by Cara Carnes
“That’s her, Mary, Addy, Bree and Rhea,” Logan offered.
“Right, the white boarding crew,” Jud commented. Jesus, Viviana was an adorable, geeky nut. “Didn’t Bree mention something about Riley being in it now?”
“Yeah, she’s a new appointment. We were supposed to have an initiation ceremony for her tomorrow night, but I’m thinking we need to postpone.” Her shoulders drooped a bit as she moved past the silliness of ninjas and a Pentagon and struck the heart of the matter center mass. “Someone tried to kill us.”
“Yeah.”
“You said you recognized one. Was he Collective?”
“Yeah, he was.”
“So they’re in.”
“Yeah.” They were in. He recalled the op he’d sent Addy on. “I’m sorry I didn’t read you in on what I had Addy pull. We ran low on time.”
“What was it? I don’t like people going behind my back, Judson.” She wet her lips. He tracked her tongue as it darted in and out. So sexy. “I’m responsible for every single one of them, for keeping them safe and bringing them back in one piece. Her going off book for you could’ve been a disaster.”
Tension lines appeared along her forehead. He couldn’t imagine the tremendous burden she placed on herself—sole responsibility for everyone on a team. Did Mary or anyone else realize the pressure Viviana put herself under every time they took on a mission? Would it matter?
Jud waited a few minutes as Logan treated the bullet wound. He offered a few token care tips they both knew he’d ignore anyway.
“Come on, you need to unwind and rest,” he said as he rose. “First, we need to get Jacob and Mary to help us activate the lists.”
“The lists.” Blood seeped from her face. She yanked her hand away and took a step back. “How do you know about those?”
“Because everyone who gives a damn about someone has them in our line of work, Viviana.” He pulled the card from his back pocket, the one he’d put there earlier in the day—just in case.
She read the names a minute. “Judith isn’t on here.”
“No.”
“Why isn’t your sister on here?” She looked up. “My family’s on mine and I so don’t get along with them.”
“Judith isn’t on there because Danny is. He’s been through enough. Seeing the woman who cut him loose the first time he survived hell on the heels of surviving a second time wouldn’t be good.”
“We’ll get her secure somewhere else. We’ve got resources all over, I just need an address where she is.”
“Come on, let’s get this done so we can rest.”
They’d contacted most of the family. Vi sat between Mary and Jud and stared at the conference phone. Everyone had slipped out to help Gage and Marcus make room for the incoming guests. Family.
“I’ll do it,” Mary offered. She squeezed Vi’s hand. “Let me do it.”
“No. They’ll take it easier from me, even though it’s been a while since we spoke.” Eleven or twelve years?
It was the first couple of years she’d worked at Hive, the first security threat. After the first debacle she’d made alternative arrangements for their security, but that wasn’t an option this time around. Vi dialed the number she’d memorized long ago.
“Hello.” The sing-song voice sounded happy, welcoming. Nothing like what she expected.
“Mom, it’s me. Viviana.” She swallowed, forcing her dry throat to continue. “There’s a situation.”
“You have a lot of nerve, young woman.” Her voice grew distant. “Harold, it’s Viviana. She has another situation.”
“What’d you screw up this time?” Her father’s voice blasted tension into the room. Jud tensed beside her.
“Hello, it’s good to talk to you, too, Father.”
“Don’t give me that tone, young lady. You don’t call, write or visit for fifteen years and have the nerve to phone us now because you’ve messed up and have a situation?”
Like a used car salesman from Hoboken could take down The Collective and withdraw the six-million-dollar contract on her head. Vi couldn’t share details with them. Even if she could, she wouldn’t. They’d probably choose the two-comma payday over her if given half a chance. She knew her brother Rich would, probably for way less.
“Captain Mendoza will be by to pick you up and keep you secure until someone can escort you to a private airfield. That will likely be tomorrow around this time, maybe later. Pack enough to stay for a couple weeks.”
