by Kimber Chin
Guilt slammed into Nik as her face crumpled. "It'll start all over again." She laid her forehead against his, her trembling fingertips skimming over his face. "So many people died today and nothing was accomplished."
"Not nothing." He refused to think that. Ivan's death wasn't a waste.
"Yes, nothing. We didn't stop death. It's still out there and it'll come for me, for the people I care about. It always does." Her breathing was ragged. "You have to let me go, Nikky. You can't fight this war again and again, losing loved ones each time. It isn't fair to you, to the family."
Did she not understand? "You are my family, Brat. I'm not letting you go." Ever. "When Pavel locates the source, we'll confront him." Nik would kill the bastard himself. "And we end this."
"You really think we can end it?" She raised her head, hope lighting her eyes.
"I know we can." The professional had been tracking Tatyana for years. He must have fucked up at least once.
"We have a plan."
"We have a plan." She relaxed in his arms. "We locate the source."
"Pavel locates the source," Nik corrected. She wouldn't be involved.
"We'll confront him," the brat continued as though she didn't hear him.
"I'll confront him." With his men at his side and her safe at the casino. Today, he almost lost her. Nik wouldn't put her at risk again.
"Then, you'll take me to the Crown Hotel."
"No Crown Hotel." Again with her leaving him. "You love me." She said she did. Yes, she loved him. She must. "You're not going anywhere." Nik covered her parting lips with his.
She wasn't going anywhere. Tatyana curled up in Nikky's lap as the car turned into the casino. She said she wouldn't leave unless he no longer wanted her. She wiggled against his arousal. Nikky still wanted her.
And she wanted him. She wanted this. She felt safe, loved. But, those feelings were an illusion. She was neither safe, the killer's client not located; nor loved, Nikky her temporary fiance, but it was more than she'd had for years, so she took it.
The car stopped and Yuri, Grandfather's henchman, opened the door. Relief flashed over his normally taciturn face so quickly Tatyana almost missed it. "Sergei wants to see you." Yuri took Tatyana's hand, helping her out of the limo. "Both of you."
Nikky radiated irritation. "He'll have to wait."
"Nikolay," Yuri warned.
"Is that wise, Nikky?" Tatyana laid a comforting hand on his arm. Although he'd never admit to it, his grandfather would be worried. He'd want to see for himself that Nikky was well.
"It is necessary, Tatyana." Nikky's handsome face sagged. He must be exhausted. Neither of them had slept well the night before. "We lost six men today." A sharp intake of breath from Yuri. "Their families should hear it from me before anyone else says anything."
She hated death. Hated it. "Give me a couple minutes to change." She didn't want to visit grieving widows wearing a dead woman's maternity top.
"You don't need to..." He rolled his shoulders back. Tatyana heard a crack.
"I do." She rubbed his sleeve. "I'm your fiancee. I'll be by your side." She loved him. She wouldn't make him do this alone.
He gazed at her for a couple seconds, focused and intense. "Tatyana, it'll beȄ"
"I know." She hugged him. It weighed heavily on her that she had never done this, the right thing, look directly into a person's eyes and tell them they'd never see their loved one again, knowing all the while she was responsible. Today, she would, because once again, she was responsible. Nikky's men died because of her.
"And you'd do it?" He folded her into him.
"Of course." For him, she'd do anything.
"Nikolay," Yuri tried again.
"Tatyana and I have to take care of our family." Our family. She liked how that sounded.
"We'll see Grandfather after we're done. He'll understand."
The two women hugged fiercely, tears streaming down their cheeks, off their chins.
Tatyana cried as heartily with this sixth woman, Duscha, Ivan's widow, as she had with the others. Her grief seemed endless.
Nik blinked and tried to control his emotions. Pavel and Boris had already left the cozy living room, unable to keep their sorrow in check. Loved ones needed the assurance of strength, Grandfather always said, so they could grieve but not worry. It was the toughest part of the job.
Today, it was a little less tough because Tatyana was here. After he relayed the news in his deliberately short, curt sentences, she took over. She knew the right things to say.
All he had to do was hold it together. Nik stared up at the ceiling. He could do that.
