305 Lovin’ 2
Diamond Johnson
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© 2015
Published by Leo Sullivan Presents
www.leolsullivan.com
All rights reserved.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. Unauthorized reproduction, in any manner, is prohibited.
Acknowledgements
First off I would like to thank God for even giving me the ability to have the talent of writing. I believe in Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ Jesus, who strengthens me.” There were times when I didn’t want to continue writing this book because I didn’t think it would be good enough. I started working on I Choose You in January 2014. I stopped working on it due to school. Just last month, I opened it in Word where I had it saved and I realized that I did have the talent to write. I pushed myself every day to complete this book and I was thrilled when I finished it.
To my amazing boyfriend, David Hudson, who helped me along the way. He helped me with the mistakes that he caught as he read and also pushed me to get the book done. He motivated me in ways that I don’t even think he knows he did.
To my amazing parents, thank you for believing in me as well and for not doubting me when I came to you guys with the idea of writing my very own book. I love you guys so much.
And lastly, to my readers, I hope you all enjoy this book as much I enjoyed writing it. I’m doing this for you guys. Keep a look out for Diamond, this is only the beginning, I have so much up my sleeve for you guys.
“Keep in mind that I’m an artist
And I’m sensitive about my shit
-Erykah Badu
Chapter 1: Monae
This was not happening right now! It couldn’t be! This just had to be some sort of fucked up dream because I know it wasn’t no way in hell that I had been caught having sex with my boyfriend in my mother’s house. Caught by my brother at that! What was I to do right now because the damage was already done? Here I was propped up in my bedroom at my mama’s house on my knees, with my ass tooted up in the air, getting my back blown out by Quay. Jaquan stood at the door with the gun fixed on Quay’s head, and I was like a deer caught in headlights.
I was embarrassed, humiliated, and most importantly, I was scared out of my mind. I was scared of what was about to transpire between the two most important men in my life. Hell, I was more so scared for Quay because the look in my big brother’s eyes let me know that if we didn’t start saying some shit that he wanted to hear, it was going to be lights out for Quay.
Finally gaining some type of courage, I pushed Quay from behind me and grabbed the cover so that I could wrap it around my exposed body. “Jaquan, what are you doing here? Can you please put the gun down? We can talk about this like adults! Nobody has to get hurt.”
I tried to reason, but I could tell that Jaquan wasn’t paying attention to shit that was coming out of my mouth. Quay had yet to start pleading for his life. This motha fucka was acting like he wasn’t even fazed by the fact that a gun was pointing at his head. He went picked up his white Polo boxer shorts and quickly put them on.
“Monae, don’t beg that nigga for shit! He gone come in here and raise a fuckin’ gun on me because I’m fuckin’ you! You a grown ass woman! You not a little girl no more. I understand he pissed off, but if this motha fucka don’t get this gun from out of my face, it’s gone be some problems in this bitch,” Quay barked.
I could tell from the way that his left eye kept twitching that he was pissed off.
“Pussy nigga, you got me fucked up with one of these lame ass niggas you be talking to out here in these fuckin’ streets! Motha fucka, out of respect for your ass, I didn’t come in this bitch and blow off your fuckin’ head for fuckin’ my little sister. Nigga, I’m trying to give your ass an opportunity to explain yourself, but you gone keep right on talking and I’m going to forget all about the fuckin’ little bit of respect that I have for you and empty this whole fuckin’ clip in your ass,” Jaquan said. He stepped more into the room as I wrapped the cover around my body tighter.
“Nigga, what you want me to explain? You want me to sit here and explain to you how much I love Monae and beg you for your approval? I’m a grown ass nigga, Quan, and I’m not about to sit here and ask another nigga for shit! I understand you’re upset right now. Had the shit been vice versa, I would have reacted the same way, but you acting like I’m some random ass nigga right now. I done known you and Monae damn near all my life, you should know that I wouldn’t do shit to hurt her,” Quay said.
“Let that be the fuckin’ reason why you should have known that my little sister was off limits. Quay, nigga, you know me! You out of all people know how the fuck I get down when it comes down to my damn family, so don’t you sit up here and act shocked about the way that I’m going about this situation! You see the way I almost broke that nigga neck that one time for even looking at my sister! Oh, what? You thought I was going to spare your ass because you my boy? Hell naw, nigga!” Jaquan said.
At this point, I didn’t know what to do. I knew one thing, though. I knew Jaquan wasn’t going to shoot Quay because if that were the case, he would have done the shit.
I stood up from the bed, making sure I had the cover wrapped securely around my body so I wouldn’t have to chance my brother seeing me naked again for the second time today. I walked over to Jaquan. Although he was visibly pissed, I could also tell that he was hurt. I knew my brother like the back of my hand so it killed me right now as I looked at him and saw the disappointment that he had with me right now.
“Jaquan, can you please just put the gun down and give me a minute to explain? Please?” I begged him.
He looked at me for a minute, basically trying to see if he should listen to me, and then he eventually put the safety back on the gun and tucked it back inside his pants. I blew a sigh of relief and shifted the weight of my foot onto the other. I was nervous as hell, and I dreaded having the conversation, but I knew that it had to be done. Hell, it should have been done way before this; if so, none of this would have happened.
