Rachel wished she could refute his words, but Gladys Mitchell and Raye Cosgrove were well-known gossips. And, as much as Rachel wanted to believe their visit today was pure Christian charity, her gut told her that they’d simply come to take a gander at Jay and report back to their cohorts.
“You’re probably right.” Rachel took another cookie, knowing there was no “probably” about it, “but you should have let them see you. Then everyone would know that, despite his injuries, Jay Nordstrom is still an incredible hunk.”
Though she’d exaggerated a bit, she was rewarded with a brief smile.
“Let me draw your attention to this.” Jay touched the red scar trailing down his cheek with the tip of one finger. “And to this hideous area around my eye, and to—”
“Okay, okay. So maybe you have a few teensy little flaws but who cares?” Rachel kept her tone deliberately light. “You’re still the same arrogant guy inside.”
That brought the smile back to his face and Rachel wondered if now would be the time to ask him. When he took another cookie she decided to go for it. After all, if four homemade chocolate-chip cookies weren’t enough to get him in a good mood, she didn’t know what would be.
Jay hadn’t been off the property since he’d arrived in Millville and it was time for him to reenter society. Baby steps, she told herself. Lunch and a movie would be baby steps.
“I think you need to get out.” Rachel kept her tone deliberately casual. “How about we go to Des Moines for a movie? Maybe have lunch at a nice restaurant? You’ve got to be sick of my cooking.”
“A movie sounds good,” Jay said. “I’d like to see—”
He paused before naming a movie that had been on DVD at least a year.
“I’m afraid that isn’t in the theaters anymore,” Rachel said. “The only way you’re going to see that one is to rent it.”
“Great idea.” Jay smiled. “Pick it up when you’re in town.”
She narrowed her gaze. Something told her she’d played right into his hands and this was what he’d wanted all along. “No movie theater?”
He shook his head.
“No lunch at a nice restaurant?”
Jay winked. “Your cooking is every bit as good as any restaurant food.”
Rachel sighed. He was incorrigible. Cute but incorrigible.
“We’ll have more fun here,” he said. “In fact, suddenly I can’t wait for Friday night.”
“You’re forgetting something.” Rachel softened her words with a smile. “I don’t work Friday night.”
“I’m glad you mentioned that,” Jay said with an innocent air. “I need you to stay the weekend. Dad’s old war buddies are having a reunion in Des Moines and he wasn’t going until I told him you’d be happy to fill in.”
Rachel started shaking her head no before he even finished. As it was now, she practically lived at the Nordstrom farm. She couldn’t give up her nights and Sunday off. “Spending the night wasn’t part of the deal.”
“I’m sure you could use the extra cash for your furnace fund,” Jay said, his tone persuasive. “Lena will be here, too, though she’ll probably spend most of the time in her room. And Dad is really looking forward to the reunion.”
Though his smile tugged at Rachel’s resolve and the money would be nice, her laundry was piled high and her house needed a thorough cleaning. It was only the thought of Henry missing a weekend with his war buddies that stopped Rachel from saying no immediately.
“He says he won’t leave Lena and me here alone,” Jay added. “Even though I told him we’d make do.”
Make do.
That’s what most of the hardworking farmers in the area did. Henry was no exception. Ten years ago he’d been close to bankruptcy, but he’d sold off some acres and with hard work and the grace of God he’d been able to hold onto the rest of his land. It didn’t take a genius to know that the event must be important for him to consider spending a weekend away from the farm, especially at this time of year.
“Okay,” Rachel said, hoping she didn’t regret the decision. “I’ll do it.”
“Great.” Jay smiled broadly and, despite her resolve not to let him affect her, Rachel’s heart skipped a beat. “When you get the movie, pick up something for dinner.”
“Friday is meat loaf day,” Rachel stammered, the look in his eyes making her blush like a schoolgirl. “It’s your father’s favorite.”
“He won’t be here and Lena isn’t particular,” Jay reminded her. “I’m thinking lobster or salmon would be nice for a change.”
