He frowned at me. “Privacy means nothing in the face of safety, Miss Bell. I’m sure your grandmother would agree with me.”
Low blow. One I ignored. “No guards,” I insisted. “Reeve might notice them and start asking more questions.”
He relented. As I’d known he would.
He really did love his daughter.
For the first time, I began to wonder about this man’s life...his past. “The woman you mentioned... The one who had the anxiety disorder... Was she Reeve’s mom?”
“Yes.” His tone was short, clipped, letting me know he’d said all he wanted to say on that subject.
We don’t always get what we want. “Did she know about the zombies? Is that why she was afraid?”
He hammered his elbows into the desk, rattling the entire piece. “Yes, Miss Bell. Yes. She knew about them, but she couldn’t see them, and so she began to imagine them around her every second of every day, and it was more than she could deal with. Finally she killed herself.”
How awful. Poor Mrs. Ankh, to feel death was the only way. Poor Mr. Ankh, left to pick up the pieces. Poor Reeve, a little girl drowning in sorrow and confusion. No wonder he insisted she be kept in the dark. He didn’t want the same fate to befall her. “I’m sorry.”
He waved my sympathy away. “The past is the past, Miss Bell.”
Such easy words to offer—but was he actually living them? “Just so you know, I saw a rabbit cloud in the sky. Zombies could be coming out tonight.”
He arched a brow, saying, “And you want in the rotation.”
I’d told myself I wasn’t ready to see Cole again. I’d even questioned my ability to fight. And still I found myself saying, “I do.” I couldn’t waste an opportunity to slay my enemy.
Mr. Ankh grilled me about my health. Was I feeling okay? Had I had any moments of weakness? Had I had another panic attack?
I answered the first two bluntly but sidestepped the last one. “Look, I was born to kill zombies. So, tonight, that’s exactly what I’m going to do. Whether you’re on board or not. And yes, that’s a threat.”
He grinned at me, but it wasn’t a nice grin. “You can’t do anything if you’re unconscious.”
He would drug me? “Try,” was all I said.
He studied me for a long while before sighing, nodding stiffly. “Fine. You’re determined. I get it. And this time, I’ll let you have your way. You’ll have to hurry, though. The slayers are at Cole’s gym, and rotations are about to be decided for the week.”
Crap. My day with Nana would have to wait. “Slight problem,” I said. “I don’t have a license or a car.”
He released another sigh. “Be ready in five. My driver will be waiting out front.”
“Thanks, Mr. Ankh.” I stood and walked to the door.
“By the way, I wasn’t teasing about the cleaning and the food.”
“I didn’t think you were.” And he would learn I hadn’t been teasing, either. I paused and glanced back at him. “I admire the way you’re protecting Reeve, I do, but all our secrets are hurting her. She’s already suspicious, and those suspicions are making her unhappy. There’s got to be another way.”
“Miss Bell,” he said, slamming his pen on the desk.
I knew a very stern lecture was coming, so I hurried into the hall.
In my room, I changed into battle-ready clothing and gathered everything I’d need. More daggers, a syringe filled with the antidote, a pocketful of throwing stars and my phone.
I tucked the business card the man had given me in the bottom drawer of my desk and saw there was a note resting next to my computer.
I was going through the things that survived the fire, and I found my great-grandfather’s journal. I had given it to your mother years ago. A few of the pages are now singed, but that’s the only damage. I know it’s weird, but I thought you might like to have a family heirloom.
Love, Nana
The journal!
I’d thought it had come from my dad, that he’d given it to my mom. How had my great-great-great-grandfather known to write it? I mean, the ability to see the zombies was passed through genes just as easily as blue eyes, but my mother had never seen them. Neither had Nana.
What could this mean?
No time for puzzles. Right.
But this had to be the surprise Nana had mentioned. And what an amazing surprise it was.
I owed that woman a million hugs.
