Light the candle, then take out your Bible and turn to the Book of Matthew. Read chapter 5:3-11 (see Appendix C).
When you are done, allow the candle to burn out. If any wax is left behind, you may wish to inspect it for any signs of the work. Then, gather the remains and ritually dispose of them by burying them in your backyard. Take the photograph of yourself and press it in the Bible at the Beatitudes as a remembrance of your blessings.
Of Lovers and Labels
It has been an ongoing trend the past few years - but it is beginning to sink into my consciousness - how the younger generation is casting off labels. Like, somehow it is easier for a man to have sex with another man if they don't put a name to it. In this respect, I think black culture was ahead of its time with the whole "down low" thing; but, that's another story that presents its own sort of problems.
I look upon this trend as both a good thing and a bad thing. If that is what it takes for these young people to accept themselves and thereby each other, then more power to them! Through their eyes, I can really see a day when gay people enjoy all the freedoms and liberties of straight people. On the other hand, and this may be that I am a product of my generation, I like labels. If not for labels, I wouldn't know when to machine wash and when to tumble dry, or I might eat poison instead of corn or peas. Yes, labels are used to separate and divide folks. It’s that whole "us and them" pattern of thinking.
I, like many other gay men before me, grew up bullied and was called names like faggot, sissy, cocksucker, homo, and so forth. People used these words to break me down. Nevertheless, like black folks who reclaimed the N-word, I was taught how to take these words back and let them empower me. They are, after all, just words. It never was the word that hurt me; it was the stigma that was attached to it and the hate and ignorance from the person who said it to me that caused me the most pain.
By the same token, labels can just as easily bring people together. Putting a name to what you are is the first indication (especially for those questioning their sexuality) that YOU ARE NOT A FREAK, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. These words - the labels - are how we take our first steps along the journey of self-discovery. It is how we find our tribe, our family, and ultimately, ourselves.
So, I say to the next generation, you be you and do you boo, but don't forget the wisdom of your gay Elders and Ancestors. Our labels give us strength, our labels empower us, our labels give us visibility and power. Don't be so quick to abandon them.
Life and Death, Death and Rebirth
It is often said that before you can build a man up, you have to break him down. That means before you can grow, change, and evolve, you must let go of outdated thoughts and beliefs about yourself that don’t serve to lift you up.
Christine Jorgensen, the first trans person to become widely known for having gender reassignment surgery, once told a story about a dream she had the night before her surgery. In her dream, she (as a female, her true self) attended a funeral. She didn’t know whose funeral it was, but when she approached the open casket, she saw her male self there. It was then that any lingering doubt she had about her surgery abandoned her and she was fully able to accept herself for the woman that she was.
Many LGBT youths entertain thoughts of suicide or become obsessed with the idea of death. If you or someone you know begins talking about suicide or contemplating suicide, then seek professional medical help immediately (see the Resources section at the end of the book). That said, the following ritual draws upon the imagery of death and funeral customs to lay to rest those negative thoughts, beliefs, and ideas that have been ingrained in one’s consciousness and that need to be eliminated for healthy growth and soul evolution.
Rebirth Doll
You will begin by making a doll to represent yourself. This can be done by taking two pieces of fabric in human shape, sewing them together and stuffing it with bunting. If you are not handy with needle and thread, you can purchase a toy doll, use a human-figure candle, or cut a human-shaped figure out of a piece of construction paper (you may want to glue a photo of your face to the doll and write your name across the chest) to act as your doll. You will name it after yourself, and it will represent you in every sense.
Next, you will write down all the negative thoughts, ideas, and beliefs that you hold about yourself on a square of paper. When you are done, you will attach this paper to your doll. When the moon is waning (on the decrease) take your doll outside somewhere away from your property. Dig a small hole and place the doll inside the hole. Open a Bible that you have brought with you and turn to Psalm 91 (see Appendix D). Pray the Psalm over the doll. When you are done, cover the doll with the dirt, get up, and walk away without looking back. As you walk away, repeat Psalm 23 (see Appendix E). As the doll disintegrates in the ground, your negative thoughts, beliefs, and ideas about yourself with likewise wane until they are completely gone.
Retrain Your Brain
Write those negative thoughts on a square piece of paper, then draw a large X from corner to corner of the paper. Burn the paper in the flame of a white candle which has been dressed with Cast Off Evil Oil.
Dress yourself with a bit of the oil, too, and resolve to think positive thoughts. In fact, whenever you find yourself thinking negatively, immediately stop and replace those thoughts with positive ones. Over time, you will get into the habit of thinking positively.
A Honey Jar for Self Esteem
Self-esteem is a state of being in which you not only like yourself and who you are, but you also respect yourself. When you respect yourself, you respect others, and you demand to be respected in return. The following spell is designed to help you nurture self-respect and learn to like yourself. It makes use of a Honey Jar.
