by Moira Rogers
Sasha gripped the coffee can so hard her fingers turned white. “Not that. Justine and Sam needed help, and we had no other options. I meant…” She turned away, and the can hit the counter with a metallic thud. “I shouldn’t have grabbed you the way I did back at the apartment.”
He was behind her without realizing he’d moved, driven to find some way to ease her distress. His hand shook a little as he touched her shoulder, just a light, careful brush of his fingers. “It’s okay. And I’m sorry I snapped at you.”
She tensed under his hand, and her heart raced. “I told myself I was kissing you so you would know that I wanted you. So you wouldn’t be surprised when I cast the spell.”
“Secrets are hard to keep around werewolves.” He let his hand rest on her upper arm and swiped his thumb lightly over her shoulder. “But you probably learned more about me than I did about you. It’s all a little fuzzy.”
“I want to do it again.” She finally turned to face him, her gaze focused on his mouth. “I know it’s a bad idea, and I want to kiss you anyway.”
It was wrong to be thinking about kissing her in Gavin’s kitchen with the faint scent of Cindy’s shampoo still on his fingers. It was wrong, and he was wrong, and it didn’t stop him from lifting his hand to touch her cheek. Her skin was warm and soft, and it was all too easy to remember how her lips had felt under his for the brief moment he’d given in and kissed her. Hungry, needy. Maybe a little unsure and a lot nervous, but those he could fix. Those he could—
His mouth was only inches from hers when someone cleared his throat. Loudly.
Dylan jerked back and silently cursed himself for being so fixated that he hadn’t heard Gavin’s footsteps. With Cindy there’d been no such problem; as intense as their conversation had been, he hadn’t been oblivious to the world around him.
Gavin sat at the table as Sasha grabbed the carafe from the coffee maker and rinsed it in the sink, her cheeks flaming. The alpha pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and stuck one in his mouth, though he didn’t light it. “There’s a vampire in Helena, a strong one, and we need to find out how to deal with that.”
At least I’m not getting a lecture. Even though he’d probably end up with one eventually, Dylan wasn’t going to question a temporary reprieve. He slid into the seat across from Gavin and turned his mind firmly away from Sasha and all thoughts of kissing her. “We found something in one of those books. About how a vampire and werewolf can work together. It would explain how Alan’s second got enough power to hold the pack. He was a lot weaker than Alan.”
“An old friend of mine could help, but I haven’t been able to get in touch with him.” Gavin tossed the cigarette on the table. “Adam isn’t much for modern methods of communication, but he’s too set in his ways to have moved. I need someone to go to Maine and—”
“I’ll go.” Sasha turned on the coffee maker and slung a dishtowel over her shoulder. “It might be better for everyone if I got out of town for a while.”
All of the pain that had been suspiciously absent during Cindy’s rejection hit Dylan in the gut. With interest. It made his next words too blunt and too raw. “That’s bullshit.”
“No, it isn’t.” She met his gaze steadily. “But I can’t go alone, Dylan. Can you come with me?”
Pain changed to pleasure with a speed that made him dizzy. He jerked his gaze back to Gavin and tried not to let it show in his voice. “Is there a catch?”
Gavin nodded once. “Adam lives near Bedagi Creek. It’s one of the sanctuaries, Irene and Lawrence’s place. They couldn’t make it to the summit, so I’m sending Joe and Brynn out to give them the short version.”
The thought of Brynn trying to challenge her way through a pack that didn’t live in terror of Joe’s ire was enough to make Dylan queasy. “Is Brynn ready for that? I don’t know if you heard, but she started a damn bar fight the other night.”
Gavin looked ill, as well. “She’s different from everyone else, just like—” He broke off and swore.
“Just like me. I know.” Sasha looked pale, and Dylan had to avert his eyes to keep from coming to his feet and snatching her up in a comforting hug.
“I’m sorry, Sasha.” The alpha rose and paced across the kitchen. “You haven’t earned this, but you have to understand what some of the wolves here have been through…”
“I do understand,” she said quickly. “When should I be ready to leave?”
