by Hera August
"You… saved me," she croaks, fighting to keep her eyes from closing. She smiles weakly at him, her eyes slipping shut. "I knew you'd… come… for me, Judas..." He feels sheer terror clutch his heart when her head rolls to the side.
"Belle? Belle?! C’mon, Belle, wake up!" he pleads. "Belle, don't you dare leave me," he orders, his voice rough with grief. “I should’ve never let you go.” He presses his fingers to the pulse-point on her neck, squeezing his eyes shut, praying.
He hadn't been able to protect her. He'd been forced to stand there and watch as that scum-of-the-earth hurt her. Judas feels a hot tear fall down his face. He’d been so powerless. The terrified, trapped look, she'd had on her face haunts him. Belle’s eyes had pleaded with him to do something—anything—to save her.
Just like his mother had done…
It can’t end like this. Not again. Not like this!
“You can’t leave, Belle. I can’t lose you too,” he whispers, against the softness of her hair. It smells of strawberries. Of innocence and kindness.
Belle’s the sweet in his life; she dissolves the bitterness inside him.
Loving her had been unavoidable. It’s just the consequences of his love that he never understood. Falling for her had been devastating enough, but the thought of losing her forever, that is just plain unbearable. If they aren’t meant to be together, then why did Fate have to be so cruel to give him a taste of what their love could be? Looking at her then, he gets it; his heart is truly breaking.
“I’ll die if I lose you.” He feels her pulse beneath his fingers and the air caught in his throat exhales deeply. Belle is going to survive this. She isn’t going anywhere.
“Olivia…” she whispers. His heart leaps, his chest tightens. “She… she was your mother.”
Judas closes his eyes, feeling the ice melting, seeing the dreadful memories of the night that burned his very soul; the pain, the anger, all contained inside, with nowhere to run and nowhere to hide
Except with Belle.
Opening his eyes, a tear falls. “I miss her, Belle. I miss her so much.” He has never spoken about his mother to anyone. Ever.
Judas feels like he’s just opened the door to his soul with his dying angel.
Belle has to live; he wants to give more of himself to her, like never before.
“I should have saved her…” he murmurs. “It was all my fault, Belle.”
“No it wasn’t…”
“You don’t understand… I… I let her out. I wasn’t supposed to let her out…” His voice is barely above a whisper.
“Judas…”
“My dad locked my mom inside the house. She was never allowed out. One day she begged me to show her the stars. She wanted to go outside. I thought… I thought it would be okay… but he found us… He found us and then he killed her to punish me… It was all my fault…” The heart-wrenching agony of that day consumes his body and tears flow down his cheeks, unrelenting.
“No… No, don’t blame yourself for what your father did… No matter what… You’re beautiful, Judas… So… beautiful… I have to look away from you sometimes… like you’re… not real.”
Nearly breaking apart, he finds courage from within her words. “I’ve tried… tried to forgive myself for not saving her but… the things I’ve done since then…”
Coughing, she replies, “You’ve more than made up for any past mistakes with me.”
“I was wrong.”
“You’re never wrong.” She smiles, but Judas can see that she’s in so much pain.
She’s dying.
God, he loves Belle so much it hurts. He loves how strong she’s been through every hardship she’s suffered. Her beauty holds no boundaries. He can’t help but smile at her strength, though it fades quickly as his features turn dark once more.
Judas feels like he’s about to burst out of his skin. She hasn’t moved in the past minute, her breathing quiet. His face is set in stone and his eyes, his ears, his mind, and his heart, all lock to her.
The attic is bathed in the soft glow of the moonlight that clings to the floor around her. Dust particles twinkle like falling stars on top of them, and his heart clenches in his chest when he realizes she’s wearing his silver cross.
The one his mother had given to him.
Every day, since it’s been missing, it’s pained him that he’d lost it. But looking down, seeing it glimmer around Belle’s neck, the cross is exactly where it belongs.
