Those early experiments in time dilation were the cornerstone of my obsession. They spurred me to re-create them, to make my own, and that in turn led to an invitation to the University of Copenhagen (among others) when I was thirteen, an honor I’m still immensely proud of. I gladly accepted Copenhagen’s invitation, earning my Bachelor’s in Quantum Physics in eighteen months and my PhD in the new Temporal Engineering program in another twenty. Stints at the Niels Bohr Institute, CERN, the Max Planck Institute, and the Vienna Center for Quantum Science and Technology followed, and in each of these I helped, along with my fellow scientists, to further research into quantum physics and that most elusive of dimensions.
Time.
You can imagine my excitement when I was invited to join the Kurt Gödel Research Center in Vienna and head a team of our world’s most brightest to unlock (to whatever degree we could manage) our ability to manipulate time. No doubt you’ve already heard of our successes. Seven years ago, we successfully slipped mundane objects forward a few seconds. In the months that followed we managed a few days, then a few weeks. Then a full year.
Flashing, we called it. The objects had been flashed forward.
In the years since, we have flashed mice, rabbits, and only last week, a chimpanzee named Six-Gun (for the way she pretends to shoot her trainer whenever she sees him). You can see where this is going. The time has come (everyone recognizes it) to run the experiment on human subjects.
I immediately volunteered, of course.
And the institute immediately denied my request. I was a key member of their team, perhaps the key member (in their eyes), but the truth of the matter is my protégés outstripped me years ago. I threatened to resign so that I would be a civilian once more. They gave my threat no credence whatsoever, thinking that not in a million years would I do such a thing.
But the more I thought about it, the more it felt right. I offered my resignation the moment that bit of clarity arrived.
I’m an old man, you see. I’m seventy-eight now, and though I’m proud that my faculties have lasted as long as they have, I can no longer deny that they are waning. And, I’ll admit, I’m tired. It’s time for me to step aside and let the beautiful minds of our younger generations carry this immense load forward. Believe me when I say that we are in good hands. Do not think, however, that my drive to know more has diminished. It hasn’t. It is as bright as ever, perhaps even more so than in my younger years.
Now free of an official post, I pressed this upon the institute’s board (believe me, I can be persuasive when I wish to be) and they finally relented. In acknowledgment of my contributions to the field, the seats in the trials will be expanded from four to five. I may now, at last, travel forward in time, my life’s dream, but as a now-private citizen the board (in true bureaucratic fashion) demanded that I independently fund, if not the energy, time, and manpower required to run the experiment, then at least their equivalent in currency. I can admit now that I was shocked, but truly, it is not an unreasonable request—traveling through time is not an inexpensive affair, believe you me.
But, as I’ve said, I’ve been a scientist my whole life. I am not a rich man.
And so I turn to you, my dear friends. The crowd, as they say. I am in a unique position to offer some very enticing rewards. I have also been allowed some leeway in regard to what I may bring with me, which I’ve used to devise additional enticements that will, I hope, convince you to back me in this terribly selfish obsession of mine.
Please, look them over, but do hurry! There’s so little time left! (You’ll forgive, I hope, the use of a single, fourth-dimensional pun!)
HOW WILL THE MONEY BE SPENT?
The base backing level will go to the costs of the time travel, but I recognize that an experiment such as this may, for lack of a better term, grab our collective consciousness. Which brings us to:
STRETCH GOALS!
For each €75,000 beyond the initial goal, I’ll be able to go five years further into the future, which I would very much like to do. There are limits, however. The outer bounds of the experiment (and my desire to travel forward in time) can fit roughly into a five-decade box. Money raised beyond that general outer limit will be donated to Oxfam’s foundational programs to teach physics to children.
. . .
REWARD TIERS
Pledge €100 or more
13,428 backers
The List!
Because of institutional rules, I cannot reveal how far forward in time I’m going, but when I arrive, I’ll read the list of backers (or a name of your choice) and give you my heartfelt thanks afterward. I don’t think I need remind you the sort of fanfare my arrival will be met with. One name only per backer, please.
Pledge €500 or more
5,227 backers
The Story!
I’ll write up my thoughts on the journey and you’ll be the first to read it. This assumes, of course, that you’re still alive when I arrive, but your heirs will be entitled to the copy should you prematurely depart these shores.
Pledge €1,000 or more
2,189 backers
The Notebook!
I’ve been writing in journals for years, jotting down ideas to the most difficult of the problems that we face. I will condense these thoughts down to the most interesting, and give a physical copy (remember those?) to each backer at this level. Rest assured, these will be delivered before I flash forward.
