The lords amongst Gods, envious of that they couldn't have, decided that they would use the mortal souls to become more like them, to be able to experience the transience of life.
When the mixing happened, the three God lords vanished and casted their shadows away, keeping all their powers and sovereignty hidden from the rest of Immortals, until the moment when the shadows of the lords could be released, and so a new era of Regency, of temporary sovereignty would begin amongst Gods. When the life of mankind would be at its most weak, and that who cannot die shall rule the earth once more.
"Never underestimate the power of a prologue" I have no idea if she's been sneaking around while I was reading, hopefully she will understand the meaning of my thought.
"Doing your ancient studies essay?"
It's one of the boys sitting at the back of the class, one of the many whom Constance used to embarrass me.
"Yes."
"Well, it was due long ago" he looks at me with a sadistic smile.
"Ms. Adkins gave me another due date, with a suitable penalization for the delay" this is perhaps the first time I speak to someone to whom I've never spoken before in such a way. I'm tired of Constance's restless attempts to make my feel expendable. If he is still under her spell, he does not deserve a moment of my attention
He leaves me alone with my food and my book. The dining room empties in a matter of minutes, but I'm not moving. I keep going over and over the same page, making sure I've understood every bit of information written on it.
When I want to stand up and go back to the room I remember what Elizabeth said about Constance's possible plans. If the shadows are the lost God lords, and Elizabeth were to find them, she would become the ruler of my world, and The Atlas, and of every immortal living on earth, at least for as long as the regency lasted.
Back in the room I try to avoid talking to Jay, he is reading something and making notes here and there. If I didn't know him, I'd say he is doing some sort of university project. I go to the bathroom to have some minutes with myself and try to talk to Elizabeth again. It doesn't work. I feel like the connection between us has disappeared. A part of me feels lonely, while the other part feels relieved. Could it be that now that I can't communicate with her, I am going to avoid my ill-fated destiny? I look at myself in the mirror and the sight of those green eyes draws me back to the reality, there's no going back. It's been over a month and I still can manage to look at the mirror and not feel terrified.
"What are you playing at?" my question is full of anger and disappointment, I don't know why, but I feel betrayed. "You told me to trust you, you told me to stay, that everything was going to be alright as long as I stayed with you."
The week goes by, and I am still alone, she hasn't come back for me. The feeling is that of when I used to think just to myself and to no one else. Being back to normal is not as rewarding as I expected, I miss her voice in my head, even though I know where that would eventually lead me. She has given me the strength to go on, and it is only now that she is not here that I know it.
I would remain still in this very spot as long as a lifetime would be, waiting for Elizabeth to answer, but I can't feel anything related to her, she is not here. I keep on trying to talk to her, thinking anything that could draw her attention or at least give me a clue so I know she is alright. But again, that doesn't happen.
After a long wait with no answer, I respectfully say goodbye to her. But just for now. She has taught me not to quit, to never give up; because that is what people do, we stand for those we care most.
"I'll stick with you, no matter what, until the end."
CHAPTER 24
She hasn't returned.
It's been two weeks and I haven't had news from Elizabeth since the day we visited The Atlas. Jay refuses to tell me anything about her and he is even starting to push me back. He looks at me with that look, I don't feel welcomed around him and every time I try to start a conversation he leaves the room or just vanishes for a couple of hours.
I don't know how worried I should be, for now I only know that the dreams are fading away and that for the first time in months I've slept the night through without waking up screaming or sweating with my body full of bruises or unbearable pain.
I am leaving in less than two weeks, and I would have liked a proper farewell. After all, what we three have lived during these months is not something that people experience regularly.
Regardless of what they might think, I am not going to waste my last two weeks in Barcelona wandering around as a lost soul trying to find Elizabeth or trying to get Jay to talk to me. I've done my best; these notes are proof of it. I am not a quitter; that I know. But I am not a living dead person, not anymore.
Alex, still alive.
My exams are coming and I know I should be spending my free time —which makes for my entire day lately— studying, but I can't concentrate, the pages of notes I have on my desk go blurry every time I put myself to it. The words won't flow and everything I learn disappears within minutes. I need some distraction, some fresh air, something that this tiny room has not given me for over two weeks, even though I could say I've been living alone in it. It's been five days since I last saw Jay.
I open the window and take a look at the street, there's people lying in the grass, I am thinking that I could do the same, I feel like if I was in drugs, some drugs that forced me to prove me capable of having other relationships, other than the ones I just lost. Maybe I will regret doing it, but right now, I can't think of a better plan, I will prove myself capable. I owe that to myself, they owe that to myself.
Unable to think of anything else, I call Ingrid, but she is not in town. That's when the chance arrives, the chance to let myself know that I am better than this lonely boy I've become.
I find a familiar face standing in the corridor. Jessica's mother is right outside her daughter's room. She is dresses in black as the last time, and the thought-to-the-millimeter combination of accessorizes and style hypnotizes me. She notices that I am standing on the middle of the corridor and with a sweet smile she waves, she clearly remembers knocking at my door.