“When should we be ready to leave?” Dylan corrected without looking at Sasha. If he saw the pain in her eyes that he thought he heard in her voice… You have got to get a grip, man. Get a fucking grip.
“Tomorrow.” Gavin’s face was creased with worry. “Brynn can’t fly, so the four of you will have to drive.”
It was one more bump in the road, one more task he had to complete before he could get his quiet life. So Dylan nodded. “Sasha and I can go over to the library and see if there are any books that might be good to bring. Or maybe not…is your friend a Lorekeeper?”
“No.” The coffee wasn’t finished brewing, but Gavin took a mug from the drain rack and filled it. “He’s a vampire.”
Chapter Four
Sasha folded one last shirt and tucked it into the open bag on the bed. She’d planned on going back to Gavin’s to gather her clothes, but she hadn’t realized just how many of her meager belongings had made their way to the small apartment over the bar. Everything she needed was there, and she didn’t want to think too much about what that really meant.
A deep, bracing breath gave her the courage to wander down the hall to the small library, where Dylan had been methodically sorting through texts and journals they might need for the trip. She leaned against the doorframe and allowed herself a few moments to watch the smooth flex of muscle under his T-shirt as he moved stacks of books into boxes. “I’ve finished packing. Need some help?”
He glanced up with a ready smile. “Can you remember which book we found that history of the Devil’s Half-Acre in? It was about vampires in New England, I think, but I can’t remember where it was.”
She closed her eyes and tried to recall. “It had a green cover with gold print, and the bottom part of the spine was torn.”
“Green cover, gold print… Green cov—aha!” When she opened her eyes he was holding up a book. “This one?”
“That one.” Her legs were shaking, so she eased a box out of the way and sat on the corner of the desk. “I never got the chance to tell you why kissing you is a bad idea.”
Dylan froze with the book still held aloft, and a brittle wariness filled his eyes. “I don’t think kissing me is ever a bad idea, but I could be biased.”
Her stomach twisted at his expression. She wanted to change the subject, run, or maybe even kiss him anyway, but she needed to be honest with him. “I’m not staying in Red Rock, Dylan. As soon as I’m square with everyone, I’ll be leaving.”
“Square with everyone?” He set the book on the table and watched her. “Jesus Christ, Sasha. Do you think you owe someone in this town something?”
“Yes.” She rubbed her arms to dispel her goose bumps. “Gavin and Sam. Keith. A-and you.”
Pain flashed in his eyes. “You saved Brynn and Keith. We owe you.”
“I’m not explaining this very well.” Nerves always made her clumsy, even in her speech. “It’s the old tradition, the one Maritza was teaching me. Keith saved my life, and I did the same for him. That’s the way it goes. But if my debts are left open, if they’re not repaid, like with you…” She struggled for words that would make him understand. “It doesn’t matter if you expect it, or even if you want it. Until we’re even, my life is yours.”
“Why do you think you owe me, Sasha?” The words were compassionate. “Because of the spell? I did that to help Gavin and Sam as much as to keep you safe. It’s nothing.”
She blinked at him, confused. “You killed Alan Matthews. You kept him from dragging me back to Helena, from—from doing the things he said he was going
to do to me. And I know you didn’t do it for me, but that doesn’t matter.”
Dylan moved around the table, every movement so careful he had to be trying not to startle her. He lifted his hands and cupped her cheeks. “You do not owe anyone for saving you from Alan Matthews. You were supposed to be safe here. You were supposed to be protected. He came here to hurt us, and you suffered for it. We owe you.”
His words relieved her of her debt, but Sasha had a hard time concentrating on them. His hands were warm on her skin, and he was so close… She laid her palm on his chest, and her own body responded to the strong, fast beating of his heart. “Dylan.”
“Shh.” His thumb swept over her lips. “Don’t go to Maine to pay off a debt. It could be dangerous, and you don’t need more danger. You deserve to be safe for a while.”
She couldn’t breathe, and her body throbbed. “Are you going?”
