She was well and truly in his blood, a growing fever that made him burn from the inside out. He thought of having a wife, a mother for Laura, and how he wanted all that with Caitlan, a woman who would risk her life to save a horse. A woman who gave him so much without realizing it. Love. Laughter. Anger. Passion.
He didn't know how he'd been fortunate enough to have found her-or the other way around, as the case might be-but he was willing to fight for her, to prove that she belonged here on the Circle R with him and Laura.
Before he could talk himself out of joining her in the shower, he began stripping off his clothes. With every article hastily shed, his body grew achingly hard for her, his heart opening to receive her in the purest sense. Seconds later he stepped into the steamy bathroom and smiled when he saw her misty outline through the frosted glass shower stall door.
The time had come for him and Caitlan to settle a few things.
Chapter Twelve
Caitlan sensed J.T. before she actually heard or saw him. Eyes closed, the hot shower spray rinsed away the last of the soap from her body and hair and pounded the tense muscles across her back. An incredible awareness swelled within her, as if J.T. had reached out and physically caressed her. The shower stall door opened on a soft click and she shivered, not from the cool air rushing in but from the sensual anticipation racing along her spine.
Her lashes fluttered open and she looked at J.T., standing just outside the shower. He was naked and aroused, all sleek strength and firm, hard muscle. Liquid heat fluttered in her belly when his dark gaze slowly, reverently, glided the length of her body, and then back up again. Desire had clouded his eyes by the time he'd finished his visual exploration.
Touched by live flame, she fought the urge to cover herself. She knew what he wanted, knew she should tell him to leave, but her need and love for him eclipsed any semblance of reason or modesty she might have had.
He stepped inside the one-person stall and shut the door. Water droplets bounced off her and clung to his skin. He stood so close she had to tilt her head to meet his gaze. So close, his erection brushed her belly like a velvet caress and the tips of her breasts grazed the sprinkling of hair on his chest. Her nipples puckered into exquisitely tight buds, and she resisted the impulse to move even closer and rub against him.
The intense need blazing in his eyes kicked her heart into a heavy beat, reminding her of the desperate way he'd kissed her and held her after pulling her from the barn, as if he never wanted to let her go. Indeed, she hadn't wanted him to release her. At the time she'd rationalized his reaction as an outpouring of adrenaline and fear, but now she sensed his longing ran much, much deeper.
Tentatively, she reached up and touched a streak of soot on his cheek, wiping it away with her wet fingers. He'd put himself in danger by rescuing her from the fire, when it was her job to protect him. A tender ache wove through her.
"You could have died for me," she whispered thickly, her fingers playing over his stubbled jaw.
Catching her wrist, he dragged her hand to his mouth. He placed a kiss in her palm, then nipped at the flesh just below her thumb. "I would have, if it meant saving you." His voice vibrated with emotion.
The love in his gaze was unmistakable, echoing her own feelings for him. In that moment she knew she'd take whatever he would give her. Tonight she didn't want to think… she wanted to feel everything J.T. had to offer.
Curling her hand around the back of his head, she pulled his mouth to hers and kissed him without restraint. Water sluiced over them and she pressed her body to his, sliding her slick, naked breasts against his chest.
He growled deep in his throat. Wrapping his arms around her back, he pulled her closer, returning the deep, tongue-tangling kiss with fervor.
And then it wasn't enough for Caitlan. She trembled. She ached. She burned for his touch. Her medallion tingled hot against her skin, but she ignored the radiant sensation for the excitement surging the length of her body.
His lips left hers and trailed down the side of her throat to her collarbone, his tongue lapping the water from her skin. When the wet heat of his mouth closed over a turgid nipple, suckling her deeply, her need mounted. He paid homage to both breasts, then nipped his way lower, exploring with mouth and tongue and the light graze of his teeth every sensitive hollow and curve. By the time he found his way back up, he was as soaked as she. He wiped the water from his face, his gaze so passionately intense she shivered.
"J.T., please," she whimpered, plowing her fingers through his wet hair. She strained into him, yearning for the ultimate union with him, the wonderful ecstasy of being a complete part of him.