"I worried, you know. From the first." Duscha sobbed, petting back Tatyana's frizzy hair.
The grieving women liked to do that, Nik noticed, treating her as a plaything to be cosseted, his normally prickly fiancee allowing them. "But Ivan was so proud of what he did. I had to let him do it. I couldn't change him. It was a part of him, of who he is...was."
"He was a hero." A wet smile from Tatyana. "He kept people safe. He saved lives." She gave the widow the much needed confirmation that Ivan had made a difference, that he'd be remembered.
"He was." A nod. "I only wishȄ"
"I know." Tatyana reached out to her as she broke down again. "I know." They wept in each other's arms. Nik counted rotations of the ceiling fan blades.
"You do know, don't you?" Duscha wiped her eyes with a soggy tissue. "Ivan told me you'd known sadness."
All the women mentioned that also, her experience with death linking them together. "I lost my parents, my family, everyone I cared for. If not for Nikky, for you," her hands held Duscha's, "for the family, I'd have no one."
Was that true? Nik thought of Igroek.
"You are no longer alone. You'll never be alone." Duscha played with Tatyana's hair. "The family will take care of you."
"Of us," Tatyana assured her. "You have our word." Nik had explained to Tatyana that Duscha would want for nothing financially. The Kaerta's took care of their own.
"Ivan's gift to me." A sniffle. "His last gift." Another hug, more tears. Nik stared upward.
There were cracks in the ceiling. He would send someone to fix that for Duscha.
It was an hour more before they exited. Nikky was restless, Tatyana saw him tap his feet on the oriental carpet, but he didn't rush them, giving Ivan's wifeȄno, Ivan's widowȄas much time as she needed.
Six families in one day. Tatyana never wanted to do that again.
"Thank you." Nikky drew her onto his lap. Pavel sat across from them, the big man's eyes suspiciously red.
"They lost their lives because of me." She laid her head on his shoulder. She should cry, but she couldn't. She was all cried out.
"It was part of the job, Brat. They accepted that risk when they took it." He stroked her hair.
He said that but he felt their loss as much as she did. Part of the job, her ass. She glared up at him. "Is it part of your job, Nikky?"
"Tatyana..."
That was a yes. "I can't be Duscha, Nikky. I can't sit silently at home, waiting for someone dressed in black to visit. I can't." It would drive her crazy.
"You? Sit silently?" His lips twitched.
"You better take me seriously." She waved her fist at him. She was so upset, she really would punch him in the nose this time.
Nikky sighed. "I can't make you any promises, Brat." He snuggled her closer to him. He was so warm and comforting.
"But some people say I'm like my grandfather." Some people? He was like his grandfather.
Both were stubborn asses. "If they're right, you won't have to worry about anything.
Grandfather is going to live forever."
No one lived forever. Tatyana didn't say that, only kissing his forehead. He didn't need to think about his grandfather's mortality now.
Less than an hour later, Tatyana contemplated ways of shortening the grandfather's mortality. "No." She stood in front of him, her hands on her hips. "I don't know who
this Igroek person is, but I'm staying with Nikky." Nikky's grandfather insisted they move to separate rooms, his guest of honor arriving tomorrow night.
A fist pounded the table. "I will not embarrass Igroek with your behavior."
"How would he know?" She leaned forward. "And why would he care?"
"He'll know." She didn't like the glance Nikky and his grandfather exchanged. Like they knew something she didn't. "And he'll care. I won't have him thinking my granddaughter is a whore."
"Do not insult my fiancee." Nikky's voice was deadly low.
"Then control her." His grandfather flung his hands in the air. "This has to be done."
"Control her?" Tatyana bristled. As though she was a child.
Nik put an arm around his tempestuous woman, holding her back. "Like you controlled grandmother?" It was an impossible task. "If someone had tried to force you and grandmother to sleep in separate rooms, would you have allowed them?" No matter how fiercely they fought, his grandparents shared a room up until the day grandmother died.
"Don't talk about your grandmother. This is different, Nikolay. You know that."