Marshall and the guys were en route stateside and had insisted on gathering families and bringing them back themselves before returning home. She pitied whoever drew the short straw to collect her so-called family. Captain Mendoza was a veritable saint who rounded them up whenever a threat was serious enough to merit doing so, which had been a rare occurrence. Thank goodness.
“Mrs. Chambers, this is Mary. I’m sorry this is necessary, but it’s for your own good and you and your husband will enjoy it out here. It’ll be a nice vacation.”
“So this is your fault, too?” Her mom’s voice rose. “I told her you were nothing but trouble, but she was too smart-mouthed to listen. Always a little know-it-all.”
“What the fuck?” Jud muttered.
Vi snagged his arm and squeezed. “Please, don’t.” She mouthed the words when he leaned forward as if intending to offer his thoughts. The last thing she needed was another opinion when it came to her parents. The more time she gave them, the nastier they’d get.
“We have to go. I’ll see you both and Rich tomorrow evening.” She clicked off before they could argue.
“Are you okay?” Mary asked, her voice soft and concerned.
“I will be,” she said. “We need a list for Zero. Sorry, Zoey.” She rubbed her temples as she tapped out a message to Gage. “I offered her a job out here, sort of.”
“Good. We need the help and she’s good,” Mary said. “What’d she do that merits the protective detail?”
“I’m not sure, but it somehow involved her throwing the brakes on whoever was going after Fallon’s team. I’m assuming it was a dirty op running that she spotlighted. She’s scared and wanting to bolt before the fallout hits,” Vi said. “We need support personnel and I was already thinking about recruiting her. It’s a win win.”
“Marshall wants all footage and images we’ve gathered from the dust up here sent to him stat,” Mary said. She set her tablet down and looked at Jud. “You’re a one-man army, a deadly one.”
“Was that ever in doubt?” Jud leaned back and crossed his arms. His hair was still damp from the shower he’d recently taken.
The coppery stench of death still tainted her nostrils as she studied his hands. The same hands that had touched her cheek, held her in place while he kissed her, had killed more enemies than she could count. The stray thought heated her cheeks when she noted Mary’s raised eyebrows. Best friends were a serious pain in the ass sometimes.
“Thank you for what you did today, Jud,” Vi said.
“Are we seriously having this conversation?” He pointed at the phone. “I’d rather chat about what the hell that was. Those were your parents?”
“They aren’t winning any parenting awards anytime soon,” Mary muttered. “They’re like a bad case of hemorrhoids.”
Jud didn’t respond. The intensity in his gaze rippled through her, a silent awareness he saw more than she wanted him to. He reached into his pocket and slid a hard drive on the table.
“What’s this?” Vi pulled it to her.
“Strike one against The Collective,” he answered. “A couple years in I realized leverage was important, necessary if I wanted those I loved to keep breathing. I earned my way back into their lives by doing things no one should ever be asked to do, much less agree to. I didn’t always know why or for who, but I kept what I could in the way of names. Locations. Anything I could remember.”
Holy. Shit.
Shock rolled through her as she locked gazes with Mary, who’d grown pale.
/> “We need this kept between us. I don’t want Jacob involved. If anyone knew I had this, we’d have way more than The Collective after us. It’d be a fallout no one could contain. My graveyard is too extensive and too deep to be exposed. What I asked Addy to get tonight will be strike two. Jian had records of what he’s done for The Collective and others.”
“Including whoever hired Peter,” Mary guessed.
“That’s the hope,” Jud replied. “Either way, I’m thinking what he has and what’s on there should be enough for you to find their Achilles Heel. If they have one.”
“They will. Everyone does,” Vi said. “I don’t even know what to say, Jud. Thank you for trusting us with this.”
“Don’t thank me yet, Viviana.” Regret and embarrassment crept into his expression. “I promised to chase away your nightmares. What’s on there will guarantee you’ll have even worse ones. If I saw another way, I’d take that route. Releasing all of this into the world isn’t a nuclear reaction, it’s a thousand times worse. We need to neutralize The Collective without a ripple effect. You two have been through enough hells lately. We all have.”
