by Raquel Dove
“Me either,” Gabrielle said, looking down, her voice soft.
“You’ve had a difficult day,” he said. He didn’t say anything more, but she could hear the condolence in his voice.
“What’s your excuse?” she asked, attempting to lighten the mood some.
“I’ve had a difficult day,” he said very matter-of-factly. She felt stupid for saying it now. Of course he had a difficult day. She had learned a lot since she first came here, and though Generals were the highest ranking members of the Death Angel Society, they were also the most stressed and overworked. It wasn’t easy being in charge of everything.
“I’m sorry,” she said, shaking her head and looking at the ground. She didn’t know what else to say.
“I should be apologizing,” he said. Her eyes shot up to his at the unexpected admission. “I was…unnecessarily cruel to you. It was my own…”
His words trailed off and he shook his head. He didn’t say anything more and Gabrielle’s attention turned back to the pile of files that she had dropped. They were spilled all over the ground.
“I…I’m so sorry,” she said, realizing what a mess she had made. “I meant to get these put away. Now I’ve just made more work…I’m sure Kaia is going to really hate me for this.”
“You don’t need to worry about Kaia anymore,” he said, taking a step further into the room. She felt her heart hammering harder against her chest as he stepped closer, his eyes locked on her. “I fired her.”
Gabrielle didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know why he was even telling her this. She wouldn’t be working for him for much longer anyway, so it wasn’t like it really mattered.
“Oh,” she said, wanting to fill the silence as he continued to move towards her and not knowing what else to say. She bent down and started collecting the files, trying to straighten them out the best she could. He bent down, his knees almost touching hers, as he began to help her. They reached for the same file and his hand suddenly grabbed hers. She felt electricity shooting through her as his skin connected with hers. Her eyes looked up to see his dark troubled ones staring into her. He had that same odd look in his eyes as he held her hand in his for a long moment.
“Gabrielle,” he finally spoke and the affection in his voice was undeniable. She was a little taken aback by it. Not just because he so rarely showed any emotion, but by how deeply he seemed to hurt when he said her name.
“Mr. Black—“
“Don’t…” he shook his head, his eyes looking away from her for a split moment. “I want you to call me Sebastian.”
He had such a hopeful look in his eyes and Gabrielle didn’t know what to say or think. He straightened and, still holding her hand, led her to do the same. She had remembered the one time Ms. Blankenship had said his first name. It was so intimate, and so wrong. She had lost her job for that, and the only other people Gabrielle ever remembered calling him Sebastian were other Generals.
“I don’t know what you want from me,” she blurted out, unable to think of anything else. Her emotions were already too raw from her ordeal with Kasen to try and dissect what it was that he wanted. He dropped her hand and looked away from her. She could see him mentally struggling with something. Finally, he took a deep breath and looked back at her.
“I suppose you’ve been lied to enough,” he said and she fought to not wince at the pain of those words. She didn’t want to think anymore about Kasen tonight. “And while I haven’t lied to you, I suppose I haven’t told you the entire truth.”
He grew silent for a moment as he stared down at her with a strange yearning look in his eyes. Gabrielle thought for a second that he was waiting for her to say something, but finally he spoke again.
“I was married once. She was…she was beautiful, strong, compassionate. I loved her more than I ever thought was possible for a person to love. Unfortunately, she wasn’t accepted into any ranks when she graduated from the Academy. I knew she would be doomed to a miserable existence, scraping to get by in the squalor of the lower sector. I couldn’t let that happen. Though my parents had already arranged my marriage with another noble, I refused the union. I married the love of my life and for a time we were very happy, even if those around us disapproved. But nothing lasts forever, unfortunately. Only a few years after we had married, she became sick. The illness took her from me later that year.”
Gabrielle could see the deep hurt in his eyes as he spoke. She didn’t know what to say to him. She didn’t know what she could say to him. I’m sorry just didn’t seem like it would do him justice.
“What does any of that have to do with me?” she asked, trying to sound as sensitive as she could. She didn’t want him to think that she didn’t care. She just didn’t understand why he was telling her all of this.
“It’s not often that we get a second life in the Death Angel Society,” he said his eyes turning hopeful. “But when I saw you, standing here in my office, I knew.”
“Wait,” Gabrielle shook her head, trying to understand what he was saying.
“You look exactly like her,” he said, lifting his hand to run his finger along the side of her hairline, “Right down to this exact strand of highlight in your hair, and this same group of freckles just beside your ear.”
His fingers had moved to her jaw and he ran them along it, sending a wave of warmth crashing over her. They stopped just beneath her chin, lifting it up so that she could look at him more fully. His body was so close to hers that he could feel his clothing brushing against hers.
“But,” she pulled away from him, taking a step back so she could clear her mind a bit. “How do you…I mean, you don’t know…I’m not your wife. I can’t be—“
“No,” he said, cutting her off with a soft voice. “I know you’re not.”
Gabrielle shook her head, looking away from him. She didn’t want to say what she was thinking right now. It hurt too much. Everything that he had done, the way he looked at her, when he kissed her, it was all because he thought that she was his wife, reincarnated in some weird way back to the Death Angel Society.