“First off, let me just start by apologizing for you having to walk in and see this. Jaquan, Quay and I have been together now for almost two years and I love him. I kept it a secret from you and everybody else because I knew that you wouldn’t approve of it. I also didn’t want to break up a friendship between you and Quay, which is another reason why I didn’t tell you. Please don’t be mad at me, Jaquan. Honestly, the plan was to tell you this last month, but after everything that went down between you and Chantel, I didn’t want to add more shit to your plate. After everything had died down, then I was going to let you know everything that has been going on because I couldn’t live with the constant secrets and lies anymore.” I told him the God honest truth.
Jaquan didn’t say anything for a while, he just stared at me with hurt eyes. His once hazel eyes, for some reason now looked black. They showed no signs of love or anything else. I knew that he wouldn’t be very supportive of Quay and me, but I didn’t think that it would come down to the point where I actually hurt him.
“I ain’t got shit to say,” Jaquan said and backed out of the room. A second later, as if a thought had popped into his mind, he turned back around and faced us. “Oh yeah, and you fired, nigga!” Jaquan said to Quay and I sucked my teeth.
“If you fire me over this shit, then you’re even dumber than I thought. You acting like a whole bit
ch right now!” Quay said. At this point, he was fully dressed and I was hoping that he would shut his dumb ass up because all he was doing was pissing my brother off even more.
“Fuck nigga, what you said to me?” Jaquan asked, stepping back into the room, with a deadly look on his face.
I tried to block his path, but he pushed my little ass so hard that I fell, almost knocking my head on the edge of the dresser. Before I knew it, Jaquan had punched the shit out of Quay, and Quay ate that punch like a true pro. He hit my brother back in his face just as hard. In a matter of five seconds, my bedroom had turned into a fuckin’ boxing match, and these two motha fuckas were fighting in this bitch like Mayweather and Pacquiao. Finally, gaining my strength, I got up off the floor and made my way over to them.
“Stop it! Please stop it! Y’all are friends!” I screamed, trying to pull them away from each other, but the shit wasn’t working. I went over to my dresser and pulled out my .22 that I kept in there and let off a shot in the air.
Immediately, they broke apart and looked around, trying to see who had fired a shot.
Relieved, I put the gun away. “Thank you. I understand that you both are upset, but I’m not about to stand here and watch you guys kill each other!” I fussed.
“Monae, shut the fuck up! You better be glad I’m not putting my foot in your ass,” Jaquan said as he stood up and fixed his clothes.
“Put your foot in my ass for what, Jaquan? You keep forgetting that you’re my brother! You are not my daddy, and I would appreciate it if you stop treating me like I’m China. This is why I didn’t tell you in the first place! You act like you run me!” I fussed.
Jaquan made his way over to me and jacked my little ass up, pushing me into the wall.
“Fuck is you talking to, little girl? I may not be your damn daddy, but I’m the closest you done had to one! I practically raised your ass. Who the fuck you call when you need money? Who the fuck paying for your tuition right now? Me! So, like I said, I’m the closest fuckin’ thing you gone have to a daddy, so deal with that shit,” he barked, and I immediately started to cry. His words hurt, and I was pissed off none the less.
“Alright, nigga, you made your point! You ain’t got to handle her like that,” Quay said, coming to my rescue.
“See, nigga, that’s where we gone have a problem at right there! This my motha fuckin’ sister, and I handle her how the fuck I want to! You may be fuckin’ her, but you don’t run shit over here!” Jaquan said, never releasing his grip on the front of the towel that I had wrapped around me. He stared me up and down for a few, and then he let me go and I quickly wiped my face.
“Let’s go! You coming home with me. Mama out of town and you don’t need to be in this big ass house by yourself,” Jaquan said.
“I stay here my by myself all the time! You just don’t want me to stay with him, that’s all,” I fussed.
“Monae, shut the fuck up and put on some damn clothes and pack a bag! I’ll meet you in the car,” he said and then he walked out of the room.
I focused my attention on Quay as he sat on the edge of my bed, putting on his Timberland boots. I walked over to him and stood between his legs. “So, now what?” I asked him.
“You made your decision, little mama. That nigga say jump, you say how high! You stay screaming you so grown, but you about to pack your shit up so you could stay with him until your mommy gets back. I don’t need a lil bitch on my team, I need a thorough ass bitch that don’t have to answer to nobody but me! You a little ass girl, Monae, and you ain’t ready for a nigga of my caliber, so I’ma have to let your young ass go,” Quay said, hurting whatever little pride and feelings I had left.
“So, fuck the fact that I confessed my love for you to him! Does that count for anything?” I cried. I didn’t want to come off as a crybaby, hell he already thought that I was immature. But what was I supposed to do when his words kicked and stomped on my heart?
“Yeah, it counts for something. It counts for the fact that you only said it to calm that nigga down. But you good, Monae, you don’t have to explain shit else to me, baby girl. Enjoy your life, I’m out.” He started to stand up, but I pushed him back down on the bed. I couldn’t let him walk out of my life. I just couldn’t.