“Okay.” At the moment he could have asked her to fry a squirrel and she’d have agreed. “Anything else?”
“Candles,” Jay said. “If we’re going to make it a special evening, we want to do it right.”
“Special evening?” Now he had her thoroughly confused.
“It’s our first date.” Jay smiled. “I’d like it to be perfect.”
“Date?” Rachel’s jaw dropped. She shut it with a snap. “I just thought it’d be nice for you to get out of the house.”
Jay sat back in the chair, his expression inscrutable. “You don’t want to date me?”
“Absolutely not,” Rachel said firmly, ignoring a niggle of doubt.
Though her tone couldn’t have been more sure, a trace of a smile returned to his lips at her words. With his gaze fixed on her, Jay trailed a finger slowly along the Formica tabletop.
Rachel’s gaze followed the movement and she had a sudden vivid image of those fingers traveling up her arm. Her breath quickened. He picked up another cookie and brought the sweet morsel to his mouth.
“Maybe you don’t want to date me,” he said, “but you sure do want to kiss me.”
Her head jerked up and she discovered his gaze fixed firmly on her.
She cringed at the knowing look in his eyes. For a second she wondered if he could read her mind. She immediately dismissed the thought as ridiculous. He’d made a guess, pure and simple, and if she kept her cool and played her cards right, he’d never know he’d been right.
She attempted a look of confusion. “Where in the world did you get such a crazy idea?”
Though Rachel had never been a good actress, she might have been able to pull it off if she’d kept focused. Unfortunately, even as she denied her interest, Rachel found her gaze drawn to his lips.
“Admit it. You wonder what it would be like to kiss me.”
She pulled her gaze from his mouth even as heat rose up her neck. “I do not.”
His smile widened and pure masculine satisfaction filled his gaze. “Yes, you do.”
Rachel heaved an exasperated sigh. Hadn’t his mother taught him that a true gentleman never made a lady feel uncomfortable?
“Arrogant jerk,” she muttered under her breath.
She must have spoken more loudly than she’d intended because Jay chuckled, the insult apparently only fueling his amusement. “I think you protest too much.”
“You’re so—” Rachel stopped. She took a steadying breath and firmly reined in her emotions.
He lifted his lips in an infuriatingly smug smile. “The point is that you want to kiss me as much as I want to kiss you. You no longer have a boyfriend and I no longer have a girlfriend. So what’s the problem?”
She pondered her options. He was bluffing. There was no way Jay Nordstrom was attracted to her. For a fleeting moment Rachel longed to call the bluff and kiss that smug smile right off his face.
But before she could give in to the reckless impulse, the common sense she’d depended on since she’d been a child kicked in. “C’mon, Jay. Get real. You don’t want to kiss me anymore than I want to kiss you.”
To her surprise, he didn’t laugh and agree. Instead, he eyed her with an unblinking stare. “Are you saying I don’t appeal to you?”
“Not in that way.” Her tone came out calm and matter-of-fact and Rachel could have cheered. She’d sooner be boiled in oil than admit the truth.
“I’ve never reall
y liked blondes,” she continued, “and even if I did, we haven’t known each other that long. While there are lots of women who don’t think twice about kissing a man they barely know—”
“You’re protesting again,” Jay said, interrupting her nervous chatter.
“I am not pro—”
Jay leaned forward and splayed his hand against the table’s edge, his eyes dark and intense. “Rachel, we’re together every day. I’ve probably seen more of you in the past week than I saw of Lindsay in the entire six months we were together. We’re far from strangers. Anyway, what’s the big deal about a kiss? There’s a lot of women out there who get more involved than that with someone they just met.”
Though Rachel knew what Jay said was true, she’d never been okay with the casual intimacy so many of her peers embraced. If only these beautiful, talented young women would realize that God knew what He was doing when He said such intimacy should be reserved for the marriage bed. Making love should be something special, a physical and spiritual act between a husband and wife.