As he takes in the sight of her, it gnaws at him, slowly, painfully inside. Bruises cover her. Her wrists are red and swollen. His eyes travel over her, catching on to where the knife pierces her heart.
Beauty dying beneath him.
And there’s nothing he can do.
He wants to kill Emmett Irving all over again. But he's dead. He can never hurt Belle again. Judas closes his eyes for a second, taking a deep breath. But his mind tortures him with images of Belle being stabbed, reliving the horror again, and he opens them immediately.
Her eyes gradually open, their brimming with fear as though for a moment she believes she’s still trapped in the attic with Emmett. Alone.
“It’s okay, Belle, I’m here. He’s gone. He can’t hurt you anymore. I promise, I won’t let anyone hurt you,” he soothes, gently stroking the side of her face.
"Judas…"
Bending his head down, his lips brush across her forehead. "It's just me, Little Bit." He wants to touch her all over, to make sure she really is breathing, really is alive. He wants to see the vanilla return to her skin, the familiar shade of rose to come back to her lips.
A heart-wrenching sob rips from her throat, "Judas?" Her voice moves him, breaks him. He makes a sound deep in his chest as he watches what little color remains drain from her. The darkness of the attic merging with the brightness of the moonlight, almost makes her appear like a ghost.
Even in death, Belle is breathtakingly beautiful.
But he refuses to let her go.
Judas will fight Death himself to keep her alive.
“Emmett—”
“He’s dead.” The fear vanishes from Belle’s eyes as soon as they look up at him, and it’s replaced with something so intense, it shakes him to the core. He watches her eyes spark for a second before sadness consumes her.
“I… I thought I lost you,” he says, the words choking out amidst the anguish as his body starts to tremble and his legs shake. He moves his hand from her hair and adjusts the blanket on her. Her hand comes up and brushes along his neck, cupping the curve of his jaw. He fights the emotions that assault him, the ones that have been plaguing him since he watched her fall to the attic floor.
He should be the one to die. Not his Belle.
When his eyes meet hers again, he sees the tears reflected there, the pain, the sorrow, the grief. He leans down, kisses her softly on the lips, taking her quaking ones with his own, giving in to the desire that curls up inside of him.
"You came back… for me," she whispers, as he pulls away. Christ, he loves that angelic voice of hers. Warmth fills his stomach, even despite it sounding coarse and low.
“Help’s coming, Belle. You’re gonna be okay. But you have to hold on. Just hold on. Please.”
“I don't need anyone… but you, Judas.”
“I’m no good for you.” His voice trails off and his face falls to the side, turning away from her, feeling more tears invading his eyes. “You deserve the world.”
What the fuck is wrong with me?
He needs to be strong. For Belle’s sake.
"I'm okay, Judas… When you’re with me… I'm always going to be okay," she says, tenderly. “Emmett… he was from my world... Don’t you get it?”
"I left to keep you safe," he whispers, the emotions inside of him too much to bear. "But I left you all alone and…" The guilt begins to consume him and he can’t see a way out from the hell that churns inside his head. “If I hadn’t left you…” he murmurs, as he brings her hand that still caresses hi
m to his lips, his words quiet against her soft skin. “…If I’d kept you safe from the start you wouldn’t have gotten hurt.”
“No,” she says, coughing. Judas doesn’t like the sound of her coughs becoming more violent, more rough. “No… Judas… don’t take this on yourself… This is… my fault. I—” Belle starts to cough harder. He lays her hand back to her side, clasping it with his. "Don't... Don't make me bite you, Judas Bane," she manages to say, squeezing his hand. "He didn’t rape me because of you... I’m still here… because of you."
“Even after everything that’s happened, you’re still amazing,” he says, shaking his head slightly, his half smile failing to hide the misery that drowns his eyes.
Sorrow tinges her face. "I… God, Judas, you think… you think staying out of my life is… going to keep me safe but I need you to keep me safe,” she says, almost angry with him. Her eyelids fall halfway, but she fights to keep them open. God, he loves the fight in her. “Don’t leave me," she says, her voice barely audible. And then her eyes finally close. "Don't leave me again, Judas… Don’t ever leave me again… You’re my world…”
Her body goes limp. Her chest stops rising and falling. He can’t hear her breathing. He can’t feel her hand holding on to him anymore.
