by TJ Klune
“Yes,” he said, eyes flashing.
“Guess what I have,” I said, smiling at him.
“What?”
“A dragon,” I snapped and said, “Kevin! Now!”
I grinned and prepared for my friends (who were obviously listening in and waiting for me to give an awesome new catchphrase that I did like a boss) to burst through the trees and stand united against the Dark. Kevin would roar and fire would burst from between his teeth. Tiggy would smash his fists together and Gary would be shining in so much fucking glitter. It was going to be awesome.
And so, of course, nothing happened.
Wan looked at me warily. “What?”
“Sorry,” I said. “Probably just a delay. Give it a minute.”
We gave it a minute. Still nothing.
“Let’s try it again,” I suggested.
“Try what?”
“The whole I have a dragon thing,” I said. “It’ll work this time.”
“You have a dragon,” Wan said, sounding dubious.
“Yeah,” I said. “Well, sort of. I think he’s trying to be my dad now, which is weird.”
“What?”
“I know, right?” I looked over my shoulder. Absolutely nothing. “So, blah, blah, blah. Guess what I have. A DRAGON!”
My voice echoed in the trees.
Nothing.
“For real?” I muttered. “Gods. Those assholes.” I looked back at Wan. “Hold on just a second, okay? If he doesn’t come, we can duel to the death or whatever.”
“You’re so weird,” he said.
I grinned. “Thanks.” Then, “KEVIN!”
“Yeah?” he finally called back through the trees.
“Can you come here, please?”
“Kind of busy, buddy.”
“I’m not your buddy because you aren’t even my real dad!”
“Sam,” Gary called out. “That was mean. Say you’re sorry.”
“No!”
“Don’t make me come over there,” Gary warned.
“Gary, it’s fine,” Kevin said. “He just needs time to adjust.”
“Sorry about this,” I told Wan. “They have been in a monogamous relationship for nine days and apparently, two magical creatures together like that suddenly start acting like lesbian albatrosses and mate for life or something.”
“Lesbian albatrosses,” Wan repeated.
“You know, the birds? Notorious for monogamy and life partners. Like lesbians. I don’t know. My life, right?”
Wan said, “How are you even a real person?”
I shrugged and said, “My parents boned and then I came out. How is anyone a real person? Boning. KEVIN, GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE.”
“Gods,” I heard Gary complain loudly. “It’s like puberty with him all over again.”
“We’ll get through it,” Kevin rumbled, and I finally heard them start moving into the woods. “He can’t be a dick to us for long. I’ll tan his hide and maybe suck on his cock a little.”
“So gross,” I muttered. I looked up at Wan. “Don’t listen to him. He’s not my dad and he doesn’t blow me.”
“I don’t even know what to think,” Wan said.
I sighed. “I get that a lot. Okay, get ready.”
“For what?”
“The whole catchphrase and awesome entrance thing. I’m not going to waste it just because Kevin is an asshole.”
“I heard that!”
“You were meant to,” I called back.
“Why is the ground shaking?” Wan asked. “And why does it sound like trees are breaking?”
“Don’t worry about it,” I said. “Just be ready to do your line.”
“I think I’m going to go,” Wan said, eyes wide.
“Oh, come on,” I said. “Don’t be like that.”
“No, it’s okay,” he said. “I’m sorry I wasted your time. Please don’t hurt me.”
I rolled my eyes. “You Darks are a bunch of pussies,” I said, and he snarled at me.
“You really want to mess with the powers of the Dark?” he growled.
“Wow,” I said. “That was actually ominous and cool. I’m into this. Okay.” I popped my neck and took a stance. I glared at him, curling my lip. “You may be the Dark, but I am the apprentice to Morgan of Shadows. I am Sam of Wilds, and I will kick your fucking ass.” And then a breeze came and my clothes started billowing. It was amazing.
“I suppose we can do this,” Wan said, raising his hands.
