by Jill Cooper
In the form of a port in the back of her brain.
“Don…” I call out in terror one last time.
He places his hand on the glass. “What I want doesn’t matter. All that matters is what my mother wants. And she wants you.” Donovan sighs and drops his hand, then walks away, spine stiff. He hunches his shoulders, pauses like he might reconsider, but then continues his slow march away.
“Heartbeat regular and strong.”
“Ready with the drill. Numb the back of her neck enough to dull the pain, then we’ll send her to sleep.”
Rex smiles at me. “Good night, Molly. Forever.”
My face scrunches up and I cry. I’m not ready for this. I’m not as strong as Lara. I can’t do it. I just can’t.
As the needle slips beneath two vertebrae in the back of my neck, my bones crunches and I can’t move. My eyes close and I study all my choices, infinite in their scope, all leading down a different path.
None of them good.
Chapter Twenty-Two: Lara Crane
In the morning, I go through the motions of someone living their life normally. I make breakfast and coffee while Rick makes small talk and avoids what he really wants to talk about. I drink two cups before getting dressed for my job. The last thing I want to do is see Delilah Chase again, but I need to.
I have to fix whatever is going on here, regardless if this is my timeline or not. Fix things for this Lara and for her family, her friends. This is her future, not mine, and I don’t want to mess it up because when I jump out of this timeline, she’ll have to deal with whatever it is I would have done.
And I’m confident I’ll leave. I won’t be stuck here forever, regardless of Rex’s plan. I’m Lara James now and nothing is keeping me from getting back to my family and my husband.
It’s hard not to think about the anger Donovan has for me here, but maybe he has a right to be angry. Cutting him slack isn’t easy, but he doesn’t know me in this timeline. Here I’m not special to him. Far as he knows, I’m a low-life kid from the other side of the tracks who murdered his mother.
Still, that look in his eye…I’m not sure if I’ll ever forget it. I think it’ll take being in his arms again for that to happen. And even then, I fear it’ll haunt me forever.
Rush home to him, reclaim my place in the world, and deal with Rex, one way or another.
Rick drives me to work. On the way, he pulls the car over to the curb to mail something. “I’ll be right back.” He doesn’t wait for an answer, just popped out of the car and ran over to the mailbox.
“What’d you mail?” I asked when he returns. I felt a bit defensive, as if everything he is doing is somehow about me. I know it is stupid, but I can’t shake the feeling.
“Just something for work. The shelter is applying for a grant so we can build onto what we already have.”
So, Rick works at a shelter? “How’s…the shelter doing?”
Rick shrugs. “More mouths to feed every year and not enough beds for all the moms and kids who need them. We’ll get by, but the city seems to be getting worse. Not better.”
All my life choices suddenly seem to stupid. “You’re a good guy, Rick. A real good guy.”
He smiles at me in surprise. “Thanks, girl. I love you too, despite what’s going on. I just wish…hell, never mind.” He pulls the car away from the curb and we’re on our way to Delilah’s house again. I should get there just in the nick of time.
What I’d said is true. Rick’s a good guy and part of me had forgotten that. I had only been thinking about the Rick who’d betrayed me in the altered timeline, the one who hadn’t had a stable influence in his life. This Rick is very much the one I had left behind. He’s kind, generous, and he gazes at me as if I mean the world to him.
And all I do is keep disappointing him. That hasn’t changed.
I guess I have missed him more than I’d known, but it is like returning to high school and seeing all the opportunities that lay in front of you. These aren’t the decisions I have made. I had pledged my life to Donovan and I had meant it.
A small part of my heart though, would always feel at home with Rick.
“Have a nice day. I’ll pick you up tonight, okay?” Rick shifts the car into park before he leans over for a kiss. When I meet his lips, it’s the first time we really fall into each other. I tell myself it’s to keep my cover, so he won’t suspect anything is wrong, but part of me feels like I’m searching for something else.
I’m looking for the kiss to complete me, to swoon in his arms like all those days in high school when we’d do anything to be together.
It doesn’t happen, and instead I feel hollow and flat inside.
“Damn girl,” he whispers, “you sure know how to make sure a guy will be thinking of you all day.”
“Be careful.” I pick up my bag and exit the car.
I give Rick a little wave before I step up the stairs. I go in through the rear servant’s entrance leading into the kitchen. It’s easily the biggest room in the house and that’s saying something. I slip my bag inside a cabinet with all the other purses and slip blue booties on my sneakers. With my hair up in a ponytail, I read the list that’s pinned on the fridge for me.
Not too much today but enough to keep me busy. I had just cleaned the toilets yesterday and now I have to do it again? Reads like busy work.
I take the list and memorize it before slipping it into my pocket.
“There you are.” One of the cooks sighs in exasperation as she turns the corner and sees me. “I need to prep lunch, but Ms. Chase had me searching the house all over for you. You know how long her special lunch for her guests takes?”
“My shift only just started.”
“Like that matters when Ms. Chase needs something? I’ve been calling you. Look, she’s waiting in the study for you. Just pull your hair down and go see what it’s all about.” The cook hurries away, clapping her hands as if that will help her focus. She starts pulling out the cutting board, onions and garlic as I hurry by.
