Tasha nodded her approval and dusted her hands against her legs. Her shift was over, she had accomplished stage one of her mission, and she could head back to camp. Satisfaction at a job well done caused a smile to spread across her face. She hadn’t accidentally destroyed any buildings today—who knew lighting reindeer farts would end with an explosion in the gun arsenal—no one she’d come in contact with had been hurt and despite her Commander’s threat, she still got to carry around her badass gun and wear the rockin’ B.E.L.L.S. uniform. She might not be the best B.E.L.L., but she was still a member of the team. At least for another day. And if she continued to have great days like today, getting off disciplinary probation wouldn’t be far behind. Her mother might not be happy about her staying on the force, but mom would just have to get over it. Tasha would do whatever it took to maintain her status as a B.E.L.L., and what she lacked in talent or skill, she’d make up in sheer determination and tenacity.
Heading east, she trudged through the snow to the temporary shelter she’d created out of an ice outcrop. Why most of the other B.E.L.L.S. preferred to sleep in tents was beyond her. With Cupid and his Vinions terrorising the team and endangering the entire mission, the last place she wanted to be was in a tent where she’d have to use magic to fend off the fiends. Though she was much bigger than the average elf, she was only half-elf, and had half of a full-blooded elf’s magic-wielding ability. Using enough magic to protect her tent would leave her weak and vulnerable.
The faint jingle of distant bells caught Tasha’s attention. She looked to the sky, placing her hand over her eyes to shield them from the sun’s relentless low-lying rays, and caught sight of a reindeer messenger coming towards her at lightning speed.
“Peppermint sticks! Not again,” she groaned as her tummy balled into knots. A messenger rider could only mean one thing—a long-distance call from Mom, making this the fifth since this morning. Would her mother ever let her be?
Tasha quickly looked right then left, desperate for some place to hide, but there was no place to run. The area was as desolate as the Grinch’s frozen heart. She was doomed to another ration of guilt for not being a toymaker like the other “good” elf girls.
Mothers!
A shower of ice shards and snow flew onto Tasha, covering her face and the entire length of her body as the reindeer and its rider came to a screeching stop before her. She coughed, unable to breathe through the icy onslaught. When she opened her eyes, she held back a second curse. Reginald Redberry, the biggest prick of the North Pole, jumped off the reindeer’s back. With a flick of his wrist, he produced a comb out of thin air, then fully extended his arm and slicked back his overly gelled black hair. When he finished, he tossed the comb up three feet where it flashed into a small ball of light and disappeared. Despite the fact Reginald was a grade-A jerk and womaniser, he had more control of his magic than Tasha ever dreamed of having, and was probably the most popular, sought after male elf in Christmas Town. Why she never joined the Reggie bandwagon like everyone else was beyond her. Perhaps good taste was a by-product of being half-elf and half-human.
Reginald swaggered his four-foot self up to within inches of her, his leech-like eyes raking over her body like a wolf sizing up his next meal. “Yo, Tasha,” he said, adjusting his pint-sized package. Unfortunately, the red tunic he wore wasn’t long enough to cover the all too apparent bulge beneath his green tights. “You’re lookin’ very good today. Hot even.” Though he spoke directly to her, the lecherous elf’s gaze never went higher than her breasts.
The knots in Tasha’s belly tightened then turned over as though she’d just eaten a fried butter sandwich topped with drizzled melted grease. Reginald might be the stuff of dreams to many young and foolish female elves up at the other pole, but Tasha had never bought into the hype. This was probably the reason he’d tried so hard to get into her pants since the moment they’d met ten years ago. Reginald had rarely ever been turned down and he certainly didn’t give up easily.
The temptation to take a step back and create more distance between her and the boob-gazer was strong, but Tasha held her ground. She was a B.E.L.L. after all. If she was ever going to develop a reputation of being a badass, she had to stand up for herself. “If you have a message to deliver, Reggie, hand it over.” Tasha held out her palm and leant in even closer to Reggie. Let him be the first person to back down.