Jud rose and reached for her, but then pulled back. He took a couple steps backward. “I’m sorry it got so messy today. There wasn’t any other way. I promised I’d keep you two breathing. I never promised it’d be clean.”
13
Vi set her supplies on the coffee table and plunked down on the carpet facing the door. Jacob assured her he’d escort Jud there as soon as they returned to the compound. He’d run into Nomad to pick up some supplies. Her hands trembled, but she spread the materials out. The thin colored strips of paper fanned out before her soothed the beast within her, the one that sometimes reared its head when an op didn’t quite go as planned.
Two new Arsenal agents had suffered minor injuries. All in all, it had been a successful strike.
Except for her almost losing Fallon’s team. Oh, and the compound getting attacked because she hadn’t thought far enough ahead.
She forced back the thought. For now, she’d reboot her mind, decompress. That’s what this time was about.
The door opened. Jud prowled in. His gaze settled on her immediately. Jaw twitching, he sat beside her on the ground. “What’s all this?”
“Quillery,” she answered. “Most call it quilling today. It’s an art of paper filigree.”
“That’s where your handle came from.”
Curiosity softened his voice to a velvety sound. She spun a red strip of paper into shape and positioned it into the teardrop shaper. A squish and a couple tugs with her tool and she was ready for glue. “My mom taught me.”
Why had she offered the morsel of information? Few even knew she quilled. It was the one connection to her past she maintained.
“You enjoy it?”
She shrugged. “It soothes the beast, helps me decompress when things don’t go smoothly.” She swallowed when his hand rested on her ankle. She’d opted for loose sweats and a baggy t-shirt. Heat spread through her as his thumb raked against the exposed skin just above her ankle. She jerked her foot away, but he held on.
“Touch sooths my beast, Viviana,” he whispered. “We’ve both had a long, bad day. Everything went sideways.”
“Everyone’s okay.”
“But not what was expected,” he surmised.
“The work we do isn’t what you do. We can’t pile up bodies, that undermines us with the alphabet soup and everyone else we’re working to protect.” She smooshed a blue strip next. Another teardrop. The pattern swirled around in her head. She reached for the special pile of papers. The strips she’d made especially for this creation.
“What are you making?” he asked.
“A mandala.”
“Your mom made them?”
“No, she…” Vi shoved back the angry retort, focusing on the glide of his fingertips against her skin. Her pulse quickened. “I started mandalas when I got out of college. They soothed me more. Mom started me on this because my brain didn’t shut down. I’d have a hard time sleeping. I was always thinking, asking questions. Annoying people.”
Annoying her.
The gentle glide stopped. Contact firmed, but she craved the stroke. Like a cat seeking attention, she stretched her foot forward, just enough to get his attention.
“Kids aren’t an annoyance, Viviana. I’m sorry she saw you as one. Inquisitive children are a blessing.” He whispered the statement as he stroked again, this time further up her calf.
She swallowed and curled the first strip of special yellow paper into a ball. Another teardrop, this one smaller. Subtle to disguise its importance. No one ever needed to know the small secret it held, the piece of herself she left behind.
“Show me,” he said.
The second strip of yellow uncurled. She looked up at him. “What?”
“Show me how to do this.” He shifted closer. His hand settled on hers. “May I?”
She nodded. Confusion shook off the frustration she’d carted around, the outright anger she’d directed toward him. “Why?”
“Why not?”
“It’s boring. I’m boring.” She peered up as she squished the yellow paper ball into shape. “Only cat people quill, Jud. It’s a rule.”
He smiled, the molten one that made her insides warm. Firm, confident strokes moved up her calf, an exposed calf. How the heck had he gotten her sweatpants moved up? Real smooth, Jensen. Real smooth. She stifled the amusement and focused on the task at hand.
“It’s important to you, Viviana. Show me why.”
