by Aiden Bates
Mrs. Adams paled. "What do you mean?"
Ryan stepped forward and put a hand on Mrs. Adams' shoulder. "Mrs. Adams, the woman you encountered is pretty disturbed. She abducts children who she imagines are being abused, for whatever reason, and raises them as her own. One of those children died of diphtheria, and it's a safe bet that the others have it too. Those tissues would have been contaminated."
"There's no way that you could have known," Elias added. "She doesn't usually show her face in Hampden County, so she must be getting desperate if she's in a local big box store. What was in her cart?"
Mrs. Adams closed her eyes for a moment. "She had a basket. In the basket, she had a few things of aspirin, and of ibuprofen. I guess that makes sense, if someone in her family is sick. Was she… was she going to steal Noah?"
"It's possible, but not likely." Pat gave the terrified woman a reassuring smile. "She's never taken a child this close to her home turf. We're working hard to try to find those kids and get them home and healthy. Obviously, it's vitally important to us that we contain this outbreak. We can't have more kids getting sick."
Dr. Rees cleared his throat. "Can I ask why Noah wasn't vaccinated?"
Mrs. Adams hung her head. "He had an allergic reaction to the first dose he got, when he was a newborn." She picked up her son's hand again. "The pediatrician said that he couldn't get the vaccine because of it, but it was okay because of 'herd immunity.'" She snorted and turned away, as if her son could see the way her face twisted. "See how well that worked out for him."
Dr. Rees grimaced. "Ordinarily, it would." He turned Pat and his companions. "How did they even come into contact with diphtheria, anyway? I can't imagine that someone who's kidnapped a bunch of children is letting them go to school."
"That's something we'll have to ask when we find them." Elias shook his head. "The thing to remember here is that in Ms. Nixon's head, she thinks she's saving these kids from something worse. I've seen her file. I can understand why she thinks that way. She's wrong, of course. She needs to be brought in, but we're going to do everything that we can to act in the best interests of the children here."
Pat turned back to Mrs. Adams. "Is there anything else that you can think of about this woman that you think might help? It could be something small, something that barely stood out to you."
Mrs. Adams tapped her finger against her jawline. "Well, she didn't talk that I could see. Her clothes were kind of dirty, like she'd been out in the garden or something. And she was clearing her throat a lot."
Dr. Rees straightened up, as though someone had shot a jolt of electricity right through him. "She's infected."
Ryan turned to him. "Are you sure?"
Dr. Rees rolled his eyes. "I can't make a diagnosis without seeing the patient, but she's around sick kids, and she's handling contaminated objects, and she's showing symptoms. That's a pretty good sign." He folded his arms across his chest. "How's your immunization status, boys?"
"I just got a booster last year." Pat turned back to the others. "If this poor woman is infected, we need to get moving."
"Yeah, we do." Ryan shook Mrs. Adams' hand. "Thanks for your help, Mrs. Adams. Please let us know if there's anything we can do for you, and we hope that little Noah gets better soon."
"They've got great doctors here," Elias told her. "And if they have to, they'll evacuate to Mass. General. I'm very confident."
Pat left a card with her and with Dr. Rees, and they shed their gowns and gloves before leaving.
"I'm going to lean on that judge," Ryan said as Pat pulled back onto the Pike. "He's got to understand that this is a matter of life and death now. If we get the warrants over the weekend…"
"I know. I'll be there." Pat nodded. He'd miss the chance to spend time with Elias, but preventing an outbreak was more important. They couldn't afford to waste any time.
Chapter Ten
Elias settled in at Pat's place once he found a place to park. It wasn't hard, thanks to the visitor parking pass Pat gave him. They walked up to Centre Street and wandered, hand in hand, until they found something that looked good. It felt so natural to be able to walk together like this. It felt so right.
The warrants didn't come through over the weekend. On the one hand, that meant that Elias and Pat had the time to spend together. On the other hand, it meant that there was more time for kids to get sicker, which made both men anxious. Neither of them wanted another little body on their hands, especially not if they knew that they could have done something about it, but the judge wasn't interested in budging.
After dinner on Friday, they spent some time just basking in one another's presence. Elias had always mocked that kind of terminology, when he'd heard it from other people, but that was just because he'd been separated from Pat. When they'd been together the first time, Elias hadn't taken the time to appreciate the effect. Now he planned to wallow in it every chance he got.
"What's on your mind?" Pat asked him, as they lay together in Pat's big, nondescript bed.
Elias curled up tighter into Pat's side. They hadn't been doing anything particularly sexual, just enjoying the feel of one another's skin, and that was enough right now. "I don't know. How much I like this, I guess." He tilted his head up. "It's weird, how happy this makes me."
"Me too," Pat told him, in a soft voice. "It's a change, that's for sure. But it's a good change." He shifted a little.
"What?"
"I don't know." Pat ducked his head. "I don't want to ruin a nice, warm night like this with talk of whatever's down the pipeline, you know?"
"Mmm." Elias held on a little tighter. "There's a lot to be said for that. Although I have to wonder if maybe that's not what went wrong for us the last time."
