For Love's Sake

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For Love's Sake Page 12

by Cynthia Rutledge


  Jay’s heart clenched at the man’s serious tone, but then he reminded himself that this was Hugh, a guy who didn’t have a lighthearted bone in his body.

  “I’m ready to get back into that anchor chair.” Jay made a conscious effort not to sound overly eager.

  “That’s what you said.” Hugh paused.

  “I could be there August first,” Jay added, in case Hugh hadn’t listened to the whole message or had forgotten.

  Silence filled the phone line.

  “I’m afraid that’s not going to work,” Hugh said at last.

  Beads of sweat broke out on Jay’s brow and for a second he felt almost light-headed.

  Dear God, they don’t want me back.

  Breathe, he told himself, just breathe.

  Though Jay wanted nothing more than to demand an answer, desperation wasn’t the image he wanted to present. So he took a couple of steadying breaths, sat back in the chair and waited for Hugh to tell him if he had a future at the network or not.

  Chapter Seventeen

  “Your fiancée makes a great pie.” Tony stabbed the last forkful of sour cream–peach from his plate.

  Jay sipped his drink and smiled. He’d already had two pieces of the pie Rachel had brought and if it weren’t all gone, he’d have a third. “My parents used to have card parties but I never remembered them doing a pie exchange.”

  Rachel had explained the concept to him when she was rolling out the crust. Each woman attending Dottie’s party would bring a different kind of pie. After the couples were through playing cards, everyone would be encouraged to try a variety of pies.

  Rachel had baked her contribution in his kitchen. When the smell of warm peaches had filled the farmhouse, Jay had known right away the one he wanted to sample.

  He smiled, remembering how she’d slapped at his hand when he’d tried to sneak a taste while it was cooling. Of course he’d turned the tables, capturing her hand and bringing it to his lips.

  As if mere longing had conjured her up, Rachel appeared and it seemed so natural to slip his arm around her waist and pull her close. A sense of rightness flowed through him. He’d enjoyed hanging out with the guys tonight, but she was the one he wanted at his side.

  Rachel smiled. “How’s it going?”

  “Good,” Jay said. “Tony and I have been getting acquainted.”

  At the beginning of the evening, Jay had known Tony only through his sermons, but as the night had progressed, they’d had plenty of opportunity to talk and Jay had discovered the minister had a sense of humor in sync with his own.

  “So everything is okay?” A hint of worry laced Rachel’s tone and Jay knew the questioning look in her eye was because he’d been on his own most of the night. From the moment they’d walked through the front door of Dottie and John’s home, the men had congregated in the living room while the women had gathered in the kitchen.

  Even when they’d played a board game, Jay hadn’t been with Rachel. They’d been paired with the opposite sex but he’d been “assigned” to Rachel’s friend, Jocelyn. Though Jocelyn was fun and certainly beautiful, he’d missed Rachel.

  All evening his gaze had sought Rachel out. Her pale blue sleeveless dress was demure, but she’d worn her hair loose like he liked it and when she stood beside him, as she did now, the fragrant scent of the perfume he’d bought her on their shopping trip to Des Moines tantalized his senses.

  “I’m having a great time,” Jay said. The casual affair was a far cry from the elaborate network parties he’d attended, but it had been a nice change of pace.

  Some of the tension seemed to leave Rachel’s face. “Thanks for being such a good sport.”

  “Thanks for inviting me.” Jay leaned over and impulsively brushed a kiss across her brow.

  “Rachel,” Dottie’s voice rose above the conversational din. “We’re waiting.”

  Rachel shot him an apologetic look. “There’s a quilt she wants—”

  “Don’t explain,” Jay said. “Go.”

  “She’s obviously worried about the company you’ve been keeping this evening,” Tony said with a grin as Rachel hurried off.

  “Hanging out with a minister is definitely a first for me.” Jay smiled. “And to make it worse, you’re not even a local.”

  Tony lifted both hands. “Guilty as charged.”

  “Where are you from anyway?” Jay asked.

