by Annie Walls
I’ll have to furnish the loft myself. It’s chilly, but I don’t mind because there is a fireplace. Guido said an electrical line will be installed in a day or so. I’ll have electricity. The downside—I’ll have to use the working girls showers across the courtyard. There’s an old faucet sticking out of the wall with no sink, but when I turn it on, it doesn’t work.
After deciding to take the day for loot, Reece and Glinda come to help. Glinda is excited to be doing something out of the ordinary. On the way, I tell them how I acquired the loft. Reece is suspicious with my terms of lease.
“I don’t care to be risking my life to live here. I do it every day anyway, Reece. We all do.” It irks me people tend to forget this fact.
He snorts, “I’m sure there’s something Guido will come up with to make you uncomfortable. Speaking of that bastard, he’s got me looking for Mac.” I bite my lip to keep from laughing. His new predicament is probably my inadvertent doing.
Upon informing him about my plans to go to the cult, he doesn’t like it. “Too risky.”
“Living this life is risky. Besides, you might be able to pick Dalton’s brain about Mac. Find a lead.” Even though I don’t think Dalton will know anything of Mac’s whereabouts. If he does, he’ll keep it to himself.
We’re in a crummy furniture store in East Nashville. Reece has a freshly shaved head and a neatly braided goatee with new beads. Courtesy of Glinda, I’m sure. A thermal shirt under his biker vest keeps him warm. Glinda’s blond curls run loose over a fitted red sweater as her eyes dart between the two of us.
“Then I’ll go myself. Plus get him to help with whatever you need,” Reece’s eyes never waver from me after he speaks.
I sigh. “Getting Dalton’s help to take the survivors to Birmingham isn’t the only reason I want to go.”
Reece stops what he’s doing and narrows his eyes. “I fucking knew it! Why?”
“Why, Suga?” Glinda says at the same time, worry clouding her eyes.
Losing my patience right now will not help me, so I try to keep my cool. “Those women and children need help.”
“Isn’t that what Dalton is there for? How do you know they need help, Kan? You were there for how long? A few days? Drugged, at that.”
I blink at him, not knowing what to say, but going by myself is looking like the option I’ll have to take. Panic creeps in and my fingers tremble. I clench them in a fist.
Reece groans and rubs his bald head. “Fine,” he tells me through clenched teeth, surprising me. “But we’ll be thinking this through. Stake it out.”
I nod in total agreement. “Rudy is the only one who knows where it is.”
Glinda and Reece pause to look at me. “Reece, maybe you can talk to Rudy. See if he’ll tell you where the cult is located,” I say, going for nonchalance, but failing miserably. I lift a small end table into the van.
They both exchange glances, and Reece nods at her. I don’t know how they have a silent conversation. Well, yes, I do.
“Suga, yew know Rudy doll loves yew, right? Yew should ask ‘im.”
I look her straight in the eye. “Yeah, I know, but it—it’s complicated.”
Reece scoffs and throws mattresses around to get one that isn’t dusty. He’s not one to get into people’s business. I suspect so people will stay out of his, but this is clear disapproval. I ignore him. Glinda gapes at him. He finally finds a mattress that suits his liking.
“Somethin’ yew want to say, sweets?” Glinda asks him with her arms crossed. She clearly isn’t in the know.
Reece carries the mattress out to the van. We follow, with Glinda carrying two lamps, and I have a chair for a dinette table. He shoves the mattress onto the top. It’s a double. I’ll have to find sheets somewhere.
“As a matter of fact, I do.” He turns to me, “You need to talk to him. He needs you right now.” He puts a finger in my chest, poking me with each word. “And. You. Need. Him.”
I smack his hand away. “What the hell do you know?” I’ve had enough of talking about this. “I’ve already brought it up to him, and he shut it down!”
He narrows his eyes and practically screams at me. “That’s not what I mean and you know it. I’m tired of watching you drink yourself away. I wouldn’t give you the alcohol if I didn’t think you’d risk your life to get more. It makes me sick that you hide behind those sunglasses like some kind of victim. You kicked his ass, Kansas, you’re stronger than this.” Now he’s in my space, still poking me with his finger. His words are like a slap, and I want him out of my face.
