Renegade Wife

by Charlene Sands

  Kane stroked her with his hand and suckled her with his mouth, the softness of his wet hair tickling her skin. Molly giggled between her soft moans, enjoying every single sensation Kane elicited from her.

  “Am I warming you?” Kane asked with smoky eyes.

  “I don’t think I can get much warmer,” she responded, hot all over.

  Kane smiled and kissed her once again. “Just wait, Little Bird.”

  Molly kissed him back and wove her hands in his hair gently, then moved down to touch his shoulders, spanning the wide expanse with her palms and marveling at his perfect body. She kissed his throat, his shoulders, moved down to kiss his chest once again, trailing her fingers down along a torso that narrowed down a dangerous path.

  Molly knew the exact moment when Kane’s body went rigid. She had yet to glance down past his waist, yet she’d known of his erection, having been pressed against him half the night. She had only imagined…

  She dared a quick peek, but one fast look was not enough. Molly stared at his manhood, the length and breadth of it, with wonder. “Oh, my,” she breathed.

  Kane’s well-guarded restraint seemed to vanish then. He cupped her face with both hands and kissed her hard on the mouth, driving his tongue inside in search of hers. They mated in open-mouthed frenzy and when the kiss ended, Kane looked deeply into her eyes. She found desire there, a hungry look that might have frightened her if she had not wanted the same.

  He took her hand and placed it on his manhood. “Touch me,” he said, repeating her words from before.

  Molly gripped him gently and Kane’s eyes closed, his face unmasked now. She moved her hand on the velvety silk, learning the texture, absorbing the feel of him.

  Kane lay back as Molly explored further, stroking and sliding her hand up and down. An expression of pleasure and peace stole over Kane momentarily, and Molly found comfort and joy knowing that she brought him this satisfaction.

  The rain had subsided now, only a drizzle remained, leaving a fresh scent in the air. They had survived the dangerous storm and would continue on to the Bar J in the morning, but tonight they were alone, on this prairie land, sharing their bodies and, for Molly, sharing her heart.

  Kane reached up to take her hand away, his face tight, and he rolled her over onto her back now. “It is your turn now,” he said, kissing her fully on the mouth.

  He cupped her breasts once again, weighing them in his hands, caressing and stroking her over and over, until her body moved rhythmically with each of his movements. Little moans of pleasure escaped and Molly’s heart pounded rapidly.

  Next Kane stroked her belly, his hand laying flat against her skin, almost fully covering her torso, teasing and tempting as his hand traveled lower and lower. Molly had never known such dire yearning, her body crying out for something she couldn’t quite fathom.

  Kane smiled down at her. “You’re a beautiful little bird,” he said, kissing her lips at the same time he found her woman’s mound. Molly jolted when he touched her there, the sensation so new, so startling.

  “Close your eyes, Molly,” he said. “Let me bring you pleasure.”

  Kane removed her drawers then cupped her, his fingers finding her most sensitive spot. He stroked her slowly, and Molly moved with him, crying out softly from this new and wonderful sensation. “Kane,” she called, never expecting an answer.

  All tension oozed out of her. She moved more freely now, her body undulating, absorbing, enjoying Kane’s ministrations. She glanced up into his eyes, to find his, hot and gleaming with desire. She felt herself lifting up, her muscles contracting, waiting, wanting.

  And then Kane rose above her. “I will not hurt you, Little Bird.”

  Molly knew he wouldn’t. And when he pressed into her, all she felt was a sharp painless burst. Elated and filled with joy, Molly looked up at Kane, his powerful body now joined with hers and her heart nearly exploded with love.

  Molly had tried not to fall in love. She’d tried not to surrender her feelings. But Kane was a man to admire, a man who would forever be in her heart. She only hoped that he would come to have the same feelings for her one day.

  Tonight she would give him the gift of her body while he took her heart. Tonight, she would not think of the future, but live in the present. Tonight she would love Kane with everything she had inside.