“Yeah,” I said. “Well, I’ve got a dragon. Dammit! That didn’t sound right. What the fuck, Wan? You had one job. Heh. Or you had wan job. Awesome.”
Then Kevin, Gary, and Tiggy came up from behind me and Wan screamed in such a way that he totally lost all his goatee cool points. He turned and ran farther into the Dark Woods. I shook my head.
“What was that all about?” Gary asked.
“You guys need to work on your timing,” I said. “Never again. I had the perfect setup with a cool line and a whole lot of epicness going on with the billowing, and you all just killed it.”
I stalked away from them, muttering about how the help was never prepared when I needed them to be.
THE TWENTY-FIFTH day sucked because I missed Ryan something awful. Gary and Tiggy held me close as Kevin kept watch.
My heart was hurting.
THE TWENTY-SIXTH day I was angry.
THE TWENTY-SIXTH night, I was hurt and angry and made a really stupid decision.
THE THIRTIETH day found me back in Meridian City.
I left Gary, Tiggy, and Kevin on the outskirts. We’d passed through Old Clearing, and sure enough, the missing people had returned, telling stories of being kidnapped by a ruthless cult and fed more corn than they’d ever eaten in their lives. Of course, once they saw Kevin, they started shrieking, sure he was back to eat them this time. He assured them he would never do such a thing, that it went against his code (and his stomach), but this only proceeded to freak everyone out more, because dragons weren’t supposed to talk.
We left Old Clearing rather quickly after that.
Not a huge loss, really.
But I made sure we stopped in Meridian City. Gary had asked me if I was sure, as if he knew what my plan was. Instead of answering, I told him I wouldn’t be long.
“Sure,” he’d said sadly.
And that’s how I found myself once again standing in front of the Tilted Cross, Mama’s medallion in my hand, smiling quietly at the bouncer at the front. It wasn’t the same one as last time, but that was okay. He saw the medallion, nodded once, and opened the door for me.
There was a beautiful woman at the front desk, one that’d I’d never seen before. But she knew who I was from the way her eyes widened slightly before she smiled wickedly.
“Welcome to Mama’s,” she all but purred.
I said, “I need to see Moishe.”
The smile faded slightly. “Oh? Conversation?”
I cocked my head at her. “Services.”
“Hmm. I don’t know if he does that anymore.”
“He will if he knows it’s me.”
“Will he, now?”
“Magic has a taste,” I said, leaning closer to her. She shuddered slightly as my breath fell on her cheek. “Or so he says. He wants it on his tongue. And I aim to give it to him.”
“The great Sam of Wilds. How lucky he must be.” She nodded and took a step back. “It’ll be just a moment.” She was up the stairs and out of sight before I could say anything more.
Mama’s boys whispered quietly to one another as they watched me. Undoubtedly they’d overheard my conversation with the girl. They knew of Moishe’s fascination with me. It was not a love thing, or even a like thing. It was, for lack of a better word, about lust. Though I didn’t think it was for me personally. If Ryan had a magic kink, then Moishe had a power kink. I had both in spades. What better way to destroy my virginity than with someone who wanted what I had.
Or, at least, that was the plan.
“You foolish, foolish boy,” Mama growled from behind me.
I rolled my eyes and turned around. “Figured you’d get here first.”
She looked beautiful, as always. A long, onyx wig fell around her shoulders and back. Kohl-lined eyes, smoky and thick. Deep red lipstick, sticky and sweet. Her nails were short and black, the illusion of breasts cinched tight in a black and red corset. She wore knee-high riding boots over skintight silk leggings. She held a crop in one hand, smacking the leather against her other. She looked like she was going horseback riding. Sexy horseback riding.
She jerked the end of the crop under my chin, forcing me to look up into her eyes. The leather scraped against my skin. “What are you doing here, Sam?”
“I didn’t ask for you.”