I’m ready for a retort when something comes at me from the side, throwing me out of the way. The side of my face hits the pavement as Glinda screams. Pain spreads through my head as the sunglasses bounce across the concrete. I think Reece pushed me, but the angle is wrong. He grapples with a famished, and I leap into action, pulling a Bersa out. “Hold it away from you!” I yell at Reece.
The zombie pushes Reece at the same time Glinda stabs it in the temple with her small switchblade. It crumples to the ground. I’m shaking and drop the gun.
“God Reece, are you okay?” I ask, but my eyes are on Glinda watching the zombie. She’s shaking her hands in girlie disgust. Her eyes slowly gaze up at me. Reece looks at me, too.
She flinches and scratches her head with wide eyes. “Suga, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say that dead ‘em just knocked yew away from Reece.”
I swallow. “Maybe it saw Reece first and focused on its target.”
Reece nods. “Yeah, but it started to pull back when you yelled, Kan.” He locks eyes with me.
“Well, that fuckin’ shit ain’t possible.” Glinda chimes in, her gutter accent returning tenfold. She can be a little slow to the race sometimes.
*
We loot until dark and have killed about twenty famished by the time the van is full, with furniture on top and stuff in the back. After indulging Glinda in a trip to a beauty supply store, I’m dead tired when we pull the van into the parking lot. At least there is a fence now, so we won’t have to worry about any more famished incidents. No one says anything else about the zombie while we unload. Glinda makes herself at home, cleaning and rearranging. Reece builds a fire in the fireplace. We put the bed as close to it as possible so I can keep warm while sleeping. I scoot the end table with a lamp beside it, and the dinette and four chairs we place in the middle of the space.
“We can get a small sofa or recliner if you want, Kan. Put it on the other side of the fire.” We stretch out a rug to cover the high traffic area of the creaky, hardwood flooring. Glinda and I get busy putting the sheets we looted on the bed.
“There’s enough space for a Christmas tree!” Glinda exclaims.
Reece shakes his head. “Christmas was a few weeks ago.”
I balk at this news. “Was it really?”
“I believe so.”
“We should do Christmas anyhow. I’ll make plans,” Glinda decides. I look away from her.
My stuff is still in Rudy’s room, and I’m conveniently waiting for a time when he won’t be there to go get it. I let Reece and Glinda know I’ll be back and set out to do this last errand. Then I can surely avoid anyone I want, whenever I want.
Opening Rudy’s door, I turn on a light and start putting my things in a box. That’s when I find it. A folded piece of paper catches my attention like a beacon. I pull it out, sit cross-legged on the floor and stare at the piece of paper for a long minute before opening it.
Sunshine,
I can’t say a lot in this note in case someone else finds it. I hope you find it. I know what you went through, and I know you didn’t leave. I talked to Rudy when I got back, but I had to leave. Just know my reasons are good. I’m doing this against the Coalition’s wishes, and if they find out I’m not here, I can’t come back, ever. I hope you can forgive me for everything I kept from you.
Love,
Mac
“Way to be cryptic, Mac.” I mutter and reread it about ten ti
mes. I don’t know who I’m pissed off at more. Rudy for not telling me he talked to Mac, or Mac for putting me in this situation where I have to keep a secret from everyone. Reece can’t ask Dalton about Mac because Dalton doesn’t know he’s gone. This will come back to bite me in the ass.
I toss the note in the box and pick up the laptop to boot it up. While waiting for the start up, I set the painted canvas on the bed after freeing it of dust.
Looking at the laptop, I don’t think it’ll start, but eventually the operating system logo pops up. Thank the computer gods. I freeze when the desktop screen flashes in my face as a picture rolls down from the slow start up. Little memos pop up all over the two faces on the desktop picture. Malachi and me. This picture was at a barbeque a week before our fateful trip to the carnival. The sun was in my eyes, so I had been squinting and smiling at the camera. Malachi looked at me in a sideways glance with a slight smile, but his eyes were lit up in that way.
