Based on the conversation I’d had with Stratton that day, I felt like probably nothing. It made me want to cry as I imagined Megan taking me to the clinic and holding my hand. Irrationally, I was angry with Stratton even though I knew he hadn’t done anything. Well, anything but hold up his end of the bargain.
Finally, my stomach grumbled so loudly that I clapped my hands over my ears.
“Don’t laugh!” I called out.
“What?”
“Don’t laugh,” I repeated loudly.
“Okay,” Stratton said in a weird tone through the door. “Just come out, Leda. You’re really freaking me out.”
Steeling my nerves, I closed my eyes and opened the door.
“Wow,” Stratton said. “You look great.”
My eyes filled with tears and I clapped my hand over my forehead, forgetting about the burn. I winced as my hand ruptured the developing blister. “No I don’t,” I muttered. “I fucked everything up.”
“Hey, relax,” Stratton said in a soothing voice. He stepped closer and put his fingers under my chin, tilting my head up. “You look great, Leda.” He leaned in and inspected my burn. “I didn’t even notice that at first,” he said quietly. “It was hard to tell when the rest of you was wearing this.”
I blushed and looked away. “I’m sorry,” I whispered hoarsely. “I freaked out when I burned myself and I didn’t want to come out.”
Stratton laughed. He wrapped an arm around me and pulled me close. “It’s fine,” he said quietly. “Let’s just eat out dinner and go to sleep, okay?”
I nodded, still unable to meet his eyes. Stratton helped me undress. When I was naked, he walked over with a big t-shirt of his. “Put this on,” he said, averting his eyes. I blushed anyway. “It’s probably more comfortable than that.”
I slipped it over my head. When I was dressed, I sat on the bed next to Stratton and dug into my food. Without asking what I wanted to do, he put on a movie and we sat quietly, watching and eating until it was over. It was an odd, comfortable lull. The kind of thing I felt with Matthew once things had cooled down. But unlike then, this didn’t feel particularly bad. Instead it felt…comfortable.
That night, Stratton fell asleep with his arm around my waist. I stayed up thinking and worrying the whole night. What was I going to do?
In the morning, everything felt too rushed. We’d packed up the night before, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was forgetting something. I’d had weird dreams all night – not exactly nightmares, but close enough, and in the cold light of dawn, I was starting to have a really bad feeling about going home.
Stratton was whistling as he pulled his pants on. When I glanced at him, he stayed oblivious for a few seconds. I had to call his name to get him to turn around.
“You okay?” He flashed me a smile. “Ready to go home?”
I shook my head. “Not exactly,” I mumbled. But he’d already turned back around and focused his attention on his open suitcase.
“What was that?”
“Nothing,” I sighed. “Did you get all of your stuff from the bathroom?”
As luck would have it, our plane was delayed, but we didn’t find out until we were already at the airport. I was in a pissy mood; my period was almost a week late, I was still starving, and my legs were killing me. Plus, the idea of going back home was weighing heavily on me. I loved the intimacy that we’d created over the trip. Knowing that it would all be gone when we were back at home was a crushing blow.
“What’s with you?” Stratton asked, once we were finally settled on the plane. “You’ve been so moody this morning.”
“Sorry,” I said, sighing and raking a hand through my hair. “I’m just stressed about going home, that’s all.”
Stratton narrowed his eyes at me. “Everything will be fine,” he said, sounding strained. “Just try not to let little things bother you, okay?”
I slumped down in my seat and pressed my forehead against the glass. Even through the double layers of plexiglass, it still felt cold. The sensation was a welcome relief; I’d been uncomfortably overwarm since leaving the hotel. Little things? A voice echoed in the back of my mind. Is that all he thought they were?
Even though I knew that in my rational mind we weren’t ready for a baby, part of me wanted it to be true. Part of me wished desperately that I was pregnant. I imagined Stratton and I as new parents: stressed, tired, frumpy…but incredibly in love, and desperately happy together. I imagined that we could have the same kind of intimacy that we’d created on the trip together. Only better, because there would be a baby.
I wrinkled my nose. What the hell was happening to me? I didn’t even like babies. Part of me had always thought that I’d never have children. It was something that put me at odds with almost everyone else; I always felt cold for not loving kids. When Judith had been a baby, I’d hated her. She’d been a mass of pink wriggly flesh, screaming and shouting and wailing at all hours of the night. Our parents had decided to just let her “cry it out” which only meant that as she bawled and shrieked, the rest of us had to lie awake and listen to her. There were times when I went into her room and begged her to stop making noise. Mom always thought I was being dramatic, but I’d felt a panic being around my sister as a baby. Plus, the physical weakness of her was terrifying. What if someone dropped her? She seemed so fragile, and yet so sluggish, like a human worm. Every time I worried about hurting that soft spot on her head, another part of me was irritated because she was so fat and heavy to lug around.
No, I definitely didn’t think I would be a great mother. But when I thought about babies with Stratton, I didn’t think of my horrible sister as an infant. I saw a cute, smiling baby with Stratton’s green eyes and my dark fringe for hair. I saw us cuddling in front of a fireplace and rocking the baby to sleep before setting it down in a crib and making love in front of the fire. I imagined myself taking pictures of Stratton trying to feed the baby and laughing when he was covered in spit-up. It was strangely adorable.