“If that’s what Gavin needs me to do.” His mouth was so close she could feel his breath. “He’s my alpha now.”
“Then quit trying to talk me out of it. I’m going too.” Sasha pulled him closer, her hands shaking. She didn’t mean to speak, but the words tumbled out anyway. “I can’t stop thinking about you.”
“Funny, I was thinking the same thing today.” His thumb drifted down to her chin, and he tilted her head back. “Can I kiss you? Even if it’s a bad idea?”
How could it ever be a bad idea? All she could remember was how it felt during the spell, being so intimately entwined with him. So she stared at his mouth and answered with a soft, pleading noise. “I want you inside me again.”
Dylan groaned and pressed his forehead to hers. “Jesus Christ, Sasha.” His fingers crept around the back of her head and sank into her hair, and then his mouth was on hers, slow but hot.
Sensation streaked through her, instant and undeniable. She tilted her head and arched against his chest, trying to deepen the kiss, and he responded with a low moan and a teasing swipe of his tongue along her lower lip.
One arm slid around her, and he picked her up. When he sank to the sofa, she wound up on his lap, her knees digging into the cushions on either side of him. The position made it easier to take control of the kiss, and she did, coaxing his lips apart to seek his tongue with hers.
She felt his fingers on her neck, and a soft growl rumbled up from his chest as his other hand settled at her lower back. He kissed her for several long moments before easing back to nip at her lower lip. “Kissing me isn’t so bad, is it?”
“I never said it was bad.” She bared her throat and rocked down against his hips as the hot pleasure inside her gathered into a gnawing hunger. “It’s really good.”
“Don’t sound surprised.” A tiny tug at the back of her neck and she felt his breath feathering over her chin. He dropped a kiss to her jaw, then another just under it. “I’m pretty damn good at kissing.”
Sasha shuddered, her entire body tight and aching. “I’m not surprised. I’m turned on.” She lifted her head and captured his mouth, this time in a demanding, almost rough kiss.
He met her aggression with a low noise and easy skill, but too soon he softened the kiss. His fingers crept under the edge of her shirt as his lips slid back to her chin, and this time farther to her throat. The wet warmth of his tongue tickled over her pulse. “I know you’re turned on. I can hear your heart.”
Longing shot through her, and she clutched his head to keep his mouth close to her skin. “I can feel yours.” It pounded under her hand, even harder than before, and Sasha wiggled, trying to ease the empty ache inside her.
“Fuck.” His fingers tightened on her hip at the same moment his teeth closed on the side of her neck. He released her after a moment and rested his forehead on her shoulder with a low moan. “Okay, the wiggling is going to kill me.”
Not moving was killing her, but she stilled and feathered a trail of kisses over his cheek to his neck. “I’ll stop if you promise to keep kissing me.”
Warm lips brushed her temple as his hand swept higher under her shirt. His fingers rubbed lazy figure eights over her back, and he chuckled. “I’m going to keep kissing you until you tell me I can’t.”
Cool air on the bare skin of her lower back broke the sensual haze, and she tensed. He had no idea that the flesh under her clothes was as scarred as her face, but he’d find out soon enough if he kept tracing his hands over her.
“No.” Sasha jerked her shirt down and scrambled off his lap. Again, she couldn’t breathe, this time from rising panic instead of passion. It would be unmistakable, the rage and pity in his eyes, and she couldn’t bear to see it.
He froze with his hands out at his sides. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” The lie was automatic. Sasha wrapped her arms around her midsection and backed away. “I need to go.”
“I’m sorry. Don’t go. I’ll call someone to come walk you home.”
“I don’t—” It wasn’t fair to let him think he’d done something wrong when the problem was hers. “It’s not you, Dylan.”
“The attack?”
Of course he’d have already thought of it. Her cheeks burned, and she tugged her shirt over her head before she could think better of it.
Dylan’s gaze drifted from her face to her shoulders and then her torso. She watched his eyes move as he studied the scars on her body.