I didn’t mean to, but I glanced at the vanity mirror as I opened the door. A habit I’d developed after first meeting Cole. I’d always wanted to look my best for him. This time, my reflection caught me completely off guard.
Tick. The girl in the mirror—me!—had her hand lifted and pressed against the glass, as if reaching for me.
Tock. How could... How was... Impossible.
Tick. In a daze, I walked toward her—toward me.
Tock. She never moved. I mean, my reflection never moved.
Tick. I pressed a trembling hand against the coolness of the glass.
Tock. Her hand fell away.
A thousand different thoughts raced through my head.
I’d decided she was real rather than a figment. So...what was she? A part of me?
Another me?
The smudges under her eyes curved and seemed to drip onto her cheeks. A dying me?
Trembling, I swiped a tube of red lipstick from the bathroom and wrote over the glass. Who Are You?
I slammed the lipstick on the vanity surface and marched to the door. As I stepped into the hall, I glanced back. Breath caught in my throat. I read Your Doom.
Running back inside and smearing the words gave me no satisfaction, only increased my shock. Whatever she was, she didn’t like me.
Can’t worry about this right now.
I raced from the room, and this time, I didn’t look back. I wouldn’t think about anything I’d seen, about the change...the change... No! I wouldn’t allow another panic attack to swoop in and carry me away. Mr. Ankh would find out, and I would be banned from the meeting at Cole’s.
I checked the halls. Empty. Good. Reeve must be in her room, and I wasn’t sure where Nana had gone. Even the housekeeper was nowhere to be seen. As promised, the driver was waiting for me at the front door. I sailed past him without a word and buckled into the backseat of the dark sedan. I held my breath as he slid into the driver’s seat. He started the engine. Eased forward.
I exhaled.
Along the way, I checked the sky. The rabbit cloud was still there.
My phone rang, startling me. I recognized the number and experienced a conflicting tide of emotions, from uncertainty to gratitude. “Justin,” I said. “I should have called you. Thank you for helping with the fight and taking what was meant for me.”
“Hey, I owed you.” Then, “How are you, Ali?” His voice was low, as if he wasn’t sure of his welcome and was determined not to spook me.
“I’ve been better.”
He groaned. “Yeah, I’m sorry about that. I’m sorry I bit you. I don’t know what came over me. You were there, and you smelled so good, so clean and pure, and my mouth was watering, and the urge hit me, and it was so strong, so intense, I couldn’t fight it.” The words spilled from him with barely a breath. “I didn’t want to fight it.”
Some of what he’d said really jelled with me. A clean, pure scent. An unwillingness to fight. An unquenchable hunger. “Has anything else happened to you since that night?”
A crackling pause that set my nerves on edge. “Like what?”
Yeah, like I was really going to confide in him. “You tell me,” I said, using a tactic Cole had once used on me.
Cole. I ran my tongue over my teeth.
I had to stop thinking about him.
“To be honest, I’ve been normal,” Justin said. “Nothing’s happened. To me, at least,” he added. “I’m guessing something’s happening with you, though.”
The brakes on the car squeaked, and I peeked out the windo
w to see we’d reached our destination. So soon?
“I have to go,” I said.
“Don’t want to talk about it?”
“I’m kind of busy.” And yes.
Another pause. “We’ll talk again, though?” he asked, hesitant.
“Yeah. I think so.”
I hung up and stepped into the cold of the evening. The sun would soon disappear, and the moon would take its place, full and golden in the sky. Even though darkness had yet to fall, the path to the barn was lit by small halogens meant to discourage any zombies from drawing near.
I used the code on the ID pad to open the door. Before our breakup, when I’d come here and he hadn’t, Cole had finally broken down and given me the “key.” I pushed my way inside, only to discover the meeting was already in full swing. A chair had been carried to the center of the boxing ring, where Cole was perched.
Veronica sat in his lap.
His arm was wrapped around her waist.
The girl was relaxed against him, completely at ease, as if she had no doubts about her reception.