“No. You didn’t. But this is my establishment, and you should know better than anyone that whatever happens under this roof, Mama knows. Now. I’ll ask one more time, because we’re friends and I love you very much. You will answer me truthfully, or I’ll tan your hide in front of my boys and you will like it.” She dropped the crop from my face and reached out with a large hand, grabbing me by the wrist. She pulled me into a room where two twinks were sitting in front of a mirror, applying blush to their cheeks.
“Babies,” she said, voice soft and kind. “Mama needs the room. You can use the mirror at the end of the hall to finish up.”
“Yes, Mama,” they both said, eyeing me curiously before leaving. Mama closed the door behind them.
“That’s how rumors start,” I told her. “They’re going to tell everyone you’ve become a working girl again.”
“Ah,” she said. “Like I would actually charge you for anything.”
I grinned at her as I leaned against the wall, crossing my arms over my chest. “You love me.”
“I do, though I am having a difficult time remembering why just now.” She sat on the recently vacated stool in front of the mirror and looked at her reflection. She brought a perfectly manicured pinkie up and brushed it across her lips, brushing away a flake of lipstick.
“Mama. It’s not—”
“Cut the bullshit, Sam.” Her eyes found mine in the mirror’s reflection.
Fine. I could do that. “I’m here for Moishe.”
“I gathered as much when Natasha came into my office and told me.”
“Natasha has a big fucking mouth,” I muttered.
“Where is your knight?” she asked.
“He’s not my knight.”
Mama rolled her eyes elegantly, because she could be no other way. “Hogwash and poppycock, that. He belongs to you more than he belongs to anyone else. He is your cornerstone after all.”
I narrowed my eyes. “And just how the hell did you know that?”
She picked up a makeup brush from the vanity and brushed it under her eyes. “Didn’t know for sure until right this moment. I suspected, but confirmation is always better.”
“How do you know what a cornerstone is?”
She laughed. “Precious, I’m Mama. I know everything.”
“Then you’ll know he swore an oath to the Prince,” I said. “An oath that binds him into marriage.”
She sighed. “No. I didn’t know that.”
“It doesn’t matter. I rescued Justin, now have a pet dragon father who licks Gary’s butthole, and will be forced to attend the wedding of the century.” I grimaced. “You know, I usually don’t complain this much.”
“A pet dragon father,” she said, lips twitching.
“Yeah. Apparently I can talk to dragons. Or, rather, dragons can speak Veranian if I’m near. Magic is the shit, you know?”
“If I didn’t have the Tilted Cross to worry about, I’d be following you wherever you went,” she said. “The things you’ve seen and done fill my cold, crusty heart with adoration and envy.”
“There’s nothing cold and crusty about you,” I said dutifully. And because there wasn’t.
“I suppose not,” she said. “The gods know I’m not getting any younger.”
“And notice how polite I’m being by not asking the lady her age, even if she’s given me an obvious in.”
She gave me a shark’s smile. “How lucky you have practiced restraint. I’d hate to see what you’d look like without testicles.”
And so because I loved her, I told her everything. About the cornerstone business. About Ryan. About being force-fed coercion through corn. About cults and fairies and rescuing princes from ancient keeps. By the time I finished, my voice was hoarse and my heart was sore.
She was quiet for a time. Then, “Drowning in someone’s skin will not help you forget the other.”
I shrugged. “At least I’ll feel wanted.”
She turned to me then and stood. She reached out for me, her hands cupping my face, and I leaned against her touch. Regardless of how ruthless she could be, regardless of her own claims of being cold-hearted, she was still Mama to me. My fairy drag mother. The woman who had taught me to trust myself and my instincts. Morgan could teach me magic. My parents could teach me morals. Gary and Tiggy could teach me brotherhood. But Mama taught me that while life had sharp edges, it would only cut you if you allowed it to.
She said, “You are wanted. The heart that beats in your chest is the most wonderful thing I’ve ever been witness to. It hurts, precious. I know it does. But like all things, it shall pass and you will be all that much stronger because of it.”
