Slowly, he nodded. “Thank you for your honesty.”
I waited to see if he’d say anything else, but he didn’t. “That’s it?”
“I’d like to speak with Miss Fitzgerald first. Would you mind waiting outside? If you see her, please send her in.” He lowered his head and started reading over something on his computer screen.
A non-verbal dismissed.
After making me wait all night for his decision, and then having this conversation, he was going to make me wait even longer? My jaw clenched down painfully and my teeth ground together.
Wordlessly, I stormed out. Felecia was sitting in one of the chairs with her head resting against the wall. When she heard the door shut, she opened her eyes and immediately went into glare-mode.
I took a seat on the opposite side of the room, sitting as far from her as possible without leaving the waiting area. “He wants to see you.”
“Are we out or not?” she asked, still sitting.
“I guess you’ll have to tell me.”
She pushed herself up, said, “Whatever,” and then went inside Greene’s office. The door closed behind her with a snap.
Greene’s assistant rolled her eyes.
After a few minutes of silence, I started tapping my foot on the ground for something to do. I glanced around, hoping to find some kind of reading material. Nothing. Not even a magazine. At this point, I would have settled for elevator music—and I hated elevator music. I had my personal tablet, but until I knew what was going on, I wasn’t risking taking it out of my pocket.
Another twenty minutes passed before the door reopened. I sat up straight, watched as Felecia stormed away without even glancing at me. Crap. The look on her face had my stomach dropping.
“Miss Hall?”
I wiped my hands across my jeans and stood, staring at the open door. I didn’t want to go back in there. If he was going to let me stay, why wouldn’t he have just said so?
Then again, if he was giving me the boot, why wouldn’t he have just said that?
Damnit!
I bit my lip, released a breath, and then went back inside and retook my old seat.
Greene was wearing another one of his impassive looks that didn’t give a clue to what he was thinking. Couldn’t he just give away something that’d tell me if I was gone or not? This suspense thing was killing me.
“Before I give you my decision, I want to explain something to you. Most here are under the impression that, on the hunting side of things, all we do is take care of issues when they arise. We learn of an attack, we take care of the problem, and then we start over from there. While I wouldn’t call it inaccurate, it’s far from being entirely true.” He paused a moment. “We work as hard to prevent attacks as we do to clean up the messes. Finding a demon after it has killed someone helps the general population, of course, but what does it do to the lives already destroyed?”
“It gives them justice,” I said, meeting his gaze.
“And do you think that justice will bring back the lives lost? Does knowing we have Celina’s killer in a locked room make you feel better? Are you satisfied with that?”
I sighed and shook my head. “No, I guess not.”
“Being a CGE agent isn’t all hunting demons, Miss Hall. It’s prevention.” He leaned back in his chair and said nothing for a moment. “You mentioned not wanting the same thing that happened to you to happen to anyone else, and I want to believe that’s true.”
“You don’t?”
“No, not entirely. You want to hunt demons for vengeance. Don’t misunderstand me—most don’t know about demons until something happens to them or someone they know, and I don’t believe it’s necessarily, or entirely, the wrong reason.”
“But?” He hadn’t said it, but from his tone, his words, I knew it was coming.
“But I thought—or rather, I had hoped—that coming here, training with others like yourself, would mean more to you than simple vengeance. I thought being here would mean more to you than just a means to an end.” He released a heavy sigh and I could hear the disappointment behind it. It’d been a while since anyone had cared enough to be disappointed. “I honestly believed that helping Celina would make you understand that hunting demons should be about you, yes, but it should be about helping other people as well—equally, if not more. I believe you want to help people, and I know you can. I just wonder which idea appeals to you more.”
I opened my mouth to say something, to argue, but snapped it shut when guilt gnawed at me. How could I argue with him when he was right? Not entirely, because I did want to help other people, but even with what I’d said before (which was still true), my cause came first. I’d been so busy thinking about how this would help me that the thoughts of helping anyone else had been secondary.
