Even on the fateful evening she’d gone to Jamal’s room to seduce him in her impossibly naïve way, she’d felt no physical anticipation, and yet in the space of the past few minutes she’d become more aware of herself and another man than she ever had been in her whole life. It was fast eclipsing the recent disastrous events.
She pushed away from the door and went to stand in front of the mirror; a soft light had come on automatically once she’d opened the door of the bathroom. She sighed deeply. When had she become so used to, or expected, such flippant luxuries?
She looked at her heavily made-up face and urgently wanted to feel clean again. As if she could get rid of the persona of Aneesa Adani, Bollywood’s darling. She released the clip which held the jewel that sat in the centre of her forehead and laid it down carefully and with warm water in the sink she bent and splashed it over her face.
After a few minutes though, she could see that it was going to take a lot more than water to wipe it all away. A sense of futility washed through her and also pain, to know the upheaval she was undoubtedly causing within her family. Jamal she wasn’t unduly concerned about; he would survive, especially now she knew he’d only seen her as a strategic pawn.
But her parents … they had deserved better. She could picture the disappointment and humiliation on their faces right now. They loved her so much, and while she knew they were proud of her success, she knew that they’d have been equally proud if she’d become a housewife and had babies. They’d always accepted her unconditionally and this is how she repaid them….
Emotion surged; Aneesa was unable to stop gut-wrenching sobs from rising upwards. She hadn’t really lost control yet, and the pressure of keeping it together nearly floored her now. She pulled at the bangles on her arms and rings on her fingers, uncaring of the pain as she ripped them off, dropping them to the counter. With shaking hands she untied the necklace from around her neck and it, too, fell under its own heavy weight.
Sobbing now in earnest, and with a sense of inner desperation mounting and anger at herself once again for having been so stupid and selfish, she tried ineffectually to wash the henna tattoo off her arms and hands, knowing that all the scrubbing in the world wouldn’t remove it, only the passing of time.
Just then a knock came on the door, and Sebastian’s voice saying, ‘Aneesa, are you all right in there?’
She couldn’t answer; the tears were streaming down her face now, streaking it with mascara. Her chest heaved with jerky sobs and she sagged back against the sink just as Sebastian opened the door, took one look and strode in.
She held out her dripping hands stupidly and looked up at him, struggling to regain control. ‘I ….I can’t get rid of the henna tattoo…. Do you have any idea what this means?’
Sebastian shook his head, looking grim. And gorgeous. Aneesa was aware of that even in this state.
She said brokenly, ‘It’s meant to symbolise my transition from innocence … except now I don’t even have a husband to seduce me! I’m going to be walking around with the physical mark of my shame for everyone to see for weeks!’
Sebastian just got a facecloth and wrung it out in the warm water. He came close and gently wiped at the trails of mascara running down Aneesa’s cheeks. She could feel the backs of his lower arms brush against her chest as he wiped her face, and in an instantaneous reaction, her nipples stiffened, pushing against the hard material of her bodice top. Her inner agitation died away as a wholly new tension entered her body, flooding her belly with a hot tingling awareness, a sensation of melting.
A taut stillness entered the air around them as Sebastian washed her face. He finally put the cloth down and took a towel, drying Aneesa’s hands.
Then he dropped the towel and brought his hands to Aneesa’s jaw, his thumbs brushing back and forth against her cheeks. She was barely breathing now, hypnotised by the blue glitter of his eyes, by the heady sense of expectation in the air, by his intensely masculine scent. She could see his jaw clench as if he was exerting some control and inwardly a hidden part of her trembled to think that he had to exert it because of her.
He didn’t step away; he didn’t take his hands from her jaw or face, and Aneesa felt like she was slowly being set on fire. Her gaze slipped down to his mouth and she ached to know how it would feel be to be kissed by him. She’d never been properly kissed by any man, thanks to her sheltered upbringing and then the even more sheltered world of being Jamal Kapoor Khan’s love interest, on and off the screen.
