by Lissa Kasey
“Got to get to the lodge. Have to tell Sei, it’s not normal.” I rushed out into the snow, not waiting for his reply. Ice pellets smacked me around in an icy Jack Frost grip. Nothing happy holidays about this blast. The white flurry blew from every side. I stumbled through the deepening snow toward the spare Ski-Doo. We’d left it on the other side of Sei and Gabe’s cabin. If I could get the sled, Jamie and I had a chance.
Another gust hit me hard enough to knock me back into the snow. The swirling flakes blew heavily enough that I could hardly see anything as I struggled to get up. Which way was the other cabin? Hell, which way was the lodge? I moved toward something in the distance, hoping it was one of the cabins.
“Kelly?” Jamie’s voice sounded so far away. The raging wind made the words roll from different directions.
“Jamie?” I called back, trying to make out his location. Another step and I sunk further into the snow. It hadn’t been this deep just an hour before. How fast was it coming down? We’d have more than five feet by morning if this kept up.
As I shoved my legs through the snow, they felt like lead icicles. I should have put my snowsuit back on. But I had to get to the lodge. Had to tell Sei it wasn’t normal. Something kept muttering in my head, “It’s not normal.”
I stumbled again, falling face first in the snow. Floundering to the surface felt like drowning, and I’d had a few close calls over the years. A bad muscle cramp could take out the best swimmer. The cold, however, far outranked the heavy weight on your chest when water filled your lungs, because water killed you quickly. Frigid temps like these sent pain through your limbs, slowly took your consciousness, and finally, your life. The stinging cold nearly succeeded in taking me into the abyss when strong arms yanked me upward and began dragging me out of the snow.
By the time the cabin door closed behind us and the heat of the billowing fire hit me, I was shivering so bad my teeth chattered.
“That was a damn fool thing to do,” Jamie growled at me and started pulling off all my wet clothes. I tried to protest when he pushed my wet jeans and boxers down and pressed himself against me. When that didn’t ease the trembling, he stripped out of his own things, leaving his boxers on, wrapped the down blanket around us, and sat us in front of the fire. Had I not been freezing to death I’m sure I would have embarrassed myself in the arms of a very attractive and mostly naked man.
“S-sorry,” I said. “Have to tell S-Seiran. S’not natural.”
“We have to get you warm first. What’s not natural?”
“Storm,” I mumbled into his chest. He felt like a furnace burning against me. And I had my face pressed to his left pec, just inches from a tasty looking nipple. His arms, with bulging biceps, veins winding their way artistically down them, shoulders strong enough to carry a ten-point buck with ease, and sculpted abs, gave me something other than the cold to focus on.
I longed to count the defined muscles beneath all that sun-kissed skin. His dark nipples looked like bits of coffee with a dash of cream. How would they taste? Would his skin be salty or sweet? The cold that made me shake, made me sluggish enough to keep from reaching out for a lick of those mocha buds.
“What do you mean the storm isn’t natural? We’re in the middle of nowhere in northern Minnesota. Storms happen all the time. Bad ones.” Jamie’s voice rumbled from his chest where I rested my face. I couldn’t make out his tone because his body heat made me sleepy. “I don’t feel any magic in it.”
“Not natural,” I repeated. Magic or not, something out of the ordinary was happening, even if Minnesota was known for getting awful storms out of nowhere.
“How?”
“Lots of pressure letting go, but no build up.”
“Like an earthquake?”
“Feels like a living thing.”
“All magic is a living thing. All elements are as well. Is this different than a bad rainstorm?” Jamie seemed to be searching my face for something.
I shrugged, glad the feeling began to return to my limbs. I wondered if I had frostbite. But the feeling of the fury outside still beat at me hard enough that I clung to Jamie, not caring if all my fingers or toes fell off. The water in the air almost seemed to call for help as it was frozen and tossed about fiercely. “Talk to me, please.”
Jamie sat silently for a few seconds before saying, “I’m not much of a talker. That’s more Gabe’s thing. Maybe you should talk. Tell me why I find Sei in your bed most mornings now?”
