by Avery Ford
He wanted to wait for Ben to bring up the possibility of a second date, but since luck seemed to be in Chase’s favor, he decided to just go for it. He took a deep breath and sent another message.
Does that mean we’re on for another date?
Even though he only had to wait a few seconds for a reply, Chase was still holding his breath the entire time. Ben’s answer was either going to make or break the rest of Chase’s time in Baxter Springs. He wasn’t normally a superstitious man, but Chase actually crossed his fingers when Ben’s reply came through.
Definitely. I still owe you for dinner, remember?
And since last night was on you, I have something in mind for next time.
Chase was in the middle of typing a follow-up question when another text from Ben interrupted.
It’s a secret, though, so don’t ask. Just come over tomorrow around 6 p.m.
Chase shook his head. Ben knew him too well. And there was no doubt Ben knew that keeping the details a secret would absolutely drive Chase crazy for the next thirty hours.
But it would also be the best kind of crazy.
Lying back against his pillow, Chase sent his reply.
It’s a date. I’ll be there. The suspense is already killing me.
Chase couldn’t help but laugh when all he got in return was a little winking, kissing-face emoji. He hadn’t expected anything else, though. And if he was being honest, the wait wasn’t going to be that bad.
If it was important to Ben, Chase would gladly wait for days.
He’d already spent years thinking about what this would be like. He could definitely make it a few more hours.
Even though Chase would have been more than happy to sit up in his room and pass the hours daydreaming and fantasizing until he saw Ben again, there was one other thing that would always bring him downstairs to socialize with his family.
His mother’s cooking was a treat that he’d been deprived of for years, and aside from the couple of times he’d eaten with Ben, Chase hadn’t missed a meal at home since he’d been back in town.
“I thought you’d be up earlier,” Patricia said, sipping her coffee at the dining room table as Chase descended the stairs. “Unless you were exaggerating all those times you said you had to be awake before dawn with the Marines.”
“Nope.” Chase yawned as if on cue as he headed straight for the kitchen. “That was all true, unfortunately. Something smells amazing in here, Mom. What did you make?”
He hadn’t realized just how hungry he was until all the smells of a full-on breakfast hit his nose. His stomach growled loudly as he took a plate from the cabinet and started poking around at the covered pots and pans on the oven.
“See for yourself,” she called from the dining room. “I ate breakfast with your father before he had to leave for work, so help yourself to everything that’s left in there.”
She didn’t have to tell him twice. Chase was already loading his plate with eggs, bacon, biscuits and gravy. It took all of his self-control just to make it into the dining room with his plate before taking a bite.
“You outdid yourself on this breakfast, Mom,” he said, between bites. “Thank you.”
“I hope it’s all still warm.” She shook her head slightly as she watched her son eat. “Not that it seems to matter…”
And she was right. The food was still plenty warm enough for Chase, but he would’ve still happily eaten it if everything had been completely cold. It was just that good.
He nodded, unable to say anything more with his mouth full.
“Did you have fun with Ben last night?” she asked.
Chase nodded and sputtered from nearly choking on a biscuit at the unexpected question. He was certain she was just making conversation, but she had no idea just how much fun he’d had with Ben the night before.
Once he was finished choking, he was glad she had gotten up and hurried into the kitchen to pour him a glass of milk. At least it gave him some time to figure out how to answer.
“Here, Chase,” she said, handing him the glass. “My goodness, you should slow down while you’re eating, dear. It’s not like the food is going anywhere, and there’s plenty more where that came from. Now, tell me about last night.”
“Right. Sorry,” he said, giving her a sheepish grin once he was able to speak again. “I can’t help it. Everything tastes so good, and I’m used to just having a few minutes to eat. My stomach thinks it’s gonna miss out if I don’t hurry.”
While everything he said was technically true, he knew she wouldn’t let him keep stalling forever. She would just keep asking about Ben until he gave a satisfactory answer.
“Take your time, dear,” she said, then inclined her head as she waited for him to continue.
Shit.
There really wasn’t any way to get out of this conversation, was there?
The problem was that he didn’t want to lie, but he wasn’t ready to tell her—or anyone else, for that matter—the whole truth about his agreement with Ben. As far as Chase’s parents knew, they were just two guys, hanging out like they used to back in the day.
Not dating.
Not kissing.
Definitely not doing anything with their cocks out.
And he sure as hell wasn’t going to tell his mother any of those things. He was pretty mortified just thinking about it in front of her.
“Last night was good,” he said, finally. “Fun—we had fun, uh… just watched a movie and… stuff.”
Fuck.
Was he sweating? Could she see the half-truth in his eyes? Why had he always been so bad at lying?
His brother, Jake, could stay calm as a cucumber while he told their parents all kinds of made-up shit, but Chase had never picked up that particular skill.
Now he was wishing he had made more of an effort.
“A movie and stuff?” she repeated. “What kind of stuff? I think it was pretty late when you got in, wasn’t it?”
