by Aiden Bates
Elias snorted. "Cute. You want me to get you an ice pack for that eye or what?"
"I'm good."
Elias headed for the kitchen and brought back a bag of frozen peas anyway. Pat didn't argue, but leaned his head back and put it onto his eye. "Do you always need an ice pack?"
"Family gatherings can get intense." Elias sat down next to him. "So, what happened?"
Pat waved a hand. He didn't want to make a big deal out of the fight. He wanted to enjoy his time with Elias, not soothe Elias' fears. He wasn't even sure how he felt about Elias getting worried about him. They weren't mated. They might not even be a couple, Pat didn't know. It had been so long since he'd let himself even consider anything of the sort that he couldn't quite wrap his head around it.
Elias wanted to know, though. Pat didn't want to hide things from his love. "So, Robles had this suspect with his case, and I mean the guy's a killer, right? So, he asks for backup. I went along. And we both had this feeling, like something's not quite right. You get that when you've been doing this job for a while, you know? It's an instinct, and it's a good thing because it keeps you alive. So, we're both pretty wary when we got to interview this guy."
Elias picked up Pat's left hand. Pat hadn't bothered to do anything to either hand, but he knew that the knuckles were pretty banged up. Elias spread some kind of cream onto the scrapes. "Okay. That makes sense."
"Right." Pat moistened his lips. It was hard to concentrate with Elias touching him like that. He didn't even mean for it to be sexual, but Pat couldn't help but react. "Anyway. We showed up, and we were talking just like we normally would, and the guy pulled a knife. I knocked it out of his hand, and we started grappling while Robles went to try to cuff him. Believe me. He got the worst of it." Pat met Elias' eyes. "He got a few lucky shots. That's all. It's not something to worry about."
"I get to be worried about knives. You do get that you and Nick both had guns, right?" Elias didn't get hysterical. He just put Pat's left hand down and started work on the other one.
"Well, we didn't want to shoot him, Elias." Pat blinked. "How would we get a confession out of a corpse? The whole point is to get closure for the victim's family, for crying out loud."
"Okay." Elias kissed his shoulder. "I'll be happy with you not wanting to go shoot suspects at random, I suppose. I'd be happier if there weren't a knife involved, but I'm not going to pretend that I haven't taken a few hits myself."
Rage surged through Pat, and he was on his feet before he recognized that he was moving. "Who?" His voice was little more than a growl.
Elias stared up at him, a mix of longing and anxiety on his face. "Sometimes, when the news is bad, parents or caregivers can get uptight. Nothing too bad."
"I will rip them limb from limb." Pat ran his hands through his hair and tried to calm himself. "Sorry. I'm not normally like this."
Elias relaxed a little. "But you do mean it." He gave Pat a little smile and patted the sofa. "Look. We're both safe, we're both here. Would you rather go out or get delivery? I can cook for us tomorrow night."
"Seriously?" Pat sat back down.
"It's a fun hobby." Elias chuckled. "It's soothing, and of course you're more in control of what you put into your body. I like that." He rested his head on Pat's shoulder, and Pat kissed the top of his head. "What do you say to delivery? I know it's lazy of me, but the commute is long and I kind of just want to hole up in here at the end of the day."
"Sounds good to me."
They got delivery from a local Indian place and then they spent some time just hanging out and relaxing. They watched a little bit of television, and they chatted about things that weren't the job or their history. As the evening wore on, Elias yawned and stretched. "The guest room is available if you want it, or if you feel like you need it. You'd have your own bathroom and your own balcony."
"There are balconies?" Pat asked, and told himself that he didn't squeak. Why someone would want to sit outside at thirty stories above cold hard Rhode Island pavement was far beyond Pat.
Elias grinned but kept right on speaking. "Right, so you'd have your own bathroom. But if you'd rather sleep next to me, I mean that's an option too."
Pat took Elias' hand. "Can I?"
"I'd like that more." Elias blushed. "I mean even if we just sleep; I know that it was a long night for you last night."
"We've got all weekend." Pat kissed his lips.
They retreated to the master bedroom, which had even more of those dreadful floor-to-ceiling windows. At least this one had some blinds. They lay down together, and the cushy mattress and soothing lilac scent soothed Pat to sleep almost immediately.
The next morning, Pat woke up before Elias. That was fine; he needed a little bit of time to think. He crept into the complicated shower and got it running, and then soaped himself up. He'd always done his best thinking in the shower.
For the case, the best way to find what they were looking for might be historical maps. Nixon wouldn't want to build a whole new shelter for her stolen family, but she might be up to repairing one that was in disrepair. The historical map, when compared to a modern map, would give them some hints on where to look.
As for everything else going on in his life…
Pat scrubbed and wished that he could wash the past ten years away. He didn't regret becoming a cop, not at all. He regretted not making Elias understand why he had to do it. Maybe then they could have stayed together. He could have claimed Elias, and they could live together—well, not in a place like this, having a doorman was weird—but someplace where they could both be comfortable and maybe have a dog.