“I don’t share this. It’s for me.”
“Fair enough. Then I’ll watch.” He deepened the contact, shifting attention to her foot.
“Don’t tell me you have a foot fetish,” she retorted.
“I’m tactile. The quillery soothes you. Touch sooths me.” He applied pressure with his thumb on the bottom of her foot and she nearly groaned.
Definitely a masseuse god.
“Whatever,” she muttered, not willing to admit how aware she was of each touch.
They fell into a comfortable silence. Time passed, but she lost track of the seconds, the minutes. All that existed were the strips of paper, important interspersed with bright, bold colors.
And Jud’s touch. Firm, confident and soothing.
“Mom and Dad didn’t like that I was smart. Said I was too smart for my own good.” She bit her lip and offered a bigger morsel, one that had built up in her as important to share. “My brother was a sports jock.”
“Older,” he guessed.
“Yeah, three years. I accelerated past him before he was in the ninth grade. I graduated a year before him, but it should’ve been two.” She curled another yellow and squished. This time she used a different variation of teardrop, one she’d made up. “I went to MIT because they offered a full ride. Mom and Dad weren’t pleased, but having me away helped get attention back on him.”
“How old were you?”
“Fourteen,” she replied. “Mom hired someone to serve as my caregiver. Exceptions were extended by the school. It was tough, but then I met Mary and things got easier.”
“Jesus, you were a baby,” he muttered. “How old was she?”
“Fifteen. She…” Though it wasn’t her story to tell, she offered a morsel. “She came from a rougher background. School was an escape for her.”
“And for you.”
She froze, startled by his insight. “I had a good upbringing, two parents who loved me.”
“You don’t have to hide behind the facade, not with me.”
And that’s what disturbed her even more. She felt comfortable exposing this small part of her she’d kept tucked away. Her insides ached, as if scraped raw. She scooped up the shapes she’d formed and put them in a small box. She’d finish later, after she’d tended to business. Judson Jensen was a distraction, one that’d be gone soon enough.
“We need to look into what all we found at Jian’s, make sure his ring i
s down for good. We probably missed some stuff, so I need to get what that was to the Feds so they can clean up the mess.”
“We will, in the morning. After you’ve rested.” He took her hand. “When was the last time you really slept? I’m not talking about in the down room.”
Ages ago. Sleep didn’t come easy, not anymore. But that wasn’t his business. She’d given him too much of herself already tonight.
Oh, and you slept in his freaking arms. God, she was a flaming hot mess.
“Marshall and Dylan want to put you on a team, get you more used to functioning with a team since you’ll be here a while. What happened today can’t happen again. You saved our asses, but you went lone wolf. I heard the calls. You didn’t want Marcus and them anywhere near you because you were worried you’d take them out by mistake.”
His jaw twitched. “You’re right. I was. Old habits are hard to break.”
She and Mary had yet to look at the hard drive, mainly because she’d locked it in a vault and refused. Truth told, she was terrified of what was on it. Terrified it’d change her view of Jud. Terrified of why that view changing even mattered, because it shouldn’t. Jud shouldn’t be a bullet point in her life. Yet he was.
He’d been so certain she’d judge him for what was on the hard drive. She didn’t want to, but her words and actions already did so.
“Today scared me, Jud,” she admitted. “I was so focused on the camps and Dover, I got cocky and didn’t even consider the compound could fall under attack. I failed everyone here. I’m just lucky you were here to pick up the slack.”
“You didn’t fail anyone.” He cupped her face. “No one’s perfect. You and Mary had too much on your plate today.”
“Fallon’s team was almost taken. I still don’t have details, but I had to trust a stranger to keep them safe because I got too wrapped up in the camps and never thought he wouldn’t be okay.” She forced a deep breath. “I can’t get distracted. There’s too much at stake, too many lives relying on me to keep them safe.”
“And you think I’m distracting you.”
Yes. Maybe. “I don’t know. You’re an unknown in so many ways. I can’t take that risk.”