"Not here," he rasped, then groaned when she curled a leg around his hip, trapping his thick arousal between their bodies. "Oh, God, Caitlan. I want you in my bed."
Caitlan didn't think she could wait that long.
Two minutes later, their bodies still damp from the quick rubdown he'd given them, J.T. laid her on the soft quilt covering his bed. Leaving the nightstand light on low, he slid on top of her, bracing himself above her on his elbows. Her legs parted eagerly for him, but he didn't take possession of her.
The friction of his hard, muscular body pressing into her soft contours aroused her. The gleam in his eyes blazed savagely and his heart pounded fiercely beneath the hand she'd planted on his chest. Heaven help her, she wanted him like this, wild and primitive and hungry for her.
"I love you, Caitlan," he said, the words sounding rusty and unused. "I love you." Before she could respond his mouth swooped down on hers, open, hot, and wet, ruthless in its demands, a kiss meant to claim. The tip of his arousal touched silky warmth, teasing and tormenting her with the promise of being filled.
He tore his mouth from hers with a low groan. His gaze grew dark and smoky, his breathing harsh. "You're mine, Caitlan," he said, staking the same claim he had in the barn. "Say it," he demanded huskily.
She thrilled to the truth burning in his eyes, the same truth that seared her heart and made her wholly his. Her medallion danced like fire between her breasts, but not hot enough to dissuade her from following her heart. "I'm yours," she said, hooking her legs around his thighs, luring him toward the promise of ecstasy. "Take me."
Caitlan cried out as he drove into her, her body so primed that she accepted him in one silken stroke. He came down on her with an anguished moan, crushing his lips to hers, plundering her mouth with his tongue. His hips moved rhythmically against hers, long, fluid thrusts that escalated into something far more powerful and compelling.
And then it wasn't enough-for either of them. Unbridled passion erupted between them, white hot and untamed. Their bodies strained toward one another, both desperate to bind more than ust flesh. Caitlan gloried in his sleek power, at the pleasure he so easily wove in her. Her hands touched him everywhere, imprinting everything about him to memory, knowing that was all she'd ever have from him. She poured her love into their kiss, although her heart faltered at the knowledge that she would ultimately lose him.
J.T. lifted his mouth from hers, his body rigid with control. He gazed down at her, his eyes glittering with hunger, desperate with greed. "Wrap your legs around me."
She did, hugging him tight. Holding her, he rolled to his back and pushed her to an upright position so she straddled his hips. A startled gasp escaped her as he embedded himself to the hilt. He stared up at her for a long moment, his gaze scanning her face, taking in her tousled hair and kiss-swollen lips. The large hands spanning her waist moved slowly, sensuously upward, splaying over her stomach, then tracing the outline of each rib. A hot flood of desire spiraled through her, and she moaned and arched shamelessly on him, pushing her breasts into his palms.
He touched the medallion with the tip of his finger, and the gold immediately increased in temperature, scalding her skin. Sucking in a quick breath, she reached up to push his hand away. Rebellion flared in his eyes and he grasped the pendant in his palm.
An electrifying surge of energy jo
lted her, traveling the length of her body like a never-ending shock wave. Sparks of heat showered within her, shimmering just below the surface of her skin and radiating downward to where she joined intimately with J.T. She melted around him, an incredible feeling of oneness meshing her spirit with J.T.'s, leaving her breathless.
J.T. moaned, his body shuddering. She looked into his eyes and knew by the bewilderment there that he'd experienced the same startling sensation. The intensity of the spiritual encounter, and the channel of energy still humming between them, frightened and aroused her.
"Take the medallion off," he said, his voice husky with sexually charged awareness.
Panic gripped her and she grasped his wrist. Allowing him to touch the medallion was one thing, but to take it off…She never took off the medallion during a mission. "J.T., no-"
"Yes," he said adamantly. "I don't want anything between us."
She hesitated for a brief moment, torn between love and duty. Then, with an acceptance that came from her heart, she let go of his hand. She, too, wanted the last barrier between them removed.
He lifted the chain over her head and dropped it off the side of the bed. The pendant hit the wooden floor with a soft clink. "Now ride me, Caitie," he demanded thickly, pulling her hips down at the same time he bucked upward. "Ride me hard."