I sighed. “I’m having nightmares, that’s all.”
“From when Sei was kidnapped?”
“Yeah. He wakes me up, curls up with me, and I sleep better. It’s no big deal.”
“You were in love with him once.”
“Nah. It was a crush. I get that now. It was a fantasy. I dreamt of taking care of him before I even knew him. But I could never be what he needs.”
Jamie shifted my weight in his lap and pulled the blanket tighter around us. “You’re a nice guy. Happy, smart, with the exception of running out into a snowstorm, and solid, you’re not bouncing from relationship to relationship, job to job. Sei needs those things in his life, even if it’s not in an intimate way.”
“I wish I’d approached him years ago. Maybe it would have stopped all the stuff from happening. Maybe Sei would be better on the path to healing. I shouldn’t have followed the crowd and kept my distance. He just seemed so different.” I settled deeper into Jamie’s embrace, enjoying his heat and feeling my body light up in a somewhat embarrassing way. “I want people to stop trying to hurt him. He needs a chance at a normal life.”
“I agree.”
“Hmm.” I looked up at him. His blond hair tickled my bare shoulders. “Does it ever bug you to see Sei and Gabe together?”
“No. Gabe treats Seiran like he’s the most important person in the world and at the same time doesn’t let him get away with anything. I can’t think of anyone who’d have a better handle on Sei than Gabe.”
For a guy who was so messed up in his perception of the world, Seiran sure had a lot of great things going for him. I had a handful of siblings, and while my mom wasn’t upfront and angry about me being gay, most of my siblings were. Jamie obviously had no problem with it. “You’re a great big brother.”
He laughed hard enough that we both shook. “Sei calls me a stalker. Says I’m creepy ’cause I pay too close attention to him. He hates when I dote on him.”
“His view of the world is a little skewed.”
“Yeah. We’re working on that.” He got up, lifting me like I weighed nothing, and carried us to his bed, which was closer, before burying us both beneath a mound of blankets.
“And this bed’s just right!” I laughed, cramming myself up against him.
“Watch it, Goldilocks.”
The storm didn’t feel so terrible with Jamie blocking the rest of the world out. I wrapped myself around him, basking in his heat and praying he didn’t cry straight-boy foul and push me away.
He settled into the single pillow and closed his eyes. His even breaths helped lull me to a deep dreamless sleep.
Chapter Four
Jamie THE panic of not being able to find Kelly for those few minutes in the blizzard nearly had me screaming. It was like being shot and watching Sei being taken away all over again. The fear and sense of helplessness was not something I handled well. If not for my nurse training I’d probably have been a puddle of panic on the cabin floor. I tried to not think too hard on the feelings. He was becoming family, after all. I had always had a strong desire to take care of my family.
Lying with his naked body pressed beneath mine made me want very unbrotherly things. His trim form, muscularly toned legs and thighs, strong shoulders, and flat stomach had my mind wandering in inappropriate directions. At least I kept my hands in check. He needed comfort, not my big paws molesting him.
The terror on his face when he’d fled for the door made my heart pound. He’d been awake, shivering by the fire moments before. That very
same tremble that haunted Sei for months. Watching it build had been a slow study in torture. But just like with my little brother, I didn’t know what caused it so had no way to prevent it. As a registered nurse I knew a lot about medicine and illness. What was happening to them wasn’t biological. Maybe I should have studied psychiatry instead.
Kelly shifted in his sleep, making a little pained sound that was like a stab in my chest. I relaxed my grip on him, fearing I was hurting him. After he’d fallen asleep, I’d searched him from head to toe for any signs of frostbite. He’d been clean, but the tremor returned each time I stopped touching him. Now I held him tightly, like sleep could steal him from me again.
The wind outside blew strong enough to make the cabin creak, and snow piled to the edges of the two windows. I stopped checking when the white flakes built midway up. My ears kept searching for the sound of Gabe and Sei’s snowmobile returning, keeping me awake. Gabe’s strong sense of survival would keep them at the lodge. He’d keep Sei safe at all costs. I had faith in him.
If sleep would find me, I’d have faith in myself to keep from seducing the man in my arms.