“No… No, Belle, please, I need you. I can’t live without you… I can’t…” He no longer cares to keep his emotions hidden from the world. Tears stream down his face as he realizes…
He is losing his Little Bit.
Looking down at how fragile Belle looks underneath him, something clicks inside of him.
Right here, in the attic, he had been the one dying. She not only saved his life that night, out of the kindness of her own heart, but she saved him from the demons of his past, and his future.
He finally has the answer he’s been searching for.
“I’m never gonna leave you, Belle. You hear me? Never. I was wrong when I said you could never be a part of my world.” He brushes his lips against her forehead and whispers, “How can that be true… when you’re a part of me?” Her eyes don’t open and his heart sinks. “Belle? Belle, did you hear me? Wake up. Don’t fall asleep on me, you have to stay awake. Wake up, Belle!” Belle’s breaths come in tiny gasps and her eyes open slowly. A shiver courses through his spine as relief washes through him. “I’m giving it all up,” he says, quickly, wanting her to know how he feels before it’s too late. “The money, my title—all of it. I don’t care about any of it. I only care about you… Just you.”
“Wh-Why?” He can feel her body getting colder and colder by the minute.
“Isn’t that what you do when you love someone, Belle? You make sacrifices for them,” he says, quoting her. He strokes the swell that rises on her cheek. He loves the way her eyes light up like two emerald jewels in sunlight.
“When my mom died…”
The pain he suffered the day he watched his own mother beaten and strangled to death at the hands of his father, it all comes flooding back to him, and for a second, he thinks he can’t go on. But when he looks down at his beautiful, brave, Belle—he feels he can do anything.
For Belle. Anything.
“All I’ve ever done is look for the wrong in the world. But with you, Belle—with you, all I want is to look for the right.” He watches her lips part just a little, but enough for his eyes to twinkle in return. “So fight this; stay with me. Because I’m damn-well not going anywhere this time.” He squeezes her hand, scorning himself for having let her go in the first place. “I’m never letting you go. You’re mine.”
Nothing compares to Belle Dela Cruz.
Judas needs to give her a reason to fight, to not fall into an endless sleep. Smiling down at her, Judas pours his heart out. "We're both messed-up, Little Bit. But in our own twisted way, doesn’t that mean we’re meant to be with one another?"
He feels like everything is going to be okay when he sees the answer in her beautiful eyes. His heart is running wild, and for a second, he wants to lean in and kiss her with all his heart. But he settles for smiling at her, content she is close by. Close to him.
“If I don't… make this—”
“Don't say that, Belle. You’re gonna make it through this. You’re a fighter. So just hold on a little longer. For me. Can you do that? Just hold on, Belle.” The circle of moonlight around them begins to fade as a dark cloud begins to move across the Moon.
Where the hell is that ambulance?!
“Judas… just know… I want you to know… I don't regret a single moment with you…”
“Neither do I,” he replies, his whole center falling at the seams as her hand falls limp in his hand.
“You think… we… can make it?” Her eyes remain shut when she speaks. She’s losing consciousness.
“You and me against the world, Little Bit. We can do anything.”
“Where… will we go?” Her voice is so faint, he can barely hear her.
“Somewhere… far and light,” he murmurs, as the moonlight diminishes from the attic.
“I love you… Judas… Never stop saving me…”
“I love you, too, Belle,” he says, whisper soft, into the darkness. “Never stop saving me.”
Chapter Forty-Six
Nearly a year later...
SHE MADE SURE TO ORDER IT IN WHITE.
White on her, for some reason, it drives Judas crazy.
Belle adjusts the straps on her halter dress, the one with the crossover bust and empire waist. It fits like a glove over her body accentuating every curve. There are satin diagonal inserts that flow from just under her bust and the dress hits slightly above her knees. The back is made up of crisscross straps and a cut-out oval shape dips just above her buttocks.