His bluntness should have shocked her, but it thrilled her instead. "Show me," she said, wanting to please him.
He guided her with his hands and rolled his hips. "Do whatever feels good."
She did, giving free rein to her awakening sensuality.
He groaned, low and rough. "That's it," he murmured, driving deeper, more urgently into her. "So good."
Closing her eyes, Caitlan focused on the tension winding within her. Without the medallion, her response to J.T. was sharper, more searing than ever. Their union went past the physical joining to the emotional link that seemed to make him such an intricate part of her. Tiny shivers of awareness sparkled over her, whispering to her senses, pulling at her soul. She arched wildly on him, reaching for the brilliance glittering on the edge, the promise of fulfillment that sat just beyond her grasp. And something else: elusive thoughts and images that teased her mind.
"C'mon, Caitie," he growled, drawing in choppy breaths in an effort to hold back for her. His fingers caressed the sensitive flesh of her inner thigh, skimming higher. "Let it go."
Caitlan wanted to, but the closer she came to reaching that crest, something within her pulled back. Her heart slammed in her chest and every breath labored her lungs. A jumble of emotions raged in her, all tied to J.T. Rich, profound feelings of love and desire… and devastation and loss.
She blinked her eyes open and started to withdraw, afraid of what lay beyond the peak. But then J.T.'s fingers touched her where they became one, stroking silken folds with gentle determination. He murmured encouraging words to her, then more explicit demands.
Keen emotions swelled in her, clamoring for release. Moaning softly, Caitlan arched desperately against J.T. An uprush of sensations burst free, an explosion of the sweetest kind overtaking her body and mind. Sobbing J.T.'s name, she convulsed violently around him, feeling reborn, her soul renewed. From another plateau she heard J.T. call her name, heard him groan deeply, then felt the wet warmth of him fill her.
I love you, J.T., she thought, collapsing on his chest.
"I love you, Caitlan," he whispered, his body shuddering from the force of his climax. "Don't leave me."
Familiar feelings and images spiraled in Caitlan, tugging on her senses, like a powerful, inescapable riptide. She closed her eyes, and a wispy vision materialized of a dismal, gray day in a cemetery.
Dressed in a black suit, J.T. stood beside a polished coffin, pain and sorrow lining his features. He placed a bouquet of handpicked primroses and daisies on the smooth lid, his eyes bleak and empty.
"Don't leave me, Amanda, please," he said, his voice hoarse with desperation.
Amanda, now a spiritual form, looked on at the scene, at peace with herself, but still so much a part of this man she had to leave behind. I'll never leave you, Johnny. I'll always be with you. Always. And then she reached out and touched him one last time, projecting to him all the love in her heart.
"Amanda, it's time to go," her Superior, Mary, called to her. "You have much work to accomplish before you are rejoined with your soulmate."
Amanda. The name hit Caitlan with the force of a bolt of lightning. Mary had been talking to her, Caitlan. She remembered the conversation with clarity, recalled going to see J.T. that final time… she had been there!
A heavy, suffocating pressure compressed Caitlan's chest. She frantically searched the outermost reaches of her subconscious, digging for facts and clues to substantiate what she'd stumbled upon. A sharp pain pierced her temples, and she gasped, momentarily paralyzed by the onslaught. Snippets of her life as Amanda rushed through her mind like a movie on fast-forward: her parents, her childhood, her love for J.T., her death, her years of service as a guardian angel. And finally the memory of her Superiors suppressing her memory for this mission, then giving her the medallion to protect the past. The medallion J.T. had removed. Now, she understood the connection to J.T., the visions that had plagued her on this mission.
J.T. was her soulmate.
With a moan of utter despair, Caitlan absorbed J.T.'s body heat, overwhelmed by her discovery. Her body trembled and her head whirled. An abundance of realizations and memories poured over her, replenishing all the empty areas in her mind, her heart, and her soul. And when the torrent ended she knew with absolute certainty her true identity. Cuddled close to J.T., she began to cry, deep, wracking sobs that shook her entire body.