Honey Jars are a type of container spell that use sweeteners such as honey, syrup, and molasses in conjunction with the burning of a series of fixed candles for compelling an individual to favor your petition in business, love, or court cases.
A typical Honey Jar is created using a small glass container that has a metal lid, such as a baby food jar, and filling it with honey. Depending on your specific intent, as well as what herbs, curios, and personal concerns you have available, additional items may or may not be placed inside the honey. At the very least, a written petition should be placed inside the honey. The jar is then sealed, and a prepared candle is affixed to the top of the lid.
The candle is lit as one’s prayer, or petition is made, and then it is allowed to burn itself out. The following day, and each successive day for a total of seven days, a new fixed candle is burned on the honey jar to heat up the situation and get movement on your issue. After the first seven days, a new fixed candle is burned three times a week on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.
To begin a Honey Jar for self-esteem, you will need:
Honey
Glass jar with a metal lid
Pink candle
Photograph of yourself
Lemongrass
Master Root
Coriander seeds
Cast Off Evil Oil
Blessing Oil
Attraction Oil
Small lodestone
Magnetic sand
Bible
To begin, fill the glass jar ¾ of the way with honey and set it aside. Next, take a photograph of yourself from a time in your life when you were happy, smiling, and upbeat. Turn it over and write a list of all the things that you like about yourself. When you are done, turn the photograph over, look yourself in the eye and tell yourself all the things that you like about yourself that you are valued and that you are loved. Here is a sample script for you to try:
(Your Name), I am so glad that you were born. You are a special person, with a great sense of humor. You are strong, intelligent, creative, talented, and can achieve anything that you desire. You are perfectly all right just the way you are, and I love you.
When you are done, place the lodestone on top of the picture, sprinkle it with magnetic sand, and say:
As I feed y
ou, so will you feed me and draw these qualities out in me so that like this honey, I will shine with the light of the sun and be as sweet to myself in thought, word, and deed, just as this honey is sweet to my tongue. Amen.
Dip your finger in the honey and taste a bit of it, then fold the photograph around the lodestone and place it inside the Honey Jar. Sprinkle in the coriander and lemon grass, and then place the Master Root inside the Honey Jar. Pour three drops each of the condition oils for a total of nine drops. Screw the lid on the jar.
Carve your name on a pink candle and anoint it with the Blessing Oil. Affix the candle to the top of the Honey Jar. Place your hands a few inches above the candle and spend a few moments visualizing yourself happy, smiling, and upbeat. Focus your thoughts on the things that you like about yourself.
When you are ready, light the candle, take out your Bible and read Psalm 139 (see Appendix F). Allow the candle to burn out on its own. Each day after that for a total of seven days burn a pink candle on the Honey Jar and read Psalm 139 to set it working. After the initial week, you will burn a dressed pink candle on the jar three times a week on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. This should be done every week for a total of seven weeks.
Sexual Healing: Restoring Lost Nature
Nature is an old-timey word that is synonymous with sexuality or sexual power. For example, you might hear someone say “John Brown ain’t got no nature for women” (i.e. he is gay), or you might hear that a man has lost his nature, meaning that he is either incapable or disinterested in having sexual relations. Losing one’s nature can occur naturally as a man ages, or it can be taken from him using conjure.
To restore a man’s nature that was lost through natural means, write his name on a fresh egg in red ink. Boil the egg and as it boils say the following prayer, which is adapted from 1 Samuel 16:12:
And he sent, and brought him in. Now he was ruddy, and withal of a beautiful countenance, and goodly to look to. And the LORD said, Arise, anoint him: for this is he.
When the egg is hard-boiled, peel it and feed it to your man in a loving way. You may wish to sit on his lap and feed him bits of the egg (or several of them) at a time, kissing him between bites and praising him for his strength and manliness. Save the water in which you boiled the egg and when it cools have the man use it to wash his genitals.
Let Go and Let God
Parting ways with someone to whom you were once intimately connected can often be a difficult process. Many times, being able to move on is hindered by a need for one or both parties to confront the other. This is often done out of a desire to either show the person how much they have hurt you and thereby get them to understand why you wish to no longer be their friend or lover, or to hurt the other person in return.
Such confrontations often consist of one or both parties explaining what a burden the other person's friendship was, how lucky one person was to have the other, or how much one person did for the other, for example. These conversations usually devolve into personal attacks and judgments about things like an individual's life choices and mistakes they have made, even though before the end of the relationship, this person was perfectly accepting and supportive of you.
The sense of hurt, loss, and betrayal can be overwhelming. Some people need a little something extra to move on with their life. For those people, the following ritual is recommended.
At your altar, butt or flip, a yellow candle and mark it with the name of the person (written backwards) from whom you wish to disconnect yourself. Anoint the candle with Cut and Clear Oil and light it while saying:
With God's blessing, as this candle burns down to nothing may any feelings I have for (N) or any connection I still have to him/her now burn away until nothing remains. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Using a pen, write the name of the person you wish to completely let go of on a fresh lemon. Holding it in your hands, spend a few moments thinking about your desire to be free of any attachment or connection to this person. Now, take that lemon and beginning at the top of your head and working down to your feet, rub the lemon away from your body. Take your time as you do this, and pray the 54th Psalm (see Appendix G).