Cole was disheveled, but also perfectly at ease. As if they’d messed around before settling down, and he’d never been happier.
The details hit me like bullets, one at a time, fast and sure. He’d always liked touching me. Sifting the ends of my hair through his fingers. Ghosting his knuckles across my jaw. Pulling me into the hard line of his body for a kiss. Seeing him act that way with someone else...
Pain? Yes, I felt pain. Betrayal? Jealousy? Yes, I felt those, too. Felt them so deeply I wasn’t sure how I remained on my feet—or out of that ring. I think a part of me had hoped he would eventually come crawling back to me, no matter what I’d told him. No matter what I’d told my friends. But he wasn’t going to, was he? We were done, just as he’d said. Just as I’d agreed. Only he’d already moved on.
Breathe. Just breathe.
I wouldn’t freak out over this.
I’d come here to do a job. So I would do it.
I switched my focus. The rest of the crew leaned against the ropes. Frosty, Bronx, Mackenzie, Derek, Trina, Lucas, Collins, Cruz and Gavin, each hard bodied and dressed in black, ready for action. No one seemed to care that Cole—a guy who had only split from me a short while ago—had already forgotten about me.
Okay, so I hadn’t exactly switched my focus.
Threads of fury joined an already toxic mix of emotions, whooshing through me. This wasn’t right. This wasn’t fair. How could he do this to me? Was he trying to punish me for the vision I’d had? A vision I couldn’t control? A vision I wouldn’t allow to come true?
No. This wasn’t for my benefit and wasn’t a punishment. He hadn’t known I would show up. This was for him. He wanted that girl in his lap.
My hands fisted. I’d been wrong about his sense of honesty. He’d lied to me.
I remembered what he’d said to me.
Me: Do you want Veronica?
Him: No. Not even a little.
Liar! I longed to shout.
How easy it would be to stalk into the ring, sink my teeth into his spirit and—
His spirit?
Oh, good glory. Was I thinking like the zombies now?
I raised my chin, squared my shoulders. I’d rather die.
I forced myself to concentrate for real.
“—report every detail,” Cole was saying. “I don’t just want to hear that you survived the night, or that you did or didn’t see any zombies. I’m not kidding, I want every detail. In writing. From all of you. Two partners can’t turn in one report. I want two from two, and I want you to write them separately. After what happened to Justin and Ali, I’m in an information-gathering mood.” Shadows and light battled for dominance on his face, giving him a sinister bent. “Got me?”
He scanned the murmuring crowd, bypassed me and quickly returned. Guilt flashed in his eyes, only to be extinguished, leaving the cold, blank mask. He stood, forcing Veronica to stand as well, and dropped his arms to his sides. She remained only a whisper away and frowned when she noticed me.
I held Cole’s gaze, again not expecting a vision, but wanting one—no, I didn’t want one, shouldn’t want one, but...
It never came.
Disappointment grew wings of sharply honed iron and flew through every inch of me, cutting at me.
Cole cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable.
Don’t give him a reaction.
He looked away. “From now on,” he said, voice harder now, harsher, “if your partner gets bitten, administer the antidote the moment you’re able. Don’t wait until the fight is over. And if your partner bites you, don’t try to hide it from us. We’re not going to blame him.”
“Or her,” Mackenzie called, and snapped her teeth.
“Now you’re just giving the girls permission to take a nibble anytime, anyplace,” Frosty retorted. “I’ve got enough trouble keeping them off me as it is.”
Chuckles resounded.
I couldn’t force myself to laugh.
“You know who your partners are,” Cole said, “and where you’ve been placed in the schedule. Do what you have to do to get ready.”
The group broke apart; some kids were to walk the streets, hunting zombies; some were to go home and rest, catch up on schoolwork; some were to stay here and guard the bodies of the slayers, also waiting in case backup was needed.
Veronica rose on her tiptoes and whispered in Cole’s ear.
The fury returned, expanded, but I managed to calmly say, “What about me?” and step up to the ring.
