“Only thing that’s missing,” Bennett continued, pretending not to hear Kane’s admonishment, “is a child. That would make the circle complete.”
Kane held his tongue. His grandfather knew Kane wanted no children. He hadn’t changed his mind. And he’d gone to great pains and sacrificed much to ensure that no child would be created in this house. Hell, he ached every night for completion when he bedded his wife, but Kane exercised great willpower. Molly eased his suffering with skillful hands. But Kane often thought about bringing them both to that peak of pleasure at the same time.
Bennett leaned in, refusing to let the subject drop. “Well, have you gotten your wife pregnant yet?”
“Oh!”
The sound of Molly’s voice startled them and they turned to find her entering the kitchen, her face rose petal red, her green eyes wide with surprise.
“Come in dear girl,” Bennett offered, gesturing for her to take a seat and join them.
“Excuse me for interrupting, but I wanted to speak to Kane about Charlie.” Molly looked straight at him, and lately every time she walked into a room his heart pumped a little harder. Today was no different. “If you have a moment?”
Kane nodded and rose from the table, grateful he didn’t have to answer his grandfather’s probing question. He took her arm and guided her outside. They walked a little bit away from the house finding shade from a small white oak tree.
“I don’t know what to say,” she began, her eyes misting up. “You’ve done so much and now, you’ve given my brother a home and a job.”
“It’s part of our bargain.”
Molly stiffened, her back rearing up like a wary cat.
Kane wished he could bring those words back the moment he’d said them because for the first time today, Molly’s joy evaporated and he knew he was to blame.
“Yes, our bargain,” she repeated, as if the recollection stung her. “I pray Bennett lives a long time…but if he doesn’t you’ll have both McGuires out of your hair.” She turned to leave, holding her head high but not even her valiant pride could conceal a voice filled with pain. Kane reached for her.
“Ah, Little Bird,” he said, taking her into his arms. “I didn’t mean to bring that up today.” In truth, most of the time Kane had forgotten about the bargain. He supposed living as man and wife, making love every night and some nights more than once, did that. Perhaps both had gotten too comfortable in their fake roles. Perhaps his bringing it up was a good thing, but he didn’t want to see Molly hurt. And he had hurt her just now.
He cursed under his breath, hating what he’d done.
Molly pulled away from him and the loss shot through him like an arrow. “Sometimes, Kane Jackson, I think you’re the most wonderful man in the world. And sometimes,” Molly said, lowering her voice to a forced whisper, “I think you have a heart of stone.”
Later that evening, Kane walked Charlie to the bunkhouse. “Are you sure you want to stay out here?” he asked. “We have more than enough spare rooms in the house. And you’re welcome to any one of them.”
Charlie shook his head. “Nah. I’m used to sleeping out on the range. The bunkhouse will seem like a fancy hotel for me. And besides, this is the best way to meet the men.”
“It’s important for you to fit in, right?”
Charlie nodded. “It ain’t always easy when you’re green and from the east. I took my share of ribbing on the trail, and I expect I’ll get some here, too. But, sooner or later, when they see I’m a hard worker and willing to learn, I’ll win them over. I appreciate just having a roof overhead and a job to call my own.”
Kane liked his attitude. Under the circumstances Kane would do the same, wanting to earn his keep and work hard, proving himself. He saw a lot of potential in a young man with a whole lot of heart. Just like his sister.
I think you have a heart of stone.
Molly’s cutting words came to mind and Kane admitted to himself the truth in them. He had closed himself off, guarding his heart carefully and protecting himself from the kind of hurt that destroys a man. He wasn’t being fair to Molly. She deserved more and Kane often thought that when the time came for Molly to leave, she would be free to find the kind of man who would treat her kindly and give her the love she sought. It wouldn’t be difficult for someone like Molly to find a man. The thought knifed through his gut, so Kane gave up thinking about the future, keeping his heart of stone intact. He brought his attention back to the present and Charlie.
“Molly wanted you to stay at the house.”
Charlie glanced at the main house. “I know, but we talked, and she seemed to understand. I’m a few years younger, but I’m not a little boy anymore. It’ll take her a while to get used to that. I can reason with my sister.”