Pat huffed out a little laugh. "Yeah, maybe. I know that there were plenty of nights when I thought, 'I should say something, but it's warm and it's comfortable and I don't want to fight right now.'" He sighed and kissed the top of Elias' head.
Elias tensed up. Then he forced himself to relax. "Is that how you're feeling right now?"
Pat went quiet for several long, soul-scorching minutes. "I have no idea how I'm feeling right now. I guess that the best way to describe it would be 'scared.'" He sighed. "Did you actually want to go to see your family tomorrow? Because I mean if that's something you wanted, I shouldn't stop you. They're your family."
Elias nibbled playfully on Pat's collarbone. "So, the part where I was ready to beg to sleep on your nasty garbage-picked couch went right over your head?"
"Hey, I don't want to pressure you or anything." Pat squeezed him tighter and chuckled. "I just worry. This is all really kind of unexpected, and I'm a little confused about what to do here."
"Well, the right thing to do would never be to send me off to my family." Elias traced a finger along the sharp lines of Pat's muscles. "They like to sit around and parade their achievements. One's a senior VP at the bank by now, two of them are working for my dad, my brother-in-law is a hotshot lawyer. And then there's me."
"How many lives have any of them saved?" Pat wrapped his other arm around him. "There aren't any of them that have an achievement that's greater than that, okay? Just because none of them have ever learned how to measure achievement on any scale besides money or prestige doesn't mean your achievement isn't a thousand times bigger than theirs."
Elias buried his face in Pat's chest. "You're so quick to stand up for me. You always were."
"Hmm. Someone needs to." Pat closed his eyes. "I guess that I'm just not ready for it all to go south yet."
Elias raised himself up on his elbows. "You think it's all going to go south?"
Pat sighed and opened his eyes again. "Don't you?" He gave half a smile. "I mean come on, Elias. I'm not exactly a catch." He stroked Elias' cheek. "I'm happy to enjoy this while it lasts, but you deserve so much more." He looked away. "I want to give you everything, but I honestly don't know how much I have to offer. At least when we were younger, it was like… I don't know. I don't k
now what I was thinking back then. But my job's not going to change much. I'm never going to be an asset, or someone you could show off.
"And I mean I'm a little screwed up. I know that, now. I mean there's a reason I've had to do everything for myself, and it's not just because I'm a stubborn asshole." He pursed his lips. "I mean I am a stubborn asshole, but it's hard for me to let go and trust."
"And by hard you mean impossible." Elias' mouth went completely dry. "I get that. I don't necessarily have the context for that, but I get that. I can accept that about you. It was hard for me to accept, when we were younger. There was a lot that I didn't understand. I think I'm getting a better grasp now. I'm not sure." He splayed his hand out on Pat's chest. "But I do love what I see. And—I'm not pushing or pressuring, but the last time I wasn't clear. And that was a problem between us, because we both went on thinking that the other one didn't want to make it permanent when I know we both did." Maybe it wasn't time to say this yet, but then again they'd screwed things up before by holding back.
Pat's pupils constricted, to the point where they were barely visible. His breath got shallow. "Elias, I don't know if you know what you're saying."
Elias flicked his nipple, but gently. "Don't tell me I'm smart if you don't think that I understand what I'm saying. You've told me you'd have claimed me, back then."
"Well, yeah, but you—" He covered his mouth. "You wanted it."
Elias nodded. "I did." He eased himself down, so he was just supporting his head with his hand.
"What about your family?" Pat slid up, so that he was mirroring Elias' pose. "They'd have skinned me alive."
"Maybe." Elias sighed and looked away. He couldn't handle his lover's direct gaze.
"I couldn't have done it then. I mean I know that you could have afforded to support us both even if we never worked a day in our lives, but I couldn't… that wasn't the point. I didn't have enough to support you, and any kids we might have had, at that time. I had to be able to support you, if it came down to it. I had to…" Pat rolled back onto his back and stared at the ceiling. "It's hard to explain this. I've never tried to put it into words before."
"Really?" Elias tried not to let hope grow in his chest. Was a claim even something that he still wanted?
The answer was yes. Of course he still wanted it. He didn't want a claim by anyone else, but he wanted Pat's mark just as much now as he ever had. Admitting it meant that he could put a name to it, and acknowledge that yearning deep within himself.
"Who was I going to talk to about it? Nenci?" Pat snorted. "It's like… you know, I've always taken care of myself, because I had to. Any time that I thought, 'Oh, okay, things might be settling down, it's okay to relax and maybe let someone else step in and help out,' I got burned. You know, like when my mom got deported. Or when my dad started drinking more and more. Or when they tried to kick me out of high school. I couldn't rely on anyone else to save me.
"So, yeah. There was your money, that you had then, and there was the money that your family had, but I couldn't let myself count on that. It didn't seem secure to me. I couldn't claim you, I couldn't even talk to you about a claim, until I could support you even if your family found some way of taking every asset you owned. I couldn't claim you until I could make sure that I could keep a roof over your head and food in your belly. Maybe I wouldn't have to, and that would be great, but if that time ever came I was going to be ready and no Rhode Island insurance guy was going to be able to take that away from us."