What had started as an innocent question was turning into something else, right before his eyes. And it was all his fault. By dodging the question, Chase knew he was just making her more curious.
Still, there was no way she suspected what really went on last night.
Hopefully.
He just wasn’t ready to go there. Not now. Not with his family. And especially not if it was going to end in a few days anyway.
Why should he try to explain how he felt about Ben now, when there would be nothing more to tell once he moved to New York? That just seemed like a lot of extra headaches all the way around, and for nothing in return.
“Was it late?” he asked, trying to sound nonchalant as he quickly took another bite. The more he ate, the less he could talk, after all. “I guess time just got away from us. I tried to be quiet coming in so you and Dad didn’t wake up, though. Sorry if I was too loud.”
“That’s okay, dear,” she said, reaching over to pat his hand on the table. “Someday, you’ll have children of your own, and you’ll know the feeling of not being able to fall asleep until you know they’ve made it home safely.”
“I’ll probably get paid back for a lot of the trouble I’ve caused if I ever have kids,” he said with a rueful grin. “But you know I never want you to worry about me, especially if I’m out with Ben. We never get too crazy, I promise.”
“I know,” she said. “You boys have always been a good influence on each other. That’s why I’ve always liked having Ben around. He’s good for you, Chase.”
Chase nodded. He certainly wasn’t going to argue with her on that point. Ben was good for him, and always had been.
He just wondered if she’d feel the same way if she knew the whole truth.
Chapter 12
Ben
Ben knew better than to think he’d make it through the day without Eric asking about the date with Chase. And, if he was being honest, he didn’t mind giving a few details this time.
A few select details.
There were defin
itely a couple of things Ben wanted to keep all to himself.
But he had already been forced to give a brief explanation after Eric saw the two of them kissing in the middle of the pasture a couple of days ago, and Eric had seemed genuinely happy for Ben to go on a date with Chase.
It would almost be cruel not to give him at least a quick rundown of the night before.
Ben just hadn’t expected to be grilled for details within five minutes of their day getting started.
“I stopped at the gas station and picked us up a couple of coffees,” Eric nodded toward the cup holder between the seats of his truck. “Yours is on the right.”
Most days, Ben would drive his own truck out to the pasture behind the house to start working, and Eric would show up a little later. The fact that Eric was waiting in the driveway when Ben walked out the front door this morning should have been his first clue that something was up.
The surprise cup of coffee made it official.
“Thanks,” Ben said, sipping the still-too-hot drink as Eric drove through the pasture to where they’d been working the day before. “What’s the occasion?”
Ben knew good and well what the occasion was. His brother wanted the gossip, plain and simple. But Ben wasn’t going to just offer it up on a silver platter. If Eric wanted the details of Ben’s date, he was going to have to ask about it himself.
“What do you mean?” Eric asked, feigning innocence. “A guy can’t go out and buy his brother a cup of shitty gas station coffee just because? There has to be an occasion?”
“No, there doesn’t have to be,” Ben conceded. “But there is an occasion, isn’t there? You don’t just show up with coffee first thing in the morning. And you definitely don’t show up waiting for me before I’ve even started working. That stuff just doesn’t happen in real life. So… I’ll ask again. What’s the occasion, bro? Something you want to know?”
Eric shot him a sideways glance as they pulled up in front of the old pole barn. Ben knew that it was killing him to have to ask about the date, but not knowing was killing him even more. There just weren’t too many exciting things happening in either of their lives lately, so for one of them to go on a date out of the blue was sort of a big deal.
For that date to be Ben and his old high school buddy Chase… well, that made it sort of a huge deal. It would be the talk of their small town if word got out.
“Fine,” Eric said. “I’ll ask. You don’t have to be a dick about it.” He huffed out a short breath and turned to Ben as he cut off the engine. “How was your date with Chase? Or did you just stay home and make out all night like a couple of lovesick teenagers?”
Ben could feel his cheeks start to heat up at the unexpected last part of his brother’s question. Even though they hadn’t stayed at home to make out, Ben wouldn’t have necessarily been opposed to the idea. It actually sounded like a pretty hot date, if he was being honest.
But he wasn’t trying to be that honest with Eric. They might be brothers, but that didn’t mean they had to share every thought that crossed their minds.
“We went to Joplin, thank you very much,” Ben said, finally. He was pretty sure Eric noticed the long pause and the way Ben’s cheeks had to be flushing red by that point, but whatever.
“Look,” Eric said, finally. “You don’t need to tell me everything. There are probably some things I don’t wanna know. I’m just trying to make sure you had a good time, that Chase is treating you okay. That’s all, so… tell me or don’t tell me, but I’m not gonna beg for information.”
Eric opened the door and stepped out of the truck, giving Ben a pointed look before slamming the door shut again.
“Okay, Eric, wait,” Ben called, opening his door and sliding out to catch up to his brother. “I wasn’t trying to be weird about it or anything, but this is sort of new to me, too. You know I don’t just go on random dates very often.”
