by Alison Mello
“Then, Wednesday we were in Aruba, Thursday we were at sea, Friday we were in Colombia, Saturday, Panama, Sunday, Costa Rica, and then we finished with two days at sea before we got back to Miami.”
“I’m so jealous. That sounds so amazing,” I say with a fake whine in my voice. “What did you guys do? Did you get off at every island?”
“No, we didn’t get off in Colombia. The boys booked a sports thing on the ship that day, but we did a few excursions. We snorkeled, swam with dolphins, and just walked around the ports shopping. Everything was different and beautiful, but you have to be careful in port because everyone wants you to buy something. They all stop you, and of course, Brian wanted almost everything because it was all ‘so cool’ according to him,” she says, smiling as she thinks about her trip.
We continue talking as we eat our lunch. I look up and notice lunch is just about over, and I’m happy because I have gotten away without discussing the topic of Chase and me. I really don’t want to talk about us because I don’t even know what we are, so there isn’t much to talk about. I start putting my stuff in the trash and putting my snack back in my lunch bag to put in the fridge when she asks the question.
“What’s up with you and Chase?”
I cringe and she responds, “That good?”
“I guess I just don’t know how we are. We hang out and do things together, but we have yet to talk about it going any further. He admitted to me that he has trust issues because his ex used him for his money and I feel like he gets angry when Kyle doesn’t take Katie.” I sigh. “I told him I have trust issues, too.” I have had various exes treat me like shit and then leave me broke or whatever, so I have no idea if a relationship with Chase will go anywhere.
“We haven’t even slept together, so it isn’t like it has progressed at all. Part of me is glad he’s taking it slow. I like him a lot. He’s sweet and hot as hell. He has a muscular body and hazel eyes that melt me and despite his issues with Kyle he’s great with Katie. I just wish I knew how he felt about me or what he was thinking about our relationship,” I say a little sadly. “I like Chase but don’t know if we can get over our past.” That is when I realize I have a huge smile on my face, just thinking about him.
“Really?” Abbey says, surprised by my response. “I know he had a bad breakup and that she tried to wipe him out. He caught her cheating and figured out she was using him for his money before she could get away with it. You’re not her, and I’m pretty sure he really likes you.”
“Maybe. He asked me if he was going to see me after Krav Maga this week. He’s supposed to be meeting up with the guys. I guess I’m just not confident that it’ll work out between us. I have baggage, and some of it is not easy to deal with.”
We walk back to our desks from the kitchen since our lunch break is over.
* * * *
It is now five, and the remainder of my day has gone smoothly. I shut down my computer and grab my stack of resumes, along with the rest of my stuff, and I head out for the night. I say good night to a few people as I leave the office and head out to my car. I send off a quick text to my mom.
Heading to pick up Katie now, see you soon! xoxo
I head straight to camp, excited to see how my daughter’s day was. When I walk in, Katie comes running.
“Mommy!” she shouts so happy to see me.
“Hey baby girl. How was your day?” I say with the biggest smile because I’m truly happy to see her. She’s my everything.
“It was great, Mommy, we made crafts and played games and we got to go swimming in the pool!” She’s so excited that she has barely taken a breath while telling me about her day.
“Well, how about we end our day with dinner at Grammy and Grampy’s house?”
“Yea!” she shouts as she jumps up and down.
“Okay, well, let’s get our things. They’re waiting for us.”
We get to my mom’s house just as she’s finishing dinner, and it smells really good. “Mom, we are here,” I shout as I walk into the house.
“We are in the kitchen,” my mom shouts back to us. That’s all it takes for Katie, shouting with elation, to run off in the direction of her grammy.
“Grammy, I missed you today,” she says as she runs into my mom’s arms.
My mom scoops Katie into her arms as my dad comes over to give me a hug and a kiss. My mom tells Katie that she made her favorite dinner, American chop suey with garlic bread. Katie is cheering in excitement.
“Can we have ice cream for dessert if I eat all my dinner?” Katie asks.
“We will see what Grammy has in her freezer, but you have to eat all of your dinner like a good girl.”
Katie smiles happily. “I know. The only place I can eat ice cream without dinner is Daddy’s house. He says that is his way of giving me a treat because he has no money to take me anywhere.”
Oh my God. I’m seeing red. What did my kid just say? Because she can see how upset I am, my mom tells Katie to go wash up for dinner in the bathroom. Once Katie is heading in the direction of the bathroom, my dad follows to make sure she cleans up properly.
“Sweetie, you need to talk to him,” my mom says in a soothing voice.
“I know, Mom, but it is useless because he doesn’t listen and does what he wants to anyway,” I say in frustration.
“I’m ready to eat,” Katie cheers as she comes skipping back into the room. We all sit down to eat so that I can get Katie home before it gets too late. Katie tells Grammy and Grampy all about her day at camp and the friends she has made. Once she’s done eating, I quickly clear the table so she can have her dessert.
My mom found a small container of ice cream in the freezer so she gives Katie a small scoop. My mom and dad fill her in on the plan for Wednesday, promising her she can spend the night. “Grammy, are you picking me up from camp?” she says happily.