“Quay, baby, you can’t leave me! I’ll go with you! Wherever you want me to go, I’ll go! I’ll tell him right now that I’m not leaving with him and I’ll leave with you! Don’t do me like this, baby, I’m begging you!” I dropped down to my knees. I was defeated, and I hated having to choose.
“Monae, you made your choice already, and it’s too fuckin’ late!” Quay said. He stood up, leaving me on the floor to cry my eyes out.
I followed him with my eyes until he disappeared out of my room and down the stairs he went. I eventually got myself together and went to take a shower.
I was in the shower for all of ten minutes before I got out. With a towel wrapped around my body, I went to the sink to brush my teeth. After pulling my long, silky hair into a tight bun, I went into my drawer for something to wear. I threw on a pair of gold booty shorts from Robin, along with a gold and white tank from there as well. Then, I lotioned my body up and slid on my white thong sandals from Steve Madden and admired the tattoo of roses that I had on my left foot that went up to my ankles. My cocaine white nail polish on my hands and feet complimented my outfit. I threw on my big frame sunglasses from Prada and grabbed my MCM bag off my dresser and made my way out of my room. After making sure that the house alarm was on, I stepped outside and walked to my brother/ daddy’s car. No need to pack a bag when I had a whole room with clothes, shoes and every other necessity that I would need over at his house.
“Can’t believe you’re making me stay with you until Mommy gets back like I’m some little ass girl!” I fussed as soon as I got in his car.
“Monae, shut the hell up because I don’t want to hear that bullshit! Your ass is just mad that you can’t spend time with your little boyfriend. That pussy ass nigga,” Jaquan fussed as he sped out of the development like an asshole.
“You basically just admitted that you only took me because you didn’t want me with him. Jaquan, let me ask you something. What’s so wrong with Quay anyway? I mean, like I honestly just don’t get it. You know him, so it’s not like you’ll ever have to worry about me when I’m with him,” I said.
“That’s the problem right there. Monae, Quay of all people knows the game. That nigga knew you were off limits, but he basically said, fuck me and did what the fuck he wanted to do!” he told me.
“Well, it doesn’t even matter anymore because he broke up with me,” I said and then I burst out crying.
Reality had just set in that I was now going to be a lonely, bitter bitch. I knew this for a fact because Quay was my first real boyfriend, and the amount of time that we spent together was enough for me to give him my heart. I really and truly loved him, and it hurt like hell to see him walk out on me. I knew Quay wasn’t a bullshit type of person, so when he had threatened me the first time to tell my brother about us, I should have just done it because now it’s way too late.
“This exactly what I didn’t want to happen, man! You think I want to see you crying like this over a nigga? Hell no, I don’t! Monae, straighten up, man, because that’s not doing nothing but making me more upset,” Jaquan said. He hated to see me cry.
I wiped my face with my shirt and stared out of the window for the majority of the ride to his house. I planned to do nothing while I was over there too. I was going to stay my miserable ass in my room, and only come out when it was time for me to go back home. I was in my feelings, and I didn’t want or need to be around anybody because I was liable to take my frustrations out on them.
Chapter 2: Jaquan
I know I’m probably coming off to Monae as the most heartless and inconsiderate ass nigga, but honestly, in my head, I felt like what I was doing was absolutely the right way of handling things. Point blank period, I was a selfish ass nigga. I wanted my little sister
to stay pure, and I wanted her to stay away from these niggas because I knew without a doubt that all most niggas wanted was that one thing, and once they get that one thing, that’s it. Shit, I was that nigga, kind of still am, but I slowed down now that Charlie and I have been trying to get the whole relationship thing to work. I knew what men were capable of doing to a woman’s feelings, and God knows if a nigga ever broke my sister’s heart, I was going to break his neck.
I got to give it to my nigga, Quay, though, he didn’t back down to my ass. Most niggas would have probably taken the gun from my hand and used it to kill themselves had they had been caught in the situation of fuckin’ my little sister. But not Quay. He had impressed me with how he fought my ass and called himself trying to check me because of the way I was handling my little sister. That alone showed me that he cared for her because the nigga was still talking shit, even though I had a gun to his head. I’ll admit, I was pissed off about the shit at first, but the look that Monae had in her eyes when she was explaining her feelings for my boy couldn’t go unnoticed. That’s the same look I catch Charlie giving a nigga. I’ll be a heartless ass nigga to tell my sister that she had to stop seeing Quay. No brother wants to hear about his little sister fuckin’, but damn, I literally walked in on the shit. I just couldn’t be that asshole because that wouldn’t do anything but have Monae rebel, and I didn’t need that.
Part of the reason why I was like this when it came to my sister is because of our father’s absence. I know Monae doesn’t like to talk about it because it’s a touchy situation, having to grow up, especially as a little girl and not have a father in your life. So, me being the dominant person that I am, I stepped up by the time I was ten and tried to be the best big brother to Monae that I possibly could. I wanted to be that strong father figure to her, even though I was still a child myself. I know sometimes Monae feels like I treat her like a little girl, but I don’t see anything wrong with my loving my sister to the point that I’ll kill a nigga if he were to ever disrespect her.
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