"Merry Christmas" she says with a gentle voice "I still hope to see you at the party."
"Thank you" I say trying not to look at her "I…" yeah, why not.” I will go. That is if I find someone to go with."
She raises her white and glamorous sunglasses and stares at me with her dark eyes. She smiles again and then she nods.
"I am quite sure you will, my boy. A handsome man like you should not have a problem for that. "
I blush. I nod and a moment after I am crossing the main door. I am outside, surrounded by people seating on the grass in groups, studying or simple hanging out, which is more likely. Among them, I can see Jessica, she looks at me and stands up quickly enough to catch me before I leave for a stroll. After all, my idea to sit around so many unknown people proved to be way too much for a start.
"Hey!" She joins me and walks right by my side.
"Hello."
"Merry Christmas.”
"You are one week ahead of time, you know that, right?" I try my best to make sure that she understands that I'm joking.
"Yeah I know. Have any plans yet?"
"No…Your mother just reminded me about the party."
"My mother?" she asks surprised
"Yes, she was right in front of your room."
She looks back, staring at what I think is her room window.
"I didn't see her get in! Probably I was too much into studying" She looks back again. "Well, I'll guess I'll be seeing you around in campus."
"Well, we are neighbors.”
"Not for long, mum is moving to Barcelona because she has a great feeling about the bar, so there's no reason for me to live here anymore."
"Oh, I see. Take care then."
"Thanks" she leaves. When she is mere meters away from me she turns and shouts. "I want to see you at the Christmas party!"
I smile back at
her, and when she is finally gone I start walking, heading nowhere in particular. I am surprised of how well that conversation went, for a moment I felt like if she was my friend, or at least someone who could likely become one in the future. I regret not having been more open to people during my staying here, now it is just too late to make room for new people, but it's never too late to question all the mistakes that one has done. Perhaps if I could do it all over again it would be different, perhaps I would not even consider coming here. Whatever might have been, it makes no difference now, I can't change what's been done and even if I could, I am not sure I would.
It doesn't matter that I will be leaving in two weeks, Barcelona will always have a place in my heart. I will never forget its crowded streets and the beauty of the old city. There are so many places in the world that teach you things, but here, not only have I learned things, but I've grown as a person, I know that, I can feel it, and when I leave, that will be the one thing that I'll be taking away.
The long walk helps me clarify some thoughts, to put some needed and urgent order in my head. It's been almost two weeks since I last spoke with Elizabeth, it's time for me to focus on other things. The reason I came here was to study, not to go back home in a worse personal state than when I left. This trip was intended to take me away from everything I had been trying to keep far from me for a year, and it succeeded, I can't ask for more.
Before I can enter the residence I see a shadow near the stone stairs. I know who that is, her long red hair is unquestionably unique. Jessica is sobbing right next to me and I could sneak into the building and nothing would happen, she has not seen me, but I can't do that, I bring myself to her and hope that I will not exacerbate things.
"Are you ok?"
She notices me and tries to hide the fact that she has been crying. She uses her jumper's sleeve to clean her face and with a fake smile she stands up.
"Yeah, thank you…sorry, I can't remember your name"
"Alex" I say, smiling. "Are you sure you are ok?"
"I am" She is trembling and the words are hardly audible.
"Let's go inside and eat something, shall we?" I take her around my arms and lead the way into the dining room, which fortunately is empty.
After a couple of minutes of dead and uncomfortable silence she starts talking. Her mother is not being really open minded about some personal affairs of hers that I feel too shy to ask about, but what is troubling her the most is that her date for the party won't be able to attend, so she has been left alone. I take the following minutes considering the pros and cons about the situation, and after a careful study of them I make up my mind. I don't want any more «what ifs» in my life.
"I'll go with you" The words just come out of my mouth fully formed, I guess that means that deep inside I was going to use them, although probably not with Jessica.
She looks at me like if she had not heard a word of what I just said.
"You don't have to do this" she says politely before standing out with the intention of leaving.
I stand up right after her and propose again. I imagine what it would have been like asking Elizabeth out. Then the words flow again, but it's my mind speaking up, not me.
"I really mean it" I lie, I needed a punch to realize that if I ever wanted to attend the party I only wanted to do it with Elizabeth. This is not just a punch, this is me throwing myself off a cliff and shouting out loud «I'm dumb».
"Thank you, Alex" She smiles and then goes quietly back to her room.
I am left in the dining room all by myself, thinking about what I just did, I was trying to prove myself capable of getting close to people, and aside from that, I proved that I feel something that I have never felt before.
The room is still empty, Jay has not returned. I throw myself on the bed and I fall asleep thinking about what would have happened if I had told Elizabeth what my feelings were, thinking if it would have made any difference.
CHAPTER 25
In a room with no lights at all, I stand alone. All my fears are gone and the desperate thought of Elizabeth's disappearance seems to be only a distant memory.
"Hello?"
The eco of my voice comes back to me, but it is saying something else, something I can't understand.