“You better believe it, and then you’re going to spend the night at Grammy’s and I’ll bring you to camp on Thursday. How does that sound?”
She smiles at my mom, gives her a big hug, and says, “Yay, thanks, Grammy!”
Once Katie has finished dessert and I have wiped her face, we both give my mom and dad a hug and kiss as we say good-bye, so I can head home and get Katie to bed.
I finally have Katie down for the night, so I take a few minutes to sit and go over the resumes. There are some interesting people applying for this job. I’m not sure if this is a good thing, but the pile of not compatible is bigger than the compatible pile. I decide to text Abbey.
I don’t understand why some of these people have applied for this job. Did they read the description?
LOL. I know what you mean. My “no” pile is way bigger than my “potential” pile.
Mine, too…oh well, see you tomorrow.
Chapter 2
It is Wednesday morning, and I have just dropped Katie off at camp with an extra bag for her to bring to my mom’s tonight. She’s so excited to be spending the night at her Grammy and Grampy’s. I sometimes feel bad taking time for myself, but I need it, and since I can’t count on Kyle, I’m grateful I can count on them.
I start driving in the direction of my office when my cell phone rings. I’m praying it isn’t Kyle because I don’t feel like dealing with his crap so early in the morning. I look at the caller ID and see that it’s Chase.
“Hey, Chase. What’s up?”
“Hey, pretty lady. Please tell me I’m going to see you tonight?”
“Yes you will. I just dropped Katie off at camp, and my mom is going to pick her up so she can spend the night with them.”
“Cool, think we can hang after dinner for a bit?”
“Sure, want to hang at my house?” I say nervously.
“Sounds good to me. See you tonight.” I can hear his smile as he says it.
“See you tonight, Chase.”
I’m pulling up to the office at the same time as Abbey, so I wait for her, and we can walk in together. “Hey, Chase just called me,”
I tell her a bit surprised to hear from him.
“Really, what did he have to say?”
I shrug. “He wanted to see if I was up for hanging out after dinner tonight, so I told him sure, and we made plans to head to my place.”
“That is awesome,” she says as we walk into work together.
Once we’re at her desk, she hands me her pile of “potential” candidates, and I hand her mine. Because the combined pile is smaller than we were expecting, we agree that we can go over them tomorrow for sure and we both go about our day.
I’m going about my day when there is a knock on the door. I look up to see it’s three thirty. Rob is standing at my door and asks if he can come in to go over the list of clients I gave him the other day. I tell him to have a seat, so he does, and we start working on the list. He does not have the best of news for me. Some of these clients are avoiding him, and others have said point-blank that they do not have the money. They say they’ll pay us as soon as they do. The last few have told him they’ll mail checks this week. I’m glad we don’t have to call our vendors about payment too often. It really sucks telling people you don’t have the money to pay them, but this is business and we need to be paid.
“I told a few of them that if we’re not paid by the end of the month, their next project will be put on hold. Those are vendors that have stuff in the pipeline with us,” Rob explains.
“Good. Keep me posted, especially on those clients,” I say in frustration as Rob gets up to leave.
Abbey knocks on my door next. “Hey, are you still going to make class tonight?”
I look at the clock, and it’s now four thirty. I have to get my crap together so we can get out on time and not be late. “Yeah. I just have to wrap up some journal entries to move money between our bank account and the payroll account before payday. Grab me at five, will ya?”
“For sure. See you in thirty!” she says as she walks out the door to finish up her work.
I’m walking out of my office promptly at five as Abbey is coming to get me, so we walk out to our cars together and head straight to class. When we arrive, Sarah, Tracey, and Ellen are already waiting for us. We all head in and change into our workout gear. Everyone is talking about the honeymoon when Tracey breaks off to talk to our instructor. Tracey has not mentioned anything more about her potential pregnancy to us, but I’m assuming she’s asking him how she can adapt the workout for pregnancy. No one wants to ask her if she has taken a test yet. We are hoping Sean and Tracey will give us the good news soon. We have all said what great parents they will make.
Our instructors call us to the mat to start our warm-ups. As we are getting ready to start our class, the guys come walking in. They take a seat in the bleachers to watch us. It makes me nervous, and I feel self-conscious with Chase watching me, but the men being there doesn’t seem to have an effect on the other women. They are flirting from the mats when one of the instructors brings Abbey down to the mat.
“See what happens when you try to be cute,” the instructor yells at us. “Guys will have their buddies distract you just like your men just did so that they can snatch you up that much easier. Always pay attention to what’s going on around you. I walked up behind Abbey, and she was so distracted she had no clue I was there. It was so easy to take her down.”
We paid for that mistake the rest of class as our instructors worked us hard. I’m going to be so sore tomorrow. Shoot, I’ll be lucky if I can walk.
We all head into the locker room to clean up, so we can get to dinner. We’re starving from the workout and can’t wait to eat. As soon as I walk out the door, Chase is waiting for me.
“Hey, pretty lady. Are you ready for some fun tonight?”
I smile but can’t help notice he sounds a little nervous, and to be honest, I am, too. He has been to my house, but usually Katie is home, and she thinks we are just friends. “Sure am!” I say hoping the night goes well.