  “My father was in government service and we lived all over the world,” Tony said. “But if I had to pick a place to call home, it would be D.C.”

  “I can’t believe you moved here.” Jay shook his head. “D.C. has so much to offer while Millville…well, let’s just say my hometown isn’t exactly a cultural center.”

  “It has culture,” Tony said with mock seriousness. “The Jazz in July ice cream social featured six flavors of ice cream along with the high school combo.”

  Jay chuckled and took a sip of his drink.

  “Seriously, the adjustment wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be.” Tony’s expression turned thoughtful. “Both Claire and I were ready for something different. Only a few years before, we’d have laughed if you’d told us we’d end up in a small town in the middle of Iowa. But we like it here. And I truly believe it’s where God wants us to be. What about you?”

  “Me?”

  “Have you and Rachel discussed where you’ll live after you’re married?” The minister’s tone was nonchalant, but concern filled his gaze.

  “My job is in Los Angeles,” Jay said, knowing that didn’t answer the question, but hoping Tony would let it go at that.

  “Rachel’s job is here,” Tony pointed out.

  “She can teach anywhere,” Jay said.

  Tony took a sip of coffee and lifted a brow but he didn’t comment. “Is she excited about the move?”

  Jay took his time answering and chose his words carefully.

  “She thinks L.A. is too big,” Jay said. “But she’s never been there or seen where I live. I’ve got a great condo that I know she’d like.”

  “I’m sure you’re right,” Tony said. “But it will probably still take her a while to adjust.”

  Jay’s gaze slid across the room to where Rachel stood talking animatedly to Dottie and a couple of other women. The diamond ring on her finger flashed brightly. Though he knew it was impolite to stare, he couldn’t look away.

  How had he ever thought it would be easy to leave her behind?

  “I assume Rachel will stay here until after the wedding?” Tony asked.

  “That’s the plan.” Jay sighed. “I just never realized how hard it was going to be to leave her.”

  Tony patted him on the shoulder, an understanding smile on his lips. “Spoken like a true man in love.”

  In love?

  Jay was tempted to dismiss the sentiment. After all, he’d said he’d miss her, not that he loved her. Still, he had to admit that his feelings for Rachel had deepened in the last few weeks. Every morning he looked forward to her arrival and every night he hated to see her leave.

  His relationship with Rachel went far beyond mere fun and games. They talked about issues and feelings.

  Just recently she’d opened up and told him how she’d always felt like an ugly duckling next to her sister. He’d reciprocated and confessed his fear of being cast aside like last year’s news when he was no longer good enough or attractive enough to be in the spotlight. Sitting on that porch swing, comforting and being comforted, he’d never felt so close, so connected to another human being.

  Tony was right.

  He did love Rachel.

  Now he just had to figure out what he was going to do about it.

  “I feel like I’ve hardly seen Jay all evening.” Rachel rinsed a couple of pie plates and handed them to Dottie to put in the dishwasher.

  Over the years Rachel had attended enough of these events to know you rarely saw your date. That fact had never bothered her. Until tonight.

  The way Jay’s eye was healing, she
figured they only had another week or two left. Then he’d be gone.

  I’ll never see him again.

  The realization brought a stabbing ache to her heart. Even if he came back for holidays it wouldn’t be the same. That’s why she was determined to spend every waking moment with Jay. That’s why it was driving her crazy to spend the evening talking to people she could talk with anytime.

  “He seems to fit right in.” Dottie took a plate from Rachel’s hand. “I’m going to hate it when you get married and move away. It’d be such fun if you were in town and the four of us could get together.”

  “Maybe Jay could get a job around here.” Rachel found herself voicing the hope that had lingered on the edge of her conscious thought all week.