And it shouldn’t have been.
Even last night, after the demon had escaped, I’d only thought about how to get away from it and save my own butt. I never considered what would happen if the demon got out of the South Tower. I’d never even thought about it hurting anyone else.
Folding his hands together, Greene rested his chin on them and sat up straight in his chair. “Miss Hall,” he said, sighing, “I know you want to be here, and I’d like for you to stay, but—”
“I’ll do better!” I said quickly, grabbing hold of the desk and leaning forward. “I’ll…take all of my tests when the other P1s take theirs and prove I belong here.”
“Your tests?”
“Yeah. I mean, there are some kind of finals or something, aren’t there?” There had to be.
“Yes, there are.” He nodded. “But they’re not easy exams, Miss Hall.”
“I can pass them.”
He stayed quiet for so long that I was sure he was trying to think of a gentle way to tell me to get out. My palms started to sweat again and I wanted to squirm.
Finally, he broke the silence and said, “You do realize you’re over seven months behind? Their Phase ends ten weeks from this past Friday, on…” He broke off long enough to glance at his computer screen again and click a few buttons on his keyboard. “July 31st, actually. That gives you just nine weeks to learn the material before your exams. That’s not a lot of time, Miss Hall.”
He was right. Having a great memory helped me with Demonology—a class I was sure I’d have no trouble passing—but there wasn’t much it could do to help with the physical stuff, which was three of my four classes. They all had some reading and exams, but the majority of it was hands-on. Even with Linc’s help, I was still behind. Not as much I should have been, but enough that I wasn’t sure I’d have enough time to learn it all and pass their exams.
Well, I’d already dug my own grave. Nothing left to do but jump in. “I can do it.”
He gave a slow nod. “Okay, Miss Hall. I’ll give you the opportunity, but don’t waste it. I don’t need to tell you to keep your distance from Miss Fitzgerald, do I?”
“I will.” At all costs. What was that old saying about fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me? I wasn’t going to be fooled twice.
“Good.” He leaned back in his seat, seemed to relax a little. A hint of a smile reached his lips and eyes. “You realize if you do pass your Phase One exams with everyone else, you’ll be the first prospect in CGE history to finish in less than half the allotted time?”
“No pressure,” I murmured under my breath, earning a laugh from Greene. “But I’m not trying to break records.” I’m just trying to stay where I am.
“I know.” He gave me a small smile. “I do have a question for you, however.”
“Yeah?”
“Had you planned that?” At my questioning gaze, he added, “What I mean to ask is, did you plan on telling me you’d finish early as a way to convince me to let you stay?”
“No.” I shrugged. “It was just the first thing that popped into my head, and the only thing I thought might prove I was serious about being here. That I belong here.”
The side
of his mouth lifted slightly.
My shoulders slumped. “You weren’t going to do it, were you?”
“Do what?”
That innocent look didn’t work. “Kick me out or suspend me—whatever the CGE does to demon-releasing Prospects.”
“Did you honestly believe I would?”
“Um…yeah.”
“I had no intention of kicking you out, Miss Hall. I just needed you to understand the seriousness of what happened.”
“I did—I mean, I do.”
“I know that, and it’s why you wouldn’t have been kicked out.”
“So…I just talked myself into triple the work for nothing.”
His eyes darkened and he learned forward again. “Was it for nothing?”
Sighing, I shook my head. “No, I guess not.” When he said nothing else, I rose from my chair and started for the door. I turned back when I heard my name.
“I expect you to make mistakes, and I’m willing to overlook most. However…”
“Avoid fights with Felecia and don’t release demons,” I finished for him. “I will. I promise.”
“Something to that effect, yes. If it happens again, it won’t be as easily overlooked.”
I left his office and waved bye to the receptionist on the way out. As far as threats went, it was a good one. I’d have no trouble trying to avoid Felecia.
I just hope she tried to avoid me too.