We get to our usual hangout, Knuckleheads, and we’re seated right away. We have become regulars, so we know what we want and place our order as soon as the waitress comes over. Seth and Abbey are telling everyone about the honeymoon and some of the fun things they did while we eat our meals and enjoy a drink together.
Chase is rubbing my leg as I nervously bounce it under the table, so I stop and place one of my hands on his hand. He gives it a quick squeeze before he leans in to kiss me on the cheek. I glance over at him and smile before I turn my attention back to our friends. At this point I’m dying to get out of here because I’m nervous and need to have a conversation with him about where this is going. The waitress walks over with our bill, which Abbey’s friends, Ellen and Mark, snatch up to pay. That means it’ll be my turn next time, so I make a mental note that have to make sure to budget for it.
Chase looks over at me. “Ready to roll?”
“Yeah sure.” I get up and hug all of my friends good-bye before Chase and I walk out hand in hand.
He walks me to my car. “I’ll follow you home, okay?”
I smile shyly and nod before I climb into my car. I can’t believe how nervous I am. I have to remind myself that I’m not going to have a “friends with benefits” relationship with him, so either we try for more or we go our separate ways.
We pull up outside my apartment to find there are two spots right in front. I lock up my car and head up the stairs so I can start unlocking the front door. I’m so nervous that I drop my keys just as Chase is climbing the stairs.
He bends over to pick them up. Then he looks me in the eyes. “Baby, calm down. We are just hanging out.”
He tucks my hair behind my ear. He has no idea how much he affects me. I take a deep breath and open the door that leads to the inner hallway of my building.
He follows me in after I unlock the door that leads into my first-floor apartment. I got really lucky with this apartment. It is a two-bedroom double–living room apartment. There is a side door that opens into a small eat-in kitchen, and then it opens up with a living room and then another room in the front that I use for Katie’s playroom. Katie’s room is off the kitchen, and my room is off the living room. I tend to use a secondary entrance in the front, which walks into the playroom.
Luckily, even with a seven-year-old, I keep the house pretty tidy. I never have to worry about last minute plans like tonight.
Chase says, “It amazes me how you keep up with everything by yourself.”
I just smile at him. “I do what I have to, Chase. It isn’t easy, but things have to get done so no point in putting them off.”
I tell him to make himself comfortable. “Want a soda or something? Sorry I don’t really keep beer in the house.”
“Na, I’m fine. I just want to sit and talk.”
“What do you want to talk about?” I say flatly.
“Come on, Theresa. You know you want to talk about us as much as I do. We’ve been going out for a few weeks now.” He has a hint of frustration in his voice.
I kick off my sneakers and sit on the couch next to him with a diet soda in hand. I sigh and think for a minute before I speak. “Chase, I like you a lot, and I know Katie likes you, but we both have commitment issues. I just don’t know what to do. I can’t let Katie get attached to you unless we are real, and I’m sorry, but I’m not a friends-with-benefits kind of girl.” I say this all in one breath, like if I don’t get it out, I may not say it.
“Well, first, I don’t want you to be a friends-with-benefits type of girl, and I’m glad you’re not. I like how dedicated you are to Katie, and I want to see where this goes between us, but you need to talk to me,” he says, looking into my eyes.
“I don’t mind talking to you, but I didn’t want to come off as all clingy and send you running for the hills either. I’m not like that as a matter of fact. I’m quite independent and I’m used to doing stuff on my own. I haven’t been in a relationship since I left Kyle.”
“Okay. That isn’t a problem. I want to be your boyfriend, not take over your life
,” he says with a smile.
“I’m just not sure what to tell Katie. She asks so many questions, and I think some of it is my ex pumping her for info. I guess I just don’t want you to have to deal with my baggage,” I say, looking down at the ground.
He lifts me onto his lap. “Tell Katie I’m your boyfriend and leave it at that. We’re going to take things slow for both our sakes, but I like you and I think we can have something good together.”
He leans in to kiss me and my heart starts to race. It’s the softest, gentlest kiss I have ever gotten, and it blows me away. His hand slides up my back to the nape of my neck, and he pulls me in to deepen the kiss. My stomach starts to flip as heat is building down below.
I pull away and take a deep breath and look him in the eyes, “Chase…I…” I look down.
He lifts my chin up. “What?”
“I just can’t go there yet.”
He grins. “You can’t kiss me?” he says with a chuckle.
“No, that’s not what I mean, and you know it.” I smack him on the arm playfully and smile back at him. “I haven’t told you about half the shit I have been through, Chase, and like I said before I haven’t been in any sort of relationship since Kyle.”
“Ssshhh,” he says and kisses me again gently. “What did Kyle do to this beautiful head of yours to mess you up so bad?” he says softly.
“Kyle was my first serious relationship. He promised me the world, told me he was going to marry me and we would have lots of kids together. You know the whole happily-ever-after. Then all of a sudden, he started drinking a lot. He wouldn’t tell me why, but the next thing I knew he was complaining all the time and I couldn’t do anything right. Some nights I was a piece of shit, and others he told me I was his world.
