Blinking to clear my vision, I fight to do as he says. Styx told me he can see a person’s soul in their eyes. That he saw mine the day we met. I guess maybe I saw his, too. I just didn’t know it then.
I know it now. When our gazes collide, the golden warmth of his swallows me whole. I relax, slowly, so slowly, as he eases deeper, keeping his promise to finish the deed properly.
All at once, the pressure eases. I’m still too hot there, too tender, but . . .
Styx is inside me.
Styx.
Is.
Inside.
Me.
At last.
“Oh,” she says in a small voice as her eyes go wide. “Oh.”
There’s no describing this. No words in this realm or any other for the way it feels to be inside the woman I love at last.
I don’t think I’m capable of stopping, I really don’t. She’s pushed the beast to the breaking point now. There is a reason the legends talk about Fenrir being insatiable. This is the way of my kind; our power can never be satisfied. Or so the story goes.
He snaps and snarls at the few remaining tethers holding him back from devouring everything of the woman beneath me.
The Fetters still lock one of my arms to the bed, but all I have to do is . . .
No.
I fight to keep control. Breathe. Don’t hurt her.
You already are. The beast’s laugh is raucous inside of me, salivating for more, as he rips up the earth and lake outside the cabin, using my power to wreck havoc without and within. My body is covered in sweat, every muscle taut and aching from holding him back.
I can hear the waves slamming hard against the cliff walls far below, hear the storm swirling within and without.
I have to stop. Right fucking now.
“No,” she breathes as if reading my mind, her small hands finding my ass, then her nails digging in as she lifts her hips, forcing me deeper into paradise. “No, I don’t want you to stop, Styx. You promised. I want more. All of it. All of you.”
With a guttural snarl, I take her at her word, pulling half out of her just to slide deep again in one swift thrust. Her whole body arches up and I hate myself for how good it feels, especially when I see the remnants of tears in her eyes. But then she’s laughing.
Laughing.
Her hand cups my jaw, pulling me down to her mouth. “I’ve been waiting so long for this feeling. I was worried it wouldn’t live up to the hype. But, this is awesome.” Her eyes are wide and full of breathless wonder. “Having you inside me is better than the smell of new paints, better than WoW, better than . . .”
“Blueberry pancakes?” I suggest, allowing my lips to twitch as the beast snarls once before curling back into himself, allowing me to win this round.
“Hey now. Don’t get cocky.” She laughs again, but then I move my hips and the sound turns into a gasp. I’m balls-deep in the woman I love for the first time and she’s crying and laughing and it’s all fucking insane, but it’s perfect.
Fucking perfect.
I slide back and forth, just a few inches at a time, letting us both get used to the feel of each other. Though I’m not sure that is ever going to happen. How the fuck do you get used to heaven?
She’s so tight and slick and beautiful. Every movement of my hips has her fingers digging into my skin, her eyes fixed on my face, the vibrant blue-green hazed with pleasure.
“Faster, Styx.” The raw need in her voice undoes me. “I want it all. Don’t hold back. Give me everything.”
Fuck. Groaning, I cup her ass in one hand and lift her up, keeping our bodies fused together until she’s straddling me once again. Her eyes flick to the Fetters on the bedpost, but I shake my head. “No. Don’t even think about it. I think I’m okay now. But just . . . don’t.”
“Okay,” she whispers, dropping her hands to my chest and squirming. “Now what?”
“Hold on,” I mutter. Her eyes wide, her fingers slide up to clutch obediently at my shoulders. I keep my hand on her ass, squeezing the firm warm flesh as I thrust and circle my hips at the same time. A tremor slides through her body and in front of my eyes, those delicious pink nipples start to tighten and swell.
I smile and do it again.
Her head falls back, the long curls brushing my fingers on her ass, that lush body twisting in my arms as she cries out. Then she starts to move with me. The wind howls outside, as ravenous as the beast inside me. I hear trees being uprooted, boulders falling into the raging water, but I don’t let him touch her.