“I know that you’re not my wife, and yet,” he spoke again, surprising her. She looked up at him, expecting to see his expression back to a blank mask, but he still looked at her with a smoldering desire. “I don’t care.”
“I…I don’t understand,” she said, her eyebrows pulling together in confusion.
“I thought, for a time that you might be,” he said. “It’s true. That is why I took you on as my assistant. But I fairly quickly discovered that you are nothing like her.”
“Oh,” she said, looking away from him again. The words actually hurt her to hear. She didn’t know why, she didn’t want to be his dead wife. But the way he had spoken about her was so sweet, so reverent. It wasn’t comforting to hear that she was nothing like her.
“But it doesn’t matter,” he said. “That’s not…that’s not why I kissed you, Gabrielle.”
“Why did you kiss me?” she said, looking back up at him.
“My wife died nearly a century ago,” he said, taking a step closer to her and bringing his body unbearably close to hers again. “In all that time, I have never thought of another woman, until I met you. Yes, at first I thought that you may be her, but…I know you’re not, and it doesn’t change the way that I have come to feel about you.”
“But,” Gabrielle had to remind herself to breath. His presence was erotically suffocating. “You don’t really know anything about me.”
“I know,” he said, taking a step back and giving her some relief. “Which is why I understand what I am going to say next, what I want to ask you, may not be well received.”
“I am the head of a noble family,” he continued, “I have no heir. That simply isn’t acceptable for who I am, who my family is. As I’ve said, I haven’t been able to think of another woman since my wife died.” He paused, his eyes looking momentarily away from hers. For just a split second, Gabrielle thought she saw him look almost vulnerable. “I want you to b
e my wife, Gabrielle.”
She was stunned. She opened her mouth, wanting to say something, but she quickly shut it. What could she possibly say to that? Part of her was flattered. She knew that in spite of his reputation as a boss, Sebastian was one of the most desired bachelors in all of the Death Angel Society. But his proposal hadn’t exactly been terribly romantic. Sure, the notion that he was apparently infatuated enough with her to forget about his dead wife was…sweet in a way. But ‘marry me so I can put a baby in you’ certainly wasn’t her idea of romantic. But more than any of that, she was just caught so off guard.
“Why were you so mean to me?” she asked, still not able to find an answer for his proposal. He sighed and appeared to be thinking over his words for a moment.
“I knew that you were happy with Kasen,” he said with a shrug. “I respect him, and I knew that he would treat you well. I suppose it was just my misguided attempts at distancing myself from you. But…I just thought you deserved to know everything.”
“Oh,” Gabrielle said, not knowing what else to say to him.
“I will give you time,” he said, and when she looked back up at him, his mask of indifference was back in place. He turned away from her and stepped towards the door. “There is no need to come in to work anymore. If I never see you again, I will have your answer.”
He left the office, leaving Gabrielle still stunned by his admission and his proposal.
Chapter Twenty Six
Gabrielle’s head was spinning. She had been utterly flattered by Mr. Black’s proposal the night before, but in all honesty she hadn’t really considered it all that much. She didn’t know what there was to consider. Whenever she was around him, he had this way of clouding her mind, of making her flustered and turning her stomach into knots when he looked at her the way he did. But she loved Kasen. Even though he hadn’t been entirely honest with her.
She wasn’t even in a terrible rush to get married, but with her situation the way it was, she realized that it would be the best thing for her. If she went back and had to go through the Academy, there was no guarantee that she would make it through. And even if she did, it would be a hard life for her. Even harder than her life was now.
She flopped back onto her bed and let out a huge sigh. How was the afterlife so damned complicated? She had paced around her apartment for the better part of the morning, really not knowing what to do with herself. She wouldn’t be here for much longer, whatever the outcome of her life, but as she looked around, she realized how much she would actually miss the place. It had really become her home over the last few weeks. She checked the little screen that sat on the desk in her living room. There were no messages and she started to chew on the side of her thumb. She had messaged Kasen again last night before she went to bed. After Mr. Black’s proposal, she knew she had to speak to him. She had expected him to answer her by the time she woke up, but there was still no response. Now it was in the early afternoon, and he still hadn’t messaged her back. She debated on whether or not to message him again, but she finally decided against it. If he hadn’t answered all the other messages, he wouldn’t answer this one.
Finally she decided she’d had enough waiting. She would just go over to his home and talk to him. This sort of thing was better done face to face anyway.
She started to get herself dressed when she heard a loud knocking on her front door. Her heart soared as she raced to answer it, thinking that it must be Kasen. She was only mildly disappointed to find Aracella standing there. She offered her a small smile that told Gabrielle that she had heard about everything that had happened.
“So…I guess you know what’s going on?” Gabrielle said, forcing a small smile back at her.
“Are you kidding?” Aracella said with a half laugh. “You’re the talk of the Death Angel Society. Dating two Generals, that sort of things goes around pretty quick.”
“I’m…I’m not,” Gabrielle shook her head. She just didn’t have the strength to voice the truth of her situation. She sighed heavily and stepped to the side. “Do you wanna come in?”