I hugged her then. She made a surprised noise at the back of her throat as this wasn’t something she typically did. With anyone. But I was a hugger and she was my friend. Her arms came around me tentatively, her hands clasping at my back. She smelled of vanilla and clove. It was lovely.
She left, after a time.
Moments later, there was a knock at the door.
I opened it.
Moishe looked me up and down.
“Wizard,” he said, his voice full of sex and magic. “I heard you asked for me. How may I be of service?”
I grabbed him by the collar and pulled him into the room, slamming the door behind us.
Later, I walked through Meridian City toward the gates.
I passed by a newsboy shouting out the headlines.
“THE GOOD KING ANNOUNCES ROYAL WEDDING IMMINENT! PRINCE JUSTIN TO WED KNIGHT COMMANDER RYAN FOXHEART IN A MONTH’S TIME! READ ABOUT IT HERE FIRST! THE WEDDING OF THE CENTURY IS UPON US!”
CHAPTER 26
Homecoming
I WASN’T surprised to find Morgan of Shadows waiting for us a mile outside of the City of Lockes, even though I hadn’t spoken to him in days. The traffic on the Old Road had gotten heavier as we approached the city, and people continued to give us a wide berth, eyeing Kevin warily as he smiled at them, showing way too many teeth for anyone to feel comfortable around him.
One minute I was fighting the urge to run for the city gates that I could see on the horizon, and the next I felt a wave of peace wash over me. I took a stuttering step, stopped. Took a breath. Let it out slowly.
The crowd parted before us and there he stood.
Maybe I should have been embarrassed by my actions. Maybe I should have shown the slightest bit of decorum. I was the apprentice to the King’s Wizard, after all.
But fuck that. I hadn’t seen my mentor in almost three months. I’d faced things I’d never seen before. I’d been loved and broken. I’d eaten a shitload of corn laced with a truth serum.
So I don’t know that I can be blamed for running full speed at him. I don’t know that I can be blamed for the way my eyes burned when he smiled widely and opened his arms. I don’t know that I can be blamed for the sound I made, that broken, wounded noise that crawled out of my throat when his arms wrapped around me. I felt his magic wash over me, and for the first time in weeks, I thought I was able to breathe. I let my forehead rest in the crook of his neck as he held me tightly.
He said, “I know. I know.”
Because he d
id. He knew. He’d missed me as much as I’d missed him. This was the man who had rescued me from the slums with his pink shoes and exploding nipples. The man who had allowed my parents to follow us to the castle. The man who saw fit to give us a better life than our station dictated.
But most of all, he knew because he was my friend. One of my very first.
He knew how much I was hurting.
He knew what it’d cost me.
He said, “I am so very happy to have you home.”
I nodded against his neck, not trusting myself yet to speak.
He said, “Your parents will be so thrilled. They have missed you so.”
He said, “The King will never let you out of his sight again.”
He said, “You’ve gone into the wilds and brought back a dragon. How unexpected. And how so very like you.”
He said, “Hush, little one. Don’t be sad.”
He said, “I know, Sam. I know. But you must listen.”
He said, “The Prince and Ryan arrived home two weeks ago.”
He said, “They returned without incident on horseback to make up time on the road home.”
He said, “Justin requested the wedding happen immediately.”
He said, “The King wanted to wait for you.”
He said, “The Prince agreed, but only just.”
He said, “So I must ask of you the hardest task I’ve laid at your feet. You must be brave and strong and stand by my side at the wedding. You must honor your future king and the choices made, though your heart may be breaking. But you will never stand alone, because I will always be by your side. And once this impossible task I have asked of you is complete, I will take you away and we will see what we see.”
He pushed my head up with his kind hands and brushed the tears from my cheeks with his thumbs. His eyes were warm, and I could see the love he felt for me on his face. And I loved this man too. More than I could say.
Morgan of Shadows said, “Can you do this, Sam of Wilds?”
And I said, “Yes,” even though it felt like a lie.
He kissed my forehead, and I was home.