Elias choked on a sob. "Oh, Pat." He leaned over and kissed his alpha. The idea was so perfectly Pat—such a mix of archaic notions and modern, lone-wolf determination—that it made Elias' chest hurt. "Pat, that's so… you."
"Kind of dumb, I guess." Pat wouldn't meet his eyes.
"No. I mean I wish you'd have talked to me about it, but I could have talked to you about what I wanted. And then we could have talked about the whole thing, and maybe we could have gotten somewhere." He pillowed his head on Pat's chest again. "Not wasted the past ten years, anyway."
"Hey, they weren't a waste. You've saved a lot of people." Pat stroked Elias' hair.
"They were a waste because I could have been saving those kids and coming home to an amazing, strong, and wonderful alpha at night." Elias tightened his grip. "I don't want to come on too strong here, Pat, but the past few weeks, even when we were kind of tense with each other, just having you in my life again has made me feel more complete than I have in years."
Pat took a deep breath. "I feel the same way. But it scares me. I don't know if I can be what you need or what you deserve. You thought I was bad at letting you in before? I mean I don't think that one of the guys on the force even knows that I'm an immigrant!"
Elias kissed him. "You could try talking to them. But that's beside the point. I know that you can be what I need, because you already are." He caressed Pat's face again. You're everything that I need, just as you are, and I don't need anything else. I love you, Pat."
Elias sat up and looked down at his alpha. "I wonder if maybe when we were younger, it wasn't different. I mean I loved you—I adored you. But I think that there might have been some kind of idealization going on, some kind of romanticizing the future. Maybe for both of us, I don't know. But I think that now that we're older, we're able to appreciate each other as men a little bit more.
"I can appreciate you, and your needs, and what you've gone through to try to keep them from being other people's needs. I might not always agree with that, but I love that independence in you. And you can appreciate that I want you, and not some weird Pat-doll with someone else's personality crammed in. Maybe you can let me help you sometimes, and maybe I can relax and try not to control so much."
Pat stared into his eyes. "Are you saying that you want to try a claim… now?"
Elias turned away. "It's okay if you don't."
Strong hands wrapped around his shoulders. "Let's sleep on it. If it's what you want in the morning, we can do it." Pat pulled Elias back against his chest. "I love you, Elias. I don't want to lose you. I'm scared of letting you down, but if it's what you want and you're absolutely positive we'll do it."
Elias relaxed into his alpha's embrace. "Are you sure? Why wait?"
Pat kissed the side of his head and turned out the light. "Because, love. It's a permanent decision. It's not something that we should do rashly. We should at least sleep on it."
"We've been sleeping on it for ten years," Elias grumbled, but he molded himself to his alpha and let Pat's ginger scent lull him to sleep anyway.
The next morning, they woke up to rain and to crossly worded texts from Ryan about judges who didn't seem to think that diphtheria was a serious concern. Pat growled at his phone and threw it into the nightstand, but the damage was done. After a futile attempt to get back to sleep, both lovers got out of bed and shuffled into the kitchen. Pat made coffee while Elias showered, and then Elias handled breakfast while Pat cleaned up. Pat's bathroom wasn't big enough for two.
Once they'd performed their ablutions, they sat at the breakfast bar for a long moment in silence. "I still want you," Elias said finally, after his second cup of coffee. He wasn't quite sure how he got the words out, what with his heart beating wildly in his throat, but they sounded strong and confident. "I've slept on it. I haven't changed my mind."
Pat nodded slowly. "Your parents will blow up half of Rhode Island."
"I thought that would make you happy."
"I wasn't listing that as an argument against." Pat held up his hands. "We're going to have to figure out a housing solution. I don't want to live apart from you, and I can't live out of state."
Elias opened his mouth to argue before he realized what he was hearing. "You're willing?"
Pat huffed out a little laugh. His gray eyes twinkled in the light. "Yeah. I'm willing. I'm more than willing. There will be a few hurdles, but they're just logistical headaches. We can tackle those when the case winds down." His mouth fell, grew more serious. "We ca
n't do the usual claim period thing, not yet. As soon as the case is over I can put in for leave, and they'll have to give it to me, but I can't ask for leave in the middle of a case when there are kids' lives at stake."
"I wouldn't ask you to. Do you want to go somewhere? Or do you just want to hole up in one of our houses?" Elias would have booked the entire state of Hawaii right now, if Pat just said the word.
"Let's play it by ear," he said. "Honestly, I think anywhere would be home if I was with you." He cleared his throat. "Um, we're going to have to warn Ryan, though."
"Otherwise, he'll interrupt us." Elias cheeks burned at the thought. "Go ahead."
They walked into the bedroom, and Pat pulled his phone and a bottle of lube out of the nightstand. His hands only shook a little as he sent out a quick text message, and then he turned his phone off. "Are you sure you want this? Because this is probably our last chance to change our minds."