Chapter Five
Kelly
Waking up in the heat of someone’s arms felt like heaven.
Even Sei hadn’t been this sweet warmth that was wrapped around me. The handful of boyfriends I’d had in my life had been quick night trysts that followed with a “Good-bye, see you tomorrow in class” sort of thing. But feeling someone warm beside me was definitely a step up from lonely morning wood. And oh, did I have wood.
Jamie’s weight leaned against my back, his arm wrapped around my waist. He felt happy to be there, and I was more than thrilled to be so entwined with him. But I was pretty sure he’d freak out if he woke up with a stiffy pressing into my butt like it wanted to dig a new channel. And what a stiffy it was.
I tried to ease out from under his arm, though it was like trying to move an anchor without a wedge. Crap.
Well, what the hell? It wasn’t like he was going to throw me out in the snow. I wiggled my butt back, caressing his erection with my ass cheeks, and ground into him. It damn near tripled against my backside. Holy crap, he was huge!
He’d kept his boxers on last night when we’d cuddled to get me warm. Now I was dying of curiosity. I leaned back into his chest and tried to turn as much as I could to say, “I can take care of that if you’d like.” Oh please say yes. Even if it was just a hand job, I’d have memories to get me off for months.
He opened a groggy eye at me, staring like he didn’t understand, but his expression was an open book of sleepiness and lust. I rubbed against him again. His face turned beet red, and he leapt away from me, taking the blankets with him.
“Shit. I’m sorry.” He hurriedly stuffed his legs into his jeans.
“No hardship on my end.” I stretched and felt the air with my magic for moisture. It was heavy and strong outside but no longer being whipped around. How much snow had fallen? The fireplace still blazed, so it hadn’t blocked the chimney.
I reached down to my bag and pulled a clean pair of boxer briefs over my still wanting cock. No need to torment the guy. “Don’t mind the wood on my end. I don’t think I’ve ever slept with a guy as hot as you. Even if it’s just sleep.”
“Seiran thinks I’m gross.”
I blinked at him, knowing Seiran did not think anything close to that. “Huh?”
“He thinks I’m gross because my muscles are too big. He says I smell sometimes.”
“Everyone smells sometimes. You’ve got way too much brother worship going on. No one should change who they are just to please someone else. Not even their little brother.” And besides, I happened to like the smell of a man after a good workout, and big muscles.
“I just want him to be happy.”
“And when you’re smelly he’s not happy?”
Jamie shrugged, looking very young. I was beginning to think Sei wasn’t the only one who hadn’t had a great childhood.
I crossed the room and wrapped my arms around him in a gentle hug. “Sei loves you, even if he doesn’t express himself well. Whether you have muscles or are smelly. He’s just not good at showing it.”
He let me hold him for a few seconds before pulling away, looking uncomfortable and trying to pull his mask together. I watched the transformation, wondering how I could get him to break out of that protective shell for me. “What do you want for breakfast? We have chili and sandwiches.”
“How about we get wild and crazy and eat them both?” We would need the energy to get back to the lodge, and Jamie needed the distraction.
“Okay.” He put together the food with that soldier-like concentration that he had whenever doing domestic stuff. When the chili was heating, he pulled on the rest of his clothes and ran his fingers through his long blond hair. He wove little braids through the front parts and must have noticed me watching because he said, “Braiding it keeps it out of my face. And when it’s cold like this, I like to keep my hair down for warmth.”
I nodded like I knew what it meant to have long hair. Mine had never gotten longer than a Beatles shag. By the time we were both full and dressed, my watch read after 11:00 a.m. Had Sei and Gabe made it back last night? Sei hadn’t come knocking, and I really hoped they were okay. The cell phones got no signal. Even the weather radio stopped working.
“Shit,” I heard Jamie mutter, so I looked back to him. He’d opened the door, and the snow piled to nearly the top of the frame.
“I’ve only seen that happen on TV.”
Jamie began to dig through the random chests and storage until he pulled out a pair of snowshoes, then dug around until he found a second pair. “How good are you at snowshoeing?”