My stomach dips as this reminds me of another set of eyes that look at me in the exact same way.
“I love it when you smile like that.” I startle and turn to see Rudy over my shoulder. How long has he been standing there?
Leaning against the doorframe, he flinches when he sees me close the laptop and put it in the box.
“You’re still angry, so you’re leaving.” He says it like a fact and not a question.
I shake my head, “Just moving rooms.”
Blowing out a frustrated breath, he continues to watch me.
“Do you know where Mac might be?” I ask.
He levels his gaze at me before glancing up and down the hall, closing the door. “No. He was here, but kept it under wraps. He needed to do something, but he’ll be back. I just don’t know when.” All of this comes out of him with wariness so thick I’m almost sorry I asked. Almost.
I nod. “He left a cryptic note.”
Rudy’s hazel eyes study me. “What are you doing for the space?” The change of subject doesn’t surprise me.
“Looting when Guido needs it. Making rounds. Stuff like that.”
“Let me carry your box.”
“Thanks, but I got it.” His large hand grabs my wrist to stop me. He takes off my sunglasses and meets my gaze.
“We make a good team, Kan.” He has managed to momentarily stun me. A smile tugs at the corners of his mouth as his thumb glides across my wrist. “I keep thinking about the day I picked you up piggy back. When we were running from famished?”
Why would he be thinking about that? All I remember is being incredibly weak and ashamed he had to carry me.
The smile touches his eyes. “We apparently remember it for different things. Do you remember what you did?”
“I fell down on one knee from dizziness.”
“You were really sick, Kan, but we were a mere millimeter of a second from getting taken down by famished. You and your handy machete saved us, Darlin’.”
I shook my head, “I was zombie bait. You saved my life that day when you could have left me behind. I would have.”
“You’re saying you’d have left me?”
“No, I—” I blow out a breath. He’s right. Putting down the box, I wrap my arms around his neck. His body tenses in surprise, but returns my embrace.
“What’s this for?” he asks.
“For the pep talk. For being you. Because we do make a good team.”
He lets go and puts my shades on. “You should get some rest.”
Grabbing the box, I leave the room, not knowing if I’m happy or what, but he said what I needed to hear. I turn and see him watching me from his doorway. Smiling, I wave.
“There it is,” he says as his face lights up.
“What?”
“Your smile.”
*
The first thing I do when I get back is show Reece the note. “What the hell could he be doing?” Reece wonders aloud, rolling a joint. Glinda dishes out food for us.
I shrug. “I don’t know, but it better be mighty important, and telling Dalton that Mac is missing might not be wise. The best thing you can do is talk to Rudy.” Rudy might be telling me less than he knows, but he might tell Reece.
Reece studies me inconspicuously. Glinda hands me a corn-cake and a bowl of mashed apples. We eat in silence. Eventually, Reece clears his throat. “If Rudy is covering for Mac, you really think he’s going to let me know where Dalton is stationed?”
I shoot him a glare.
“You’re stubborn and bullheaded,” he snorts and lights his rolled goody. We all sit in silence as Reece tokes and blows out smoke, his eyes never leaving me.
Glinda chimes in, looking at me but talking to Reece. “Leave it alone, sweets.”
I give her a grateful smile and reach out for the joint Reece is hogging. “Puff, puff, pass.”
We all laugh, easing some tension. “Better than alcohol, I guess.” Reece says as he hands it to me.
Later, they get up to go to Reece’s room after Reece tells me he’ll talk to Rudy about the cult. Glinda moved in with him when she stopped working for Guido. I’m glad they found each other. I’m happy they are happy.
*
The next morning a couple of Guido’s guys are in and out working an electric line through, so I decide to go to the archery targets. I meet Sam and Ty out there. Both of them are improving their weapons skills.