Sebastian’s virile masculinity wound around her like a spell, rendering her oblivious to everything but him and this moment in time. Making her forget everything.
He asked with a gruff voice, ‘What did you mean when you said your fiancé would only be concerned about his reputation?’
Aneesa blinked and welcomed his breaking of the seductive spell, but with that came the emotion surging again. Sebastian held her steady even when she felt one or two tears slip out, his thumbs merely catching them.
‘I couldn’t marry him. It would have been a lie. I could have done it if it was just for myself and to save my family from the shame … but he expected us to have children. And I couldn’t bear the thought of bringing a child into such a façade….’
Sebastian frowned. ‘What façade? What do you mean?’
Aneesa tried to look down but Sebastian tipped her chin back up, not letting her escape. And in all honesty there was a part of her aching to tell someone about what had happened. And who better than a practical stranger she’d never meet again?
‘Jamal is gay. His assistant has been his lover for years. Everyone knew apparently except me….’ Bitterness tinged her voice. ‘And I didn’t know because I was so wrapped up in myself, in believing that everyone loved me and that my life was all perfect. I only found out because I walked in on him and his lover a couple of days ago.
‘He wanted to marry to project an image of respectability. Homosexuality might be legal now but it’s still taboo here, especially in Bollywood. His career would be over if people found out. And I was the perfect fool for him to seduce….’
Aneesa avoided Sebastian’s eyes now, terrified she’d see his disgust and pity. But his hands just tightened on her jaw, tipping it up again so that she couldn’t avoid his gaze. There was no pity in his eyes, only an intense heat. She felt as if she were being scorched alive from the inside out and there was a curious ache in the pit of her belly, an ache she knew instinctively that only he could assuage.
Sebastian was unable to stop a visceral emotion from rising; her eyes were two huge almond-shaped pools of dark brown, long lashed and full of swirling emotions. ‘You’re so beautiful….’
The old Aneesa would have taken the compliment for granted. But now all she could think of to say was, ‘So are you.’
Sebastian let her face go but only to take her hand in his and lead her out of the bathroom.
Once in the living room again Aneesa tugged free of Sebastian’s grip. Instantly she felt bereft, but fear of the way this man was making her feel so instantly out of control made her panicky. As if she were on a runaway train going faster and faster. ‘I should really go. I can’t impose on you anymore.’
She saw something indefinable flash in his eyes but he just said laconically, ‘You’re ready to go out there and take on the fallout of the bride fleeing the most high-profile wedding of the year? The place will be swarming with press by now.’
Aneesa felt the blood drain from her face to remember what lay outside this suite and heard Sebastian curse softly. He came close again but she stopped him with a hand and then looked down as if momentarily mesmerised. She looked back up and tried to smile wryly. ‘Do you know that ever since I was a little girl I dreamt of the day I’d get married? I fantasised about the Mehendi ceremony. All of my cousins and female relations gathered to witness the drawing of the intricate henna design on my hands and feet … in preparation for my husband to discover on our wedding night.’
Her smile w
obbled. ‘And yet when it came to my wedding, I insisted on a top Bollywood make-up artist and wouldn’t let my female relatives have anything to do with it. At the last minute I tried to change it, but the make-up artist kicked up such a fuss that I couldn’t….’
It suddenly hit Aneesa then, the very real probability that she would not have a second chance to have the wedding night of her childhood dreams. No chance to make reparations with her relatives and do it properly.
An awful gaping emptiness wrenched her insides, the loss of a lifelong dream profound, even as she recognised that the wedding she’d just run from had been a million miles from the dream she’d visualised as a child anyway.
She looked at Sebastian and said huskily, ‘I’ll never have that first night with my husband.’ She gestured with a hand over her whole outfit. ‘This is all … wasted.’
