“Yeah, but the makeup sex is always good, huh?”
I shot Jim a quelling look. “It was bad enough when you said things like that while in dog form. Now it’s just creepy. We have to pick up Brom in three hours—that gives us a bit of time to work on changing you back. If you could call Aisling and tell her that we’ll leave you with May and Gabriel, I’ll go make sure that Baltic got Thala unlocked and then meet you out in the side garden.”
“Why the garden?” it asked as I headed for the stairs.
“I think best around plants. And . . . er . . . there’s nothing to break if my magic goes weird again.”
“Nothing except me,” Jim said forlornly, but it obediently rose and went to the phone.
“Hmm. I wonder . . .” I marched up the stairs puzzling over the thought that something other than the interdiction could be seriously wrong with my magic, which would explain why the summoning of the First Dragon didn’t work. “It worked before, though. What’s changed since the sárkány?”
The sight of Baltic and Pavel holding up a still muzzy-headed Thala between them drove that thought out of my brain. Despite Baltic’s smug look (which I decided was more tolerable than a pissed-off look), I helped them get her downstairs and into the kitchen, and when I left them, Baltic was trying to pour milky coffee down her gullet while Pavel was likewise shoving in bite-sized bits of scone.
“Thank god she’s not mortal and can’t choke to death,” I said to myself as Thala sputtered out bits of coffee-laden scone.
I found Jim contemplating a lovely yellow rosebush.
“Don’t even think about it!” I warned.
It sighed, its shoulders slumped. “I wouldn’t. There’s no fun in peeing on things with a human package. It’s just so ordinary.”
“Moving past that, let’s get this over with before Baltic gets Thala awake enough that she can talk without spewing out scone crumbs. I want to hear what she has to say about her captivity.”
“Yeah, should be good, especially if Drake had her tortured.” It must have seen the look on my face because it hurriedly added, “I’m sure Ash wouldn’t let him do that. For a badass demon lord, she’s totally wimpy when it comes to hurting people.”
“I’m reassured to hear that. All right, sit down, and let me concentrate on what I need to do.” I calmed my somewhat frazzled mind and tried once again to access that magical spot in my brain that gave me access to arcane powers. It remained elusive, just on the fringes of my consciousness, so close I could almost see it. Dragon fire was there, banked as usual when I wasn’t physically near Baltic, but it glowed hot in my mind, and I couldn’t help but wonder if it was that which had upset the balance of my magic. “I’ll just have to try it regardless.”
“Oh, man, that doesn’t fill me to the brim with confidence,” Jim said, its eyes filled with foreboding. “You’d make a horrible motivational speaker, babe. Aren’t you supposed to be in charge and professional, like Aisling?”
I stared at it. “Good lord, no. Magic isn’t at all orderly.”
“I’m gonna die!” it wailed.
“Be quiet, I’m intoning.” I turned to the east. “Air surrounds thee.” I faced south. “Fire fills thee.”
Jim stopped whimpering, watching me with curious eyes. “Calling the quarters, eh? Aisling does that, but she says different stuff.”
“Hush.” I turned north. “Earth nourishes thee.” Finally, I faced west. “Water gives life to thee. Demon in birth, demon in being, by the grace within me, I release thee from thy form.”
Jim’s body shimmered for a moment, twisted in upon itself, and then re-formed.
“Oh, great!” it said, looking down. “Now I’m going to have to buy another kilt!”
I spun around to face the house. “Why are you naked again?”
“The question is more why aren’t I standing here in my magnificent form? What’s wrong with your magic? Why can’t you change me back? Are you even trying? I don’t think you’re trying!”
“I am trying, and I don’t know what’s going on. That spell should have done the trick.” I chewed on my lower lip as I thought. “It has to be Baltic’s fire that’s messing things up. I’ll try it again without it.”
Jim heaved a martyred sigh as it sat down on the grass. “Whatever. Just change me back. This grass tickles, and I don’t think you want me scratching where it itches.”