“I know,” Aracella said, stepping into her place and putting a hand gently on her arm. “I was just trying to lighten the mood. I know what’s going on. My brother pretty much filled me in.”
“Great,” Gabrielle said with heavy sarcasm. She walked over to the couch in the living room and plopped down on it. Aracella joined her, sitting right beside her.
“He thought you could use a bit of company,” she said. Gabrielle didn’t really know what to say to that. She hadn’t thought that she wanted company, but now that Aracella was here, she realized how nice it felt to have someone she could talk to.
“Look,” Aracella said, seeing the troubled expression on Gabrielle’s face. “I know you’ve been through a lot, and this is kinda a messed up situation. But it’ll get better. I promise. Besides, there are worst things than having to choose between two of the most eligible men in all the Death Angel Society.”
“Did you know?” Gabrielle asked, looking up at Aracella.
“Know what?”
“Did you know all along? Did you know who he thought I was?” Gabrielle asked. She wasn’t mad at the thought of it. She supposed of all the things that had been kept from her, this would probably be the least of it.
“No,” she said, shaking her head. “I knew that he had feelings for you. Not because he told me, but more just a guess based on the way he was treating you. I know Sebastian, and it wasn’t exactly in character for him.
“His wife died when I was just a baby. I never got to meet her. But I do know how much he loved her,” she continued. She cocked her head to the side as she looked back at Gabrielle. “So, are you considering his proposal at all?”
“Did he send you to ask me that?”
“No,” she said with a little chuckle. “I was just curious. I’ve honestly never seen my brother like this before. He really cares about you.”
“It’s just so weird,” Gabrielle said, hugging her arms around herself. “I mean, I barely even know him. Hell, I barely even know Kasen. And apparently even less than I thought I did.”
Aracella laughed a little and placed her hand on Gabrielle’s shoulder, trying to lighten her up a bit. “I know it’s all kind of strange. Things just sort of work that way here. You’ll get used to it.”
“I guess so,” Gabrielle shrugged and looked away. Maybe this was like everything else here seemed to be. With a little bit of time it all became second nature.
“Sebastian asked me to come see you,” Aracella said, her tone turning a bit more serious. “But I wanna talk to you as a girl to another girl.”
“Okay,” she said, turning a bit so that she was facing Aracella more fully.
“I’m sure you know that it’s odd for someone from the Light Ranks to see someone from the Dark Ranks,” she started. “And there is a reason for that. To be honest, I’m not surprised that you and General Kasen got so close so fast, especially since you’ve been assessed as being part of the light ranks.”
“Yeah,” Gabrielle said, her face pulled a bit tight. “That was the weirdest test I’ve ever taken.”
Aracella laughed lightly again and fixed her with a knowing look. “I know, right? But it’s not so much about the answers you give, it’s more about how you take the test. How you react to it. That’s why they watch you so close when you take it.”
“Oh,” Gabrielle said. It sort of made sense now that Aracella explained it to her. “But I don’t really get it. With the Light Ranks and Dark Ranks things. What’s the big deal? I mean I know the jobs are different and all, but they both essentially work towards the same end.”
“Well, yes,” Aracella said, speaking carefully, “but it’s a bit more complicated than that. And, while I would like nothing more than to have you as my sister in law, and I want so badly for my brother to be happy, I think you should forget about his proposal.”
“Why?” Gabrielle asked, and she knew the word came out soun
ding more hurt than she wanted it to.
Aracella took a deep breath and looked up to the ceiling as she spoke. “Gabrielle, we are chosen for the Dark Ranks for a reason. We are fighters. The sight of blood has never bothered us. Fear isn’t really something that we experience. We are just…different from the Light Ranks, and we all have a darker side.”
“I still don’t understand why that would make you tell me to refuse his proposal,” Gabrielle said. She sat back into the couch. Everything was just so confusing and jumbled in her mind. She wished she could wipe everything away, like the details of her life had been wiped away.
“I just…” Aracella shook her head, then looked up at Gabrielle with a smile. “You know what? Forget about it. I was just talking.”
Gabrielle wanted to press her more, she could see that there was something she was leaving unsaid. Something about the way she had said that they all have a dark side made her skin tingle a little bit.
“To be honest,” Gabrielle said, “I wasn’t really planning on saying yes. I mean, I sort of already accepted Kasen, so…”
“I know,” Aracella said, patting her on the arm. “But I’m sure it just makes things a bit more confusing, and I was just trying to help it be less confusing for you.”
“Thanks,” Gabrielle said, smiling back at Aracella. She really had felt like talking to her had made her feel better. Nothing in her life had been resolved, but just talking to someone else made her feel like it eventually would be.
“I should get going,” Aracella said, “It looks like I caught you as you were heading out anyway.”
“Yeah,” she said, looking down at her clothes. They were all black, so they matched in color, but it was clearly a hastily put together outfit.
Gabrielle showed Aracella out the door and left shortly there after. She oddly felt much better now about talking to Kasen. Talking to Aracella had made her feel better about turning down Mr. Black. She hadn’t realized it, but the idea was causing her some hesitation. Now that she knew she would do it, she felt like a little bit of weight was gone from her shoulders.