I fix my hair as I move quickly through the house. When I come to the white study door, I’m about to knock, but instead I pause as I hear voices coming from inside. “I’m telling you…” Delilah sighs, “Lara shouldn’t have made bail. What are we paying you for if you can’t rig a little thing like this?”
Is she talking to the judge? I press my ear to the door so I can make out what she’s saying better. It’s hard to hear over the pounding of my heart.
Someone else says something, a low voice, and grumbling. I can’t make it out, but it’s definitely a man’s voice.
Delilah snorts with laughter. “Keep your temper in check, dear boy, or the police will think the surprise I have waiting for Lara upstairs is your doing.”
Boy. Temper. Surprise.
I back away from the door because of what waits for me upstairs. I need to get away before I end up dead. Turning, I run right into the cook. Air expels from my lungs in an ‘oof!’ and I quickly apologize. “Sorry, I really have to go…get to work, I mean.”
“Go? Did you even go in and see her yet?” The cook shakes her head and puts her hand on my shoulder, pushing me toward the door.
“No, really. I can’t.” I push against the chef as the door behind me opens from the inside and I fall onto my back into the study.
“I’m so sorry!” The cook gushes but I ignore her.
I’m lying on my back and peering at the upside down face of Donovan James and he’s angry.
Chapter Twenty-Three: Lara Crane
“You’re not supposed to get closer than twenty feet to me.” I roll up to my knees and stand, backing away.
“I thought it’d be best if we talk, Lara.” The way Donovan says my name makes my stomach turn. I glance at Delilah who is quick to escort the cook out of the study. I notice Delilah closes the door after she locks it. And that concerns me.
As I walk into the study, I spot two bodyguards loitering by the fireplace, and they keep their eyes on me
. From the way they are standing, I can tell they’re packing heat. One false move, and I might never get out of here.
“If the police find out you’re here…”
“Let’s not involve the police. Please, Lara.” Delilah takes my hands and pulls me toward her. “I’ll get you a drink and explain things to you. I promise it isn’t as bad as it looks.”
No? “I believe you and Patricia James were up to your necks in illegal dealings and that’s why you went along with my mother’s murder. And then my father’s. When I started asking questions, you realized I was a danger. That’s why you framed me for Patricia’s murder. I’m just surprised her son was in on it.”
I can barely bring myself to look at Donovan.
His eyes widen. “You’re lying. I would never have hurt my mother. She was everything to me.”
“Maybe. But seems you got off good. You’re helping to run Rewind now, aren’t you? You took her seat at the table.”
“Because she left it for me. I didn’t kill her for it. There’s a lot I’d rather have done than run Rewind.”
“Sir,” one of the bodyguards says, and I realize they may know more than Donovan does. Maybe here Donovan is a sleazeball, but he might’ve been clueless to what was going on under his nose.
“Did you work for Patricia?” I ask the pair of guards.
“They work for me, Lara,” Delilah says, “and I had hoped it wouldn’t come to this.”
I turn to face her. “The check you gave me was nothing but hush money. You wanted me to run. You don’t want me to stay and face the charges. You want me to just go away.”
“I was fond of you.” Delilah’s eyes are crestfallen as they sweep over me. “That wasn’t a lie, but now you won’t let this go.”
“It’s not in my nature to drop things. Whatever is going to happen between us, it happens now. I can’t stomach waiting around any longer.”
Delilah motions for the guards. “Take her out. Make it quick and painless as possible.”
Donovan’s eyes widen. “Now, wait a second. I want to hear what she has to say. Did you do what she says? Did you kill my mother and frame her for it?”
“Stupid boy.” Delilah saunters over to the bar. The guards draw their weapons and Delilah pours herself a whiskey without acknowledging them. She downs her whiskey and then stares into the glass. None of us matter to her, we’re nothing but an inconvenience. “Handsome as you are, I have no further use for another James breathing down my neck.”
Donovan gazes back at me with surprise as a guard points a gun at him. Delilah’s henchman going to kill him and I can’t stomach to watch Donovan die. I scream and feel time cascading all around. It ebbs and flows like a wave, my emotion causing my power to come crashing back at full speed.
The guard is moving at half speed, maybe even slower than that. I grab his gun and punch him in the stomach, sending him crashing down to the ground. Donovan throws his arms up at in slow motion and rears backward.
“Noooo,” Delilah screams and the other guard aims for us. Donovan ducks and I raise my hand to the guard. The bullet comes at me, and a whirl of slowed-down time—like a tiny whirlpool—catches the bullet and freezes it in mid-air. I flick it down to the ground with my finger and feel a rush of blood pouring from my nose.
The headache is immediate and intense. This body isn’t used to what I can do. The air around us is thick as time continues to slow to a screeching halt, and I gaze at Donovan cowering on the floor.
I touch Donovan’s shoulder and he blinks, speeding up in time with me. “We have to go. Do you have a car?”
He gazes around and I give him a shake. He snorts with fright.
“Car,” I say angrily. “Do you have one?”
“Out front.”