When you are done, place the lemon by the candle and let it remain until the candle burns itself out. When the candle is spent, place any remains in a paper bag along with the lemon and carry it to the nearest crossroads and leave it there as an offering to the Lord for delivering you. Alternately, you can bury the lemon in the earth somewhere off of your property. As the lemon rots and wastes away, so will your feelings and connection to the person.
To Assuage Grief over a Deceased Love
In the summer of 2014, a story appeared on the news about a couple who were married for 62 years and who died on the same day only hours apart. While this is a beautiful story, what makes it so special is the sad fact that couples who are lucky enough to be together over a long period of time do not often die together. In addition to grief, the person left behind may harbor feelings of guilt (called survivor’s guilt) or even feelings of betrayal and abandonment for having been left behind.
To assuage grief over a loved one’s death, make a small packet of herbs containing Marjoram, Thyme, and Rosemary. Tuck this under your pillow and sleep with it for a total of seven nights. Each night, light a red candle and read John, Chapter 14 (see Appendix H). On the morning of the 8th day, dispose of the packet in running water or at a crossroads and let it take your grief away. It is not recommended that this rite is performed right away, but rather when the individual is prepared to deal with his or her grief.
Spiritual Checkups
From time to time, we get so busy with our everyday lives that we forget how important it is to take the time to care for ourselves. Sure, we visit the doctor or dentist when something ails us, or we are in pain, and some of you are even diligent when it comes to getting your yearly checkups to make sure there aren't any problems, and everything is working properly. But, how often do you perform a spiritual checkup for yourself?
All too often people wait until something is wrong before they take an active part in their own well-being. As magickal practitioners, we put up our protections, and if everything seems okay, we assume that our magick is working. I have also seen many people put a great deal of faith in their own magick while discounting the power of others, which can be a huge mistake.
The protections we set in place don't always work, and sometimes things get through. Evil might come all at once - like it is breaking down your door and charging in like it owns the place - or it might just seep into your life through a small crack that you weren't even aware of. That's why it is important to perform a spiritual checkup from time to time so that you can be aware that something is amiss before it has the opportunity to fully get to you and do the most damage.
For the average person, a spiritual checkup should probably be performed once about every six months. Other times when it would be wise to perform a spiritual checkup include your birthday, New Year's Day, or anytime you feel that you need one. For one person that could be once a month, for another, it might be four times a year.
How to Perform a Spiritual Checkup
Begin by gathering several candles. They can be vigil candles or regular offertory candles. Set them up on your altar and designate each candle for a different area of your life. You can do this by assigning a specific color to each area of your life, or if you only have white candles, you can carve a keyword on each candle. If you go the second route, be sure to slip a piece of paper under each candle with its designation written on it or draw a little diagram for yourself so that you know which candle corresponds to what area of life it represents.
When your candles are ready, light them and pray Psalm 91 (see Appendix D) with the intention of having any dangers revealed to you. You will then observe the candles as they burn and take notice of how they burn or any marks they leave behind.
For example, if the candle designated for Money burns down clean, but the one designated Lov
e burns dirty, it could be a sign that someone is working against your relationship to break you up out of jealousy for your happiness or to take your partner from you. If you are single and do not wish to be, it could be a sign that someone has cursed your love life so that you remain alone and lonely.
If this is the case, you should then think about how your relationship has been going lately. Have you been having problems out of the ordinary? Has your partner been distant? Have you been fighting more often? If so, you might want to have a reading performed on your behalf to look into the situation more in depth. Even if you don't think anything out of the ordinary is wrong, it would be wise to do some work to strengthen and protect your relationship, as well as to cleanse yourself and your environment. The same goes for any area of your life where negativity is indicated.
The Egg Roll: A Rite of Spiritual Cleansing
Also known as a limpia or spiritual cleansing, the Egg Roll is a form of healing in the Curanderismo tradition in which a fresh raw egg is ritually passed over a person's body. In other cases, depending on the worker and what he or she has on hand, a limpia may be performed using smoke from a cigar, herbs, or branches from certain trees. The purpose of the ritual is to remove curses and blockages, take off negative spirits, and cure spiritual illnesses.
The Egg Roll can be performed by one individual for another, or it can be performed for one's self. During the procedure, the egg may or may not make physical contact with the individual's body. The worker may also make the sign of the cross over the individual's body at certain points in the procedure. As the egg is passed over the body, the worker and/or the individual will often pray either out loud or silently. The prayer may be a traditional prayer such as Psalm 23, The Apostle's Creed, or an extemporaneous one.
Secrets of a Sissy Boy: A Gay Grimoire of Modern Magic for Men Who Love Men and the Hags Who Worship Them Page 2