"I know nothing." He was told nothing. Only what to do. Like a damn dog. "She's my fiancee.
She stays with me." That was the right answer for him, for Tatyana. The hell with everyone else.
"You will sleep in separate rooms." Nik had never seen Grandfather so furious. "I'm not asking as your grandfather."
Grandfather was asking as his boss, as the head of the family. To refuse that request was to risk demotion, but this gamble was worth it. He wasn't letting her go. "I know. My answer is the same."
"Leave us, Granddaughter."
"I'm staying with Nikky." She was fearless, his woman.
"Nikolay."
If Grandfather advised to control her again, Nik suspected the brat would draw blood. He had to separate the two until emotions settled down.
"Tatyana, I need to speak to Grandfather. Could you wait in our..." He stared at the old man.
"... room?"
"I don't know." Doubt was written all over her expressive face. "You're not going to back down, are you?"
"It's been a long day, Brat." He didn't have the energy to fight both of them. "Do this for me."
He squeezed her waist. "Please."
"For you only." She turned to face Grandfather. "I'll wait in our room." Point made, she flounced off, slamming the door behind her.
"Damn, she's stubborn." There was admiration in Grandfather's voice.
"So am I." He wasn't backing down.
"You love her." Nik didn't reply. It was a statement, not a question. "If she is who I think she is, Igroek will be pissed."
Nik widened his stance, folded his arms. "She's mine, Grandfather. Igroek hasn't protected her. I have. I will continue to protect her and I can best do that with her sleeping in the same room."
"It's not the sleeping part I have issues with," Grandfather said under his breath. He lit a cigar, puffing on it. "He'll be even more pissed if you flaunt your relationship."
"I don't care." He wouldn't suck up to Igroek.
"You should care. Igroek can be a hardass. If he thinks you've disrespected her, disrespected him; he'll take Tatyana back with him immediately. You won't get the chance to plead your case."
And Igroek could then block any attempts made to contact her. Shit. Nik ran a hand through his hair. "We'll be careful."
"Throwing your physical relationship in his face is not careful. Igroek will be overly sensitive. This is his only grandchild you're involved with, his long lost grandchild."
That was true. Damn it. Nik didn't want to do this and he really didn't want to do this without letting the brat know why. "If I explained that to Tatyana, who Igroek isȄ"
"And if she isn't who we think she is?" A raised eyebrow. "If he rejects her? What will that do to her?" It'd tear her apart, causing her more pain. "No, best to keep it quiet."
"This won't be quiet." Tatyana wouldn't take his decision well.
Grandfather chuckled.
Tatyana didn't take his decision well. At all. "You spineless ass." A shoe flew across the room, the heel sticking into the drywall. "I knew I shouldn't have left you alone." That baby powder-scented deodorant she wore followed. At this rate, she wouldn't have anything left to move. "You would never choose me over your grandfather, over your precious position in the family, never."
Damn, she was glorious when she was pissed off. "This is temporary, Brat."
"That's right, isn't it? I'm temporary." Were those tears in her eyes? Nik's stomach twisted.
"Your temporary fiancee and now that this big..." Her head wobbled. "... guest is coming, you're hiding me."
"Hiding you?" As if that was possible. "You're moving into our biggest suite, how is that hiding you?" He thought of the room she had and grinned at the possibilities. "We'll have a Jacuzzi tub, Brat."
"I'll have a Jacuzzi tub." She threw his electric razor at him. He caught it. "Me. Alone.
Though, maybe I'll share it with Boris. Since you don't care. I'm taking him with me, by the way. He's mine."
She would and he'd assign one more bodyguard to her. "I'm yours, Brat. I'm still your fiance." Nik watched her stuff clothes into the suitcase he'd provided her with. "We're just sleeping apart."
"We're sleeping far apart," she mumbled.
He frowned. "What is that supposed to mean?"
"I told you, Nikky." She glared at him. "I told you the only reason I'm staying. If you think I'm going to hang around while you fuck some other 'Sergei approved...'" She made quotation marks in the air with her fingers. "... woman, then you have another damn thing coming."
Make that two more bodyguards. "I'm not fucking any other women." She was more woman than a man could handle.
