by Peter Nelson
The two Keepers glanced at each other. “You saw Loch Ness,” Eldon said.
“Picture the waters ebbin’ and flowin’ violent like that, but to the whole Atlantic Ocean,” Alistair said. “Without my Nessie keeping order to things, what you saw today would be a drop in yer cocoa.” He swirled his mug, spilling a small splash into the fire. It hit the flames with a smoky tsssssssss. . . .
“Maybe she’s out working,” Jordan said. “She could be in the North Pacific, the Indian Ocean, or patrolling the Baltic Sea or the Bering Straits.”
“The loch is growing more and more violent. They evacuated all the coastal villages. My Nessie wouldn’t let that happen. Something’s wrong. Something in . . . the spirit world.” His hand trembled. He took a deep slurp of cocoa, his eyes darting around the dark cave.
“I love telling ghost stories around the fire as much as any Badger Ranger,” Eldon said. “But they’re just stories. They’re not real.” He picked up his Badger Ranger official notebook and pencil. “Let’s get to the facts. You heard squealing noises?”
“Aye. Coming from right here, near the lookout. That’s when I saw the apparition. Thought he was mortal at first, just an odd little man, standing there smiling at me. He acted like I should know him, but I’d never seen him in my life.”
“What’d he look like?” Eldon asked.
“Weird old geezer,” Alistair said. “Barely a hair on his head, bit hunched over. All in white. Shiny white suit. And his skin—ghostly white.”
“Did he say anything to you?” Eldon said.
“He called me by my name, as if we were old mates who bumped into each other in the street. ‘Hello, Alistair,’ he says. He’s got this large cage on wheels, but covered up. Whatever otherworldly beastie he’s got inside is thrashing around, making them horrible noises. He looks like he might let it loose on me, so I grab me pokin’ stick. I say, ‘You let that thing out an’ I’ll poke it somethin’ fierce!’ He says, ‘I don’t think you would.’ I says, ‘Try me!’ I was sneezin’ like crazy, but I figured I could still handle this intruder.”
“Then what?” Jordan asked, his eyes growing wide.
“Then—it gets weird,” Alistair said.
“Then it gets weird?”
“He grins at me with that creepy, milky-white face of his—and pushes the cage over the edge! I rush him with me pokin’ stick, but he just steps backward, right off the edge himself. That’s when I see he’s from the spirit world. He just floats there a minute, in the fog, in midair! I can hear his caged beast floatin’ behind him, goin’ crazy, squealin’ somethin’ awful, no doubt because it realized it wasn’t gonna get to chomp on a nice, juicy Alistair MacDrumstick that night. As he drifts off, disappearing into the fog, he says, ‘So long, Creature Keeper.’”
“Impossible,” Eldon said. “You must’ve heard an engine, a propeller, something.”
“Just the awful squealin’ of his horrible beast and the ghostie’s high-pitched gigglin’. An’ the sounds of my own sneezes, of course.”
“Stealth chopper,” Jordan said. “Computer-controlled NOTAR blade-modulation system, most likely synched with a shrouded tail rotor. Military-grade.” The other two stared at him.
“I was thinking a hot-air balloon,” Eldon said.
“Or that,” Jordan added.
“This old man must’ve had something to do with Nessie’s disappearance.”
Alistair was suddenly on his feet. “It wasn’t no old man! It was a ghost! The highlands are filled with ancient spirits! This specter came for me with his demon-creature as a warnin’! He scared off Nessie, an’ left me all alone with a horrible curse!” AAAH-TCHOO! He exploded in another sneeze, then slumped back down and sobbed into his cocoa.
“Gosh, Alistair,” Eldon said gently. “There’s no such things as ghosts.” He looked at Jordan for help. “Isn’t that right, Jordan?”
Jordan thought about this. Two days ago, he would’ve said there were no such things as Skunk Apes or Loch Ness Monsters, either. Who knew anymore? Eldon kicked him. “Uh, yeah! I mean no. Of course not.”
“Then how’d he know my name? How’d he know I was a Keeper? Only a member of the spirit world would have that kind of knowledge.”
“Or a member of the Creature Keepers,” Jordan said. “Think about it. Who else would know to come here? How to get in? This had to be an inside job.”
Eldon shook his head. “It can’t be. None of ours would harm a creature—or threaten a Keeper.” He stood up. “Okay. Show us where you saw Nessie last. Her bedroom, right?”
