by Sadie Grubor
"But, you could probably pick any ex-girlfriend or girl that you meet and convince them to go along with marriage," she looked at me like I was an idiot.
"Yeah, well it’s not that simple. I’ve talked to some exes and some blind dates." I smiled at her knowing she would be trying not to laugh at the ‘blind date’. She couldn’t fight it, she laughed. "Plus there are other stipulations."
"Stipulations?" she asked.
"First tell me about your father?" I watched her stop breathing for a moment.
"There’s nothing to tell."
"I call bullshit, Lilli. You can tell me." I prayed that she would tell me, this was going to be hard enough and I needed leverage.
She took a deep breath.
"My father has heart problems." She took a deep breath before she finished. "He’s already had a heart transplant a few years ago but he started having trouble again."
"I’m sorry," I moved to stand opposite of her. She nodded. "I have to be married by February of next year, monogamous and faithful for at least four years and conceive a child within the first year of marriage."
Her head popped up with wide eyes after I finished.
"Wow…I…I really don’t know what to say."
"Crazy huh?"
She nodded in response to my question.
"And, it is much more difficult to accomplish than you would imagine," I laughed through my nose.
"I could…okay I couldn’t even imagine," she shook her head. "So you are going in a different direction you said?" she tilted her head to the side. "You don’t have to tell me anything else if you aren’t comfortable—"
"It’s fine. Well, I figure that some random person I don't know is probably not such a good idea for obvious reasons, so I have been thinking about making it a business proposition in a sense." I shrugged and sighed at the same time.
"A business…seriously?" she wrinkled her nose and crunched her eyebrows together.
Not the reaction I would like to have gotten.
"Yeah and I’ve recently gotten an idea of what to do," I stopped, hoping she would bite.
"Hmm..." she seemed to think over what I had and had not completely said. "Which is?"
There it is.
"Answer one more question for me, first?"
"Uh...oh-kay." She drawled out her words and there was now a slight narrowing of her eyes.
"You're in financial concern due to your father’s health issues, right?"
Nodding, she opened her mouth and spoke. "Yeah, but what—"
I could almost see the light bulb go off.
"Aidan….I am not—"
"Just think about it. We could draw up an agreement for marriage. I will help alleviate the financial issues your father is having and help you financially to finish college without having to work during the four years of marriage."
Shock and fear flashed in her eyes before disgust replaced them.
"No. I don’t know what you seem to think of me, but I'm not for sale, Aidan."
"I never said—"
"Hey, sorry it took me so long. Celia called me," Dixon bounded back into the room. He looked between Lilli and me. "Is something wrong?" He turned an intense glare on me.
"No," Lilli said flatly. "I was just heading to my room." Standing, she walked away.
Without one look back, she left the room. I watched her leave with a rigid spine and a rush to her steps.
Once she was out of hearing distance, Dixon turned on me. "What the fuck did you do?" he hissed.
"Nothing."
He glared and took a step closer.
"I simply told her about my situation that’s all." Shrugging, I headed to the couch.
I was thankful for the knock on the door as Dixon headed in my direction, still glaring at me.
"Hey man," Oscar greeted Dixon.
"What’s up?" James spoke next.
The three of them entered the living room. I sat thinking over what just happened between Lilli and me.
How can I convince her to do this? I thought helping her father would be my ticket to closing this deal.
"Aidan!" Dixon boomed from the chair across from me.
"Huh?" I shook my head and looked at his frustrated face.
"I think you need to tell me what the hell happened, don’t you? I won’t let you do something to her," he threatened. James and Oscar look back and forth between us.
"I already told you—"
"And the rest of it?"
"I may have proposed a business arrangement with her." I shrugged.
"You did what?" Dixon jumped to his feet.
"Calm down," I stood up in front of him. "She told me about her father’s health and financial concerns and I told her about my ‘situation’. Then I proposed that we make an arrangement. I would help her if she helps me. I wasn’t being an asshole or whatever, it was just a suggestion."
"Dude…" James said low and shook his head.
"Aidan did you just..?" Oscar looked like he couldn’t even find the words.
Dixon just sat down roughly on the couch and got redder in the face.
"I wasn’t trying to do anything mean. I just thought, actually I still think, we could help each other out."
"Leave her the fuck alone." Dixon seethed.
"Just listen to me."
Dixon started shaking his head.
"Just listen!"
At my insistence, he glared.
"If she agrees to marry me I will arrange for all the financial issues to go away for her and her father. During the four years I will make sure she finishes college." Looking around to each of them, "I think that it’s a win-win idea."
"And what about the kid?" Oscar added. "You expect her to sleep with you and give you a kid, knowing that in four years you will be splitting up? I don’t understand your thinking."
"It’s fucking brilliant." James exclaimed. Everyone turned to look at him. "Oh come on! The company needs to be kept in our family and, if it will help them both out, then what is four years? And as for a kid…hell, people raise children in separate homes all the time. Aidan works hellacious hours as it is and would only have time for weekends, so it’s perfect." James looked as if he had it all figured out.