All eyes darted in my direction.
“Ali Bo Bali,” Frosty said, throwing his arm over my shoulder. “I didn’t think we’d see you tonight.”
I appreciated the show of support.
“What about you?” Cole replied, hesitant.
Steady. “I want in.”
A muscle ticked below his eye as he approached me. “After what happened today? No.”
“What happened today?” Veronica asked, coming over to rest her head on his shoulder. Staking a claim? Digging the knife deeper?
If anyone told her what I’d gone through...
Cole eased away from her and massaged the back of his neck, a habit of his. Right now he was more than uncomfortable. He was discombobulated.
Good.
“You’re injured,” he said.
“I’m healed. Besides that, others have fought injured and you never complained.”
“Others have had more training. And why do you have bandages on your wrists?”
He’d noticed them, even though I wore long sleeves?
Trying to control my sudden trembling, I pulled the bandages off for good. My skin was more reddened than before, and far more swollen, but the ink was still pretty.
Veronica leaned toward me, shrugged. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but those are too big for your bone structure.”
There was a right way to take that? I knew the tattoos were beautiful and just the right size for me.
I wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of a response.
No, that wasn’t true. I would. “I’m seconds away from giving you a brand-new bone structure.”
She blinked at me as if I was missing a few screws. “I’ve been nothing but nice to you, and you want a go at me?”
That was nice?
“I think the tattoos are perfect.” Cole stepped between us. His narrowed gaze roved over me, lingered in a few select places. I had to fight a shiver. “Tattoos. New hair. New makeup. I didn’t notice it before. You were too wet. I’m noticing now.”
“Wet?” Veronica said, the word almost strangled out of her. “Wet how?”
Scowling, Cole pushed her toward the rings. “Go. Now.”
I kind of wished the floor would open up and swallow me.
She flicked me a confused glance over her shoulder but did as he’d commanded and left us alone.
Getting back on track. He had a problem with my makeover? “Are you say
ing I’m eye broccoli?”
Frosty barked out a laugh. “Where do girls get this stuff, man?”
“I’m not even sure what eye broccoli means,” Cole said. “That you look bad, and I shouldn’t want to eat you, or that you’re loaded with vitamins and I should.”
Kill me.
Please.
“That I look bad,” I gritted.
“You don’t. You never have.” Cole lifted my wrists and traced his thumb around the designs. When he realized what he was doing, he scowled and dropped his arms. “So. Tell me. Why’d you make all these changes?”
Changes.
The C word overshadowed any pleasure I might have taken from his compliment...his touch. What would change tonight? Tomorrow?
Both hearts sped up, and my nasal passages seemed to clog with cotton.
“Easy, now,” Frosty said.
Cole released my arms to cup my cheeks. “Breathe, Ali. Just like that. In and out. Good girl.”
The moment I calmed, I pulled out of Cole’s hold and shrugged away from Frosty’s. Another rush of embarrassment washed through me. I couldn’t allow myself to rely on these guys in any way.
“What was that about?” Cole asked.
“To answer your other question, the only one I’ll acknowledge,” I said tightly, “I made a few improvements. I wanted to look hot for the night my vision with Gavin comes true.”
Direct hit—a shocker. Cole flinched, even paled. “You were hot the way you were,” he said, staring deep into my eyes. “Whatever you think of me, whatever’s happened between us, that was never up for debate.”
Pretty words, nothing more, and yet the air between us charged, just like before, becoming electric with awareness. Every nerve ending in my body perked up, waiting for...something. Another visual caress. A hand on my shoulder. The nudge of his knee. Anything.
He backed up a few steps, and the charge fizzled. I could still smell his scent, though, soap and something woodsy, a hint of the animal he could sometimes be. Rough, wild, untamed. But underneath it all was the scent of roses...Veronica’s scent.
Maybe I’d consume both their spirits.
“Did you really do all this for Gavin?”
His tone was dead. As if he didn’t care.
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