring the width of his shoulders.
Griffin’s lips left hers and he kissed her cheek, her chin, and down to the crook of her neck before searching out her lips once again. With an urgent touch, his hand raked across her breast to her waist, her hip, and around to her buttocks, lifting her tightly against him before finding her breast again.
“You are a beautifully shaped woman, Esmeralda,” he whispered against her lips. “You should never be hidden behind gray cloth.”
“It is best for me,” she answered quickly before her breaths were once again claimed by his kisses.
His caresses were eager yet tender and sure. She gasped from the onslaught of all the different sensations mounting inside her as he breathed deeper, faster.
Griffin raised his head long enough to look into her eyes and whisper, “Not nearly enough,” before claiming her lips once more.
Her body trembled, but so did his.
His kisses moved from her lips to her cheeks, her chin, and her eyelids, leaving no place on her face or neck untouched. Holding her close, his caresses were confident, commanding as he molded her breast in his palm with one hand and pressed her backside against him with the other. Esmeralda felt a hard bulge beneath his trousers. Her breaths quickened again. She had never felt anything like the sensations exploding inside her and, without really knowing why or how, she met his ardor with a surprising fervency of her own, pressing near him, clinging to him, and encouraging his touch.
With a long, desperate-sounding breath, Griffin suddenly turned her loose. He expelled a short, humorless laugh and stepped away from her.
Dismayed by the abrupt end to their passion and slightly dizzy from her still-reeling senses, Esmeralda moistened her lips and swallowed. She had no idea that kissing would feel so amazingly wonderful and so satisfying, and yet leave her wanting so much more. Surely Griffin couldn’t deny that he’d been enjoying her kisses as much as she’d relished his. She’d clearly felt his desire for her through their clothing.
What would happen now? He’d said he couldn’t kiss her as long as she was in his employ. But now he had. Fear started mounting inside her.
“I swear to you I didn’t expect to kiss you when I asked you to come in here.”
“I know. It was an afterthought.”
“That doesn’t do justice to what I was feeling, Esmeralda.
” He grunted. “I wanted to be angry with you, but…” He paused.
Her eyes had adjusted to the darkness. Frustration etched his handsome features. “But?”
“When I saw you standing in here in the shadows, all I could think was, dear God, I want to kiss her right now. To hell with my honor, to hell with what was right and proper. To hell with what was best for you. I just wanted to kiss you and I could no longer deny myself the taste of you. I have wanted you in my arms almost from the moment I saw you.”
That admission sent her heartbeat spinning again. She’d wanted that too, but she was too vulnerable at the moment to confess it out loud as he had.
If not for Griffin, how could she have ever known that such stirring sensations existed inside the body, waiting to be brought so vividly to life? She’d dreamed about being gathered gently in his arms, about sharing a soft kiss or two, but her thoughts hadn’t prepared her for the consuming desire that had seeped into her soul, satisfying her so intimately she ached for the wonderful feelings to never end. And even now she couldn’t wait to experience them again.
“Is what you told Lady Norwood true?” he asked, his breath sounding calmer. “The current Viscount Mayeforth is your cousin?”
Esmeralda hadn’t talked about her past since she’d applied for a position with the agency. Miss Fortescue had listened to her story about her mother and deemed Esmeralda acceptable, so there was never a reason to talk about it again.
“Yes. I suppose you think it was wrong of me not to tell you.”
“I would have rather heard it from you, yes.”
“You’re upset with me.”
“No, but I want you to explain why you kept this information a secret from me.”
From a habit she’d developed when challenged, she lifted her chin. “I didn’t tell you about my mother’s family because they have no merit concerning my life.”
“That puzzles me.” He sighed heavily as he raked a hand through his hair. “Maybe I am upset with you. You and Josephine are granddaughters of a viscount. And yet, you earn a living by working at an employment agency. You led me to believe you were a—”
“Commoner,” Esmeralda said, suddenly defensive. “Not worthy.”
His eyes and forehead narrowed into a frown. “That’s not what I was going to say. Nor is it fair of you to suggest it was.”
Peers always thought they were fair. Hiding her hurt in anger, she glared at him. “My mother’s brother said those words to her about Myles Graham, the man she was in love with and wanted to marry.”
“I was going to say you led me to believe you were a poor, distant relative of Sir Timothy Swift’s, and there was no one to offer you protection or help,” he said tightly. “There has never been anything common about you, Esmeralda, and now I know why. You aren’t.”
His words hit in the heart of her heart and her legs went weak. He’d never know how desperately she needed to hear that from him right now. She wanted to be worthy. To be worthy of him. Suddenly she felt close to that dreaded feminine weakness called crying.
Instead, she reached deep into her reserve of strength and said, “It’s also true that I am a poor relative of Sir Timothy. My father never accrued wealth of his own.”
“What I don’t know is why you aren’t under the care and protection of the current Lord Mayeforth. I know he’s ill, but that doesn’t absolve him from his duty to you and Josephine.”
“He has no duty. My mother was disowned by her brother,” Esmeralda said, suddenly feeling on the verge of tears again for all her mother had lost and for the loss of her mother. “Banished from her brother’s house, his wealth, and his life. From all her family.”