"Fuck you!" Dixon glowered. "This isn’t just some girl we are talking about! This is my best friend." He looked at me with a death glare. "This is someone who is so much better than you using her and throwing her away when you are done!"
"Dixon, I would never hurt her or force her to do anything she didn’t want to do. It was simply an idea." He wasn’t buying it and he really shouldn’t, because, truth was, I wasn’t going to let it drop that easily. This situation had the makings of the perfect modern arrangement.
"Fuck you, Aidan!" His words full of venom.
"I think I should go." I stood up and headed toward the door.
"Yeah, I think you should." Dixon yelled following me. As I walked down the hall to the elevator, he yelled again. "Stay away from Lilli. She’s not one of your sluts!"
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Another week passed. I waited without contact for a reason. I hoped she would think more on my suggestion and perhaps start to see the positive of my arrangement. Tonight I would finally see how close I was to succeeding.
At eight o’clock, I sat at the bar with the large envelope in front of me. She appeared behind the bar in tight black denim and tiny halter top. When she saw me, irritation tightened her face. Like a woman on a mission, Lilli walked my direction.
Chapter Seven
Lillian Snowe
Lilli
From the moment I first saw Aidan, he was ridiculously attractive. I mean his thick, messy, reddish-brown hair and the shadow of a beard tracing his jaw line. Then those gray-green eyes and thick lashes, I mean, why do men always get those eyelashes? To top it all off, his lean but muscular build was pretty close to perfection—even through clothing.
My body definitely reacted to his appearance; however, my empty wallet curbed any o
r all bodily reactions at this point in my life. The only relationships I had were with my closest friends. Any interaction outside of the friend circle were only at the bar with customers and my purely physical relationship with my friend Demetri.
Having taken care of my father for so long now, it was my life. Since his heart attacks and the eventual transplant he needed, we are financially stressed. His funds from his previous fisherman job paid for as much as possible but there were still past due medical bills.
Having been away in college in New York when his transplant was needed, I started working to help pay for my own personal expenses as well as help my father out. Soon, one job became two and my classes started to suffer. I'd actually bought my father’s home so the money he made from the house could be used to pay medical bills. My debt increased dramatically. On the verge of dropping college, I spent a lot of time searching for a better paying job or more hours, something to get us by. Moving back to Winter Harbor with my father was also becoming a real possibility.
Now, Donald was sick again and in and out of the doctor’s office and hospital. The bills once again piled up. The mortgage for the house was about to default. When Donald used to have moments of feeling better he would work under the table for friends but now he was too weak, too sick.
Aidan was a frequent visitor to the apartment and old friend of Dixon, so it wasn’t uncommon to see him around. He’d become a fun acquaintance. It also didn’t throw me off guard when he knew slightly too much about my life. Dixon always acted like a gossipy woman. However, when he suggested he could buy me for four years to be his incubator, I almost punched him in the face.
Did he think I was for sale? I was his last act of desperation? Really?
Walking into work, seeing him sitting smugly at the end of the bar brought the hairs on the back of my neck up. Anger flared in my chest. I stalked down to the end of the bar towards him, his eyes intently on mine.
"What the hell do you want, Aidan?" I snapped. "You here to throw money at me again, did you want to talk with my pimp?"
"Lilli, I never meant to insinuate anything like that," he ran his hand through his already mussed hair. "I don’t think that way about you. I just think that this is a good arrangement for both of us. It would help us both."
"You’re out of your mind if you think you can buy me for four years to be an incubator," I spit out and turned on my heels to walk away.
"Wait," he shouted.
Spinning around. "What?" I snapped.
"Just take this and think about it…" He was pleading with me, not only in his words but with his eyes.
Grabbing the large envelop he was holding out, I walked away. I threw it in the trash can and started my shift behind the bar. Later, I glanced back down the bar. He was gone. Breathing a sigh of relief, I went about my night dealing with overzealous frat boys and arrogant businessmen.
At the end of my shift, I grabbed for my bag. As I reached in for my sweatshirt, I found a large envelope. THE large envelope. How the hell? How dare him!
I must've had one hell of a look on my face because Celia put her hand on my arm.
"Are you okay?"
"No," I growled.
"What the hell is that?" She motioned to the envelope.
When I was finished telling her about Aidan's proposal, she looked thoughtful.
"Celia?" She didn't look pissed like me.
"Lilli," she sighed. "Lilli, do you want me to be honest?"
I stood for a moment not responding and then nodded.
"You work, what, three jobs?" I nodded, again. "And this would take care of all your debt and college?" Anger began to boil in my chest. "Lilli honestly, if it were me, I would consider it. Given everything you're struggling with right now, if I were in your place, I would probably consider it heavily."
"How could you sell yourself?" I seethed.
"Because it would help my family, if I still had one." A moment of sadness flashed in her eyes. "I would do it now if someone told me they could bring them back to me. I would do it." Her voice lowered during the last sentence.
"You could have a child with someone you don’t even know, knowing you will be divorced in four years? How could you do that to a kid?" I still couldn't believe what she was saying.