Sebastian’s face was implacable, stern, and Aneesa could sense in that moment that he rarely lost control. And suddenly, Aneesa felt an overwhelming urge to see him lose that control. She had no idea where it was coming from but it was rising and gathering force within her.
Without even realising what she was doing she’d moved closer to Sebastian and she saw his eyes flare, bright blue. It emboldened something deep inside her. She blurted out without thinking, ‘I wish I’d met you … I wish that my first night could have been with you.’
Aneesa knew on some dim level the enormity of what she had said, but her heart had slowed to a steady deep beat, her blood was pooling low in her belly and her gaze dropped to Sebastian’s mouth. She was simply speaking the truth and couldn’t have held it back even if she’d wanted to.
Everything within Sebastian narrowed to this moment. Arousal so fierce that it was almost painful gripped him. Did she know what she was saying? Was she a virgin? That thought should be sending him running, fast, in the opposite direction.
But it wasn’t; it was having an even more incendiary effect on his blood. Aneesa was looking at his mouth, her lips parting, eyes glowing like dark jewels, and he couldn’t resist—he had to taste her, touch her. Kiss her.
Abruptly Aneesa tried to back away, the sudden dawning of realisation in her eyes, and her cheeks flushing with what had to be embarrassment. Registering her emotion made Sebastian feel inordinately protective. He reached for her and captured her easily, spanning two hands around her slim waist, bare under the drape of the sari, her skin satin soft.
Gently, yet with unmistakable remorselessness, he pulled her towards him and bent his head. Never before had he been so achingly aware of every small move, the delicious anticipation of kissing a woman for the first time.
Aneesa was powerless to resist Sebastian’s attraction. When he’d pulled her closer he had looked as if he wanted to consume her whole, and fire exploded along every vein in her body.
His mouth was so close now … Aneesa could feel her eyes flutter closed, the intensity of feelings within her almost unbearable. And then their breaths mingled, his firm mouth touched hers and she was lost in a heady world of sensation that obliterated all the pain and turmoil as effectively as if she’d just lost her memory.
The kiss started off slow and gentle, a sensual exploration that made her tremble all over. Sebastian’s hands moved up from her waist to hold her head loosely, fingers caressing her skull. She could feel her already unravelling hair coming loose.
He coaxed her lips apart and when she felt his tongue explore her open mouth to touch her tongue in an intimate caress, she gasped and fresh heat flooded into her belly, making her press her legs together when a pulse throbbed between them.
In a heartbeat the kiss became something much more primal and urgent. Sebastian struggled to hold back, but soon they were hurtling towards the brink of losing all control, faster than anything he’d experienced before.
Suddenly Aneesa wrenched her mouth away and surged back in Sebastian’s arms, cheeks high with colour. He could feel the jerky breaths making her chest rise and fall enticingly, and he knew that she had no idea how utterly sensual she was … and to think that her husband would not have appreciated this?
As he stood on the precipice of making a momentous decision—for there was no way he was letting Aneesa leave him now—he felt acutely vulnerable. For the first time someone stood before him and didn’t see the infamous Sebastian Wolfe of the scandalous Wolfe family. Nor the multimillionaire. She didn’t know his history. She had no expectation of him.
It had been a long time since anyone had shown any vulnerability in front of him. Women wanted him because he presented a pleasing physical package but more for his link to notoriety and his huge fortune.
Even his own mother hadn’t recognised him as her firstborn son since he’d been a child, due to her debilitating mental illness. She still, to this day, whenever she saw him, assumed he was her beloved Nathaniel, Sebastian’s younger and only full-blood brother. The fact that she didn’t recognise his brother either and hadn’t for years, despite her obsession with him, offered little comfort. Sebastian had ceased to exist for her long ago.
He’d seen his mother only two days before, in the UK, and even though he expected nothing less after all these years, it still hurt each time to be reminded that she’d chosen to favour another over him.