  Kane slept well. It had been years since he’d known such peace. Ever since he’d avenged Little Swan’s death, Kane had slept with unease, bad dreams troubling him throughout the night. He’d not had undisturbed sleep for a long time, but in the dawn of a new day, Kane knew a sense of peace reminiscent of the serenity he’d experienced in the arms of his first wife.

  But when Kane opened his eyes, it was not Little Swan in his arms, but Molly McGuire Jackson, the woman he’d married temporarily. She slept like the dead, her breaths slow and calm. He’d held her through the night, keeping her warm, but what Kane couldn’t abide was his lack of restraint when he recalled the way the night had ended.

  He’d made love to his virgin wife.

  Kane cursed silently at his stupidity. Molly had made it clear what she’d wanted, but Kane should have held back and not have succumbed to her charms. He should have resisted the fire in his groin and urgent need he had had to possess her. Kane had touched her. He’d taken her virginity last night. By all rights, both in the Cheyenne and white world, Molly belonged to him now.

  He shuddered at the thought and chastised himself for giving in to his desire. Molly could never truly belong to him. Yet as she lay with him, her hair a blazing sunset of red and gold spread out along his arms, her body warm and creamy soft, Kane had little regret about making love to her. For in truth, Kane had never experienced anything more satisfying than to have Molly come alive, then apart in his arms.

  Kane’s body reacted just recalling the night of passion they shared, Molly’s instinctive responses spurring his desire even more. Kane closed his eyes once again, allowing himself this one moment to recapture the night in his mind because he knew that he could never make love to Molly again. Not fully, not unguarded. He also knew that once back at the Bar J, he’d be hard-pressed to sleep in her bed and not want her. But Kane would not make the sort of love to her that would bring about a child.

  He couldn’t. He wouldn’t. Kane knew in his heart that he would let Molly go once they’d both met the terms of their bargain. He’d already broken one vow last night. He’d not break another.

  With that thought, Kane left the comfort of Molly’s soft body, rolling away from her, leaving their little safe haven to meet with the cool unforgiving morning. Naked, his first order of business was to retrieve their clothes, hoping that the small chest he’d stashed under the wagon seat faired well through the storm. He pulled it out and though the chest was soaked, when he reached inside he found the clothes dry enough to wear.

  Kane dressed in trousers and a shirt and found something appropriate for Molly to wear. He set her clothes under the wagon where she slept, then went about checking on the horses.

  Soon, Molly would awaken and if the roads were ready to travel, they would arrive back at the Bar J by late afternoon.

  Molly dressed quickly, eager to see Kane this morning. She had much to say to him, so much… And her heart soared just thinking of the night they’d shared. Molly had never known such ecstasy existed. She had never known such fulfillment. Last night, Kane had heated her body to boiling over. He’d taught her lessons of love. He’d kissed her senseless, caressed her tenderly, and when their bodies joined they climbed together to a glorious peak. She had only to gaze into Kane’s half-lidded eyes to see that he had known great pleasure, too, as they came apart in each other’s arms. The thought warmed her almost as much as Kane’s steamy body next to hers. And afterward, Molly had fallen into a deep dreamless sleep.

  Molly fitted her boots on, straightened her dress, smoothed back her hair and came out from under the wagon. She stood upright for the first time since the storm, stretching o
ut with arms overhead. She ignored the stiffness in her limbs and the tenderness she experienced from making love with Kane, too happy to dwell on small things. She searched the area, looking for him.

  She found him adding wood to a small fire he’d built a short distance away. Quickly, with eager anticipation and love filling her heart, she walked over to him. “Good morning,” she said, cheerful as a morning jay.

  She wrapped her arms around his neck and reached up on tiptoes to plant a kiss to his lips. Bold, yes, but after what they’d shared last night, Molly figured she had a right to kiss her husband good morning.

  His body rigid, his eyes unreadable, Kane didn’t kiss her back. In fact, his mood matched the gloomy gray clouds overhead. “Molly.” He acknowledged her then removed her arms from about his neck. Then he glanced at her briefly, his gaze making a quick sweep of her body. “You okay this morning?”

  Hot blood rushed to her face and she covered her blush with a big smile. “Just fine. You?”