Pledge €5,000 or more
60 backers All gone!
The Transport!
The amount of space I’ll be afforded is quite limited, but I can bring a small amount of mass along on my journey. Backers at this reward level will be afforded one item to flash forward with me. A note, capturing your thoughts. A rose for your dearest one. A picture, as pristine as the day it was delivered to me. Let your thoughts run wild, but please keep in mind that the object can weigh no more than 100 grams (a bit more than 3 ounces, for those who refuse to relinquish the Imperial).
Pledge €10,000 or more
24 backers All gone!
University Interview!
I debated long and hard about this reward, as it might be viewed as a sort of favoritism, but I believe it to be important. There are thousands of disadvantaged youths that might have “the right stuff” to enter the University of Vienna’s Temporal College. Each of your generous donations to this reward level will ensure that I read as many applications as I can in one hour of time. Those that show promise will be referred to the dean of the university personally by me. Note that the applications will be chosen at random by my assistant, and of course this process will be completed, in its entirety, before I leave.
Pledge €25,000 or more
12 backers All gone!
Kurt Gödel Institute Tour!
You will be entitled to a personal tour, led by me, of the Kurt Gödel Institute. The tour will last for four hours and will reveal many details of life at the institute that the regular tours would never touch upon.
Pledge €50,000 or more
4 backers All gone!
The Scientist!
I’ll travel to you anywhere in the world, and sit down with you and your friends (no more than three, please) and talk about time, science, my experiences, or whatever it is you might wish to talk about. You and one friend are also invited to the tour of the institute, described above.
. . .
RISKS AND CHALLENGES
The only real risks will be my own health (as I said, I am no longer a young man!) and the institute’s own plans; one never knows if new, unforeseen challenges will present themselves, leading to a postponement, or even a cancellation, of the event. However, my doctor reports that I am as healthy as she’s ever seen a seventy-eight-year-old man, and the institute’s experiments have gone almost flawlessly so far. I expect no issues in either regard.
. . .
COMMENTS
Time Bandit on Jun 4, 2103
first! LOLZ best thing ever in th
e history of time!
einSTEIN on Jun 4, 2103
Wish I could afford the Scientist! Had enough for a notebook, though. Good luck!
Lisbet Hathesham on Jun 4, 2103
Wonderful! I hope you achieve everything you’re looking for. I’d love to take a trip through time myself!
Gravity Probe A on Jun 5, 2013
BULLSHITE! The institute has been cooking its results for years, and this crock of shinola is never going to fly. Don’t waste your €€!
18,398 more comments…
. . .
Update #1 • Jun 18, 2103 • Comment
THANK YOU!
Our first backers have appeared. May thousands follow in your wake!
Update #2 • Jun 21, 2103 • Comment
THE WORD, IT SPREADETH!
After initially being reported in The Guardian two days ago, dozens of newspapers around the world have picked up this story. Interest has skyrocketed, leading to 50% funding of our €4M goal in seventy-two hours. Thank you all!
Update #3 • Jun 28, 2103 • Comment
WE’RE SET TO TRAVEL!
Our initial goals have been met. But let’s not stop now! I’d like to go further in time if I may, and with your gracious help I’m confident that will happen.
Update #4 • Jul 7, 2103 • Comment
€5M AND COUNTING!
I’m not too proud to admit it. You have made me cry. Like a babe, I cried, into my soup, if you must know. We have reached the limit of how far I’m willing to go and how far the institute is willing to send me. As mentioned above, any further proceeds will go to promote the excellent physics programs sponsored by Oxfam.
Update #5 • Jul 18, 2103 • Comment
COMPLETE at €7.5M!
And so we come to an end. Amazing, my friends. Our campaign has surpassed my wildest imaginings. You have made an old man so very proud. The child within me thanks you.
More news as I have it!
Update #6 • Aug 4, 2103 • Comment
THE DATE HAS BEEN SET!
Mark your calendars! The institute has set the date: October 1st, 2103.
I’m afraid I must go quiet for a time. Given the rewards I’m bound to present to you, I need to get working. My plan is to resurface the day before the launch. Speak to you all then, and thank you once more!
Update #7 • Sep 30, 2103 • Comment
TOMORROW, WE FLY!
The time has come at last. I leave tomorrow. It has been an amazing ride so far, and I will admit that the butterflies are flying.
Update #8 • Oct 1, 2103 • Comment
I’M SORRY!
This is a pre-scheduled post. By now I will have left, perhaps not quite as all of you had expected. I can only offer my most sincere apologies.
Update #9 • Oct 14, 2103 • Comment
A PROBLEM IN THE LAUNCH
Hello.