Kane laughed. “You can? Tell me how?”
Charlie smiled and shook his head. “Okay, she’s headstrong. And once she sets her mind to something, there’s usually no stopping her, but she’s so happy now that I think she would’ve agreed to anything.”
Kane agreed. Molly had been happy all day long, from the moment she set foot in the Cheyenne village and saw the willingness in the children’s eyes, to coming home and finding her brother alive and well. She’d been overjoyed, until Kane spoke harsh words to her—truthful words, but harsh nonetheless, thus destroying her happiness.
Kane sought out Toby and introduced Charlie to his foreman and the other ranch hands. He made sure Charlie had a bunk and the supplies he needed, then bid him swift good-night. Kane had an overwhelming urge to see Molly, to somehow make things right with her.
They’d all eaten dinner together in the dining room and while Charlie did most of the talking, Molly barely spared Kane a glance. She’d taken off with Charlie the moment the meal was over and Kane lost track of them until he’d spotted Molly’s brother speaking with one of the hands by the corral.
The night was cool and quiet, except for the whinnies of a few mares settling down for the night. It was a peaceful time, when animals and humans alike sought rest. Kane sought a different kind of peace. He peered up to their bedroom window and noted the lamplight out. Molly had already gone to bed. He entered the house quickly and took two steps at a time up the stairs. With care, he opened their bedroom door and stepped inside.
Moonlight cascaded into the room streaming a ray onto the bed. An uneasy sensation swept through him when he found the bed empty. Molly wasn’t there and he hadn’t seen her since dinner. Hell, every time his wife turned up missing, she’d gotten into trouble.
“Damn, where’d she go now?” he muttered. He paced the bedroom, marching back and forth contemplating. Occasionally, he glanced out the window. She couldn’t be with Bennett. His grandfather had retired early tonight, right after dinner. And the kitchen was quiet. No sign of Lupe. She’d gone to sleep as well.
The only soothing thought Kane had was that Molly wouldn’t dream of leaving the Bar J now, not when her beloved brother had returned. Yes, Kane thought, easing his mind some, Molly wouldn’t leave the ranch. Of that, he was certain.
Kane headed downstairs. He’d simply wait up for his renegade wife.
Molly tightened the shawl around her shoulders and walked briskly down the path heading toward home. After spending time with her brother tonight she’d taken a long stroll, needing a chance to clear her head. She’d been angry with Kane and injured by his blunt statement. Kane’s reminder that the life she enjoyed at the moment was a temporary arrangement had struck her with harsh clarity.
Molly had almost forgotten.
But Kane hadn’t lied to her. He’d never portrayed their marriage as anything other than a way to achieve goals, hers to locate her brother, his to ease an old man’s last days.
Molly had a home. She had her brother back. She had children to teach. Was she greedy to want more—to want it all? Or was she a fool to fall in love with a man who clearly didn’t want the same things in life that she did?
Clouds overhead blocked starlight, and Mol
ly stopped on the path to glance at the surroundings. She’d been distraught earlier, Kane’s words echoing in her head, and she’d headed away from the house, her frustration taking her farther than she’d intended. “Don’t get lost, Molly,” she whispered into the night.
An owl hooted and she jumped.
“Just stay on the right path,” she said, convincing herself she was heading in the right direction. There was nothing to fear. She hadn’t left Bar J property. No, her fear was buried deep inside and it had nothing to do with not finding her way back home tonight. Her fear stemmed from finding her way when she no longer lived with Kane. When the Bar J would no longer be her home.
She couldn’t blame Kane entirely. She’d entered into their bargain knowing the terms and understanding the consequences. And if given the choice again, she wouldn’t have changed the time she had with Kane, the way she felt when he held her, the way she felt when their bodies joined. She had decided that she would grasp all she could from their time together.
Molly saw her path clearly now. She would enjoy her time at the Bar J for all its worth. She had so much to be grateful for and she wouldn’t fault Kane for what he hadn’t been able to give her. Already, he’d given her so much.