CHAPTER 12
It’d been a little over two months since I’d stupidly agreed (Linc’s words) to take the tests with the other P1s.
Two months since Felecia and I had released the demon into the South Tower. And, true to my word, I’d kept my distance from her at all costs, even hiding in restrooms and offices if I caught a glimpse of her when I was alone. It wasn’t the ideal situation, and I hated that I felt like I was trying to hide, but it was either that or fight with her and really get in some serious trouble.
That was the last thing I wanted to do. I needed to pass my tests, and if that meant hiding when I had to and eating dinner later than normal, then that’s what I’d do, and what I’d continue to do.
“Are you ready?” Linc asked me.
“For tomorrow? Yeah,” I said with a nod. Tomorrow was our Demonology exam. Three weeks after agreeing to take the tests with the others, I’d managed to not only catch up but had ended up ahead. “But for the other tests? Not so much.” And I wasn’t even sure when they were. None of the other teachers had told us when our other exams would be, and when we asked, they all said the same thing about us knowing when they knew.
We’d decided to take an hour break from studying and had gone to the catwalk. It’d become one of my favorite spots. The view of New Orlando was great and it was peaceful. Or it had been until he mentioned the darn exams again. I really wasn’t worried about tomorrow, but I wasn’t so sure about the others.
“What do you think will happen if I fail?” I asked, turning to face him better. “Do you think Greene will actually let me stay, or will he make me start over again? What if, after my big—and yes, I know, stupid—” I added preemptively, knowing he’d throw that in there if I didn’t, “—declaration of ‘I’ll prove I belong here’, I fail and he decides to send me back?”
“I don’t think he will. For one, I’ve never heard of anyone failing a Phase—though I imagine it is possible.” He shook his head when I glared. “And two, he handpicked you, Jade. Whether you like it or not, agree or disagree, that holds some clout with him.”
“Maybe,” I said half-heartedly.
Would clout alone be enough to keep me here? I still had three exams after Demonology, and I was behind in most of those classes, despite how much I’d studied. And over the last few months, that’d been a lot. Awake time had turned into study time, and over the last few weeks, I’d been studying more than I’d been sleeping.
Tracking wasn’t as bad as the other classes since I’d gotten pretty good at the scenarios, as both agent and demon. When Mrs. Fletcher declared me a ‘sneaky, sneaky girl’, I’d stopped worrying as much.
Weapons was still hard, but since I hadn’t hurt anyone or cut off any of my own limbs, Mr. Elliot and I both agreed I could’ve been worse. But ‘could’ve been worse’ was a far cry from ‘you’ll pass’, so I still wasn’t convinced.
And Combat…well, that was my toughest class, both physically and mentally. It was all hands on with very little reading. Just a lot of punching, kicking, and falling. I’d watched the class enough to know the moves, but knowing the techniques and managing to do them properly was something else entirely. And despite Tasha’s claims that I had a photographic memory, I didn’t. I was just good at remembering stuff. She didn’t quite get that remembering stuff didn’t mean I could do what I remembered.
“Maybe you should ask for more time. You’ve only had three months total to study for exams the rest of us have had ten months to study for. You even joined Phase One before you should have. He has to take that into account—”
I started shaking my head before the words left his mouth. He’d suggested doing that pretty much every day since my meeting with Greene. “No. I’m not asking for it. This was my decision—not his—so I’ll do it. I just want them over with.” I ran my fingers through my hair. “Demonology should be fine. I mean, I’ve studied that book enough that I probably have the table of contents memorized.”
He bit back a smile. Mostly. “Pretty sure you won’t be tested on that.”
“I hope not.” I tried to laugh but the sound never came out. I lowered my head to my hands, shook it. “I can’t do this. Who am I trying to kid? I mean, I’ll do fine in Demonology, but the others? I’m going to fail so hard. Greene’s going to have a bus waiting for me and I’ll—”
“Jade? Breathe. Just breathe. You can do this.” He waited a moment, then said the words over again. “Say them with me now. ‘I can do this.’ Say it, Jade.”