I cleared my mind and tried the spell again, attempting to pull energy from the living things around me, but nothing happened. “It’s the dragon fire. It’s interfering with my concentration,” I told the demon as I mentally shooed the dragon fire away. “We’ll give it another shot.”
“I think something just bit my ass,” Jim said, rising up on one cheek as it tried to look around at its behind. “Do bees live in the grass? Maybe it was a snake! Do they have poisonous snakes in England? Fires of Abaddon, you gotta suck the poison from my ass!”
“I am not sucking anything, and calm down. You’re distracting me.”
“I’m gonna die! At least it wasn’t my fabulous form that has been poisoned. Things are going a bit dark, Ysolde. I see spots and stuff. I think I may ralph. Does snake poison make you want to puke?”
I ignored the demon’s hysterics as I gently but persistently dampened every last bit of Baltic’s dragon fire that resided within me. “Now, let’s try it,” I said, rolling up my sleeves as I sketched a clarity spell in the air. I spoke the words, waiting for the familiar tingle of magic to surround me.
“Farewell, cruel world. Tell Cecile I loved her!” A loud thump followed that declaration. Jim lay flat on its back, its arms stretched out dramatically.
“You’re still naked. And human. And for the love of all that is good and glorious, grab some fig leaves or something! I don’t want to see that.”
“I had clothes on, until you stripped them off me,” Jim grumbled, sitting upright. “Hey, the spots are gone. I guess the snake poison was no match for a demon.”
“Snake poison?”
“Yeah, from the snake that bit me.” It stood up and turned around. “Right here on my ass.”
“That’s a rock, not a snake, you idiot,” I said, pulling off my T-shirt and smacking Jim on the butt with it before handing it to the demon. “Loincloth that, and don’t even think of trying to give it back to me.”
Jim eyed my chest as it wrapped the T-shirt around its waist. “I see you still have your sept tat on your left boobie.”
I tugged up the lacy top of my camisole and glared at the demon before marching toward the house.
“Hey!” Jim called from where it stood. “You’re not going to leave me in human form, are you? I thought you were going to change me back.”
“I tried. There’s something going on with Baltic’s fire that’s messing me up, so until I get it figured out, you’re just going to have to stay that way.”
“What?” Jim shrieked, its voice startling the morning birds that were chattering and singing to each other from the safety of the shrubberies. “No way! I can’t stay like this! I had to be human for a week, and it was a nightmare! I’ll be good, I promise. I won’t make you look at my snakebite. Just change me back, pretty please with dog hair on top.”
I stopped at the door to the kitchen. “I would if I could, Jim, but right now, there’s so much going on in my life, I think it’s all affecting my magic. If I can get a few things taken care of, then I can concentrate on figuring out what’s going wrong. Until then, I’m sorry, but human form won’t kill you.”
“That’s what you think,” it muttered darkly, following after me as I entered the house. “I think you can change me, but you just don’t want to. Man, I’m so going to tell Baltic that you have the hots for my naked human form.”
“You do and the kilt won’t be the only thing missing,” I warned before trotting upstairs to get a new shirt.
An hour later, after having been forced to run into town to buy Jim a replacement kilt and shirt, along with a pair of shoes
and some underwear, I left the demon with a big bowl of popcorn and a stack of Pavel’s DVDs. I stood outside Baltic’s study for a few moments, straining my ears to hear what was going on, but there was nothing audible but a faint rumble of male voices. I tapped on the door and entered, not surprised to see Thala up and about.
She whirled around at the noise, her eyes narrowing on me. “Pavel says you are human now, and not a dragon.”
I blinked at the unexpected statement. I half thought she might lambaste me for drugging and restraining her, but evidently she either didn’t realize what had happened—which, given the muddled state the sleeping drugs had left her in, wasn’t out of the question—or she chose to ignore it. “Yes, I am.”
“No, you are not. You are my mate, and thus are a light dragon,” Baltic corrected, looking up from an architect’s plan.