  “And maybe I’ll get a job as a model in Hollywood.” Dottie laughed and patted her rounded hips. Though her friend’s words were flippant, Dottie’s eyes were filled with understanding. “I know how hard it is to leave your home and go somewhere new. I hated leaving Denver, but when John’s father took sick and wanted him to take over the business…”

  Rachel just nodded. Dottie thought she understood. After all, she’d relocated for her husband. But Dottie had grown up in a town the size of Millville and had always liked small-town life. Rachel had experienced life in a large city and she’d hated everything about it—the crowds, the traffic and the anonymity. And even if she could get past all that, with such a demanding career, Jay would be gone more than he’d be home.

  Rachel wouldn’t be happy in that environment. Not even if she was with the man she loved.

  “I love Jay.” The words popped out of Rachel’s mouth before she could stop them.

  “Of course you do.” Dottie giggled. “You wouldn’t have agreed to marry the guy if you didn’t love him.”

  But Rachel hadn’t agreed to marry Jay. It was just a charade, a joke.

  But this joke had ended up being on her.

  Because she’d gone and done the unthinkable.

  She’d fallen in love with her fiancé.

  “I’m glad you suggested walking home from the party,” Rachel said.

  Stars filled the night sky with tiny pinpricks of light while the moon cast a golden glow, lighting their way down the darkened streets. The air was warm and only a light breeze ruffled Rachel’s hair. Though it was barely past midnight, most of the houses were silent and dark and it was as if she and Jay were alone in the world.

  Rachel sighed in contentment. She couldn’t imagine anything better than this.

  “The evening went so fast,” Jay said. “But then this whole week has flown by.”

  She wished he hadn’t mentioned time. She was trying to ignore the big clock ticking in the back of her head, counting down the hours and the minutes until he’d be gone.

  “I overheard you on the phone this morning,” she said, surprising herself by the admission. “Sounds like they want you back.”

  Rachel had been in the kitchen when he’d taken the call in the living room. She’d been on her way to tell him lunch was ready and had heard him talking. Though she’d known it was wrong to listen in, she hadn’t been able to stop herself. The excitement in his voice and his responses told her it had been about his job.

  He’d been in a great mood the rest of the day, but he hadn’t said a word. She’d told herself that she wouldn’t mention it, she’d let him bring it up. But now in the comforting cloak of darkness, she couldn’t wait any longer.

  “They definitely want me back.”

  Rachel could hear the relief in his voice and see the glow in his eyes. Though her heart sank, she forced a smile. “I’m happy for you.”

  “At first I wasn’t sure it was a go, but apparently the guy who replaced me didn’t click with the viewers,” Jay said. “Ratings are down.”

  Rachel thought back to the times she’d watched Jay and his co-anchor. There had been some indefinable chemistry between the two that had been almost palpable. “Is Kathi worried?”

  Jay shrugged. “Probably. I’m sure she’s hoping my return will help the ratings slump. If not, we could both be out of a job.”

  “Out?” Rachel didn’t even try to hide her surprise.

  “You’re only as good as your ratings,” Jay said matter-of-factly, though she guessed he was nowhere near as blasé as he appeared. “That’s why I need to get back.”

  “How soon?” Rachel wasn’t sure how the question made it past the sudden lump in her throat.

  “I was hoping to hold off until the first but they need me right away.”

  “How soon?” Rachel repeated.

  “My flight is scheduled for Friday,” he said. “I wanted to tell you earlier but I didn’t want to spoil the evening.”

  “This is Saturday.” Rachel refused to give in to the almost overwhelming urge to count off the days remaining, knowing it would only be more upsetting if she put a number to her fear.

  But she didn’t need to count to know this would be their last Saturday night together. Never again would they gather with friends as a couple. Never again would he kiss her and call her his fiancée. Never again would she be so happy and content.

  Her ring finger dipped with the weight of the ring she would soon give back as her gaze settled on the man she loved.

  Was it possible for a heart to break in two? At this moment, it seemed highly likely.

  Dear God, why did You bring this man into my life only to take him from me?

  “This is our last weekend together.”

  “It doesn’t have to be.” Jay turned to face her, his hands gripping her arms, his expression solemn and intense. “Come with me to Los Angeles, Rachel. I can’t bear the thought of leaving you behind.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  Rachel stared at Jay, a stunned expression blanketing her face. “Go with you?”