He didn’t say a word. Instead he slid from the couch to his knees and turned his back on her as he removed his own shirt.
He had scars too, raised ridges of flesh across his left shoulder and down his back. Sasha moved before she realized it, sinking to her knees behind him. She shivered and brushed her fingertips across one prominent line. “What did they do?”
“Most things don’t leave scars.” His voice was no more than a hoarse whisper. “But if they want you to remember, they use magical weapons. Like the one Keith got stabbed with.”
His skin was hot under her hands, and against her chest when she slipped her arms around him. “You hurt so much.” She could barely speak past the lump of pain in her throat. “I want to make it stop.”
He covered her hands with his. “Now you know how I feel. I don’t want you to hurt.”
“My scars are all on the outside.” She kissed the spot between his ear and his jaw. “But you can’t see most of yours, can you?”
“I don’t know. They may not be visible, but seems like a lot of people see them.” He turned his head just enough for her forehead to rest against his cheek. “Cindy’s not angry with you, you know. She’ll never admit it, but she’s glad. Now she doesn’t have to figure out how to get rid of me.”
It was unthinkable, that any woman would want to be rid of him. “I’m worried about you, not Cindy.”
“I’ll be fine. I always am.”
The words were practiced and hollow. “You’ll survive, because you always do. But are you really fine?”
He exhaled softly. “Honestly, they’ve meant the same thing for a long time.”
Pain twisted in her again, and tears burned her eyes as she hugged him more tightly. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s all right, Sasha.” He turned enough to put his back to the couch and held out his arms. “Can I hold you for a few minutes?”
She hurried into his lap and buried her face in his neck, unable to silence her relieved moan. “I need this.” To be comforted, protected. Safe.
He smoothed his fingers through her hair as his other arm cradled her against him. “Me too. In Helena, I couldn’t get close to people without putting them in danger. I’ve missed it.”
She realized with a start that, though her arousal had subsided, she still wanted to stay close to him, even if it meant he thought of her as weak and fragile. “I didn’t mean to upset you before.”
“When?”
Sasha groaned and closed her eyes. “If I’ve upset you so many times you don’t know what I’m talking about, I need to apologize more.”
His fingers slid through her hair as he chuckled.
“You haven’t really upset me at all.”
“At Gavin’s house. You thought I offered to go because I wanted to get away.”
“Oh.” Another slow pass of his hand, but this time it settled on her shoulder. “I wouldn’t blame you. Life hasn’t been easy for you here. You deserve better. I wish I could make it better.”
You have. She bit back the words and concentrated on the warm weight of his hand on her skin. “There has to be a place for me. Just haven’t found it yet.”
“Shh.” Dylan’s fingers settled under her chin and he tilted her head up. His thumb swiped over her cheek, and it was only then that she realized she was crying. “When we get back from Maine, I’ll help you look.”
Mortification trumped her desire to stay in his arms. She crawled out of his lap and reached for her shirt. “If we’re leaving so soon, I have a few more things to do.”
Dylan rose to his knees and gathered up his own shirt. “And I have to go over to Joe’s place. Do you want me to wait and walk you back to Gavin’s?”
She’d rather have her breakdown in private. “No, I’ll be okay. Later.”
But Dylan frowned. “There are a few more things in the library to pack up. Do you think you could do that? Gavin can probably stop by on his way back from Joe’s.”
“I can handle it, Dylan.” The lump in her throat grew. “Please stop.”
“Sorry.” He tugged the shirt over his head and ran his fingers through his disheveled hair in an attempt to smooth it. Every line of his body was tense as he started for the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow then. If you need— Have a good night.”
Even her bruised pride couldn’t stop her words. “Thank you for everything. It means a lot.”
He glanced back at her, his hand on the doorknob. The look that crept into his eyes was that of a lover, warm and full of promise with just a hint of challenge. “It’s my pleasure.”
Sasha was shaking when the door closed behind him. She’d been so sure his attraction to her was one of instinct, of the pleasure derived from taking care of someone who needed him. But if he felt more for her than protectiveness…