He scanned the surroundings, then thrust his chin towards the direction she’d just left. “What’s the rush? I see you’ve already marked a possible spot for the new toy factory.” An oily grin pulled at the ends of his thin lips. “We’re all alone in the wilds of the South Pole. Two grown elves with nothing but time on their hands. I can think of at least fifty things we can do to pass the time. And we both know you’ve been wanting a little piece of Reggie for a long time now.”
Tasha rolled her eyes. “Unfortunately, all you have is something little, Reggie. I’ve seen a bigger twig and berries on a holly bush.” She bent down and shook her open hand in front of Reggie’s face. “The snowball. That’s all I want.”
“I love a dame who plays hard to get. Frickin’ turns me on.” He stood back and pointed to the small tent in his tights. “Look at what you do to me. I’ve got a monster in my pants over here, and you’ve got the only wookie cave that can satisfy it. Don’t make me suffer, Sugar Plum. Give Reggie some of your sweet stuff.”
Her stomach completed a full somersault, a half-gainer, and a triple salchow. The sight of his hard-on was enough to make her lose her sugar cookies. “The only one suffering right now is me, I promise you.”
Reggie cocked his shoulders up and down while fingering the fabric of his tunic’s collar, looking like a lusty member of the mini mafia. “Then let me put you out of your misery.” He snapped his fingers and suddenly a king-sized bed with zebra-striped sheets materialised. The abrupt and unexpected appearance of the headboard and mattress startled his reindeer. The poor beast stamped a hoof against the ice-hardened snow and shook his head, causing the bells attached to his collar to ring loudly.
Hearing the unexpected jingle of bells helped Tasha refocus from the ridiculous bed back to the ridiculous elf who’d made the bed appear. “Did your mother drop you on your head when you were a baby, or is your insanity a recent development?” She placed both hands on her hips and drew up to her full height, knowing very well she would tower over the little twerp. “Listen Reggie, I’ve had a real man before. One with a penis almost as long as your arm. No offence, but I just don’t think I can ever go back to sharing a bed with an elf whose dick is the size of a stubby pencil. Something that small isn’t exactly satisfying, if you know what I mean.”
Instantly his Romeo facade morphed into one of a WWF wrestler. Reggie pushed a pointed finger at Tasha, coming wickedly close to touching her chest.
“What? You saying you fucked a human?” he asked, not bothering to hide the disdain in his tone.
His less-than-happy response caught Tasha by surprise. For the first time in the history of their one-sided relationship, Tasha had apparently hit one of Reggie’s sore spots, making him angry. The sudden change in his demeanour was a scary side of him she’d never seen before. A small warning bell tinkled in her head and goose pimples raced up and down her arms. Before she could utter a response, one to calm the little man down, rage bloomed red on his round face and indignation reflected in his dark eyes.
“Anyone who fucks humans is an abomination to elves everywhere.” Reggie’s nostrils flared and he pursed his lips. “But then again, your mother did. I guess the wrapping paper doesn’t fly far from the present, does it, Sugar Plum?” He pulled a glowing red snowball from his messenger bag and threw it at Tasha’s feet. The once perfectly round globe splattered into a fractured heap. “There’s your frickin’ call.” Reggie turned on the heel of his pointed-toe boot and hopped on his reindeer, his back to her. He gathered the deer’s reins and made as though to snap them, but stopped and turned. “You disrespected me, Tasha Tingle. I
ain’t gonna forget this. Somehow, some day, some way, I’m gonna pay you back, Sugar Plum. Count on it.” And without another word, he flew off in a cloud of powdery snow.
Tasha sucked in a breath of air to calm her pounding heart and immediately became disgusted with herself. It’s not as if she’d been in any danger, not even for a moment! She was a damned B.E.L.L., for Santa’s sake. She trained long, hard hours learning self-defence and offensive manoeuvres to protect herself and others. Now look at her. Her knees shook so badly she wasn’t even sure she could walk straight.
Irritation grew like a hot fireball in her gut. Her reaction to her first real conflict had ended with her quaking where she stood. No doubt about it, she had to be the most pathetic B.E.L.L. on the force. Maybe her mother was right. She would be better off working in the factory making Baby Spit It Up dolls and Bang’em Up cars.