“Though you make a tempting case,” Rachel said dryly, “I think I’ll pass.”
“I can see not getting more involved with someone you just met,” Jay said, a curious gleam in his eye, “but not why you’re making such a big deal about a little kiss.”
Rachel shifted her gaze so he couldn’t see the thoughts in her eyes. How could she tell him that she had the feeling that kissing him would be like eating a potato chip? It would be hard to stop at just one.
“Is it because of Tom?” he asked softly.
Rachel shrugged. If that’s what he wanted to think, she’d let him.
Jay stared, his gaze thoughtful. “I’m surprised you broke up. You two seemed to have so much in common.”
“We did,” Rachel admitted. “We were in sync on all the important issues.”
“Such as?”
“Our faith.” A melancholy smile lifted Rachel’s lips. “After our second date, we attended church together every Sunday.”
Jay choked on his milk. “Back when I knew Tom, you couldn’t pry the guy out of bed before noon on the weekends. He’d laugh when I complained about having to be in church at eight.”
“People change. Tom’s not eighteen anymore. He knows what’s important,” Rachel said. “How about you?”
“How about me what?”
“Are you in church on Sunday morning?” she asked. “Or do you sleep in?”
“I’m in church on all the major holidays,” Jay said immediately. “So I’m probably batting .250.”
Rachel shook her head. It always amazed her how cavalier people could be about God and their faith. “Your life would be so much better, so much richer, if you’d just ask God to be a part of it.”
He smiled as if she’d made a joke and reached for her hand. She jerked it back.
“Okay, don’t get all bent out of shape.” He raised his hands in a gesture of surrender. “I promise, one of these days, I’ll send God an invitation asking Him into my life.”
“I’m serious.” Her irritation surged at his flippant tone.
“I’m serious, too.” Jay’s words were properly respectful but the twinkle in his eye gave him away. “I just hope that when I finally do invite Him, He doesn’t choose an inopportune time to show up.”
Rachel shook her head in disgust. How could you have a meaningful discussion with someone who refused to cooperate?
“I give up,” she said. “It’s obvious you don’t want to talk about God.”
“I’d much rather talk about you,” Jay said matter-of-factly. He grabbed another cookie and sat back in his chair. “Tell me just what it is you’re looking for in a man?”
Chapter Seven
What she was looking for in a man?
The comment, clearly designed to change the subject, caught Rachel off guard.
“Someone who shares my faith,” she said automatically, giving him her number one criteria.
For a second she thought Jay groaned but then he smiled and Rachel decided she must have been mistaken.
“What else?” he asked.
“I’d like a man who wants to spend time with me,” Rachel said, embarrassed by the admission, but not sure why. “I have lots of friends who are perfectly content being married to men who work eighty hours a week or travel three weeks out of four, but that wouldn’t make me happy.”
Jay nodded encouragingly.
“I want someone who is home every night so we can eat dinner together,” she said, warming to the topic. “I want me—and our children—to be his priority.”
“Tom met your criteria,” Jay said.
“He did.” For one brief moment in time, Rachel had been blissfully happy, convinced God had finally sent her the man of her dreams. “Although the bank kept Tom busy, he always made it a point to leave the office at six. That gave me time to get home from school and make supper before he stopped over.”
“He expected you to have dinner waiting?” A hint of censure filled Jay’s voice. “After teaching all day?”
“We went out sometimes.” Rachel lifted her chin, wondering why, even now, she felt the need to defend Tom. “But I love to cook. You’ve lived alone. You know as well as I do that it’s no fun cooking for one.”
“I never cooked,” Jay said. “I usually ate on the run. My lifestyle didn’t leave much time for anything else.”
“It sounds like work was pretty much your life,” Rachel said.
Jay shrugged. “The only way you get to the top is by putting in the time.”
“I can’t imagine…” Rachel tilted her head. “Didn’t you resent the long hours?”
“Not at all.” A faraway look filled his eyes. “It never seemed like work to me. I can’t even begin to describe what a thrill it is to be on the cutting edge of breaking news.”
