by Avery Ford
The question seemed so random, so out of the blue that it actually short-circuited the folding and unfolding routine. It was just so random.
“Yeah? I mean…” Chase’s brow furrowed. “I have to go, Mom. I have to get out of here.”
“What are you running from, Chase?” Her voice was quiet but determined. “If it’s because of something your father or I said or did, we can talk about it, honey.”
“No, it’s… it’s not like that,” he said. “I just need a place where I can start over… where I can be myself.”
“Okay,” she said, standing up and clasping her hands together as she moved toward the door. “I won’t pressure you. But I do want to say one thing, so please look at me and listen carefully.”
He looked up from the pile of clothes on his bed and waited. He was seriously done with the conversation, but there was something in her tone that made him wait without questioning her.
“I know I’ve said this before, but your father and I only want you to be happy. We had hoped that you could be happy here—maybe not in this house, of course, but here in Baxter Springs—now that you don’t feel like you have to hide who you are anymore. But if that’s not the case, then so be it.” She took a deep breath, hesitated at the doorway before continuing. “I’d just hate for you to spend the next few years looking for some big adventure when your heart might be telling you to do something else. So just listen to your heart. More often than not, it will point you in the right direction.”
She walked out of his room and closed the door, leaving him staring at the spot where she’d been standing.
He tossed aside the shirt that was in his hands and shoved a hand back through his hair. Was he really running from something? He always felt like he was looking for something that would make him feel alive. Something that didn’t exist in Baxter Springs.
Except that for the past two weeks, he’d felt more alive than ever before, thanks to Ben.
Was he really going to go chase that feeling in New York with no guarantee of success when he could find exactly what he wanted and needed literally right down the road?
Only an idiot would fuck up that decision.
And while Chase might have done his share of idiotic things in the past, this was one of those things that he absolutely did not want to get wrong.
Listen to your heart. It will point you in the right direction.
Chase closed his eyes for a moment, finally feeling at ease for the first time all day. He knew what he had to do. It was perfectly obvious when he thought about it like that.
Without wasting another second, he grabbed his keys from the dresser and bolted for the door. He’d have to remember to thank his mom later.
Right now, he had to go.
He didn’t want to keep his heart waiting.
Chase wasn’t nervous at all for the entire drive to Ben’s house.
It helped, of course, that the “entire drive” took about ten minutes. Still, he felt calm and focused as he zipped through town and out onto the country road that led to the ranch.
Once he’d made up his mind, following through with the decision had been the easiest thing he’d ever done. He was going to see Ben again. There was no reason to feel anything but happy about it.
Until he pulled up in the driveway and started to get out of his truck, anyway.
That was when the nerves hit him, and he hesitated for a moment before he walked up the path that led to Ben’s front door.
How was this going to work? Would Ben even want to see him again? After all, it had been Chase’s idea to do the stupid fake dating thing that had led to this whole mess.
Ben might have blamed himself earlier, but would he still, once he had more time to think about it?
Or would he lay the blame where it belonged, at Chase’s feet?
There was really only one way to find out, but it didn’t make that walk to the front door any easier.
Because while Chase had made up his mind about what he wanted, there was no guarantee that Ben would still want the same thing.
All Chase had to go on was a hunch. And a hope. And a dream
Hunches and hopes and dreams so far had been a pretty mixed bag, though. Still, if Chase didn’t take this chance, he might never get another one. He couldn’t afford not to risk it.
He knocked on the door, wincing at how loud it was. He needed to get that nervous energy under control before he scared Ben off for good.
He took a deep breath as he waited.
And waited.
And. Waited.
“Ben?” he called out, then knocked again. “Ben, are you home? It’s Chase…”
And now he felt like an idiot, because who else would it be, right? But whatever. That wasn’t what he needed to focus on at the moment.
He hesitated for another moment at the door before taking off and sprinting around the corner of the house. Ben’s truck was there in its normal spot, which made Chase unsure whether he should feel hurt or worried. Did Ben really not want to talk to him?
Was that possible?
He spotted movement by the barn—Eric, thank God. Maybe Chase could at least get some answers from Ben’s brother.
Chase had already run two-thirds of the way out there when Eric motioned for him to stop. “Save your energy,” he called. “Ben isn’t out here.”
Chase stopped in his tracks and asked the question that would determine whether worry or pain won the battle for his emotions. “Is he inside? I knocked on the door, but…”
Eric shook his head. “Last I saw, he was on his way across the pasture on horseback. I’m not sure where he disappeared to after that, though.”
Chase scanned the horizon for a moment, then stopped and turned around. “Thanks, Eric,” he called back over his shoulder, running as fast as he could back to his truck.
He wasn’t one hundred percent certain, but he had a pretty good idea of where Ben might be.
He revved the engine and gave a little wave as he drove past Eric and out into the pasture. Eric was looking at him like he had lost his mind, but Chase didn’t have time to stop and explain.