  Kane nodded, looking off in the distance. “Fine. We’ll make the Bar J before the sun sets.”

  “We’re going home,” Molly stated and realized that she welcomed the thought. She would have to find other ways to locate Charlie, but the thought of the ranch house, with Bennett waiting, and a nice warm bed to sleep in every night with Kane, suddenly held great appeal. “I’m glad.”

  “Glad?” Kane looked at her now, his face a puzzle.

  Molly nodded. “Seems like we’ve been away from the Bar J a long time. I’ve been praying for your grandfather’s health every night. I’m hoping he’s better.”

  Molly watched as Kane bent to set a coffeepot over the hot embers. “He’s been on my mind,” Kane admitted.

  “Is that all that’s been on your mind?” Molly asked, perplexed by his mood. Just hours ago, he’d made her feel special and wanted and loved. Just hours ago, Molly had felt like a wife, in the real sense. And she knew that Kane, too, had felt something strong between them.

  Kane stood and inhaled sharply. “Hell, Molly, what do you want me to say exactly?”

  Molly didn’t hesitate. Kane had asked and she would surely answer. “Well, for one, you haven’t mentioned our coupling from last night.”

  Kane squeezed his eyes shut. “Our coupling?”

  “Well, yes.” Molly folded her arms over her middle. “Last night, when we stripped off our wet clothes and got cozy under the wagon. You haven’t mentioned that yet this morning.”

  “Hell, I asked how you were feeling.”

  “I’m feeling fine, gloriously fine, wonderfully fine, splendidly fine and thank you for asking.”

  “Damn it, Molly. Last night was unfortunate. We needed to stay warm….”

  “You made me hot, Kane.”

  Kane winced and rubbed the back of his neck. “I took your innocence.”

  Molly reached out to touch his sleeve. “I gave it to you,” she said softly. “It’s okay, Kane.”

  He began shaking his head, moving away from her, repeating, “It’s not okay. It’s not okay. Damn it, Molly. Do you realize that we might have created a child last night? A child,” he emphasized by raising his voice. “I can’t abide that.”

  A child? A child. Molly hadn’t given that any thought last night. She hadn’t even considered the possibility, yet the thought settled smoothly, lending her a measure of sweet peace. Nothing would make Molly happier than to have Kane’s baby. How often she’d thought about the time when she would conceive a child. Back in St. Louis, Molly had daydreamed of having a family of her own. A husband to love and a child to cherish. She’d worked out in her mind all the vivid details of the kind of life she’d wanted. That, even through bad times, the family would flourish, sustained by surrounding love and devotion.

  Her mama had wanted that, too, but her mama had been sorely disappointed by a man who would abandon his young family. Mama had had a hard life. She’d had to work two jobs to support her young children. Often Molly witnessed her mama selling off the family wares and small pieces of furniture. Once Molly was old enough, she too began working—taking in mending after school, helping her mother wherever possible.

  Molly’s mother had tried her best and loved with all of her heart, but she’d never known true joy. Not the kind that Molly wished for. Not the kind that Molly vowed to have one day.

  But gazing into Kane’s stormy gray eyes, Molly saw obvious distress brewing there. She noted his concern. How could she not? And all of her joy evaporated. Just like that. In the blink of an eye. In the smallest of moments, she realized that nothing had changed for Kane last night.

  He hadn’t been swept away as she had. He hadn’t succumbed to a heart filled with love, but rather a body filled with lust. She’d given herself fully, and Kane had taken only what he’d needed.

  Molly closed her eyes, placing a hand to her belly. “Don’t worry, Kane. If I’m anything like my mama, I won’t be carrying your child today. It took years for mama to have me. She said it seems to run in the family.”

  The storm in Kane’s eyes subsided a bit. His rigid stance relaxed as he stared at her. He nodded, and the relief she witnessed on his face destroyed all hope of a real marriage with Kane. He didn’t want her. He didn’t want her child. Again, she had to remind herself of the bargain they’d struck.

  She was a temporary wife—a bride without a groom.

  The ache went deep this time, cutting into her spirit, hollowing out her heart. There was no use for tears. Molly cried silently inside.