I lifted my head. “I can do this,” I said in a tone that even a deaf person would have a hard time finding convincing.
“I’m feeling the conviction, Hall.”
“Shut up,” I said, managing to laugh this time.
He glanced down at his watch. “Come on. Our time’s up. We can get in another hour or two of studying, and then we need sleep. No more all nighters.” He raised his eyebrows at me. “I know you’ll try it, but don’t.”
I didn’t deny it or try arguing, because we both knew I’d do that, just like I’d done every night this last week.
“You have to sleep, Jade. You won’t pass if you fall asleep taking them, unless you can sleep-test instead of sleep-walk. I haven’t seen anyone do that, but it could be a cool ability.”
“I’ll sleep.” When my eyes close and refuse to reopen.
He climbed down the ladder and waited at the bottom for me. When I was close enough, he held my arm and put his other hand at the small of my back.
Once we were back inside the building and he’d pulled the window closed, we started for the elevator. I raised my head high. “I can do this,” I repeated again. “I can—oh, crap. I’m so screwed.”
“Why are you so nervous? You were fine for the first month of classes and you passed everything with flying colors—even the reports the rest of us had months to do. Hell, Jade, you turned them in before anyone else. You’ve got that super-memory thing going on, and you’re a natural at everything. Even the teachers keep telling you that.” When I tried to turn away, he grabbed my arm to hold me in place. Light blue eyes locked with mine. “You’ve got this.”
“You’re just saying that.”
“No, I’m not. I just think you were insane to suggest doing it.” He shrugged. “But you did. You’ve survived worse. This? This is no big deal.”
“But—”
“No. Big. Deal,” he repeated, enunciating each word carefully.
“Okay. You’re right. I’ve got this.” I repeated the words over and over, making it my new mantra. I’ve got this. I’ve got thi
s.
Shaking his head, he took a step back.
I couldn’t say why, but his entire demeanor changed. He went from playful, to serious, to…something. There was a glint in his eyes I hadn’t seen before. As I studied it, trying to decipher the meaning, he grabbed me again and spun me around. A second later, he pulled me back against his chest. One hand went around my stomach, the other just below my neck, across my collarbone. Without thinking, I grabbed the arm at my collarbone and twisted away, maneuvering around his other arm and yanking him down hard.
He looked up, shot me a dangerous smile. Oh, shit.
My fingers were still wrapped around his wrist, holding him in place. I would have let go, but he clasped his free hand on mine and stood up, making me stand on my tiptoes. I sent my elbow crashing into his stomach. He moved back, but he didn’t release his grip. He still had my hand in his, so when he took another step back, it forced me to move with him. I felt the pressure behind my ankle and my eyes went wide as the world went horizontal. I hit the ground with a whoosh of air blowing out of my lungs.
I held up my hands in the sign for a time-out. Linc, hovering over me, raised his eyebrows. “Quitting already?”
Saying nothing, I held out my hand. When he grabbed for it, I planted my foot in his gut and sent him flipping over my head. He flew over me, landed hard. I laughed. “I can’t believe you always fall for that. After three months, I’d think you’d learn better. I’m going to have to start calling you Fly Boy.”
He sat up, wrapped one arm around a knee. “Like I said, you’ve got this. Demonology isn’t the only thing you’re good at.”
I rolled over and kept my knees under me. If I got back to my feet now, he’d seek his revenge. “Well, it’s nice to know you’re willing to go that extra mile and kick my ass to prove a point.”
“Anytime.”
I punched his shoulder. “You’re such a friendly jerk,” I said with a laugh.
His eyes changed again and stayed focused on mine. I tried to breathe, to say something, but the air in my lungs was somehow too full to work past my throat. He lifted his hand and moved it in my direction, like he was going to touch my face. Two inches short of it, he stopped and jumped to his feet.
Breed of Innocence (The Breed Chronicles, #01) Page 16