“NO!” Alistair MacAlister was back on his feet. “You can’t go in there! You’ll get the ghost sneezin’ curse, like me!”
“Sorry,” Jordan said. “‘Ghost sneezing curse’?”
“Aye. The ghost put a curse on me. Why do you think I sneeze like I do all the time?”
“Because you live in a damp cave in Scotland, and always have a cold.”
“No! It’s the ghost sneezin’ curse! It started that very night! An’ it’s double-worse whenever I go into her bedroom!”
Jordan thought of something and glanced down. Stuck to his arm were a few strands of the mysterious silky-white fur. He picked them off and flicked them in the direction of Alistair.
AAAH . . . TCHOOO! Alistair burst into a fit of sneezes. “See? Even talking about it brings the ghost sneezin’ curse back! I say we get out of this cursed cave and don’t ever come back!” AAAH . . . TCHOOO!
“Alistair,” Jordan said slowly, “do you have any allergies?”
“Aye. I’m allergic to hares,” he said. “And ghost curses, apparently.”
“Hares. You mean like rabbits. Are there any in these parts?”
“Mountain hares are common to the highlands, but they don’t come around.”
“Maybe because you have a giant water lizard for a roommate,” Eldon said.
“Had,” Alistair replied sadly.
“Did Nessie wear any sort of fur coat that night?”
Despite the dire situation, Alistair couldn’t help bursting out laughing. “I know my Haggis-Breath has a reputation as being a bit of a diva, but she ain’t no fashion model, laddie! The only coat she has is her Hydro-Hide, but it sure ain’t made outta fur!”
“Nessie has a very special outer skin,” Eldon explained. “It’s the source of her power. Her coat is made up of millions of moveable scales that she controls with great precision—and great force. It’s how she manipulates the water. It also enables her to swim at superspeeds. She can even use them to reflect her surroundings, to help her appear invisible.”
“Not that she ever does,” Alistair said. “My Haggis-Breath isn’t shy about being seen. Makes my job a challenge but—” Sniffle! His big eyes were welling up with tears again. “She was worth all the trouble, and a million times more!” The redheaded Keeper lifted his kilt and blew his nose loudly into it. SPLORRRFF! “And she’s certainly not made of fur,” he said to Jordan.
“That’s what I thought.” Jordan suddenly bolted toward Nessie’s bedchamber.
“Oi!” Alistair shouted. “Where do you think you’re going?” He and Eldon ran after him, past the seaplane, around the deep shaft that was the indoor pool, and into Nessie’s bedroom. Jordan stood in front of the huge water bed, holding up a corner of the enormous tartan blanket crumpled on the floor.
“You leave her blanky alone!” Alistair shouted. “I crocheted that for her meself!” Furious, he stormed up to Jordan and grabbed it out of his hands. His eyes started to water, but not from sadness. His nose twitched. Eldon and Jordan stood back and gave him plenty of room. Ahh . . . aahh . . . AAAH . . . TCHOOO! His massive sneeze exploded and he dropped the blanket, stepping away. “Y’see? I told ya! It’s the ghost sneezin’ cur—” TCHOOO!
“It’s not a curse, Alistair!” Jordan picked up the snot-sprayed blanket and pulled something from it. “It’s a clue to who our traitor might be!” He turned to Eldon. “In my grandfather’s field guide to cryptids,
there was something called a Giant Desert Jackalope. That’s a creature that’s half stag and half hare, right?”
“Yes,” Eldon said. “That’s right.”
Jordan held out his hand and showed Eldon a clump of the mysterious fur.
“I don’t suppose he has white fur, does he?”
Eldon studied the fur, then looked up at Jordan. “He’s not a he, he’s a she. And yeah—as a matter of fact, Peggy’s a sandy blond.”
17
As the morning sun slowly rose over Loch Ness, Jordan, Eldon, and Alistair stood watch over the steadily rising water. They’d managed to push the seaplane up to the mouth of the lookout cave, and were waiting to shove it over the edge at just the right moment.
“Okay, this is it,” Alistair said to Eldon. “Remember, you only have a few seconds to climb into the cockpit and grab that stick, then yank it, hard as you can.”
Jordan glanced at Alistair. “Are you sure about this?”
“That rogue wave got your plane in here. Now it’s gonna get us out.”