“What up, Kan?” Ty says. The toboggan hat on his head is bumpy with his little dreads. Even though his skill is flipping and throwing butterfly knives, he pulls back the bowstring and shoots the bulls eye right on target.
“Not much,” I reply, eyeing the target. “You guys know what we need?” They look at me expectantly. I smile and point to the roofs, “Moving targets.”
They both laugh. After we kill the targets, we move to the roof of the bachelor building with nothing but the overcast sky above our heads. A group of zombies scratch and claw on one side of the Clap Trap, trying to get in.
“Where are Guido’s guys?” Two of them are putting electricity in my loft, but usually they take care of the famished quickly, if they aren’t using them for recreation purposes. The zombies aren’t in frenzy, but mosey toward our building looking up at us.
Sam shrugs, “More for us.” He shoots the first one. It’s rather newly turned and fat. It slumps to the ground and blood seeps onto the road.
“Shit!” I jump away from edge when I see the face.
“What up?” They say together.
I swallow and feel a stirring of satisfaction. “T-that’s Jeremiah.” They stare at the fat man in confusion. “Jeremiah’s the man who kidnapped me, and who let his sons, Joshua and Joseph, turn on each other in a screwed up game. Joshua ended up shooting Joseph in the face. They used my revolver,” I explain, never taking my eyes from the fat piece of shit.
The remaining zombie’s groans cut through the silence, breaking my trance. Sam and Ty both stare at me.
“That’s super fucked up,” Ty grumbles, watching the zombie.
“Sucks to be him,” Sam announces. I laugh at this, more than I intend. It sounds like I’m waking Frankenstein’s monster.
I barely register the looks Sam and Ty give me.
“Yo Kan, you okay, girl? You soundin’ all loony and shit.” Ty looks truly concerned for my mental health, so I tone it down a notch.
“Fucking perfect,” I tell them when I finally stop. I wipe my face of tears, and go about killing the rest of the famished. Maybe I’ll dream of Joseph’s blown-off head a little less.
CHAPTER NINE
When it crosses my mind what this means for the people under Jeremiah’s care, I go to find Reece.
“We’ll go now and scope it out. They might really need help. Dalton could be infected,” Reece informs me. We are standing at the bottom of the loft escape. “Meet me in about a half hour at the van.”
“You know where it is?”
“Talked to Rudy last night. About a lot of things. Actually, he gets a loose tongue when he’s
spitting drunk,” he says, amused at something. “He thinks whatever Mac is doing, he’s doing for the Coalition.”
My sharp glance makes him take a step back. “Why would he think that?”
Reece shakes his head. “Because Rudy’s used to Mac doing things in secret. They’ve been friends a long time.”
“You didn’t tell him what was in the note?”
“No. I figured if Mac wanted him to know, he would know.”
I kick my foot in the dormant grass. “I’ll tell him. About everything, but we should check it out first.”
Reece smiles and it’s smug as hell. “Good. We leave in a half hour.”
My heart picks up speed. I need to get somewhere out of sight for what I feel coming on. “Okay, meet you in a few.” I run up the stairs and slam my door open, dropping to the floor. I have a feeling I’m going to see Joshua again. A tremble starts in my body. My heart booms in my chest as my breath comes on rapidly. I don’t know if it’s Joshua himself, or all the things I’d experienced within that week making it all run together.
I try to focus on a grain of wood. Sucking in air, blood rushes to my head, and my heart wants to beat out of my chest. My throat hurts as I make it to my knees to crawl to my bed, but my muscles are so tense, I can barely move. I’m beyond feeling anything when my loft goes dark.
*
“Kan?” Someone yells at me in a panicked wail, but it sounds too far away. I try to focus on it, but all I hear is my pounding heartbeat. The floor gets farther away.
“—fucking pale! Can you hear me? Kansas?” I realize I can hear, and my breathing slows. Someone’s shaking me. Wide eyes check me over, bright with dismay, but swirling with greens and hints of brown reminding me of a forest landscape.
“Your eyes.”
He blinks and breathes a relieved puff of breath on my face. “Did you faint?”