  Kane moved quickly about the camp. Wordless, Molly took the cup of coffee he offered. And when he pulled a rawhide case Molly had once heard him refer to as a parfleche from his saddlebag, he handed it to her. “Try it. It’s all we have for breakfast,” he said.

  “What is it?”

  “Pemmican.”

  Her stomach grumbling, she realized that they hadn’t eaten an evening meal last night. She’d been too frightened by the storm to worry about eating. And after, she’d been captivated by Kane, fed only by his sweet words and tender caresses.

  Molly looked at Kane, then reached into the bag, coming up with a mixture that didn’t appear appetizing at all. She brought it to her lips and tasted delicately. “It’s good. Do I want to know what’s in it?”

  Kane’s lips quirked, but never quite made a smile. “Winter food for the Cheyenne. Ground jerky and cherries mostly. It’s breakfast for today.”

  Molly ate up, filling her belly and by the time she’d finished her coffee, Kane had the horses hitched and the wagon reloaded. He stood waiting for her by the side of the wagon. Molly readied to climb up, but Kane halted her. He stood there, contemplating, struggling with something he wanted to say. “Molly, if you are with child—”

  Molly shook her head, unwilling to hear him out. He was too noble a man to allow a woman bearing his child to go without. He would do the honorable thing and take care of her. But Molly didn’t want to hear that. She didn’t want any other bargains or agreements with Kane. She didn’t want to be his burden, a responsibility he’d rather not have. “We created a memory last night, Kane,” she said softly. “Nothing more.”

  Molly helped herself up onto the wagon without glancing back at him. She couldn’t bear to see his reaction, his sigh of relief again. With steady nerves, she seated herself on the damp wagon seat and made ready for the ride back to the Bar J.

  She no longer felt like she was going home.

  The Bar J was as temporary a home as Kane was a husband.

  Chapter Ten

  “I’m sorry for you, Molly. I know the disappointment you must feel right now. But if Charlie is out there, we’ll find him.” Bennett smiled and pressed his hand to hers.

  Molly sat in a tall comfortable chair in the dining room with Kane’s grandfather, grateful to see that his health hadn’t declined while they’d been gone. Bennett actually looked better and Molly felt hopeful. But she also knew that when one was ill, they had good days and bad days. Today, Bennett was having a
good day, most likely because Kane had returned home. Not that Kane had spent much time with Bennett. As soon as they’d returned, he checked on his grandfather, making sure all was well, then rode off. Molly didn’t know where Kane had gone, but he sure as heck had taken off like a jackrabbit while Molly had soaked in a tub before joining Bennett for dinner. “I can’t thank you enough for all you’ve already done. It made our days on the trail easier.”

  Bennett waved a hand in the air. “Ah! I did nothing but send a few wires. There’s more to be done. Don’t you worry, now.”

  Molly managed a smile while she picked at her food, a plate filled with spicy meat and potatoes, vegetables and fresh tortillas, cooked up special by Lupe. She should be famished since she hadn’t eaten anything since this morning. Her usual healthy appetite had waned since her conversation with Kane earlier. That, and the sad fact that she hadn’t found her brother and had nowhere else to turn at the moment definitely stifled her hunger. Yet, she found that she’d missed Bennett’s company. The old man had truly wedged a way into her heart.

  “Eat up, Molly. You might be eating for two.”

  Molly gasped, dropping the fork from her hand. “For…two?” she managed, wondering how Bennett found out about her encounter with Kane last night. Had Kane told his grandfather?

  But then Molly realized her mistake. Of course Bennett would naturally assume that she and Kane would soon conceive a child. Bennett believed the marriage real. He had no knowledge of the bargain she’d made. And even though he’d been first to dupe her, Molly felt shame and guilt about lying to the old man. Her duplicity weighed on her like a deep sea anchor. More than anything she hated lying.

  “You and Kane will give me a great grandson before I die.”

  Molly couldn’t blame the man. He wanted his legacy to be passed on to the next generation of Jacksons. She didn’t have the heart to quell Bennett’s hopes. “I, uh, maybe someday.”