  The words came out as a husky croak and Jay smiled. He took her hands in his. “I want you to marry me.”

  “For real?”

  Jay grinned at the surprise in her voice. “Of course for real. I love you.”

  Though it was dark outside, they were close enough to a streetlight that Jay could see a shadow cross Rachel’s face. “The engagement isn’t real.”

  His heart softened at the wary look in her eyes.

  “It will be,” he said, pulling her to him. “All you have to do is say yes.”

  “Oh, Jay.” Rachel laid her head on his chest and he could feel her heart fluttering in her chest.

  He wished she’d answer, wished she’d accept his proposal, wished she’d put an end to his misery. But the longer she remained silent, the more his sense of unease grew.

  “I love you so much.”

  At first Jay thought he’d only imagined the words, until she lifted her head and her eyes met his. Then it was all there for him to see.

  “You do?” he stammered.

  Her lips curved up in a smile and she nodded.

  At that moment she reminded him of an angel: her golden hair glistening like a halo, her ivory skin flawless in the moon’s glow and the light of love shining in her eyes. His heart overflowed with emotion.

  “We’re going to be so happy.” The words spilled from his lips one after the other as joy rose inside him. He’d been worried for nothing. “You’ll love L.A. I know it’s big, but it’s not as intimidating once you get to know—”

  “Wait.” Rachel pushed back from his chest and shook her head as if clearing her thoughts. “What was I thinking? I can’t move to L.A.”

  For a second, Jay froze, then he realized of course she was talking about her house and everything she’d have to get ready before a move.

  “It doesn’t have to be right this minute.” Jay brushed back a strand of hair from her face with the tips of his fingers. “I have almost a week before I have to leave. That should be enough time for you to get things together. Of course, there’s nothing that says you couldn’t take an extra week or two. I’d miss you but I’d—”

  “Jay.”
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  He’d been babbling, he realized. Because in her eyes he saw something he didn’t want to see and he was afraid if he quit talking he’d hear something he didn’t want to hear.

  “You have to understand,” Rachel said softly. “After I left Chicago I swore I’d never live in a big city again.”

  “But you were alone,” Jay said, trying not to overreact. “It’s hard to be in a strange place, especially one with millions of people, and not know anyone. But in L.A. you’d be with me and you’d already have a circle of friends to build on.”

  “I don’t know.” Though her words were worrisome, the indecision in her eyes gave him hope. “You’d be gone so much.”

  Jay found himself tempted to lie, to reassure her that he’d be home every night, but he couldn’t do it. He’d always been honest with her and wasn’t about to start their future married life with a lie.

  “My job keeps me busy,” he admitted. “I can’t say it doesn’t. But it’s not like I’m at the studio 24/7. We’ll have lots of time together.”

  A dog barked his agreement from a nearby backyard.

  “See,” Jay said. “He agrees with me.”

  “We’d better start walking. Or old man Krupicka will be out in a flash.”

  The dog barked again and Rachel grabbed Jay’s hand and tugged him down the sidewalk. He glanced over his shoulder at the small bungalow. “Are you sure he’s still alive?”

  Rachel smiled. “He still cuts meat three days a week. Not much changes here. That’s why I like it.”

  “Change isn’t bad,” Jay said, reassured by the feel of her hand in his. “We met each other and that was a change, but a good one.”

  She squeezed his hand but remained silent.

  He wanted to press her for an answer to his proposal but he kept his mouth shut, reminding himself that Rachel wasn’t like most women. She thought things out. Spontaneity was foreign to her. Her head and heart worked hand in hand.

  After two blocks, Jay could stand the silence no longer.

  “Tell me what you’re thinking,” he said.

  “I was thinking about my parents,” Rachel said after a long moment. “They weren’t a good match and because of that they had an unhappy life together. If my dad hadn’t been killed in that car accident, I think they would have ended up getting a divorce.”

 

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