Belle's always kept in shape by running, but since attending Judas’ strict regime of one-to-one self-defense classes, which almost always end with steamy shower sex, her body has tightened-up in all the right places and she’s never felt so sexy in her life.
Entering the cage-lift, she exits the top-level apartment floor of the warehouse conversion she and Judas share together. It's not a luxurious mansion that Judas would be used to, but it's their first home and they both treasure it. She especially adores painting on the balcony, looking out on the view of the harbor and the open water. It's a stark difference to painting in a dark attic, hidden away. Now she paints out in the open for all to see. Judas loves to watch her paint, but then again, he loves to watch her do other things in the privacy of their bedroom too. And she loves to be watched by Judas.
The lift passes the main floor: Bane’s Boxing and MMA Gym. Judas has worked hard at building his highly-successful business from the bottom-up with help from Tate.
The lift finally stops at the basement and she steps out into the rowdy crowd. The place is rammed pact. They're here for one reason.
To see Bane—the number one favorite to win—fight in the quarter-finals of the Spartan Championships.
One of Judas’ security guards greets Belle and escorts her over to the VIP area, forcing the crowd to part like the sea. She doesn’t know why there are a thousand butterflies fluttering around in her stomach. She doesn’t understand this queasy feeling. She’s been with him numerous times before and tonight will be no different.
But tonight is a special occasion. It marks exactly one year since the night Judas broke into her home and took refuge in her hiding place.
Belle smiles to herself. Tonight is going to be different. She knows she is crazy about him. She loves this man, she lives for this man, she would die for this man, and she’s going to spend the rest of her life with this man.
Belle hasn't seen him for seven days, and one day without him, feels like a hundred. But a leading agency interested in signing him had flown him and his manager, Tate, across the country. He'd rung her as soon as the deal to a million-dollar sponsorship was signed and sealed.
The future looks bright for Judas and she can't wait to see him shine and share that with him. She herself just sat
her last exam for the semester at one of the most prestigious colleges in Canada for medicine, where she’s ranked in the top five students of her year. It seems they have a lot of reasons to celebrate tonight.
A sudden eruption of a thunderous roar disrupts her thoughts and her eyes dart to the other side of the boxing arena. Judas finally graces the crowd with his rock-god presence. The assemblage begin screaming and jumping as he struts his way to the ring. His long tight body is pact full of lean muscle and her blood simmers as her eyes settle on his bulging biceps. A hot, wild shiver tickles her very center knowing he is all hers and she will have her own private showing tonight.
His dark eyes scan the crowd and even though she isn’t yelling for him like the other infatuated girls are, his eyes swing in her vicinity and like magic, he finds her. Only her. Heat spreads under her skin, like flames of fire are licking all over her.
As his face turns away from her seconds later, she takes the chance to observe him—strong, masculine, so amazingly sexy, his presence hits her straight in her sex. The girls behind her seem to think so too. From amongst the hollering, she makes out their obscene shouts.
As Judas struts toward the ring, one hand brushes all the way back through his thick sexy hair. The heat and sweat make it stick out even more crazily than usual and he looks completely irresistible.
Seven days too long…
Belle bites her lip as he finishes his saunter to ringside. He scans the crowd again before he jumps over the ropes and she feels those bedroom eyes wash over her. He has a way of looking at her that makes her feel like no-one else exists in the world, even if a crowd is around her. Add that to the sexy curl of his lips and she has a man who ignites her with just a glance. He’s igniting her now even as he sits in the corner while Tate hands him his water and any last piece of advice for the match ahead. Judas never takes his eyes off her.
Eyes that tell her… he’s coming for her.
Something sparks low in her tummy. She flushes and smiles as those amazingly intense eyes hook onto hers and he winks. Those silly women behind her start squealing that he’d winked at them before he moves his attention back to the fight ahead. His opponent, Dean ‘Minotaur’ Romero, enters the ring.