J.T., still languorous and awed by the power of their joining, basked in the warm, soft feeling of Caitlan curling up to him, and the sense of completion weaving around his heart. He stroked her back and threaded his fingers through her damp hair, wondering how he'd lived for so long without this woman in his life.
The sensual fog cleared from his head and he frowned, suddenly aware of the tremors shaking her body. She clung to him, her face buried in his neck, a hot wetness dampening his skin. Caitlan's tears. His body tensed with alarm. God, had he hurt her somehow?
He rolled so she was beneath him, but she wouldn't let go of the hold she had around his neck. Gently, he pried her arms away so he could look into her face. Tears pooled her violet eyes and total devastation marked her expression. J.T. panicked. "Caitlan? Baby, what is it?"
She shut her eyes, releasing another trail of tears down the side of her face. Her breath caught on a ragged sob. "Amanda," she choked out.
His entire body coiled into a tense knot at the mention of Amanda's name. Remembering the last time they'd made love and she'd called him Johnny, irritation flowed like molten lava through his veins. "What the hell are you talking about?" he demanded.
Her eyes, glossy with tears, brimmed with a peculiar mixture of awe and torment. Slowly lifting her hand, she skimmed her fingertips over his jaw, her gaze searching his features as if seeing him for the first time. She swallowed thickly, a tentative smile working up the corner of her mouth. "I'm Amanda."
He jerked away from her cool touch as if burned by flame. Fury shot through him. "Stop it," he roared, brows drawn fiercely over his eyes.
She withdrew physically, the bedside lamp illuminating her startled expression. An eerie familiarity swirled around J.T., barraging his senses. He gazed down into beautiful violet eyes so like his Amanda's, had glimpsed the dimple both women possessed, and thought the crashing pressure in his chest would be his undoing. The need and connection he'd experienced with Caitlan had felt so damn real… He squeezed his eyes shut, his stomach churning with terror.
Oh, God, Amanda. But how could that be? He shook his head, wondering if he was going slowly insane. No! he raged inwardly. Amanda was dead, gone from this lifetime.
A spike of anger renewed his fortitude, and he moved away from Caitlan. Rolling
off the bed to his feet, he snatched his jeans from the floor and yanked them on, one leg at a time.
"Dammit, Caitlan, what are you trying to pull?" He glared at her, grasping his ire with both hands, welcoming the heated fury in favor of the softening emotions threatening to engulf him. "If this is some kind of sick joke…"
Her eyes widened, and she shook her head wildly. "No." Sitting up, she reached for the bunched-up quilt and covered her naked body. Her eyes filled with hurt and confusion. "Johnny, I swear-"
"Don't call me that!" His jaw clenched so hard, his teeth hurt.
She shrank back at his harsh tone. The pain and vulnerability etched on her face nearly disarmed him, but he refused to fall for the act. What else could this whole farce be? Christ, he'd fallen in love with… an imposter. A fraud.
Cursing himself for a fool, he grabbed his shirt at the end of the bed and shrugged into it. His fingers worked the buttons quickly as he paced the floor in agitation. He zipped up his pants, sparing Caitlan a sharp glance. "Who put you up to this? Huh?" He was going to kill the bastard responsible for this sadistic prank.
Pushing the tangle of damp hair from her face, she drew a steady breath that did nothing to clear the uncertainty from her gaze. "My… my Superiors."
He came to an abrupt stop, staring at her incredulously. "Your what?"
She pressed shaky fingers to her temples and closed her eyes, a low groan of despair echoing in the room. "This is all so confusing," she whispered.
"Well, sort it out and fast," he snapped, jamming his hands on his hips. "I'm losing my patience real quick, Caitlan."
"Amanda," she corrected in a whisper.
Dropping his hands back to his sides, he curled his fingers into tight fists. "Explain yourself before I toss you out on your pretty little ass," he said in a slow, precise tone of voice.
She looked up at him, indecision in her gaze. Swirling deeper, he glimpsed a hopelessness that brushed the edge of his heart and made him want to give into the plea for understanding shining in her eyes.
Heaven's Gift aka Kiss of an Angel Page 23