You don’t know me, but I’m Foster’s sister, Anna. On the day of the launch, I received a message from him, along with the credentials to this account.
The message read, in its entirety:
I hope you can find the time to fill my backers in. You’ll know why soon enough. They really do deserve it.
—Foster
In a way, it wasn’t surprising that he sent the note to me—I am his sister, after all—but in another way it was. We’ve been estranged for years. Decades, really. His life has been his science, as some of you surely know from speaking to him in person.
As he’d predicted—Foster was always right, about so many things—I was called in a few days later. There were some irregularities discovered in the launch, and I was contacted as his next of kin.
The irregularities are being investigated now. I just thought, given the cryptic note Foster left you all on launch day, and his note to me, you deserved an update (no matter how useless it may be).
And before you ask, no, I have no idea what he meant by any of this.
Update #10 • Oct 29, 2103 • Comment
A BUG
I’ve been cleared to release this, as some of it has already leaked to the press. On the day of Foster’s launch, mere seconds after he flashed, several anomalies were detected. They’ve been investigated carefully, and it appears that a virus was introduced into the temporal launch firmware. How it was introduced, no one knows, but it seems a good bet that Foster did it himself. I don’t know enough to say myself—I’m a geotech engineer, not a computer scientist—but the evidence they showed me is convincing. That’s all I’m allowed to say at the moment.
Update #11 • Nov 8, 2103 • Comment
FLASHED BACKWARD
As you have no doubt already heard, it appears that Foster managed to send himself not forward in time, but backward. They’ve determined that the virus, wherever it might have been launched from, self-replicated to all the necessary systems, and altered the temporal loop formed around Foster. I was worried he’d simply been ripped apart, but they assure me it doesn’t work that way.
The virus removed itself afterward, leaving few traces, and no clues (so far) as to how it did what it did.
It does appear, however, that Foster is the first man to travel back in time. Perhaps he’ll be the last as well.
They haven’t been able to figure out how far back he’s gone, but they’re confident in time they will.
Update #12 • Dec 19, 2103 • Comment
LOST ITEMS, THE LIST, AND THE STORY
For those who gave Foster items to flash forward, be sure to check the institute’s web page for a form on how to collect it. They’re all waiting to be claimed.
They were found three weeks ago in a storage container, the location of which, along with a key, had been delivered to the institute by regular post. They don’t know who sent it, but in the storage locker was a box filled with all of the items you’d given him, along with the following note:
They traveled through time, roughly as far as you’d hoped, though by now I’m sure you know it was in the opposite direction.
These will be more worn than you might have hoped, but I trust they’ll still provide a thrill. Backward and forward through time, like a yo-yo, and now back in your hands.
—Foster
Also in the box was “The Story,” the first backing reward, written in a notebook I can only describe as weathered. As per Foster’s instructions, you’ll each get a copy before I release it to the world. It’s a fascinating piece about his mindset before, during, and after the flash.
On the date of the release, I’ve agreed (again, as per Foster’s wishes) to read “The List” of backers. This concludes, I believe, his commitments, though not quite as you or I had initially envisioned. I’m sorry for that, but I hope it will suffice.
I can admit here (perhaps more than anywhere else) that I’ve been haunted by Foster’s disappearance. I’ve hardly slept since he left. In a way it’s silly. I wasn’t lying when I said we were estranged. And yet, I don’t know why he did this, and I miss him terribly. I’ve read “The Story” a dozen times, scouring it for clues as to where he went, and why, but if there were any clues hidden there, it’ll take a brighter mind than mine to figure them out.
I’d be grateful, if anyone picks up on any, if you’d contact me via this account. Please?
Update #13 • Dec 21, 2103 • Comment
ONE MORE DAY
I don’t know how to say this other than to borrow a phrase from my brother.
Let me tell you a story.
Very few people know this, but Foster was married once. To a wonderful woman. Claire. I loved her. I adored her. This was when Foster still came to family functions, before he’d lost himself in his work.
Foster and Claire had a baby. A little girl. Her name was Julie, and she was the most precious baby I’ve ever seen.
When Julie was four, she was enrolled in preschool. She went there four days a week. One day, she was taken from the playground. Kidnapped. She was gone for an entire day. No one ever found out where she w
ent, or who took her, but she returned home, apparently on her own, near midnight. Julie appeared carefree at first, but soon realized how worried her parents had been. She grew so upset, she couldn’t articulate where she’d been, or who had taken her. She only said her great-grandfather had come to take her on a trip, and that mommy and daddy had said it was okay.
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