“I won’t have time to start the engine,” Eldon said. “But the momentum from the fall should give me time to position us so the pontoons hit the wave like a ramp.”
“Bet there isn’t a Badger Badge for that,” Jordan said.
Gurgle! The pool behind them had filled again during the night, when the loch tide came rushing in. Now it was heading back out, and the water began to swirl and flush.
“All right, lads, that’s our mark. Five . . . four . . .”
Jordan looked out at the loch below. The water pulled back like a scorpion getting ready to strike. “Three . . . two . . .” It began to form a watery hill beneath them as it rose up. “ONE!” As the hump of water swelled, the three of them shoved the plane over the edge and quickly scampered inside. It plummeted like a stone toward the receding water as Eldon dived into the pilot’s seat, grabbed the control stick, and yanked back as hard as he could, pulling the plane out of its nosedive.
SPLASH! The seaplane leveled just in time for its pontoons to meet the growing hump of water. Like a car caught on a rising drawbridge, it began gliding backward down the wave. Keeping his hand on the stick, Eldon hit the ignition and gunned the engine. The propellers whirred and the tiny plane began to climb back up the rising water, gaining speed as its ramp grew steeper. Eldon pushed the little plane for everything she had. Her engines roared, and she zoomed forward, shooting off the cresting edge of the watery ramp, straight into the sky.
“Yeeehaaaaaw!” Eldon shouted.
Jordan looked out the window at Loch Ness far beneath him. He could just make out the sparkle of the poor little stickleback fish as they flopped in the mud. Eldon pointed the little plane westward, toward the Atlantic Ocean, and Jordan shut his eyes. He smiled as he listened to Alistair chuckling and cheering Eldon on for a job well done.
“See? Nuthin’ to it, just like I said!”
“And we’ve got just enough fuel to make it to our next stop,” he heard Eldon say. “The Chihuahuan Desert in West Texas—jackalope country!”
Something about this announcement didn’t sit quite right with Jordan, but he was too tired to put his finger on it. He laid his head on his backpack and drifted off into a deep sleep.
“There she is, boys! Dead ahead!”
Alistair’s voice jolted Jordan awake. The Scottish Creature Keeper was sitting in the copilot’s seat with the big map book in his lap. Jordan peered out the window. They were over the desert, with nothing but sand for miles and miles.
“There’s the little town,” Eldon said excitedly. “And not a moment too soon—we’re nearly out of fuel.” Jordan saw in the distance a town with what looked like a single road and just a few small buildings. The road dead-ended at a fenced-off clearing.
“And look,” Alistair said to Jordan. “Some o’ them high-tech military helio-choppers you were talking about!”
Bobbing in the desert air, parked in the clearing, were five hot-air balloons anchored to the sandy ground. “Very funny,” Jordan said.
“The giant jackalope’s burrow should be just outside of town, due east,” Eldon said. “I say we set her down on Main Street and investigate on foot.”
Jordan’s feeling that something wasn’t quite right returned. He looked out at the desert, and suddenly realized what it was. “Hey, guys,” he said. “I dozed off for a while, there. What’s the plan for landing a seaplane in the desert?”
Eldon and Alistair stared straight out the window in silence for a moment. Jordan got up and joined them in the cockpit. “Guys? I think you just passed the town.” The plane suddenly shuddered, and died. A red light lit up on the panel. They all looked at the fuel gauge: EMPTY.
“Aaaaaauuuuuugggggghhh!” Eldon jumped out of his seat. “Jordan, take the controls! Keep her steady, and keep her in the air!”
Jordan did as he was told. Eldon ran to the back of the plane and began rummaging around the cargo hold.
“What are you doing?” Alistair yelled. “This is no time for a snack!”
“Parachutes!” Eldon hollered back. “I’m looking for parachutes!”
Jordan’s hands felt sweaty as he gripped the wheel. The plane was eerily silent as it drifted above the desert. It was steadily losing altitude. Jordan circled it back toward the little town, hoping to catch a breeze to glide on. He kept his eye on the five hot-air balloons in the distance.
Eldon returned to the cockpit with a single parachute and a strange look on his face. “Found one,” he said. “Just the one. Jordan—you take it.”
“What?” Alistair squealed. “Why him? He’s not even a Creature Keeper!”
“Because I got him into this, and he’s not going to die on my account,” Eldon said. He pushed it toward Jordan, who shook his head and pushed it back.
