And I really struggled to get through the pain in my heart.
I knew I was being foolish, and selfish. I knew I was acting like I did in the old days, before she became an Aventis and was sought after by the boys; before the days I became a Familiar, and fought off countless numbers of her suitors.
I knew all that.
And I understood that I couldn’t go back to those days.
I had to let Haruka go, and I had to do it properly.
Not a selfish goodbye full of bitterness and anguish like I did seven months ago,
A proper goodbye.
And maybe, just maybe, we could start again…as friends.
But never more than friends.
And that was what I found unbearably difficult to accept.
I heard the sounds of someone moving about on the rooftop.
“Caelum? Caelum are you up there? Gods damn it. I know I saw him come through here.”
Damn, I knew that voice. How could I not know that voice?
Haruka had followed me. I hadn’t expected that and now I was trapped.
“Caelum? Where are you?”
Crap. If she didn’t pipe down she’d attract attention.
I sat up, then stood up and walked to the edge of the hut’s rooftop. “Hey, keep it down.”
She looked up and grimaced. “So that’s where you were.” She walked to the hut’s wall and stretched her arms toward me. “Lift me up.”
“Haruka, what are you doing here?”
“I came to talk to you. Now lift me up.”
I glanced around, wondering how much attention she was drawing. Then I resigned myself to fate and crouched near the edge of the hut’s flat roof. I grabbed her hands, and found it surprisingly easy to lift her up onto the roof.
Haruka muttered, “Thanks”. She patted herself down and straightened her uniform. “You’re quite strong.”
“As expected,” I muttered back. “Why won’t you respect my privacy?”
I didn’t wait for an answer. I just walked back to my spot on the roof and lay down like before, with my arms folded behind my head for a pillow.
I closed my eyes, but heard her clearly.
“His name is Duncan Armand Avenir. He’s a senior, Class Three Aye.”
Opening one eye, I peered at her. “I didn’t ask.”
“No, but you were wondering. In fact it’s been bugging you since morning.”
“So why are you telling me?”
“Because if I don’t tell you, you’ll sulk around for hours, days, maybe weeks.”
“This may come as a surprise, Haruka, but I do have other problems to deal with. You’re dating life isn’t one of them.”
“Yeah, I’ll bet it isn’t.”
“Would you just leave.”
In defiance she sat down beside me on the roof, bending her legs and draping her arms over her knees. “Duncan and I have been going out as friends for a while now, almost always in the company of our respective friends. Today he asked me out on a proper date.”
I opened both eyes and stared at her. “Hey, I said I wasn’t asking.”
She met my gaze. “Does it bother you that much?”
“Not at all. I couldn’t care less who you date.”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you on Friday, when it was just the two of us in the garden.”
I closed my eyes and shook my head.
Yes, I was annoyed she hadn’t told me back then.
I was also annoyed she hadn’t mentioned it yesterday.
I swallowed but held my tongue.
Haruka broke the silence that fell between us. “Hey, Caelum, say something.”
“What do you want me to say? Congratulations Haruka, he seems like a swell guy. How’s that?”
“My mistake for asking,” she muttered.
I opened my eyes and peered at her.
Haruka was looking down at her arms folded around her knees. “I wanted to tell you. I just…didn’t know how.”
“Haruka, it’s fine. Really, I’m not bothered by it at all—” I stopped sharply, and turned my head away.
For a while I didn’t know what to say. Everything that came to mind felt harsh and abrasive, so I chose to say nothing until my emotions had calmed down.
I was annoyed. I couldn’t deny it anymore.
And I felt hurt. She kept talking about us being friends, but she kept this a secret.
After a minute of silence, I shook my head slowly. “It’s fine. Really, it’s okay. You have your life and I have mine. There’s no need to explain.”
“Yes there is.” With that I felt her hands grab my hair and pull me upright.
“Damn it that hurts!”
“Caelum, look at me.”
“First, let go of my hair.”
She complied so I acquiesced to give her my undivided attention.
Haruka narrowed her eyes at me. “Caelum, listen carefully. Duncan and I are testing the waters. We’re not dating—we’re almost dating—but we both like each other. Unfortunately he got on my nerves this morning and I brushed him off. And it’s all your fault.” She paused then added, “Actually, it’s my fault.”
“Huh? What are you trying to say?”
“People saw us talking in the garden yesterday, and now it seems there are rumors floating around concerning us.”
“But there is no us,” I pointed out.
“Precisely,” she agreed with a nod. She turned away and looked out at the school grounds visible from the rooftop. “And now Duncan is beginning to doubt me. I told him his lack of faith in me hurt and I left him standing outside homeroom.”
“Lack of faith? Wouldn’t that imply you’re already dating?”
Haruka sighed loudly but it sounded more like a grunt. “Yes, quite the conundrum.”
“No it’s not a conundrum. You’re just messing up your descriptions. In other words, you’re giving him the wrong idea.”