His heart was telling him where to go, and Chase’s only priority was to get there.
Chapter 24
Ben
Ben was sitting on the rocky bank of the creek. The legs of his jeans were muddy and wet from slipping and falling on the way over, but he didn’t care.
He wasn’t even sure why he’d gone out to that clearing again in the first place, aside from the fact that he’d been crying too hard to safely drive anywhere else and he couldn’t stand the thought of being alone in that damn house.
Eric hadn’t even questioned him when he’d saddled up the horse and headed out for the tree line.
Which was good, because Ben wasn’t up to talking to his brother, either. Not after the hellish morning they’d already gone through.
Yet another thing that had been all Ben’s fault.
Still, he knew that keeping the ranch had been the right thing to do, even if it also happened to be the most difficult thing.
He was stupid to fool himself into thinking that everything would work out so easily in the end. Life just wasn’t like that—not for regular people like him and Chase, anyway. It had all seemed so harmless at first, just having fun and doing what came naturally.
Then Ben had messed it all up by letting himself fall in love. He’d spent most of his life keeping his feelings in check, decidedly not letting himself accidentally fall in love with his best friend, no matter how tempting it had been at times.
And it had been very tempting when they were teenagers and Ben hadn’t known any better. Even then, though, he’d been smart enough to hold himself back.
He picked up a rock and skipped it across the water. What in the hell had he been thinking?
Moving to New York? Really?
God, his parents would have gotten a kick out of that. Ben had lived in the country all his life. It’s what he knew. Wor
king with horses and cattle was in his blood, going back generations.
New York City would have chewed him up and spit him out in a heartbeat.
For all that they had in common, he just wasn’t built for adventure the way Chase was. Ben was happier to sit around the table with good food and good company than to go looking for something that would give him an adrenaline rush.
No, he kept his heart protected at every turn, and he always had. Which was exactly why he’d come up with that stupid rule about not getting attached, not getting emotional, and sure as hell not falling in love.
One damn rule.
And he had broken it almost immediately.
His heart had ended up getting the wrong idea, and setting it straight had been one of the most difficult things Ben had ever done. Worse, he had hurt the best friend he’d ever had—the only man he’d ever loved—in the process.
He didn’t expect Chase to forgive him anytime soon. Ben wasn’t even sure if he could forgive himself.
Ben jumped as a loud noise echoed through the clearing.
He’d been so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn’t know what it was, but it sounded like… a car door? In the pasture?
God, his mind really was playing tricks on him now. Payback for all the stress he’d put his body through the past few days, no doubt.
Ben cocked his head to the side and listened. He definitely heard something. Not another car, but something that sounded like a wild animal charging through the brush.
Feeling a sense of panic wash over him, Ben scrambled to his feet, ready to either jump into the creek or try and fend off whatever was about to appear in front of him.
Please don’t be a boar.
Or a skunk.
Please don’t be—
“Chase?” Ben nearly fell over backwards as the man burst through the trees, looking around as wide-eyed and feral as anything Ben could have imagined. “What in the—”
“Ben, thank God you’re here.” Chase paused for a moment to catch his breath and untangle his feet from some briars that had apparently been in his way. “We need to talk.”
“I—what?” Ben shook his head. Was he imagining this whole thing? Had he suffered a complete mental breakdown? He blinked hard and looked into Chase’s eyes. If this was a figment of Ben’s imagination, it was the sexiest, most sincere looking figment ever. “How are you even here? Aren’t you supposed to be on the road to New York by now?”
“Nope.” Chase took a step closer. “I don’t wanna go.”
Ben cocked his head to the side. This wasn’t making sense. Chase wasn’t making sense. “You… don’t wanna go? Since when?”
“Since you said you couldn’t go with me.”
Ben couldn’t help but smile at the sudden sweetness in Chase’s voice. Still, he wasn’t going to get ahead of himself. He absolutely wasn’t going to get his hopes up.
That’s what had gotten him into this clusterfuck in the first place.
“What about starting over? What about your job with Jake?” Ben asked. “What about your ‘all of the adventure’ and… everything?”
“I realized that none of that matters. I don’t need to reinvent myself in New York City when I can just be the regular old me right here. The old me that has the old you as a best friend.” Chase shrugged. “And Jake will understand. He’s got his own life, anyway. I’m sure he didn’t really want his little brother tagging along and getting in the way.”
He took another step toward Ben. They were close now, just a few feet apart. Ben’s chest was tight, though, and as much as he wanted to be in Chase’s arms right at that moment, he also needed a little bit of space while his brain tried to comprehend what in the hell was going on.
Ben persisted, hoping that he’d find a little clarity in at least one of the answers. So far, each answer Chase gave had just led to more questions. “And your parents? Your mom? The unborn grandkids they keep trying to get out of you?”
Chase laughed and took one more step closer. Ben knew for his own sanity that he should back up, that he should put a stop to this right now and tell Chase that whatever he was hinting at wouldn’t actually work.