I managed to doze off during the flight and woke up groggily to Stratton shaking my shoulder. There were flashing lights and beeping noises outside and I felt disoriented and badly in need of a shower. The suffocating air from the plane was starting to make me feel claustrophobic; no matter how cold it was outside, I closed my eyes and imagined running through the air without a coat on.
“Are you okay?” Stratton looked at me with concern. “You were making a lot of noises in your sleep.”
I nodded, brushing my sweaty hair away from my forehead. “I’m fine,” I said, after a beat. “Just tired.”
As the shuttle bus pulled us through the streets of Charlottesville, it didn’t seem like we’d been away for a few days. It only seemed like I’d been gone for hours. And yet it felt like a lot had changed. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to look at Stratton in the same way, at least not for a long time. When I checked the calendar on my phone, I saw that tomorrow was Megan’s bachelorette party. It was embarrassing knowing that I hadn’t helped her out as much as I could have; I felt like a bad friend. But that was nothing new, especially as of late.
Stratton and I didn’t talk for most of the ride home. Whenever I asked him something, he’d grunt in return. After a while I just looked out the window and thought about the trip. Already, it seemed like it had been years ago.
Stratton helped me carry my suitcase up the stairs. When we were in front of the door, he looked at me. “Back to normal,” he said, grinning at me. I looked away. Stratton fumbled with the keys and the door swung open. But when I looked back at his face, he wasn’t grinning anymore. He looked like he’d seen a ghost.
“Stratton,” I heard a female voice say. “I’m so glad you’re home!”
The door swung all the way open and a petite, gorgeous blonde looked up at me through long lashes. “Hello,” she said with a polite smirk on her face. “I’m Miriam.”
Chapter Six
Leda
“You’ve got to be fucking ki
dding me,” Stratton said. He glared at Miriam and threw his hands up in the air. “What the fuck is this? Did my mother send you?”
“Stratton,” Miriam said in a soft tone. She reached out for his arm but he batted her touch away. “It’s me. Aren’t you happy?”
Stratton stared at her and I felt my heart sink. Already it was like he’d forgotten that I was even in the room. I felt our vacation melting away in a matter of seconds.
“No,” he said slowly. “No, I’m not really happy about this, Miriam. I can’t see you anymore, I told you that. We’re over.”
She bit her lip, managing to somehow look both beautiful and pissed off. “That was a lie,” she said calmly. “You were just telling me to make me want you more, Stratton. I know how you work.”
Stratton shook his head. “You’re delusional,” he told her. “Come on. I’m calling a cab and you’re going back to the airport.”
“No!” Miriam cried. Her voice echoed off the walls of the foyer. “No, I’m not leaving. Not until we talk. And it’s late. I won’t be able to get a flight back until the morning.”
“Then you can stay at the airport,” I cut in. “I’ll drive you. Come on.”
Miriam looked at me and laughed. It was a sound like the tinkling of bells. “Who are you?” She asked in that musical voice of hers. “What are you doing here?”
“I live here,” I hissed. “The more important question is what are you doing here?”
Miriam rolled her eyes. She turned back to Stratton and put one of her dainty little hands on his chest. I wanted to smack it off, and I had to fight the urge to actually push her away.
“Stratton,” she said in a soft voice. “Let me just talk to you, okay? Like old times. We just need to talk.”
“No,” Stratton said, shaking his head. “Stay on the couch out here.” He grabbed his suitcase. “I’ll take you to the airport tomorrow, Miriam.”
“What the fuck?” I hissed. “You’re not going to kick her out?!”
Stratton looked at me with tired eyes. “She’s right, Leda,” he said. “She won’t be able to get a plane until tomorrow morning. I can’t make her stay at the airport.”
I felt my face twist up in anger. “What the fuck are you talking about?” I yelled. “Who cares? Who the fuck cares if she stays at the airport overnight? What the fuck is she doing in our house?”
Stratton gave me a look before laughing shortly. “Don’t be so petty, Leda,” he said. “Don’t be cruel. You don’t have anything to worry about. She and I are over. But letting her stay on the couch overnight is the polite thing to do. You shouldn’t be so heartless.”
I narrowed my eyes at the same time I felt tears pricking them. “I’m being petty?” I said incredulously. “I don’t think she thought about the polite thing to do for a second,” I added. “She showed up without thinking about how it would make us feel!”
Stratton narrowed his eyes at me and leaned closer. “I get that this bothers you,” he whispered sharply. “But be the bigger person here, Leda. I need you to do that.”
I blinked slowly. A stream of hot water ran down my cheek and before I could wipe it away, I heard Miriam giggle slowly. I glared at her and Stratton. Grabbing my suitcase, I stalked outside and threw it in the trunk of my car.
Before I even knew where I was going, I was heading to Megan’s apartment. A little dread filled me when I realized that she wasn’t going to be expecting me, and I wondered whether or not Tyler was home. I crossed my fingers under the wheel and closed my eyes, desperately wishing that I’d have Megan to myself.