There is an enormous white wooden door in front of me. I walk across the room, one step after the other, carefully watching where I tread on. I am lighter than a feather right now, I am the most vulnerable I have ever been, but I am not worried, not at all. That's when I realize that whatever it is that is happening, it's not real.
The creaky sound of the door marks the entrance to another place, another room, this one dark and cold, full of anger and terror, full of what I've been feeling in the real world for far too long. The door closes behind my back and I know that all I can do is go forward, through the limitless room.
The cold, freezing, air makes my whole body shiver. I can't see where I am, only three lights show up in the distance and the rest is pure blackness, my fear rises. Like so many times before this one, the wet mud, now under my bare feet, brings me back to a place I know, this is where I die.
I start walking, there's absolutely no sound around me. The killing silence provokes an unbearable squeaking in my ears that will only end with my own death. I keep on walking, something I never had the chance to do here. I can see some bench like shapes in the distance, but there's a mist that blocks off my eyesight. There's just one thing I know for sure, this is a colossal place that would make the most powerful person in the world look ridiculous.
Suddenly, there's ghostly figure in front of me, the one that has been stalking me in my sleep for the past months. She is wearing a black dress that flutters in the wind like if it was an evil spirit. The faceless body looks at me from the distance, all I can make out are the two terrifying green haloes coming from her eyes. My body is paralyzed, now everything looks familiar. She is getting closer, her bare feet are moving faster with every passing second, and she will be by my side sooner than I would have wanted.
She opens her deformed mouth and a creaky sound comes out of it. I can feel her face almost grazing mine, her skin is cold as ice and when I feel it. My whole body goes as cold as hers.
She puts one hand on my chest and presses it with all her strength, I can feel my heartbeat stopping, my forces are disappearing and my life is going away. My legs give out and I fall so slowly that I relive all the dreams that came before this one, trying to find a way out of it. But I can't, there's no going back.
Her torn dress is ripping away from her body. She stands in front of me and when nothing can cover her damaged body, she pulls a knife out of nowhere as she draws an unnerving smile at me. Her pale hand risen in the air tells me that my life is once again coming to an end. She drops her arm onto my chest and with a harrowing sound the blade of the knife enters my body and slays my heart for good.
But I don't die.
She takes me to a new place, a familiar place. The red painted walls and stairs can't hide the true nature of the room, I am home, my real home. But still my ears are condemned to eternal silence with only the disturbing beeping to keep them alive. In the distance I can make out a shadow, held against the wooden wall in the living room. My mother is hanging out of a rope, still living, trying to resist the imminence of her death. I scream to the top of my lungs but no sound comes out of my mouth. She can see me, she is staring right at me, and the shy smile on her face proves that at least she is relieved, she is not alone. I run straight to her with the only intention of liberating her from her killing trap, but I can't help her, I can't touch her, If I put my hands on her they disappear, like if I were an all seeing spirit that just appeared in front of her to guide her through her final steps.
The ill-fated ghostly figure behind me touches my arm and before I can turn to wave goodbye, my mother is gone, and so am I.
She has brought me back to my room; it's not red but pure black, and everything looks like if it had been set on fire. She
leaves the room and I follow her, the whole building is burnt and the flames are devouring everything they find on their path. Still, I feel nothing, not even a burning on my feet. I walk behind her trying to understand what is it that she wants me to see, but all I can picture is my mother hanging from a rope in the middle of my dining room, back home. Suddenly I feel tears in my eyes, and in my face. We are climbing the stairs that lead to the roof of the residence, the door is open and the exterior is pale white, the scorching flames are not around me anymore and I am completely sure that I am in an utterly different place.
She walks me to the edge of the roof and with the same haunting smile she used right before she stabbed me, she points down to the street. There, I can see everyone I ever cared about, dead and torn to pieces, covered with blood and some of them still agonizing. On top of them, Elizabeth looks at me, straight into my soul and I know that she is down there because of me. The freezing blade rips my body again and I fall in the distance, to oblivion, to darkness. To death.
I wake up screaming. My hand's pressed to my chest, holding my heart and breathe as if I just came back to life from a painful and longtime agonizing death. My eyes see everything as black as it was in my dream, the room is empty and I can't focus on the walls that surround me, I feel like in a dangerous rollercoaster where everything moves and I am not attached to a seatbelt to protect me. I'm spinning, but the image of those corpses lying on the street comes back to me as real as it was in the dream, I can't stay in the room any longer, I have to make sure that it was just a dream and not real. I run across the now longer than ever corridor that stands between my room and the stairs to the terrace. I can hear the thunder outside, and the lightings draw strange and terrifying shadows along the way, but I don't lose sight of what I want, I don't care about the storm, I need to get to the terrace.
I climb the stairs as fast as I can, some of them are wet because the windows are wide open, as is the door to the patio. The lighting and the thunder make me more confused than what I already was. The dizziness from the dream is nothing but increasing and by the time I reach the door to the stage of my dream, I am not sure I can call the difference between what's real and what is not.
The Mortal Fringe Page 12