“We’ll find out, won’t we?” It was going to be a long trip. I packed up some clothes in my bag. “There’s like five and a half feet of snow out there. This is insane.”
“Which is why we need the shoes. Be sure to put your suit on. I’m going to go check the other cabin.” He bundled himself up and climbed out the door, creating a ramp up to the top of the snow. I hurried to douse the fire and gather anything I could carry easily. When he returned, he pulled off his goggles and snow mask. “They didn’t come back last night. Must have seen the storm and stayed at the lodge. Let’s get going. The temp is dropping, and we don’t have enough food for more than a few days of this.”
Once Jamie had most everything strapped to his back and I was bundled in my snow gear, we headed for the lodge. He had an old-fashioned compass since the satellite GPS wasn’t catching a signal. We seemed to be pointed in the right direction, so I wasn’t worried.
The day moved quickly but felt like something you’d see on the movie screen. We crossed the layers of snow. The temperature dropped, sucking the last bits of moisture out of the air. We picked our way carefully along the top of the snow, surrounded by what looked like Christmas trees. I was sure they were probably just the tops of old pines.
I recited my picks for this year’s fantasy football league in my head a couple hundred times, trying not to concentrate too hard on watching Jamie move. He trudged through the snow like some sort of survivalist pro. Seemed to know when the snow was too soft, or even if the path would become too difficult to navigate. Before my stomach rumbled with hunger, he handed me jerky and a handful of trail mix.
When the lodge finally came into view, my legs had been aching for awhile. The feeling of the cold air made my face numb, and I was sure I had windburn. The massive wall of windows was a dream come true. Though the snow had blown up against it and we probably could have walked right up to the second floor, we made our way around to the entrance, finding it surprisingly clear. I’d never been so grateful for heat than I was the instant we stepped inside and were hit with a blast of the fire’s warmth.
“Jamie! Kelly!” Seiran ran through the lobby toward us. Jamie was already stripping off his snowshoes and gear. Sei threw himself at him, giving him a fierce hug. Jamie held on a little longer
than most would have, but I couldn’t recall ever seeing them hug before, so maybe it was their first.
Sei let go and turned to me, giving me a hug too. “You’re okay? The hotel owners have been trying to reach someone to help all day. The radios are blocked, and the phones aren’t getting a signal. We were going to send search teams out looking for you.”
“We’re fine, Sei,” Jamie said. “Nothing some food and a warm fire won’t fix.” He glanced behind his little brother at a duo who seemed to follow closely behind Sei and had a hard time keeping the frown off his face. “Who are your friends?”
They looked a little alike, one male and one female. Both had rich brown hair and dark blue eyes. The woman was delicate and prim, like she was used to having people do things for her, and the guy was tall, wiry, with tattoos visible at his neck and wrist. He had a rough and ready stance that seemed to ask for trouble. He reminded me of someone I once knew, but I couldn’t place the face. Neither seemed the type of people that Sei took up with.
“Cat and Connie. They were renting cabins too but came back for dinner last night. When the storm hit, we all decided to stay here,” Seiran said. The shake already appeared in his hands.
“Catherine,” the woman said.
“Constantine,” the guy told us. And the name brought it all back. Ninth grade boyfriend. Gangly Con had grown up into a troublemaking player. He wasn’t the muscular model like Jamie, or an exotic beauty like Sei, but his spiked hair and colorful ink gave a wildness to him that just didn’t mesh with the guy I used to know.
“I’m Kelly, and this is Jamie.” I shook Con’s hand like I didn’t know him. We had not ended on good terms. Was the girl his pretend girlfriend? If so, he hadn’t changed much.
Jamie had already dismissed them. His concern was all for Seiran. He dug out a thermos and handed it to his little brother. “We should get lunch. You need to eat. Have you taken your pill?”
Sei clutched Jamie’s sleeve. “We can go now.” He seemed more skittish than usual, but being alone at the lodge, since Gabe couldn’t travel around freely, would do that to him. After a couple of weeks living with him I could read him pretty well. His body language and facial expressions were the most honest of anyone I knew.