And even “not very often” was sort of a stretch for Ben’s lack of a love-life. Aside from a handful of quick flings and a couple of honest attempts at dating in his past, Ben hadn’t had much experience with other guys at all.
Not for lack of wanting, but finding someone who fit into his life had never been a priority. And lately, he had a lot of other things demanding his time. Like the ranch, and his brother, and just… trying to get through the day.
“Yeah, that’s why I’m asking,” Eric rolled his eyes, as if it all should have been perfectly obvious. “Is it so bad that I might worry about my little brother from time to time?”
“No,” Ben smiled and shook his head. “Not bad at all. And I appreciate it, seriously. But the date was nice. We had a nice time, and if I’m honest it felt… I don’t know how to describe it. It felt just like it was something we should have been doing all along.”
“Really?” Eric looked at him with a surprised expression. “I mean, I figured you’d have a good time, but I didn’t know it was going to be deep like that.”
Ben started to laugh, but it really was kind of deep. He had certainly never felt that way about another guy before—or anyone else at all, for that matter. He still didn’t even know what to think about it, really.
Except for the fact that he had to remember not to get too attached. No matter how perfect it might seem, it would all still end in a few days when Chase moved to New York.
“Well, it’s not really that deep,” Ben lied, hoping that if he said it out loud it might be easier to believe. “And anyway, we’re just having fun. He’s leaving in a few days, remember?”
“Sure, but it’s nice that you’re at least getting a chance to hang out a little before then.” Eric shrugged. “I sometimes wish we were more like Chase. Or Jake, for that matter.”
Ben cocked his head to the side. “What do you mean?”
“Just able to pick up and move across the country and not have to worry about anything.” Eric got a faraway look in his eyes as he spoke. “Don’t you sometimes get a little jealous that our friends are out there having fun and living life to the fullest while we’re stuck here in Kansas, shoveling shit?”
Ben blinked and wrinkled his nose at his brother’s blunt assessment of their lives. It really wasn’t something he had put much thought into—at least, not before Chase had come back to town. And even if, in his private thoughts and dreams, Ben did let his mind wander to what life might be like somewhere else, it’s not like that was an actual possibility.
His whole life was in Baxter Springs, on the ranch that had been in his family for generations. Just like Eric’s life was tied to the same land. After their parents died, they both agreed to shoulder the responsibility of taking care of the land together. Ben was actually a little shocked to hear that his brother thought they might be better off doing something else.
Especially if that meant moving somewhere else.
“I’d like to think we do a little more here than just shovel shit,” Ben said, finally. “But… I guess I get your point.” He paused, trying to make sure that whatever he said next wasn’t irrational or knee-jerk. His brother was being honest, and Ben at least owed him a frank conversation in return. “And yeah, sometimes this life isn’t very much fun, and it certainly isn’t very exciting. It’s all I know, though. It’s all I’ve ever known.”
“Yeah,” Eric mumbled, looking down and swiping at a rock with his shoe before turning his attention back to Ben. “I feel the same way, most days. But I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a part of me that was still curious about what that other kind of life might be like.”
“There’s nothing wrong with being curious about stuff like that,” Ben said. “And if you ever felt like you needed to do something different, I’d respect that. I wouldn’t hold it against you.” With a sigh, he nodded in the direction of the barn. “But I’m afraid you’re still stuck shoveling shit with me for today.”
Eric laughed. “Sometimes I think it might actually kill you to stop being practical for more than five minutes at a time.”
Ben smiled but had to look away. Even though he knew his brother was just joking, his words—coupled with everything they’d already been discussing—hit Ben like a punch to the gut.
Was he really so caught up in being practical—whatever that was supposed to mean—that he had stopped himself from living life to the fullest? Worse, had he held Eric back from following his own dreams?
All his life, Ben had known that the ranch was where he belonged. It was his place in the world.
His calling. His job.
But for the first time in his life, he was really starting to wonder if there was something more. Were he and Eric missing out on something better, just for the sake of being practical?
It was an unsettling thought, especially to be hit with all at once.
Even more unsettling was the thought that it might be true.
Chapter 13
Chase
By the time Chase finally made it to Ben’s house, he was nearly beside himself with anticipation. Not knowing what they were going to do for their second date was driving him crazy.
There had been at least fifteen separate times during the day that he had nearly given in to the temptation to call Ben and beg for details—even just a hint—to satisfy his curiosity.
He somehow managed to stay strong and make it through with his dignity and curiosity fully intact, though. Now, as he walked up to Ben’s front door, he was kind of glad that he didn’t know what was coming up next. He kind of enjoyed the anticipation now that it was almost over.
Chase was already smiling when he rang the doorbell. It was likely that his cheeks would need a full week of rest to recover from all the non-stop grinning that automatically happened whenever he was within a hundred feet of Ben.
He couldn’t help it, though. He didn’t want to help it.