"Oh, yeah. You think so now, but what about next week? Why do you think this Igroek person is coming? A family friend. Like hell." Tatyana snorted. "He probably has a gorgeous daughter or something he wants you to marry."
She was too perceptive. Except it wasn't a daughter Nik wanted to marry, it was an overly emotional granddaughter. "Language, Brat, and Igroek's Grandfather's age."
"Granddaughter, then. And you'll say yes because you always say yes and then you'll marry and aaagggghhhh...!" She hurled her hairbrush at him.
He caught the brush, considered handing it back to her, but judging from her hair, she never used it anyway, so he kept it. "I'm not fucking anyone else. I'm not marrying anyone else."
"You think that, Nikky." She tried to lift her suitcase. It was too heavy. She swirled her index finger in the air. "But I remember how all this started. Your grandfather said I was your fiancee and the next day I was your fiancee. If it happened once..."
Even she thought he was a damn dog, blindly following Grandfather's commands. He stepped closer to her. "It happened once because I allowed it to happen, because the moment I saw you, those bloodstained pajamas clinging to your perky breasts I knew I had to have you."
"Don't try to sweet talk me, ass." She jerked her body out of reach.
He drew her back against him. "Why? Is it working?" He stroked.
Her glare could cut through walls but she didn't move away again. "I don't want to leave you, Nikky."
Leave? No, she meant move into another room. "I know, Brat." He kissed her. "But it is only for a short time."
Ten
"Gather the facts. Make a decision. Take Action."ȄSergei Kaerta Short time, long time, it made no difference. Tatyana wasn't staying. She stomped around her suite. Her breathtakingly gorgeous suite. She slammed the door, rattling the light fixture. Gorgeous rooms with no Nikky in them held no appeal.
Still, she flicked the lighter, wavering over the pile of paper and clothing in the bathtub. It was a shame to burn the place down. She had to. Because she wasn't sticking around while Nikky replaced her with some sophisticated New York floozy. She lit the pile, ensured it was properly started, then closed the bathroom door behind her. She pul
led on the knob, confirming that it had locked from the inside.
Tatyana hid in the front closet and waited. Her feet went numb from her unnatural pose, curled up in the cramped space. Finally, she smelled smoke. The fire alarms went off, shrill and annoying. The hallway door was forced open, the lock busted. She peeked between the crack in the closet doors. Boris was first, followed by the two bodyguards.
"She's in the bathroom," Boris called, his voice frantic with worry. Tatyana ignored her misgivings. This had to be done. The two other men rushed away from the entrance. The sprinklers activated, the water impeding visibility.
Tatyana slipped out the door, hurrying down the crowded hallway, weaving between dazed and confused guests. A young man held the stairwell door open. She smiled a thank you as she passed, following the train of people down the steps.
It was quite easy, she reflected sadly while exiting the casino, to disappear forever. Would he miss her? She inhaled the crisp desert air. Would he turn to the new woman his grandfather arranged for him looking for comfort? She opened the taxi door and...
Damn it. She flailed as she was grabbed. Not again. She kicked back. A cloth was placed over her mouth. She smelled fumes. Everything went dark.
"What do you mean, she's gone?" Nik roared, uncaring of the heads turning around the poker table.
"There was a fire, Boss." Boris shifted his feet.
Nik had heard about the fire. Everyone had heard about the fire. In a suite. "Her suite?"
Three dark heads bobbed. Boris swallowed "In the bathroom. It was intentionally set. We didn't know that at the time. We thought she was in there, but she wasn't. She was gone."
Shit. He got up, striding toward the restaurant where Grandfather was. Shit. Shit. Shit. "Who took her?"
An exchange of nervous glances. "Surveillance shows she left on her own free will, Boss."
"What?" He stopped. She wouldn't, she promised she'd stay...as long as he wanted her to.
"She was alone, Boss."
Shit. She didn't think he wanted her to stay. They had sex in the tub. What else did she need? Nik continued walking.
"She had three damn bodyguards assigned to her." She was one small woman. What kind of joke operation were they running? "Pavel?"