“So how do I fix it?”
I stared at her in growing disbelief. “You’re asking me? Why? This isn’t my problem.”
“Caelum, tell me how to fix it.”
I opened and closed my mouth a few times, then I gave up and lay back down on my arms. “I don’t know. Go talk to the student councilor. She gets paid by the hour, I don’t.”
“Caelum,” she growled and reached for me again.
This time I was ready for her and grabbed her hands, but as we struggled on the rooftop, I ended up pulling Haruka onto me.
“Ooof,” I expelled as one of her knees connected with my groin.
Haruka couldn’t catch herself and landed on my chest.
Actually, her rather large breasts landed on my chest, absorbing the impact like a set of twin cushions.
Despite the pain in my lower region, I couldn’t ignore the feeling of her wholesome fullness pressed down on either side of my solar plexus.
Wow, they were so soft yet firm too, and their shape was amazing.
I knew she had an impressive bust, but I’d never had physical contact with it. I wouldn’t have dreamt of touching her without her permission. Absolutely not.
Pain or no pain, my lower extremity was beginning to make its approval felt.
Surely she could feel that? Her knee was right on it.
I felt myself blush in embarrassment as I lost control of it. No amount of pleading was going to get it to back down.
My eyes were wide open, and so were Haruka’s.
Large, brown eyes that were warm and inviting.
I swallowed in mounting panic as I felt myself fall into her gaze. “Ha—Haruka? Um, it’s not what you think?”
She remained silent, and I could feel her body rise and fall with every breath she took as she continued to lie on my chest. I didn’t need my Fragment to allow me to sense the beating of her heart. I could hear it and feel it as clearly as I could feel mine.
After what felt like an interminable length of time, Haruka slowly shifted her body over me, dragging herself
higher. Now her face was directly above my face, and our lips were only inches apart.
I knew in a heartbeat what she had in mind. I had to try and talk her out of it.
I had to at least make an effort – token resistance as it were.
“Haruka, don’t. You’ll regret it—”
I lost my lips to her.
I couldn’t stop her from kissing me, and I mean properly kissing me.
Down below, my body was raising the mast and hoisting the white flag in defeat.
I couldn’t stop her any more than I could halt time.
After a little while I gave up and nervously wrapped my arms around her, my hands settling on the small of her back.
It wasn’t how I’d ever pictured kissing her, but then again, very rarely do plans like these go to plan.
But what right did I have to complain.
I was kissing the girl of my dreams; the girl I’d fought for on countless occasions; the girl I’d hoped would one day walk by my side as my girlfriend and maybe more.
She broke the kiss, and drew back a little.
I felt the warmth between us slowly wane away as her eyes searched my face.
She didn’t move, she just kept looking at me, blinking slowly with her long dark lashes.
She was so beautiful. If I was dreaming all of this I would cry and tear apart my room upon waking up.
But I wasn’t waking up.
She felt real, as did her taste in my mouth. As did the warmth of her body, and the softness of her firm breasts.
What was she waiting for?
Was she waiting for me to make the next move?
Was that it?
Was she giving me the chance to decide how this ended…or how this began?
I swallowed down her taste in my mouth – a rather pleasant taste.
Make a choice. Take a chance. Grab onto her and don’t let go!
Did I have the courage to do that?
I was a Familiar, and she was an Aventis, something I’d convinced myself I hated.
But as I looked up at her, how could I dream of hating her? How could I have ever said those hurtful words to her seven months ago?
How I could I have been so stupid?
I reached up and cupped her face, and then drew her lips down onto mine.
This time, I was the one kissing her.
After all these years, I finally had her in my arms, and I had no intention of letting her go.
How could I have so stupidly tried to cut my ties with her?
I loved this girl. I’d loved her for so long, there was no way I could ever stop loving her.
Her lips separated from mine, and raised herself on her elbows.
A sudden fear gripped my heart and an emptiness filled my chest.
She was going to leave.
She was going to rise to her feet at any moment and then leave.
And then she would act as if none of this had happened.
I felt the emptiness inside me swell to agonizing proportions until it bordered on the unbearable.
The dream was coming to an end.
It really was time to wake up and face reality.
I swallowed in anguish as I looked up at her.
Her eyes were clear, and her face was flushed but her expression was calm and serene. How could she think of shattering my heart while looking at me with such a face?
I couldn’t find the strength to say anything, not even plead with her not to leave.
I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes.
Haruka’s voice was a whisper.
“I love you….”
I felt my heart beat painfully. Would she still leave, after saying those words? Would she flee the rooftop?
My voice was anything but steady, but it was there when I needed it.
“Haruka…please, don’t go. Please, don’t ever leave me again.”
She blinked slowly, then broke into a smile.
“No, I won’t ever leave. And I won’t allow you to leave me either.”
With her fingertips, she brushed away the moisture in the corner of my left eye.