Out of pure frustration, she kicked the big bed with the toe of her white, fur-lined boot, sending ripples of pain up her long leg. “Damn it, Reggie. Don’t think I’m going to clean up your idiotic attempt at seduction by magically waving this bed away. This is your mess. I wouldn’t waste my magic on you if my life depended on it!”
He couldn’t have heard a word of her bravado, but yelling took a bit of the bite out of his stinging parting words. At least, that’s what she wanted to believe. The truth of the matter was, she did fuck a human, and having a cock as large as Axel Cole’s inside her had been the most memorable sexual experience of her life. Well, not including the time she made it with the two hot Maintenance elves working at the sleigh shop. Doing it doggy style with one guy while giving head to another in the back of Santa’s ride had blown her mind and left her wanting to try even more interesting combinations. Would she ever be able to look at that sled again without both blushing and getting a little creamy? Probably not.
Yet, despite the fun the ménage had been, Axel Cole had handed her a reality check she couldn’t overlook. Until she’d experienced her first human-sized dick, she’d never known just how important size was. Especially for a bigger than normal elf like herself. All the stupid sayings like, “It doesn’t matter now deep you plough, it’s how long you stay in the garden,” were pure deer hockey. And when the thick, nine-inch shaft was attached to a tall man with a broad chest and muscular arms that reached all the way around her, well who wouldn’t prefer a human over an elf? To her dismay, there weren’t that many big guys, elf or otherwise, like Axel Cole at the North Pole. Though she’d known he’d eventually have to leave, finding interest in anyone else simply hadn’t happened. Axel had been the most incredible, intriguing man she’d ever met, in addition to being one of the best lovers. Just thinking of his whisky-coloured eyes, wide shoulders, and thick cock made her blood heat and her pussy wet in anticipation. The man had been phenomenal.
Unfortunately, anticipation and her pink Pleasure Pump Three Thousand were as close to sex as she’d experienced lately. Worth its weight in candy canes, the vibrator was sexually satisfying and definitely fun in the shower, but the dildo couldn’t snuggle next to her or keep her warm at night. The fun toy would never be able to help her feel ‘normal’ in a land full of elves who were only tall enough to reach her chest. And after sharing a bed with Axel, not having the sexy hulk of a man around made her days and nights empty and lonesome. Thank goodness for the B.E.L.L.S. She could easily be the worst warrior elf on the force, but without being a part of the hard-hitting team, she probably would have gone abominable by now.
Tasha stared at the scattered bits of her snow call spread around her feet. She could scoop all the pieces together and use a bit of magic to make the phone work. Or, she could later tell her mom that the call was dropped and she wasn’t able to receive it. The latter was technically true. At least a part of it was. No fibbing there, and certainly nothing that would show up on Santa’s Naughty list. Mom couldn’t fault her with this excuse. Heck, mom could even get Reggie fired for ruining the call.
Tasha laughed aloud, enjoying how the physical effort lifted her spirits. Getting Reggie laid off would serve the jerk right.
Feeling better, she deftly skirted around the king-sized bed as if it was covered in cooties, which may have been true, and continued marching back to her cave. While debating whether to have plum pudding or fruitcake for dinner, she noticed a dark bank of clouds swiftly rolling and churning to her left and the sudden rising of the wind. Out of habit, she reached down and felt for her pistol, reassuring herself the gun was still there. She couldn’t be sure from this distance, but the storm’s strange bluish-grey colour and prickly gusts had all the earmarks of an attack by Cupid or his Vinions. Getting caught in the dastardly sex god’s blizzard without any more protection than her gun and no backup would mean certain capture or worse, and she didn’t even want to think about what the or worse could be. After accidentally stepping on and breaking General Red’s antique, first edition golden bow, Tasha definitely sat squarely on the General’s shit list. Red wasn’t exactly notorious for being forgiving, and when he had said he would kill her if he ever got his hands on her, she had no doubt he’d make good on his threat.