Carly is lost to the rhythm between us. I’ve never imagined her face like this. Never dared to visualize what she’d look like in the throes of passion.
It’s blinding. Her body is made for this, flowing in curves of pink and pale gold, her freckles a delightful cascade over skin that gleams with sweat.
I know she’s close. I slide my hand from her ass, trusting her to keep the pace we’ve set. My knuckles run over the softness of her belly, feeling the muscles beneath contract at my touch. Then my hand is between her legs.
It almost sets me off. Not just the wetness and the heat, but feeling where we’re joined together, the slide and push and pull. My hand starts to shake, but I find my target through the slick sweetness of her. She jolts when my thumb runs over her clit, almost losing our rhythm, then my hips snap up and with a moan, she finds it again.
But she’s shaking now. Shaking and looking at me as her hair flies around us in a rose-gold storm. I’m lost to the beauty of her, to the feel of her, inside and out. Outside the cabin the fury of my beast begins to scream until I finally realize it for the agony it is.
The truth hits me all at once. Like a white-hot bolt at the base of my spine, making me gasp as the Fetters lock tighter around my wrist.
I have to stop fighting myself and give Carly all of me. Even the part that I fear the most. Holding back isn’t what’s keeping her safe, it’s what’s putting her in danger. Just like I told her, the beast isn’t simply a side of me. It is me.
So I do the only thing I can.
I let go.
The storm outside ceases as if someone hit a switch. In the sudden quiet, her release floods my fingers and my cock. The sensation is unbearable and the single most arousing thing I’ve felt in my entire life. With a growl from the beast I don’t even try to contain, I fasten my wet hand on her hip and drive up through the almost painful force of the pulses rippling inside her. Then I’m lost.
And it feels so good.
Fuck yes.
Fuck.
Yes.
21
Contentment is not a natural state for me. I’m always hungry, always restless, always seeking more. Utter satiety is a new experience. Maybe that’s what wakes me up. Or the lack of warmth and soft skin beside me. The faint memory of lips brushing my cheek. A soft sob.
I must have imagined that. With a smile on my face, I roll over.
Or try to.
With a reluctant grunt, my eyes open.
The knots, loose last night, are taut and digging into my skin. Not just one hand is tied to the bedpost, but my other hand is bound as well, and just as tightly as the other. Looks like Carly found a better wikiHow. Maybe she doesn’t realize we no longer need the Fetters, though it might be fun to pretend one last time.
I grin sleepily. “Ready for round two?”
When she doesn’t immediately answer, I lift my head off the pillow to see her at the foot of the bed. She’s fully dressed, turned half away from me.
“Carly?”
She flinches at the sound of my voice, then steps into her boots without looking at me.
I frown.
“Carly,” I say, louder now, trying to sit up. “Where’re you going?”
Her head bows, that mane of red-gold still mussed from last night and effectively hiding her expression from me. My shoulders go taut, tightening the restraints as cold unease crawls down my spine.
Unease that turns into blind panic as she turns and holds
out her hand, her fingers uncurling to reveal the tiny gold bottle in her palm. “I have to go.”
I stare at it, unable to comprehend. Unwilling to comprehend.
“Loki came to me last night to tell me he has my mother,” she says softly. “To get her back, he wants me to take this to Hel.”
“You can’t do that, Carly.”
“I made a vow. I also promised to delay you coming after me by any means necessary.”
Fear tightens icy cold fingers in my gut. “We’ll figure a way to get Oriane back, okay? I swear we will. Just—”
“There’s no time. He only gave me until sunrise.”
I laugh, but it’s a shaky, cold and terrified thing. “But it won’t work. You’re not me. You can’t walk into Hel. No one living can.”
“See that’s the thing, he thinks I can. Because you love me.”
“No,” I roar, bringing dust down from the rafters.
There is no real limit to my strength, to the power I can command, but no amount of swearing strain and manic effort can move those bonds. Not even an inch. The beast inside me chuffs softly in sympathy at my utter helplessness.