Good enough. I grab Donovan’s hand and help him up to his feet. “It’s not safe for you to go home. We have to hide and figure this thing out.”
“You think I’m just going to go with you?” His eyes narrow as they throws angry darts at me.
“They tried to kill you and they would’ve been successful if it wasn’t for me.” I pause and Donovan’s face is unmoving, unconvinced. “You want to drive? Or should I?”
“No one drives my car but me.”
“Then I guess we better get moving.” I give him a light shove.
Donovan points to a very expensive sports car—at least that hasn’t changed. I slide into the passenger seat as he starts the car up. He’ll have to move fast because Delilah’s security team are charging behind us fast.
“Hope you can drive fast.”
Donovan grins as the car performs a 180-degree turn, dirt flying up from the tires. “Is this fast enough for you?”
“Just drive.” I use the side mirror to spy on the security detail running from Delilah’s house and gunning for their cars. I guess time had sped up for them after all.
“You a time traveler or something? I thought Rewind hadn’t been successful in finding someone like you yet.”
“Oh, they succeeded all right. Succeeded in breaking the law with human trials and experimentation too.”
Donovan grips the wheel tight. “I didn’t know my mother was into all that.”
“And my mother was helping her. Until Patricia had her killed. Look, this conversation is going to get us nowhere fast. We need to find somewhere to lay low and figure out what it is we’re going to do. We can’t drive all night.”
Donovan glances at the rearview mirror and then at me. “I have somewhere we can lay low. You’re going to have to trust me though.”
Can I even begin to do that? Not like life has given me any choice.
Chapter Twenty-Four: Lara Crane
Turns out his place in Somerville is a climate controlled car garage. There are two rows of muscle cars in vibrant colors and the place smells of motor oil. Despite all that, the place is so clean, you could eat off the floor.
We raid the vending machines for candy and soda. Then we sit on the floor in the back. I stare at Donovan as he fumbles with his candy-bar wrapper.
He genuinely seems shaken up, which surprises me. I help him, tearing his candy wrapper off for him. “There you go.”
His hands quiver as he pulls the chocolate out. “I don’t know why I’m so nervous.”
“It happens sometimes when people try to kill you. It just takes a while to hit you. Shock. Survival instinct, I guess.”
Donovan raises his eyebrows. “And you’re so calm about it.”
“I guess I’m just used to it. At this point my entire family is dead.”
Donovan quietly munches on his candy. “Well, I am sorry about that. I didn’t know…I thought you were nuts. I thought you wanted a quick buck, like most do. What do we do now?”
I sigh. “I don’t really know. We can’t hide here forever, that’s for sure.”
“Call your attorney?” Donovan suggests.
“And talk about how I just broke my bail bond?” I shake my head. “A really bad idea.”
“They did try to kill us. The courts will go easy on you.”
I snort. “Please. I’m not a James, at least…I’m not a James.” I can’t keep the haunted tone out of my voice.
“What?” Donovan asks and his eyes narrow.
“What what?”
He cocks his head to the side and stares at me. “Your voice…the way you look at me… I feel like you know me better than I know you.”
“I’m just nervous because you threatened to destroy Rick’s and my future.” I crumble my candy wrapper in my hand and refuse to look at him.
But I can hear him shifting beside me. “Say that all you want, but I know that’s not it, Crane. It’s something else.” His tone of voice is so similar to my Donovan, that I smile through my tears.
“At least some things stay the same.”
“Pardon?” Donovan straightens up tall.
“Nothing.” Bitterly, I wipe my eyes clear. “Give me some time and then I’ll call Jax. I promise.”
I don’t doubt it, but I lift my hand and attempt to open the portal to the bridge again. My hand crackles and a small hole opens, but it’s as if someone is on the other side fighting me. The portal closes rapidly.
I’m unable to keep it open.
Donovan’s mouth falls open at the display and his glasses slip to the tip of his nose. “What is that?”
“The answer to getting out of this…if I can get it open.”
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
“Privacy. Just for a little while.” I’m not sure I can stand to look at him much longer without my heart breaking into two. “Maybe keep a watch out the window. If you see anyone coming, it might be a good idea to let me know.”
****
I spend most of the night trying to open the bridge and I’ve gotten it so it’s almost big enough to crawl through…but not quite. This time I can’t hold it open at all, it grows and shuts like it has a mind of its own. My vision splits from exhaustion and there’s a pile of bloody tissues beside me from the nosebleeds from pushing myself too hard.
“You can’t keep this up.” Donovan stands over by the window and watches as I hold a fresh tissue to my nose. “It might kill you.”
I can’t stop. Somehow, I have to find the answer. “Someone or something doesn’t want me to figure this thing out. I have to get home.”
Donovan sits beside me. “Home?”
I shouldn’t keep talking, but I do. I’m desperate to connect with someone in this timeline. Someone I can talk to. But it scares me that of everyone I’ve met here, I pick him. Maybe it’s because I’m tired and can’t think straight. Maybe it’s because he looks like the man I married. “I’m not from this timeline. I’m from one of the thousands—maybe millions—other options. Where each choice we take, splinters into an alternate universe.”