A dim light flickered in the distance, and Molly realized she hadn’t been far from home at all. She found her way back easily and once she entered the house, she tiptoed quietly, heading for the staircase.
“Has my wife finally decided to come home?” Kane’s voice startled her. She turned toward the parlor where he stood, leaning against the opened doorway holding a bottle of liquor.
“K-Kane, I thought you’d be in bed by now.”
He smiled ruefully, lifting the bottle to his lips and taking a swallow. “Hoping I was fast asleep?”
“No. Not really.”
“Where did you go?”
“For a walk.”
Kane took a deep breath then spun around. Molly watched him march into the parlor and sink into the sofa. Slouched, his long legs stretched out. “Kane? Are you drunk?” Molly followed him into the room.
He lifted the half empty bottle of whiskey he held. “Not yet.”
Molly sat down next to him on the sofa, eyeing him quietly. She’d never seen Kane like this. He’d always appeared steadfast and strong, but tonight he showed her a different side. As much as she wanted the old Kane back, the one she could rely on, she also wanted to know more of this intriguing man. “Why drink at all?”
Kane ignored her question. Instead he sipped from the bottle. “I haven’t been fair to you.”
“Wh-what?” she asked in a stunned whisper.
“You deserve better than me, Little Bird.”
Molly blinked, but other than that she didn’t show Kane her surprise. “No, I don’t.” If only he knew how much she cared for him, how rich a life they could have together if Kane would tear down his defenses and allow her inside his heart.
Kane’s lips curved up but his smile held only regret. “We both know that you do. I have entered into an unholy bargain with you. We have no future together, yet we pretend that we do in front of the ones we care about the most. We’re deceiving them and deceiving ourselves. And even now, when I know I’ve hurt you and brought you pain… I want you. And what’s more, I want you to want me.”
Kane sat up straight and turned to face her. “I crave you, Molly.” He took her hand and set it on his chest, right over his heart. Rapid beats pulsed under her fingertips. “So much.”
Molly melted from his honest words. “I crave you, too, Kane.”
Kane bent to kiss her, taking her into his arms. He smelled of whiskey and when their lips touched, the warm heady taste stirred her senses. She liked the way Kane tasted, liked the way her body reacted to his scent.
“I want you now, Molly.” Kane laid Molly down on the sofa. He came up over her, kissing her lips and working the buttons of her dress.
“Here?” she managed to ask in between kisses.
“Here.” He spread open the material of her dress and gazed at her body with hot hungry eyes.
“Now?” A fresh bout of excitement stirred within her. This was highly inappropriate and she’d be mortified if anyone walked in on them, but when Kane claimed her mouth once again then moved lower to suckle her breast, laving the tips with his tongue, Molly’s rational thoughts swiftly fled.
“Now,” Kane said, unbuttoning his trousers.
Molly reached up to unfasten the buttons on his shirt, and once done, she spread both hands onto his hot skin, her fingers working through the fine hairs to caress the muscles underneath.
Kane didn’t bother removing his pants. He didn’t bother removing her dress. Instead he hiked her dress up, and kneeling, he entered her with one efficient move. A deep low guttural groan escaped his lips and Molly, too, felt the power and strength of their joining. Like two pieces of a puzzle, they fit. And, oh, the fitting was perfect.
Kane moved inside with slow sweeping strokes, taking Molly higher and higher, her body tuned to his in every way. They climbed to a towering peak, Molly crying out as Kane pushed her to the limit. They went up and over together, their release spontaneous and exquisitely powerful. Kane shuddered, his body taking every last ounce of Molly until both were sated and complete.
It was only later, when her mind and body had calmed, that she realized what had happened. Kane hadn’t denied them wonderful fulfillment this time. He hadn’t pulled away at the final moment. And it had been beautiful. Molly had never felt closer to another human being in her life.
Buttoning her dress, she sat up and faced Kane. But he wouldn’t look at her. Instead, he sat with his head in his hands, looking grim.
Molly touched his arm. “It was wonderful, Kane.”
Kane only shook his head. In a self-deprecating tone, he said quietly, “Like I said, you deserve better.”