“Don’t look at me like that,” she whispers when I finally quiet.
“How the fuck am I supposed to look at you? How could you do this, Carly?”
She shivers at the raw fury in my tone but shrugs into her coat. Fastening it one button at a time, her hands starting to shake as I growl and spit and curse at her. I can’t wrap my head around this. Carly betraying me. Seducing me so I’d agree to be tied up.
This can’t be happening. I’m stuck in some absurdly cruel dream.
When she reaches for the door handle, I go utterly still, my body covered in cooling sweat, heart pounding. Because it doesn’t matter what she did or why she did it, I love her. I love her so fucking much. “Carly,” I whisper. “Don’t go. Baby, please. You’ll die.”
She bows her head without turning around. “You always said I was stronger than anyone realized.”
“You are.” But I choke on the last word, because I’ve never been so scared in my life.
“Then you need to trust me to be strong. To be capable. To be the woman that you see. Unless you were lying.” She lifts her head and looks at me over her shoulder. That quiet look slices me right in two.
“I wasn’t lying.” My breathing is ragged. Every word hurts. “But this . . . it’s too fucking much. For anyone, baby. Not just you.”
“Let’s hope you’re wrong.” She looks at me with tears in her eyes. “I love you, Styx. G—”
“Don’t say goodbye,” I snarl, starting to tear at the Fetters again, knowing it will do no good, that the magic holds me fast, but needing to do something. “Don’t you fucking say it.”
I planned to be the one to leave. When it needed to be done, I was going to do it. Now it hits me that I never could have been that strong. Never could have been this cruel. Not to her.
But she can do it to me. Carly can leave me here, unable to follow, unable to stop her from doing the one thing that is sure to tear us apart forever. This whole situation is twisted and wrong and I can’t take it.
I fucking can’t.
She swallows. I watch her fingers tighten on the door handle again, every muscle in my body bunched and screaming with the effort to hold her here with sheer force of will. “Tyr will be here soon,” she says with a tremulous smile. “He’ll set you free.”
“It’ll be too late by then.” I push the words through clenched teeth.
“It’s never too late, Styx.”
She blows me a kiss and the perfect trust in her eyes makes me slump back against the headboard, only closing my burning eyes when she vanishes from sight.
The door clicks shut, the soft sound like a death knell.
I can’t breathe as I walk out of the cabin. The roar of anguish that follows my exit sends me briefly to my knees.
Icy mud soaks my jeans as I bow my head and try to focus on what must be done.
I didn’t have a choice. Loki made sure of that.
The last part of our conversation drifts through my head.
He loves you. That means he’s already given you his power. You can walk between worlds. I don’t need him. Just you.
What if you’re wrong?
Then you die and Styx destroys the realms anyway. Win, win.
The words ring in my head as I force myself to my feet.
Loki waits exactly where we agreed, standing unperturbed in the softly falling rain. He walks beside me for a minute in silence.
Then the son of a bitch just can’t help himself. “How’d he take it?”
Surprisingly enough, when I glance over, the god looks almost sympathetic. It irritates me. “He’ll get over it.”
“You sure about that?” He raises an eyebrow and looks at the destruction around us. “Look what he did when he was happy with you. At least I’m assuming he was happy?” He gives me a sly look.
My shoulders stiffen. “That is none of your business. Now where do I have to go?”
With a low whistle, he waves a hand at the lake before us, the one rolling with massive grey waves as tall as small mountains. “The way to Hel lies through water. Just visualize the gate and you’ll get there. Eventually. And you’re not taking anything with you but the Eitr. You can go in naked.” He sneers. “I won’t chance you bringing spellwork or some other crap.”
Oh yay. Lake Superior is not exactly made for skinny-dipping, even in the best of weather. Right now, it looks like it wants to eat me alive and spit out the bones.
“I’m not doing this in front of you.”
Loki rolls his eyes and leans close. “News flash, darling. I’m a god. I’ve seen it all before.”