Slipping and sliding on the icy terrain, Tasha ran as quickly as her booted feet could carry her. Beads of sweat formed on her brow. Her heart clanged loudly, as though her chest held a dozen toy monkeys banging cymbals. She stopped for a moment to catch her breath and scan the area for some type of stronghold she could hide behind and make her stand. For as far as she could see, nothing but snowdrifts and clefts in the ice dotted the white landscape.
She was screwed.
With little time left before the storm overtook her and very few options to choose from, Tasha stopped and fell to her knees. She scraped up as much snow as she could hold, then concentrated on nothing but the words to a transportation spell and an image of her ice cave. Calling on every ounce of magic she possessed, she closed her eyes, blew the powdery crystals into the air and shouted, “Creo ego vini!”
Tasha opened her eyes.
She hadn’t moved an inch, but a pretty bouquet of yellow and blue flowers lay not more than a foot from her knees. Its sweet perfume permeated the air.
This is ridiculous, she thought as she huffed out a puff of frozen breath. Her ability to use magic was worse than she’d imagined.
“Concentrate, Tasha,” she said aloud. “You can do this.”
Tasha scooped up another handful of snow. Her hands shook so badly, she could barely hold enough of the white stuff to blow into the air. “Agito ego tenus domus!”
In an instant, she was gone, passing through time and space in a rainbow of flashing, disorienting lights.
Tasha reappeared in her ice cave and collapsed onto the floor like a rag doll. A groan sounding like a ghost with acid indigestion passed through her lips. Though not hurt, her body ached and she knew moving in her weakened state was impossible. Using so much magic had completely drained her, making her limbs useless. Her bed sat less than ten feet away, but she would have to rest where she lay for at least thirty minutes. By then, she would be rejuvenated enough to at least crawl on top of the mattress and slide under the heavenly sheets until she could completely recover.
Her elf ears detected the rustle of clothing and she sensed movement from the other side of the room. Her ice cave was known only to herself and the other B.E.L.L.S., and her team-mates were already accounted for at various points on the Pole. No doubt a stranger lurked in her room, and a stranger meant danger. Especially if the stranger ended up being one of Cupid’s gang.
She willed herself to rise and protect herself, but her limp body refused to cooperate. With extreme effort, she lifted her eyelids, enabling her to dimly see through the narrow slits. Her eyes, unfocused and unable to see much more than blurs of colour, caught the advance of a large, shadowy object. As the dim blob crept closer, Tasha’s breathing quickened, preparing for a scream. She opened her mouth and attempted to force her voice from her lungs. What came out was only a raspy wisp of breath.
/> All alone, weak, and completely defenceless, she was little more than a lame deer waiting for slaughter. Terror gripped her. Tasha’s chest tightened and a hot tear trickled down her cheek. Though the Vinions generally used heart tips on their arrows, the jealous rage Cupid held against Santa had caused the love master to use less-than-loving force against the B.E.L.L. team. If the being in her cave was General Red, she was a goner.
Closing her eyes, Tasha sucked in one final breath and prepared for the blow of a Vinion’s arrow right through the heart.
“Tasha?”
The voice was male and General Red was as female as they came.
Who in the name of Rudolph…
The loping thumps of booted feet drew closer and stopped only inches away from her face. Tasha quietly blew out her breath and cracked open her eyelids. A pair of white Mickey’s filled her limited view.
“You’re a delusion.”
The sound of the male’s low rumbling voice reverberated off the ice walls like a haunting whisper. He placed a knee beside Tasha and brushed back a lock of hair from her face.
“This can’t be real. You can’t be here,” the masculine voice continued.
Again, Tasha searched her memory, trying to locate the person belonging to that voice. There was only one person who spoke with such a deep timbre and subtle sensuality.
Axel Cole.
Chapter Three
Her heart loop-de-looped inside her chest, exerting her weary body even more. If Red’s Vinion arrow didn’t strike her dead today, her over-excitement at hearing her favourite lover’s voice most likely would. But, sweet St. Nick, he was worth having a heart attack over.
Christmas Goes Camo Page 8