I let that go and eyed Thala curiously. She was about my height, built a bit broader than me, with coppercolored hair and dark reddish brown eyes. There was a blackish blue aura around her that warned she had control of some sort of dark power. Baltic had told me she was a necromancer, and that her mother was his former girlfriend, the famed archimage Antonia von Endres. What was more unsettling was the fact that she was also the sister to the woman I had recently learned was the true wife of the man I had married. “Did Ruth not tell you about me?”
“Ruth?” Her lip curled in scorn. “That pretender. I haven’t spoken to her since Baltic was slain.”
I raised my eyebrows. “I had no idea you were present at Dauva when that happened.”
“I wasn’t.”
“Odd, then, that you would date something to that event.”
She turned her back on me, clearly dismissing my existence, addressing herself to Baltic instead. “If Kostich holds the light sword, then he must be keeping it at the vault at Suffrage House. That’s the best security he can hope for in France. We will simply have to get it from there. We should go to Paris immediately and see how much protection he has added.”
“That would probably be best,” Baltic answered, a strange hesitancy in his manner. “Later. Now that Ysolde is here, however, we can discuss your experience at the hands of the weyr.”
Thala’s hands tightened around the edge of the desk. “Surely that can wait for another time? Your woman can have no concern with what was said to me.”
“My mate is concerned in every aspect of my life,” Baltic corrected, giving Thala a no-nonsense look. Love warmed my heart. I wanted to simultaneously cheer and kiss him, but that would no doubt enrage the woman who I was beginning to believe was more than a little jealous of my presence.
“Oh, to hell with it,” I said, and walked over to Baltic, pulling his head down so I could kiss him. I heard a swift hiss of breath behind me as Baltic, never one to brush off a kiss, put both hands on my behind and wrapped me in dragon fire.
“What was that for?” he asked when he had retrieved his lip from where I was sucking on it.
“Nothing in particular. I just felt like kissing you.”
“I approve of the sentiment,” he said, a hint of laughter in his ebony eyes. “Although I suspect that situation we discussed earlier is not as resolved as you claim it is.”
“I’m not the jealous one here,” I whispered into his ear as I nipped on his earlobe before turning in his arms to smile at Thala.
If looks could kill, the entire area within a ten-mile radius would have been a radioactive wasteland.
My smile grew, more to annoy her than to appear friendly. “Much as I would love to hear what the dragons did to you, I’m afraid Baltic and I have an appointment. It’s time for us to pick up Brom.”
“Brom?” Her fiery gaze narrowed on me again. “Who is Brom?”
“My son. He’s been staying with Gabriel and May for the weekend.”
“You have a son.” She was silent for a few beats before a slow smile stole over her face. “How excellent. You may go retrieve your son. We have no need of your assistance in making plans.”
Pavel, who had been standing behind Thala, pursed his lips and shook his head.
Behind me, Baltic stiffened, his hands under mine holding me back when I would have marched forward.
“Oh, you did not just say that,” I said, my ire thoroughly roused.
“Am I missing something good? Who didn’t say what? Hey, that chick you cuffed is up. Hiya. We met earlier, but you probably don’t remember me. I’m Jim. Effrijim, really, but no one calls me that except Aisling when she’s pissed about something. Don’t let this human form throw you—I’m normally much more handsome. So you’re Balter’s old girlfriend, huh? Did I interrupt a catfight about to happen? I did, didn’t I? Pavel, can I borrow your phone? It does have a camera, right? Does it do video? Man, why didn’t I think to bring my digital camera?” Jim wandered into the room with the bowl of popcorn. “This might almost make being stuck in human form worthwhile.”
Thala looked at Jim like it had a miniature herd of rhinoceroses dancing a ballet on its head.
“You didn’t miss anything, Jim, because Thala didn’t say anything. Did you?” I said in a calm, even tone.
Pavel backed away several feet.
Jim sucked in its breath and did likewise. “Uh . . . right. I can see that. Don’t turn me into a banana, please. Human form is better than that.”
“I haven’t banana-ed anything since the sárkány,” I said with a significant look at Thala that she totally ignored.
“Do you have any idea who I am?” She answered my threat by stepping forward, her eyes glittering with an unholy red light.