But first, he wanted to hear what Chase had to say.
Just in case.
“They’re barking up the wrong tree for grandkids,” Chase said, finally. “But there’s still hope that Jake will come through for them.” He closed the gap between them and took Ben’s hands, making the breath catch in the back of Ben’s throat. “Listen to me, Ben. I want to be with you. I don’t want anyone else. I don’t want to go anywhere else. Just you and me. Here. Now. Together. That’s all I want.”
“That’s all I’ve ever wanted,” Ben whispered, afraid that if he said it any louder it might get taken away from him again. “But you’ve always said—”
“I’ve always been an idiot, babe,” Chase said, making them both laugh. “What I thought I needed and what I actually needed turned out to be different things. I was so convinced that I had to find myself somewhere else that I couldn’t see my future with you right in front of my face.”
He squeezed Ben’s hands and Ben had to blink hard to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill over any moment. They weren’t sad tears this time, though.
“Are you sure this is what you want?” Ben asked, still just barely above a whisper. “How do you know you won’t change your mind in a week or a month or… whenever?”
“Because this is home,” Chase said, simply. “You and I have history here, and family. I left once and regretted it for a long time. I don’t wanna make the same mistake again.” He shook his head. “I don’t wanna risk turning my back on love a second time. You might not give me a third chance.”
The tears were flowing freely, but Ben didn’t care. Everything Chase was saying was exactly what Ben had been hoping to hear since… well, since forever.
But there was one word that stuck out. One word that hadn’t even shown up in Ben’s wildest dreams.
“Love?” he asked, searching Chase’s eyes through his own blurry tears. “I’ll give you as many chances as you need, because—”
What he’d been about to say next was cut off by Chase’s mouth pressing against his own, kissing him with a needy hunger that took Ben’s breath away. He was in Chase’s arms, pressed against Chase’s body, and everything finally, finally felt right with the world.
After taking his kiss, Chase backed away just enough to look into Ben’s eyes. “I’m sorry. I think I interrupted you…”
Ben laughed. “I’ll take that kind of interruption all day long.” He reached up to dash away his leftover tears and continued. “I just want you to know that you’ll never run out of chances with me, Chase. That’s what love is all about. It’s unconditional. And I love you. Unconditionally.”
“I love you, too, Ben Harper,” Chase said, kissing him again and again. “You helped me find what I was looking for. You helped me come home.”
Epilogue
Chase
Chase couldn’t stop smiling as his truck rumbled down the dirt road in a cloud of dust. These roads weren’t meant to be driven on like that, but Chase didn’t care.
Not today, anyway.
He had something important to take care of at home, and he couldn’t think of anything else—and he definitely couldn’t stop smiling—until he got there.
Just one more mile.
He punched the accelerator with his foot and did his best to ignore the deep ruts in the road that were definitely ruining the shocks on his truck.
Just half a mile to go. Shocks be damned.
The past six months had gone by at the same kind of breakneck pace, and Chase had adapted to life in Baxter Springs surprisingly well.
Not that it was that hard, especially with Ben around. It wasn’t like he hadn’t lived there for the first eighteen years of his life, anyway.
But this time was different. And a lot better.
It had taken about twenty-four hours o
f officially living back at home before Ben had insisted that Chase move out to the ranch—an offer that Chase had jumped at.
And they hadn’t looked back since. There was plenty of work for a third pair of hands on the ranch, and something about working side by side with Ben all day and then sharing a bed with him at night just made Chase love him even more—a feat he hadn’t even considered to be possible up to that point.
Chase pulled into the driveway and stopped right in front of the house, barely even pausing to turn off the engine before he was out of his truck and on his way to the front door.
He did pause to check his pocket, though, just in case. There had been a lot of bouncing going on in that truck, after all.
Only a few seconds stood between him and the evening he had planned, and Chase could not wait any longer to get it started.
As soon as he cleared the door, Chase started looking for Ben.
“Ben, babe?” He stopped in the living room and listened for a reply “I’m home. Are you here?”
Dammit.
It was really going to be torture if Ben was out somewhere and Chase had to wait. But he’d already waited his whole life for this night. A little while longer wouldn’t kill him.
Probably.
Hopefully.
Okay, it might actually kill him if he had to wait more than point-five seconds.
“Ben?” he called one more time as he rounded the corner into the bedroom just in time to hear the water shut off from the shower. “Ah, jackpot.”
“Chase?” Ben replied. “I’m in here, but I’m naked.”
“Perfect,” Chase grinned, stepping inside the bathroom just as Ben was stepping out of the shower and wrapping a towel around his sexy body. “You don’t have to cover up for me, though. In fact, I’ll get naked and join you in there if you need someone to get those hard to reach places.”
“A few minutes too late, my love,” Ben laughed, pushing his damp hair back off his forehead as he walked back into the bedroom with Chase. “What’s all the excitement about? I thought I heard you yelling.”