“No. I’m not taking it. I’m not leaving this plane without you.”
“Well, there you have it! Very noble!” Alistair blurted out, grabbing the chute. “That’s friendship for ya! You two really have something special—I could sense it right away!” He began yanking at the parachute, trying to stretch it over his big, round back. “I don’t wanna be a third wheel, so I’ll just step outside, let you two have some privacy, and—” RRRIIIIP! The parachute suddenly split open, its silky insides spilling out like guts. “Oops.”
Jordan couldn’t keep the seaplane in the air for much longer. He stared out at the parked hot-air balloons in the distance. “I’ve got an idea,” he said. “Strap in. This is gonna make our takeoff feel like a roll in Nessie’s water bed.” Eldon and Alistair buckled up as Jordan aimed the descending plane straight for the hot-air balloons.
The seaplane came in low and fast, slamming into the first balloon—KA-BLOOM! It burst as they hit it, and its thick material got jammed up in the plane’s pontoons, flaring out behind them, catching the wind. This slowed them down as they careened into a second balloon, which didn’t pop, but got stuck under the plane’s wings. The thick material covered the windshield as Jordan tried to aim them into a third balloon. BLOOOMPH! This one didn’t pop, either, but stretched and spread beneath the plane like a cushion.
BA-BOING! The balloon-padded seaplane hit the ground, and bounced over the fence. BA-BOING! BA-BOING! It continued bouncing away from the little town, into the open desert. Jordan, Eldon, and Alistair bounced around inside like rag dolls.
The rollicking ride ended as the seaplane finally slid to a stop behind a large, red rock—one of many jutting out of the desert. Balanced on the last balloon, it slowly tipped, leaning ever so slightly against a single, pointy cactus standing alone.
POP! Ssssssssssss . . . Their giant air bag deflated, lowering the seaplane and its passengers gently to the desert floor.
Jordan turned to face his passengers in the back. Eldon was pale and Alistair was green. Neither of them looked hurt. “Thanks for flying Totally Insane Airlines.” Jordan smiled. “Take ’er easy!”
Eldon unlatched the door, swung it open, and steppe
d outside first, followed by Alistair, who fell to his knees and kissed the sandy ground. Jordan stepped out last and looked around. Alistair stood and slowly approached Jordan. The overgrown Scot raised his arms and grabbed Jordan off the ground, giving him the second-biggest hug he’d felt in as many days. “Ooof!”
Alistair set him back down. “What a ride!” He grinned. “You are a Grimsley!” He chuckled as he pulled something out of his kilt pocket. “Here. I want you to have this. Whittled it myself. In case you need it.” He slapped a knobby, wooden slingshot into Jordan’s hand, then stepped back onboard the plane.
“Thanks,” Jordan said, admiring the handiwork.
“Great job, Jordan,” Eldon said. “I probably should’ve said this before you saved our skins—but I’m really glad you came.”
Jordan smiled. “Thanks. Me too.”
Eldon peered around the large rock, back at the town in the distance. “Now let’s just hope nobody in that little town spotted us.”
“We crash-landed a seaplane into a bunch of hot-air balloons, popping them as we dragged their brightly colored pieces across the empty desert floor. Astronauts orbiting the Earth probably spotted us.”
“I dunno.” Alistair stepped back out, reading the old map book. “Last log says here the town is pretty much deserted.”
“We’ll find out soon enough,” Eldon said. “Peggy’s burrow is out here somewhere. The book should provide the whereabouts. Let’s just hope she’s in it. If Jordan’s theory is correct, her Keeper may have abandoned her.”
Alistair scanned the pages, his lips moving slightly as he read. “Okay. Says here her burrow lies under a sort of bunny-shaped marker. Now how are we supposed to find that?” He and Eldon scanned the desert horizon. Jordan, however, looked up.
“You mean, like this one?”
The giant rock towering over them was shaped like a chocolate Easter bunny. Suddenly, the sand beneath them began to vibrate. A scratching sound came from beneath the base of the rock, and sand kicked out from under the rock bunny’s rear end. Then two small tree branches seemed to be emerging from beneath the rock, until Jordan saw the massive, fluffy head they were attached to. The Giant Desert Jackalope squirmed the rest of its enormous body out of its burrow and sat up. It was nearly half the size of the massive rock it crawled out from, and towering at least twenty feet above them.