“Big boys don’t cry,” she whispered, then lowered her lips to mine once again.
Chapter 12 – Doubt.
(Haruka)
First Semester, School Week Two.
Tuesday went by.
Wednesday come along.
I had a message from Duncan on my school mail account. He wanted to talk. The tone of his message was apologetic.
I read it a couple of times and wondered what I would say to him.
I liked him, I truly did.
But I’d gone and complicated everything.
I had chased Caelum down, intending to explain everything and come clean. Instead, I’d taken the bull by the horns and subsequently lost control of my heart.
I’d let the reins of self-control slip free of my grasp, and spent the remainder of the lunch break kissing him over and over on the hard rooftop.
I loved him.
I’d always loved him.
I couldn’t run away from the truth anymore.
I didn’t care what my parents thought.
I didn’t care what my classmates thought.
I didn’t care if I was bullied or harassed.
It couldn’t change how I felt about him.
I really, truly, madly and very deeply loved him.
And I knew he felt the same away about me.
It wasn’t the Countess he loved.
It wasn’t Caprice Steiner.
It was me. Of that there was no doubt in my heart.
So now I had a problem – what to do about Duncan?
But before then, I needed to talk to Siobhan and Alistair. I needed to tell them the truth, and hope for their understanding and support.
The door to homeroom opened and Caprice Steiner walked in. The room grew quiet as she entered, and a number of eyes followed her progress to the back of the room. With her customary lack of expression she walked to her smart desk and sat down.
I glanced at her over my shoulder.
I wasn’t the only one throwing glances her way.
From the holovids uploaded to the cynet I knew she’d been injured. She’d been stabbed through her chest by a three foot long blade. And yet here she was, sitting at her desk four days later looking as good as new.
Even an Aventis couldn’t achieve that kind of recovery.
Inhuman. No, it was beyond human. A preternatural healing ability amplified exponentially by interaction with the Symbiote.
She was something not quite human and not quite Aventis.
Something familiar to both.
Caprice’s eyes met mine. Her expression was flat and dull, but not her eyes. They looked into me, into my soul as the saying goes, and I suddenly feared she knew everything that happened between Caelum and I on the rooftop.
I tore my gaze away and looked to the front of the classroom.
That couldn’t be? How could she know, unless someone was watching us.
The door to the classroom opened again and a number of my classmates wandered in.
Caelum followed a few steps behind, closing the door as soon as he entered the room. His gaze went to me, and I saw the flicker of a smile on his face, but then his eyes found Caprice and a look of shock spread across his face.
Shock that quickly turned to relief.
He walked quickly up to her and sat down at his smart desk that was situated beside hers.
He looked happy to see her, and I saw the familiar faint smile she often bestowed on him adorn her face.
I turned away, unable to watch them anymore.
I understood what he was doing, ignoring me while at the same time acknowledging me.
There was no choice. I had matters to deal with on my end, loose ends to tie up. Caelum had promised to leave them in my hands. So for the time being he acted as though yesterday never happened.
But it did happen, and I couldn’t help the painful jealo
usy that welled up in my chest.
I wanted him to look at me that way.
I wanted him to pay attention to me that way.
I clenched my hands under my desk, digging my nails into my palms until I felt them slick with my blood.
#
(Haruka)
Lunch time.
Siobhan, Alistair and I were sitting on the edge of the sports field where the Track-and-Field club was doing their daily round of training during the break.
I had talked them into coming here to the grassy knoll overlooking the field.
There were a few students around, but none close enough to overhear us, even if they had the improved hearing that comes with being an Aventis.
I told them about yesterday’s experience with Caelum on the rooftop.
Siobhan stopped eating, put her lunch box aside on the grass beside her, and then grabbed her hair in despair.
“Haruka, please tell me you just made all that up.”
“No, I didn’t. It happened.”
Siobhan groaned. “No, no, no. This is bad. This is really bad.”
“Why is it bad?”
“Because a lot of students know that Duncan is keen on you. I heard it on the grapevine. He couldn’t wait for school to being again so that he could see you often.”
“Okay….”
“Don’t you get it? If you dump him what do you think people are going to say?”
Alistair added her thoughts. “Dumping a star athletic, grade aye student, all around nice guy with good looks for a Familiar that’s infamous on the cynet for destroying private property.” She laughed while sipping her canned soda. “How romantic.”
I felt somewhat aghast when she put it that way.
Alistair and Siobhan stared at me.
Siobhan muttered loudly, “What were you thinking?”
“I wasn’t. I wasn’t thinking at all. I let my heart take over.”
Alistair quipped, “You’re doomed.”
Siobhan whined, “She’s doomed? What about us? What are they going to think of us?”
I arched my eyebrows at them. “Well thank you for the support.” I stood up, and took the remains of my lunch with me. Conveniently it was contained in a plastic container that I could seal up like a lunch box.
Pride x Familiar Page 21