Molly had to disagree. After what they shared, she knew in her heart that there was nothing better.
“Are you sorry?” she asked.
“It was wrong, Molly. And unfair to you.”
“Are you sorry?” she asked again, needing to know if what they shared just now had been one-sided.
Kane shook his head. “No, Molly. I’m not sorry, but if you—”
Molly silenced him with her finger to his lips. “I’m not sorry, either. There is a reason for what happens between us.”
But Kane looked skeptical. And Molly didn’t know how or if she could ever make him understand.
“Let’s get some sleep, Little Bird. You have to teach a class tomorrow.”
Molly smiled. “Yes, I do, don’t I?”
Kane lifted her and carried her up the stairs to their bedroom. He helped her undress and then tucked her in, kissing her one last time. She watched as he headed for the door.
“Where are you going?”
“I’ll be sleeping in one of the spare bedrooms from now on, Molly.”
Molly bolted straight up. “Don’t you dare,” she admonished.
Kane found her threat amusing. He smiled briefly, but he spoke with firm resolve. “It’s the only way, Little Bird. Don’t argue. I’m doing this for you.”
“I don’t want you to go.”
“And I don’t want to go, but unless I do, what happened tonight will happen again and again.”
Molly squeezed her eyes shut. Almost immediately, she formulated a plan. She wouldn’t allow Kane to sleep alone, thinking he was doing right by her or not. Molly cherished her time with Kane. She needed him by her side. And even though he believed he’d failed them both tonight, Molly wholeheartedly disagreed. She and Kane had created a memory that would last her entire lifetime. “Okay then, don’t slam the door on your way out.”
Kane narrowed his eyes in puzzlement.
“Good night, Kane.” She snuggled into her sheets.
Kane closed the door slowly, shaking his head.
Molly vowed that one way or another, she would make sure Kane returned to their bed onc
e again.
Or her name wasn’t Molly McGuire Jackson.
Chapter Sixteen
The next week flew by, as Molly kept busy with her duties at the Cheyenne village. Kane only allowed her to teach on the days he would visit. He would set her down from the wagon, take her hand and deliver her to her makeshift classroom, politely wishing her a good day. But as she taught the students, enmeshed in her task, often she would look out upon the village and their eyes would meet. Kane watched her from a distance even as he taught young Cheyenne men ranching skills, even as he spoke with his mother outside by her lodge.
And on the days she wasn’t able to teach, Molly spent time working on her lesson plans, realizing that while the younger of the children seemed more satisfied, the older ones became frustrated easily, impatient to learn and to grasp the knowledge she offered. The sessions went slowly, Molly taking care and time to see that each one understood the lesson before she moved on.
And each night after supper, she would sit outside the house with Bennett and Charlie, enjoying the cool evening air, sharing the events of the day. Bennett seemed to enjoy Charlie’s company, but it was Charlie who had completely been taken by Kane.
He spoke of little else but what new skill Kane had taught him that day. How good Kane was with a rope and a gun, and too often he’d expound on one of Kane’s adventures while seeking out his late wife’s killer. This surprised Molly because she knew Kane didn’t often speak of those times, keeping most of that time in his life to himself. But somewhere deep in her heart, Molly believed Kane, had a purpose in sharing with Charlie what his life had been like then. Kane, if Molly was correct in her thinking, wanted to halt any notions that being a gunfighter, even if the cause was a noble one, wasn’t all Charlie thought it to be. In truth, Molly believed Kane in the short time he’d known her brother, had changed Charlie’s way of thinking.
And Molly loved him all the more for his efforts.
Tonight, after supper, Molly found Kane sitting outside with Bennett and Charlie. She didn’t hesitate to take a seat on the bench next to him, brushing her thighs to his. Kane inhaled, a little catch that no one else noticed but Molly. And though she hadn’t been able to break down his defenses yet, each night before bed Molly would ask for a good-night kiss before he would enter the room where he slept. And each night, Kane would take her into his arms and kiss her until her knees buckled. Each night their embrace lasted longer and longer, both having more and more difficulty parting.
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