I knew that I should have called, but instead I knocked on the door. My heart was thudding in my chest and my breath was coming in little damp bursts. Instead of feeling heartbroken, I felt panicked. What was I supposed to do now that she was here? I felt stupid for thinking that a vacation ever could have made things right between Stratton and myself. And I felt-
“Hi,” Megan said crossly. When she noticed my face, her anger quickly turned to concern. “Oh, my god, Leda, what’s wrong? Come in,” she added, grabbing me by the arm and pulling me inside.
“Is Tyler home?” I sniffled. Megan shook her head.
“He’s in Vegas for the weekend,” she said sourly. “Bachelor party.”
“Things are so fucked up,” I whispered. Megan looked at me and narrowed her eyes.
“Leda, what the fuck are you talking about? Things are fine,” she said, wrapping her arms around me and pulling me close. “Did something happen?”
I bit my lip. Suddenly, everything came out in a rush. “Stratton and I are married,” I said, sobs hitching my throat. Megan looked at me with wide eyes.
“What? Is this a joke?”
I shook my head and another wave of sobs overtook me. Megan patiently let me cry and rubbed my back while I wiped the dripping snot off my face. “No,” I said, my voice racked with crying. “No, it’s not a joke. We got married so he could stay in the country.”
Megan cocked her head to the side. “So what’s the big deal?” She kept rubbing my back. “What happened? What’s wrong?”
“That is what’s wrong,” I said dramatically, flopping down on the couch and closing my eyes. “Nothing’s been right ever since then!”
Megan sat down next to me and took one of my hands in her two soft ones. “So…have you guys like, hooked up? Is that why you were being so weird with him?”
I bit my lip and nodded. “Yeah,” I said finally. “Yeah, we’ve slept together a few times. And we just went on vacation together. And when I got home, his ex-girlfriend was in our house. And he won’t kick her out!”
“What a bastard,” Megan replied automatically. Her eyes searched my face. “Wait, you said that his ex is there and he won’t make her leave? What the fuck, Leda?”
“I don’t know,” I mumbled. “She said she wouldn’t be able to get a plane home until tomorrow so he said that she could stay on the couch. He called me heartless for wanting to kick her out.”
Megan bit her lip. “Look, you know I love you, right?”
I nodded. This wasn’t going to be good.
“But sometimes you can overreact just a teensy bit, Leda. He didn’t want her to stay. He just didn’t want her to spend the night at the airport. That’s pretty gentlemanly, especially coming from Stratton.”
“I know!” I wailed, covering my eyes with my hands. “I know. I can’t help it though! Why doesn’t he treat me like that? Why is he only nice to her?” The sobs came back and I hunched over and cried. Megan sat next to me; I could hear her slow, deliberate breathing.
“Leda I think you’re overreacting,” she said softly. “Is something else on your mind?”
My eyes shot open. “Shit,” I muttered. “I’ll be right back.”
Megan didn’t say anything as I got off the couch and walked into the bathroom. When my pants and underwear were pulled down, I leaned over on the toilet and put my elbows on my knees. When I peed, there was a sharp pain in my lower belly. I looked at the crotch of my panties and saw a dark reddish-brown smear.
“Shit,” I muttered softly.
When I got out of the bathroom, Megan was giving me that same funny look. “What’s wrong?” She asked again and I had to swallow to keep from crying.
“I got my period,” I told her, looking at my feet.
“So? That’s good, right?” I didn’t say anything. Megan gaped. “Oh, my god,” she finally said. “Are you sure? Did you…want it?”
Tears dripped down my cheeks and I buried my face in my hands. “I don’t know,” I told her. “I don’t know. I thought I was and I should have hated the idea but I didn’t and now I don’t know. Stratton hates me and I can’t go back home and everything sucks, Megan. Why did I have to do this? Why did I have to say yes?”
Megan reached over and rubbed my back. “Tell you what,” she said slowly. “You stay over here tonight and we’ll leave for West Virginia tomorrow. You won’t have to go home until next weekend. Does that give you
enough time to think?” She was looking at me sharply but her tone was soft and I felt relief flood my body. Relief that I had a good friend despite managing to be a bitch. Relief that there was someone who cared about me. But most of all, relief that I didn’t have to go home.
Chapter Seven
Stratton
“You really thought this was a good idea?” I looked at Miriam. She was sitting on the couch with her ankles crossed demurely, gazing up at me. Despite the fact that I didn’t want to see her, I felt my body reacting to her presence. It felt weird to be in the same room as her and not touch her. When we were together, we were all over each other, all the time. Holding her at arm’s length made the split between us really seem final. I saw that even though she was beautiful, she was obviously trying to act like nothing had happened. Her face showed worry-lines and stress, but she was grinning and acting like I’d been happy to see her. It was exhausting. It reminded me of when we were together, and I’d needle at her, and she’d just smile at me like always. It was a pretty bad feeling.
BAD BOY ROMANCE: DIESEL: Contemporary Bad Boy Biker MC Romance (Box Set) (New Adult Sports Romance Short Stories Boxset) Page 145