"Well, it’s not a preference but, at the same time, the child would be loved and well taken care of. I would just make sure that my child always felt that, no matter what was going on, I loved them." She looked me straight in the eye.
"I can’t do it. I’m not for sale and neither is my uterus." I argued.
She shrugged.
"I’m just saying you should at least think about it. Besides, who says you have to agree to all of these terms. If this is a business arrangement, as he calls it, then you can always counter offer." She smirked and put her arm around me walking us out of the club.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Over the next couple of days I couldn’t get it out of my mind. The nerve he had to ask this of me, how right he was about me needing the money and Celia being so blasé about the situation. It all infuriated me even more. I decided to call Phoebe.
"Hey doll, what’s up?"
"Oh, just wait till you hear this!" I groaned.
"Ooohh…hold on…let me grab some Twizzlers."
There came a rustling of clothing and drawers opening then closing.
"Okay, Go." She said, excitedly.
"You remember Aidan, right?"
"Mister marry me and have my babies? Yeah." She started to get a familiar tone in her voice.
"Oh, no, no, no, it’s not that!" Before she got it in her head that we were hooking up.
"Damn," she pouted.
"What the hell, Phoebe?"
"Well," she whined, "I wanted to hear details about his man candy." She huffed. "Just from sitting and looking him over, thoroughly, I can only imagine what his—"
"Stop!" I couldn’t take anymore, not right now. I launched into the story of Aidan in my kitchen and then him showing up at the club. Phoebe didn’t say anything for awhile and I was starting to get angry. "Hello?"
"I’m here," she said flatly.
"I swear, if you agree with Celia I'm going to lose my fucking mind." I threw myself down on my bed. The soft light blue cotton blanket and pillows engulfed me.
"Well, honestly, she has a point about the benefits; however, before you go all bitch-face on me, I think it’s shitty he would assume just because of your da…your situation that he could buy you like that," she huffed. "Plus, who is he to make you his act of desperation?"
Finally! Someone understood!
"Thank you!" I breathed out in relief. "Then, to top it all off, Celia’s comments keep playing around in my head and I can’t seem to get them—"
"That’s because she’s right," Phoebe blurted.
"What the—?"
"Lilli, I said he was shitty for it, yes, but that doesn’t make Celia wrong. It would be like the best thing to be able to take care of everything for your dad and college without having to work four million jobs and dropping out."
"Who told you that I was drop…Dixon," I growled.
"Oh, hell, Lilli, do you think Dixon doesn’t talk to me about everything? Please. We’ve been friends for years. Don’t act like it’s a surprise." She said nonchalantly. "I am surprised that he didn’t call me and tell me about this though, since you took forever," she huffed.
"Well I’m sorry I couldn’t entertain you sooner, asshole."
"Hmmm…I don’t know what you want me to say Lilli. This is your decision but I think you should think about it all before you make a choice. Don’t do anything you will hate yourself for later. Make this decision about you and not about someone else because then you will regret it and resent that person, even if you have good intentions when you do it."
I sighed, loudly. "I’m not for sale, Phoebe."
"Sounds like you know what you want to do then," she laughed weakly. "Can we talk about man candy now…cause Oscar—"
"Phoebe! I have to see him here with Dixon. I don’t want to hear about his man candy," I made fake disgusted gagging noises.
"Oh, if you were sucking on his man candy you would be gagging for real," she blurted out quickly.
"Good bye, Phoebe!" Hitting the end call button before she could say anything, I dropped it to the bed.
Why are all of my friends insane? Or is it me?
I headed out to the kitchen and pulled out some Pillsbury already made chocolate chip cookie dough. I spooned the dough onto the cookie tray—one for the tray, one for my mouth, one for the tray, one for my mouth.
Once they were in the oven, I plugged in my IPod and decided that cleaning will help me work off some of the tension. Getting out the cleaning supplies, I started with the counters then moved on to furniture. The Swiffer became my microphone and dance partner. I spun around with the Swiffer on the floor and sang out the words as Fergie sang them to me. "Shopping for labels, shopping for love—" The oven beep interrupted my performance. Cookies!
Climbing onto the couch with my cookies, a large glass of milk and the television remote, I tried to ignore the large envelope I'd thrown on the coffee table. The more I tried to ignore its presence, the worse my curiosity ate away at me.
"Damn it!" My curiosity won. I opened the envelope and started reading over the papers.
He wasn’t kidding when he said he would take care of it all. He had more than enough money arranged to go into my personal account to cover my father’s expenses and to pay off the house. Then, there were the terms of college. The amount that he had allotted was more than enough to cover the remainder of college that I needed.
I threw the papers back down and took a large bite of a cookie. Chewing on the cookie, I reached over and picked the papers back up. Basically it was marriage and a child. In return I would get money, security, a college fund and future assistance with the child.
I can’t even remember the last thing I was thinking before I fell asleep but it led to me waking up panicked from a horrible dream. I had dreamt about having a little boy holding his arms up to me, no matter how hard I tried to reach for him I couldn’t. I felt his little fingers as he seemed to be pulled away from me and then he was in the arms of a faceless man who was taking him away. It was horrible.