“I’ve watched a few of your broadcasts.” Each time, Rachel had been impressed by Jay and his co-anchor’s professionalism and camaraderie. “You do a great job. And there’s a wonderful chemistry between you and Kathi.”
“We had a good time,” Jay said with a wistful smile. “She made work fun.”
A fondness for his co-anchor was apparent in his tone. An unexpected pain stabbed Rachel’s heart. “Did you and Kathi date?”
Jay laughed as if she’d made a joke. “I don’t think her husband would approve.”
“She’s married?” Rachel couldn’t hide her surprise.
“For almost five years,” Jay said. “She and Rick had their first baby last year.”
Rachel tilted her head and tried to imagine what it would be like to have a demanding career and a family, too. Just the thought of what you’d have to juggle boggled her mind. “When does she find time for her husband? Or her baby?”
Jay thought for a moment before he shrugged. “I don’t know. We never talk about that kind of stuff. All I know is they seem happy.”
Rachel took a bite of cookie and chewed thoughtfully. “I’m not into a mother working when she has small children. That was another thing Tom and I agreed on.”
“But you love teaching.” Jay’s voice rose in surprise. “And you’re a good teacher with a lot to offer.”
Rachel smiled at his biased support. “I like to think so.”
“Why would you want to leave all that to stay home and change diapers?”
“Because other than God, my family will always come first in my life.” Rachel eyed another cookie but didn’t reach for it. “And I want a husband who sets those same priorities.”
“Your parents both worked,” Jay pointed out. “And you turned out okay.”
“And your mother stayed home.” Rachel leaned forward and rested her arms on the table. “Don’t you see, it doesn’t matter what our parents did. What matters is what we want out of life.”
“But you need to be realistic. If your husband is the sole breadwinner, you can’t expect him to put family first,” Jay said. “If he doesn’t focus on his career, he’s not goi
ng to be successful.”
“You mean he won’t be able to give me the finer things in life?”
Jay nodded.
“But he will.” Conviction flowed through Rachel’s veins, strong and true. “By virtue of him being around for me and our children, he’ll be giving me everything that matters.”
Though he didn’t call her on it, Rachel could see the doubt in Jay’s blue eyes.
“I’m serious. I don’t need a big house or a new car every year,” Rachel continued. “I don’t need to eat out every night or wear the latest fashions. I can be happy on less if I have what I really want.”
“If you’d married Tom, you could have had it all,” Jay mused. “The big house, new car and a husband home every night.”
“Tom did seem to be everything I was looking for,” Rachel admitted.
“What I can’t figure out is why the two of you aren’t still together,” Jay said. “Is what’s keeping you apart so big it can’t be overcome?”
Rachel didn’t answer. She just sighed as an all-too-familiar ache filled her heart.
“I think you should reconsider your decision to break it off,” Jay said. “After all, where are you ever going to find anyone more perfect?”
Rachel pulled into her driveway that night and found Tom sitting on the front porch. Since he was dressed in a navy blue suit and crisp white shirt and tie, Rachel concluded he’d come straight from the bank.
His handsome face looked drawn and his stylishly cut hair needed a trim. The smile that used to linger on his lips was conspicuously absent.
Rachel’s heart twisted. Other than those two times, Tom had been good to her and it broke her heart to see him so sad. Despite what Pastor Karelli had said, Rachel still wondered if some of this could have been her fault. After all, if it had never happened before…
“Rachel.” Tom stood and dusted off his pants with the palm of his hand. “I hope you don’t mind that I stopped by.”
Though the curtains at the picture window across the street didn’t so much as flutter, Rachel could feel Mrs. Kellogg’s curious gaze. She wouldn’t be surprised if her nosy neighbor had hidden a microphone in the tree so she could hear as well as see. But even if the woman didn’t catch a word of conversation, Tom’s mere presence on her porch guaranteed there would be talk.
For Love's Sake Page 5