Now? Who was Pat kidding? He knew what he wanted. He wanted the past ten years of his life back; he wanted things to have gone differently. He wished for his future to go differently too, but he wished for a lot of things. He could wish to be a soccer star back in Brazil, too, but it wasn't going to happen.
He wasn't sure what Elias wanted, but before he got all worked up about his lover's expectations he needed to sort out what he had to offer. If he piled his own assets into a heap, he'd have to admit that the heap was pretty small. He had enough money to support himself, and his omega, and even a kid or two if they all lived within their means. That was what he'd always said that he needed, in order to claim an omega.
It wasn't his financial assets that were of concern. What he lacked were mental and emotional assets. He shouldn't have to have his omega sitting there and tending his boo-boos. His omega shouldn't be his damn mommy. He was supposed to take care of Elias, not the other way around.
And it wasn't that Pat didn't believe in monogamy anymore. It wasn't that he didn't think that he was capable of being faithful. The last thing in the world that Pat wanted to do was to hurt Elias. At the same time, he didn't know if he still had the same emotional capacity, the same amount of heart to give as he'd had when they'd been young.
Ever since he'd walked out of that apartment, he'd been more than happy to share his body with others for a night or two. He hadn't shared his heart, and no one had wanted him to. He'd forgotten how. Was it right to ask for Elias' patience? Especially when he didn't know if he'd ever get to a point when he could give what Elias had every right to expect?
He rinsed the shampoo from his long, dark hair and sighed. Now that he and Elias were back and on good terms, was it right to just run because he was scared? He loved Elias. He didn't want to be apart from him.
As though the thought had conjured him, a slender shape appeared through the steam. "Hey." Elias' voice cut through the fog of Pat's thoughts. "What're you doing up?"
"Thinking." Pat smiled. He didn't know if Elias could see him through the steam, but he'd be able to hear the smile in his voice.
"Are you up for company or is this solo thinking time?"
Pat chuckled. "I'm only up for one person's company, but since that person is you I'd be thrilled if you joined me." He moved aside so that Elias could slip into the elegantly tiled shower.
Eli
as rinsed himself down, and Pat took it upon himself to wash Elias' hair. He'd always liked to do this when they'd been young. He liked to massage Elias' scalp, and to hear the little sighs of contentment that came from the man he loved.
That hadn't changed. Pat hummed with pleasure as Elias' whole demeanor shifted. His shoulders dropped and his eyes closed. "You have no idea how good this feels, Pat," Elias murmured. "I mean really."
Pat let Elias rinse off and soaped up a clean washcloth for him. Once Elias was out of danger of getting shampoo in his eye, Pat gently scrubbed him down from hairline to toes. Elias had been half hard from the hair washing. Now, he hardened completely, his cock a beautiful red against his light olive belly.
Elias rinsed again, and he turned to face Pat. He didn't say anything. He just kissed him. Pat loved Elias' kisses. They were always so full of feelings that couldn't be expressed with mere, profane words. Pat deepened the kiss and let his hands run over the swell of Elias' ass.
Elias winked at him and trailed his lips down. They ran down Pat's chin, and down his neck. They grazed his collarbone and paused to tease his nipple, just a little bit. Then they trailed still further down, until Elias was tormenting Pat with kitten licks to his painfully hard and demanding cock.
Pat braced himself against the wall. He liked to get oral. He never asked for it, but he liked it. If Elias was willing, he wasn't going to say no.
Elias swirled that devilish tongue of his around the crown a few times, applied a little suction, and then went to town. Pat cried out, hand splayed out flat against the wall. The water from the shower still ran hot, but the cavern of Elias' mouth was a different kind of heat altogether. Elias' hand gripped him where he couldn't fit him into his mouth, and his grip was strong.
It was maddening, and Elias knew exactly what to do to bring Pat to release as soon as he could. Pat tapped him on the head, being far too lost for words in any language, but Elias just smirked up at him. Pat rode the wave of his pleasure while Elias nursed him through it, until he was soft again.
He helped Elias to his feet and held him close. "That was not what I expected as a wake-up call," he said, even as he took Elias in hand.
Elias buried his face in Pat's shoulder as Pat jerked him to completion. "I wanted to," he gasped. "That's all."
"My God, you're amazing."
Elias finished. They cleaned themselves up and headed into the kitchen to make coffee, which they brought back to bed and drank while they watched Providence turn below them.
Chapter Nine
Sometimes, Elias remembered the time he'd lived with Pat as a beautiful idyll in an otherwise starkly competitive life. Most of the time, though, he remembered it as it had been when it had ended—tense, difficult, sometimes harsh. That was only natural, since those were the memories associated with the split.
The weekend he spent with Pat at his place in Providence was more like his idyllic memories, but more real. After all, a student apartment wasn't actually furnished with clouds or lit by rainbows. They cooked dinner together, and squabbled about the right amount of garlic to add. Pat helped Elias with a few household chores that he'd been putting off. There was sex. Sex had always been good between them, but Pat had turned into some kind of sex god while they'd been apart, and Elias felt kind of embarrassed that he didn't have the same skill or versatility.