Griffin gave her an incredulous stare. “She might have been, but you shouldn’t have been. You and Josephine are granddaughters of a viscount and should be treated as such. You shouldn’t be a chaperone for my sisters’ Season, you should be under Lord Mayeforth’s household and having your own Season.”
Esmeralda huffed. “I have no reason to believe my cousin is any different from his father. I have no desire to be under his roof or his guardianship.”
“You deserve it by right of your birth.”
“So did my mother, but she was denied it simply because she disobeyed her brother,” she offered earnestly. “He told her if she married Myles Graham she was never to show her face at his house again. She didn’t. Neither shall I. I have proven I don’t need his assistance to take care of Josephine.”
Griffin searched her eyes. “It’s his responsibility. If you wouldn’t go to him for yourself, why not for Josephine?”
“Because she is my sister.”
A quizzical expression settled on his face. “There’s more that you aren’t telling me, isn’t there?”
“No,” she expelled on choppy breath. Tears threatened again, but she held them at bay. “We may have different fathers, but it matters not to me. I will do everything I need to do to protect her.”
“That has never been in doubt.” His voice had softened. His questioning glance was replaced with concern. “I see how well you care for her, but you didn’t answer my question.”
Holding tightly to her emotions, refusing to let her voice waver, she said, “Josephine knows little about our mother and nothing about her past with the Mayeforth family. I intend to keep it that way.”
“Why?”
Oh, those unwanted tears continued to threaten her. How could she explain to him and not cry? She knew how Griffin persisted when he wanted something. He would be relentless until he had the answers he sought. She had to tell him before his intuitiveness and gentleness made her fall into his arms and weep.
“She loved her father. He was loving to her, wrote poetry for her, read it to her. She wrote poetry until her father’s death. Now, she swears she hates it, and I know it’s just her way of coping with his death. It was difficult for her. I refuse to let Josephine know her mother’s family didn’t approve of him. That, in fact, they called him a wandering Irish poet who would never take care of her. They said she would die penniless and unhappy.” Her voice broke on a sob, which she sucked back quickly. “And the horrible, horrible truth of it is that they were right. My mother was wrong about him.” Her voice broke on the last word.
“Esmeralda.”
“No.”
Griffin reached for her, but she spun away and wiped quickly at the wetness on her cheeks. “No,” she said again, brushing off his concern. If he held her in his arms and pressed her head to his chest, she would start weeping and only heaven knew when she would stop. She cleared her throat, wiped her eyes again, and turned back to face him. “Do not feel sorry for me, or Josephine, or even for my mother. I don’t want Josephine in Society. I don’t want her looked down upon because of who her father was. I don’t have to tell you how unforgiving Society can be.”
“No, you don’t.”
“Do not dismiss me from this post.” Her voice broke again, but she sniffed, shored up her courage, and added, “Not after you begged me to come here.”
Griffin gave her an incredulous stare and moved to stand toe-to-toe with her again. “Begged you?” He lowered his head, bringing his face to where it nearly touched hers. “I beg no one, Esmeralda.”
She leaned away from him. “I could have chosen another word.”
“How about ‘insisted.’”
“You hounded me.”
“I outmanipulated you.”
“You gave into my demands without really putting up much of a fight.”
“I did so willingly, not begrudgingly, and only because it suited me to do so, Esmeralda.”
Why did he always have to have an answer for everything she said? “Nonetheless, we have an arrangement, Your Grace. One that you insisted upon, and I am determined to hold you to it.”
“Those are brave words.”
She had to be. If she lacked the courage to speak now, she was doomed. “I’m sure Lady Norwood has already started spreading the news of who my mothe
r is, but because I am Viscount Mayeforth’s first cousin, I see no reason it will reflect badly on Lady Sara and Lady Vera for me to continue as long as you allow it.”
“That is not the point about this, Esmeralda. You are a lady and shouldn’t be working at all.”
He brushed his hand through his rich, thick hair again.
She had exasperated him, but she couldn’t back down. “I play the cards life dealt me,” she answered, sounding stronger than she felt. “Now, do I have my position here in your household or do I return to the agency tomorrow morning?”
His gaze locked on hers. “I can’t have you in my employ, and it has nothing to do with my sisters.”
“That’s rubbish,” she argued. “You don’t live here. What else could it be? If you find me so objectionable, I can have a separate carriage take me to the evenings’ events.”
“You don’t understand yet, do you?” He leaned his body in close to hers. With his lips just inches from hers, he reached up to pull a pin from her hair and dropped it to the floor.
“What are you doing?”
A low, attractive chuckle whispered past his lips. “Taking down your hair so I can see it.”
Another pin followed the first. Esmeralda wished she had the willpower to jerk away from his touch, but it was as if his hands in her hair had mesmerized her and she couldn’t move. The third pin hit the floor, and several tendrils of hair fell down past her shoulders.
“Don’t you know that the only things I find objectionable about you are that you hide your golden-brown hair in that tight knot at the back of your head and you wear no color other than gray.”
“They are appropriate for me and my station in life.”
“Not anymore. You know I couldn’t kiss you as long as you were part of my household.”
“Only ogres take advantage of their staff in that way.”
Another pin slipped from her chignon, and the length of glass beads she wore in her hair plopped onto the rug at their feet. The duke threaded his fingers through her long tresses as they fell around her shoulders.