So to have this woman look at him now and really see him, and want him for just who he was as a man, as Sebastian, was heady. For a long time desire had been largely an intellectual thing for him; he couldn’t remember the last time he’d responded with such base carnality to any woman.
His hands tightened fractionally on her waist and to his intense satisfaction he saw her eyes dilate and the pulse at the base of her throat beat frantically. Her cheeks were still flushed. He had to bite back a groan of pure need. He took a breath and surprised himself by saying, ‘I don’t know you … yet I feel as if I’ve known you forever….’
Aneesa melted inside and felt a tremor run through her. She couldn’t break her gaze from his and just said huskily, ‘I know … me too. It’s … crazy.’
He lifted a hand to twine a loose tendril of long glossy hair around a finger and tugged her gently towards him. Aneesa all but fell back into his arms, and looked up, helpless to resist this vortex that was sucking them under.
His eyes were mesmerising, hypnotising. So when he said, ‘I’d like you to stay with me tonight … let me give you the experience you’ve been denied …’ her heart stopped for an infinitesimal moment.
CHAPTER THREE
ANEESA could barely breathe as it was, especially with his big hand on her waist. She’d been drenched in mortification ever since she’d so boldly all but begged him to kiss her. Even now she burned. But in truth, ever since she’d seen him in the shadows earlier, on some level she’d wished for this moment, not even knowing that she’d see him again. Not even knowing what she’d really wanted. And what she wanted now, with a fierce need, was him.
‘I …’ she began, and stopped. Was she really going to do this? Just throw caution to the wind? He subtly moved her so that her body was flush with his, so that she could feel his thighs against hers through the material of their clothes. When she felt a hard ridge she blushed even fiercer.
She stalled, trying with a desperate feeling of futility to cling onto some kind of sanity. ‘I don’t even know you….’ An insidious suspicion struck her and she pulled back slightly. ‘Do you do this often? I mean, it’s easy for you to just offer to take women to bed like this?’
He quirked a smile, a devastating smile. ‘I’ve never before met a woman and wanted her so badly that I’ve been aching to take her to bed within minutes of meeting her. Trust me. And trust that what’s happening between us isn’t usual for me on any level. Or, I think, you.’
Sebastian realised the import of what he was saying. It was true. He’d never been so overcome with a desire to bed a woman that he hadn’t been able to take her out one night and then seduce her the next, but here now with Aneesa … there was an urgency in his body he’d never fel
t before. It made him feel vulnerable enough to make boundaries clear from the outset. ‘What I’m proposing is that we have just this one night, where we can act on this desire. Explore it to its fullness. And you … can have your wedding night, not as you planned it … but in your own way.’
Aneesa looked at him and tried very hard to be rational. ‘You’re not just doing this out of pity?’
He smiled again and there was a touch of pain to it. He pulled her even closer so that now she could be in no doubt as to the extent of his arousal. She almost groaned aloud, a liquid heat invading her lower body, making her tremble.
‘Does that feel like pity to you?’
She shook her head dumbly, incapable of speech.
‘I wanted you from the moment I saw you arrive in that courtyard—that’s the truth. Your fiancé used you to suit his own ends … but you are an extremely desirable woman.’
He was effortlessly honing in on the insecurity she’d felt about herself as a woman for as long as Jamal had avoided making love to her. ‘I saw you in the shadows—I thought of you … just before I decided to run….’
His hands moved up from her waist, brushing the sides of her breasts until he cradled her jaw, fingers tunnelling through her unravelling hair, caressing her skull.
This was right. She felt it in every bone of her body. The primal urge to mate with this man was almost overwhelming. She wanted him to be her first lover. She was meant to be here with him, tonight. And in the days and weeks to come when she would have to deal with the consequences of her actions, she would be able to hug this secret moment to herself. Tonight would be the oasis in the storm to come. This was her chance to become a woman with a man who truly desired her—on what should have been her wedding night—and she wanted that experience more than she’d wanted anything in her life.
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