Pat didn't seem to mind. He treated Elias like gold.
Pat went back to his place in Boston on Sunday evening. Elias had lived alone ever since he'd bought this place, but it had never felt empty before. Now it did. The condo felt like a cavern, vast and miserable, and every sound echoed off of the walls with an air of finality. At least the bed still smelled like Pat.
Elias had time, and space, to think. He'd been okay living on his own. He wouldn't have said that he was ecstatic about being single, but he hadn't felt compelled to seek out a new alpha and he hadn't exactly missed the companionship or anything. He could probably get back to that state of equilibrium if he tried.
But was that something that he wanted?
On the one hand, equilibrium was good. It kept him solid and steady. He'd done good work, fine work, for HomeSafe. He could continue to do good and fine work for HomeSafe and be content with it. He'd leave an excellent legacy behind him of rescued children and reunited families.
On the other hand, he hadn't felt so complete as he did when he was with Pat in ten years. He was lighter, freer, cleaner and even younger. Some of that was just a factor of biology. Elias was an omega. He was hardwired to respond to physical affection, and he wasn't in a position to get a lot of casual touches or hugs in his everyday life.
The rest of it, though—that was all Pat. That was Pat's scent. That was Pat's mouth. That was Pat's alpha essence, strong and powerful without ever being overbearing. He had a way of making people feel safe around him, even betas, and Elias couldn't help but succumb.
It would be something, to be claimed by Pat.
They hadn't talked about it when they'd been younger. As Elias went about his Sunday-night rituals, he had to admit that they'd avoided talking about claims because of their own hang-ups. Elias hadn't pushed because he'd always figured it would be the alpha who brought it up, and because he knew that Pat was sensitive about the Salazar family's issues with him.
Pat had his own issues, and Elias knew that he'd blown them off back then. Pat had downplayed a lot of them, like the issues with his own family, but Elias had been fully aware of his discomfort with the class disparities between them. Pat had some old-fashioned notions about being able to support an omega and kids before he claimed anyone, even though he knew damn well that Elias didn't need Pat to support him.
Maybe Elias had some issues on that score too, come to think of it.
So, what did Elias want now?
They had the option of going their separate ways after the case was over. They'd reconnected, and it looked like they'd healed some old wounds. Elias' old wounds were healing anyway. They could part on good terms and not have to risk the peace between them.
Elias could ask Pat to claim him, like he said he would have all those years ago. He could make him put his money where his mouth was, and they could continue with the life that they should have had. The life that they would have had, if Elias' frustration hadn't gotten the better of him.
Of course, who knew what Pat wanted? Maybe he didn't want a claim. If he hadn't claimed an omega in all this time, with everything he had to offer, then maybe he liked being a bachelor.
The third option was to leave things the way they were. They could just be together, without a claim. They could keep learning each other again. They could see where the spirit took them. They were both adults. There weren't going to be any children to consider. They were truly free to live as they wanted, without any other considerations.
Option three was probably the best. Elias changed the sheets and went to sleep on a mattress that still smelled like Pat, a little smile on his face. The lack of pressure left him, left them, free in a way that most couples couldn't be. He could be grateful for that now, all these years later, even if he wished it could be any other way.
In the morning, he made the long drive in to Framingham. Pat and Ryan were already there. Pat looked like he'd been there for a while, at least; his shirt was rumpled and his tie was already askew. "What's going on?"
"Boy genius there has been here since five this morning." Ryan gestured at Pat, who had the decency to blush. "He told me that he had an epiphany in the shower."
Elias raised an eyebrow at his lover.
Pat shrugged. "We weren't supposed to be talking about work," he muttered. "Anyway, I couldn't sleep. So, I figured that we could save a lot of time and a lot of manpower if we took some historical maps of the Westfield and Southwick areas and superimposed them over a modern map. It should give us a good view of where some suitable abandoned farmland might be."
Elias' jaw dropped. "That's genius."
Ryan beamed. "That's why h
e's here. All the guys over there are smart, you know? But Tessaro's the only one who would have come up with that one." So far he's come up with coordinates for five places that Nixon could be using."
Elias put a hand on Pat's back. "I'm so proud of you. I'm going to make sure that gets used on any investigation I'm on going forward, or at least any investigation with similar circumstances, and I'm going to make sure that they know who came up with it too."
Elias half expected Pat to pull away from his touch, or at least to stiffen up. They hadn't talked about being open about their relationship. They hadn't talked about defining their relationship. But Pat just leaned into Elias' touch. "It's a start," he said after a second. "It's not a perfect solution. We still have to find them and everything. There's a lot of territory in all of that space."
Ryan joined them. "Yeah, there is. But I'd rather spend the time here, looking at maps and realizing that the old Cochran farm is now a grocery store than heading out there and stomping around in the rain and mud."