I put my hands on my hips and glare at him. He sighs. “Fine. Fine. My advice, do it quickly.” Loki’s smile deepens to one of pure evil. “I doubt even Styx’s power will save you indefinitely. Your soul isn’t nearly as powerful as his.”
I look at the god, then up at the hill, and suddenly my courage fails me.
“How long do you think I have?”
The god of chaos shrugs. “A few days, a few hours. Minutes. Hard to say. So don’t get distracted.”
He only laughs when I flip him off, then he disappears, leaving a trail of purple mist creeping along the ground.
I send a text to Tyr, then waste half a minute debating whether to send one to anyone else. Then I shrug. They know I love them. What else is there to say, really?
I walk into the water as the sky begins to turn pink, glad it’s August but shivering nonetheless.
Liquid ice.
I can still feel the heat of Styx inside me, the ache of his body in mine. I hold on to that feeling as I step deeper into the cold grey water.
Right before it closes over my head, I turn and look back one last time at the soft glow of the cabin lights on the hill. Then I dive beneath the frigid grey waves, the bottle clutched in one hand.
Just after dawn, the door opens. The assassin steps warily to my side.
“You wearing anything under that sheet?”
I growl.
“Just to be clear,” he says before reaching for the knots, “I was not a part of this, whatever the fuck this is. Your woman knocked me out and stole the Fetters and put me in bed so Ana thought I had fallen asleep. I only woke up about an hour ago. Not too long after that, I got a text.”
Before the knots have worked completely free, I’m already on my feet. He winces. “Yeah, naked.”
“What did the text say?”
“Only that I needed to come untie you. What the hell is going on here?”
“Loki took Oriane last night. He promised to give her back if Carly took the Eitr to Hel.”
Tyr frowns, but he gets it much faster than I did. “Oh. Oh shit. Can she really do that?” Then his phone beeps and he pulls it from his pocket.
“I don’t know. I’m hoping not.” I throw open the door. “If I can get to the gates before
her . . .”
The assassin holds up a hand, looking pale. “Too late.”
“How the fuck do you know?”
“Because.” The assassin turns his phone around so I can see the text from Ana.
Mom is back. Complete bedlam. She wants you and Styx here now, something about Carly?!
I slump against the doorframe. Something winks in the rising sun. Something on the table. I forget what I was going to say as I cross the room.
Tyr is frowning at me frowning at a familar-looking perfume bottle.
“Sýnnúne,” I mutter.
The Eitr is suddenly in my hand, the rune etched into its sides as bright and clear as the day it was cut. The assassin’s eyes widen. “Wait a fucking minute. I thought you said Carly walked out of here with the Eitr.”
“I thought she did. Carly tricked him.” My eyes widen as another fear burrows its cold way inside me. If my witch broke a damn vow on top of all this other madness . . . “She tricked Loki.”
Tyr swallows hard. “Oh. Fuck.”
“That about covers it.”
And now she’s in Hel with no way to get home. Well, no way except one. Me. My fingers tighten around the Eitr.
Never say never, Styx.
“Come on.”
“Where we going?” From the look on his face, the assassin is pretty sure I’m not going to answer his witch’s summons.
“To Hel, of course.”
“I thought that’s what you were going to say. I don’t really fancy that. Can’t you just pop in and out and get her?”
“Even I have to enter through the gates, assassin. Let’s go. That sword of yours may come in handy.”
“And if I say, no way in Hel . . . ?”
My smile is thin and cold. “I can see your soul, assassin. It looks delicious.”
He blinks. “I’m beginning to think you and Carly are incredibly well matched. Who knew?”
I throw open the door. “Me.”
22
Hel isn’t really so bad. Except it’s creepy. And cold. And too quiet.
Okay, without Styx, it’s pretty fucking horrible.
Mostly because I keep seeing things. I recognized right off they weren’t real. But even when you know you’re hallucinating, it’s scary. I thought I was pretty well-adjusted for a witch, especially considering my family history, but here . . . this place uses your mind against you.
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