“Yes. You’re the woman who is clearly bent out of shape over the fact that I’m back in Baltic’s life. Get over it, Thala. I may be human, but I’m also immortal, and Baltic and I are very much together. Nothing you can do will change that, so if you don’t want to force me to rain down death and destruction on your head, you’ll move on.”
Baltic sighed heavily. “Mate, do not threaten Thala.”
“If there is any death and destruction to be done, I will be the one performing it,” she snarled at me, her hands fisted as she took another step forward. Menace and fury rolled off her in palpable waves, but I knew a stand had to be made.
I tried to move forward again to accept her obvious challenge; Baltic, however, held me firmly against his body. “Thala, do not threaten my mate.”
Jim moved over to where Pavel was watching the scene. “It’s gonna be a catfight, and me with no camera! Lend me your phone, buddy. We could make a killing off the video, especially if they both go into dragon form. I’ll go fifty-fifty in the profits with you.”
“There will be no fight,” Baltic said, glaring at Jim for a few seconds before transferring his attention to Thala. “Will there?”
Her jaw worked angrily before she managed another one of those bloodcurdling smiles. “I only ever have your best wishes at heart, Baltic. If you desire that I ignore your woman’s insults, then I shall do so.”
I tapped my fingers on Baltic’s hand, where it lay over one of mine.
His sigh ruffled my hair. “There was a time when I believed that all would be peaceful once Ysolde was at my side again. I see that I was wrong.”
I turned in his arms to give him a share of my scowl. “I am not the one who started this—”
“Enough.” He gave me a quick, hard kiss, then turned me and gave me a gentle push toward the door. “You will no doubt wish to drive us to London, since you claim my piloting the vehicle takes years off your life. We will go to fetch our son—”
I noticed the emphasis he put on the last words, and smiled at them.
“—and Thala can fly to Paris to determine what new measures of security Kostich has put into place to guard the light sword.”
Thala blinked a couple of times. “You’re not coming with me?”
“No. I have business to attend to at Dauva, and Ysolde has extracted from me a promise to meet with the weyr, which she no doubt intends for me to fulf
ill soon. Once you have assessed the security, return here and we will make our plans.”
I was about to ask Baltic why he needed to go back to Latvia when he had just returned from there, but something about the set of his jaw had me clamping down on the question. “I’ll bring the car around. Jim, get your things. Pavel, are you coming with us?”
He shook his head, flickering a quick glance at Baltic that set off a number of warning bells in my head. “I have some things to attend to. You may exchange polite greetings with the silver guards on my behalf, if you like. Nothing too friendly, and I would prefer that the greetings are offered only after they have acknowledged my absence, since we are the older dragons and it is our due to be greeted before offering the same.”
“You guys are downright archaic sometimes,” I said, shaking my head as I herded a protesting Jim and its bowl of popcorn out the door.
Baltic claims he knows how to drive perfectly well, but experience has shown me that while he has a firm grasp on the mechanics of driving a car, he disregards all other aspects of the driving experience and thus has only a vague idea of rules of the road, laws, and even what common courtesy is with regard to other drivers. He also doesn’t give a damn about any of that, which means that usually either Pavel or I drive when we go somewhere. Luckily, I enjoy driving, even on England’s sometimes confusing roadways.
“Jim,” I said once we had joined the throng of folks streaming toward London, “can I give you direct orders that you can’t refuse?”
“Uh-oh. I don’t like the sound of that,” it said, looking up from one of Pavel’s risqué magazines it had filched before leaving the house. “What kind of an order?”
“I don’t want you to hear what I’m going to say.”
Baltic shot me a startled look.
Jim sighed. “Yeah, you can. But I’d like to point out that I can also keep my lips zipped if I have to, so you don’t really have to order me not to hear something.”
I thought for a moment, then shook my head, both at the driver in front of me who slammed on his brakes for no reason and at the thought of speaking my concerns in front of the demon. “Effrijim, I command you to not hear anything I say until I tell you it’s OK.”
The Unbearable Lightness of Dragons ld-2 Page 11
