by Molly Evans
“Stay here. I’ll go and flag them down.” Thomas stood and jogged over the hill. He returned shortly with the ambulance crawling along behind him. As soon as they had parked near Gina and the boys, the crew dragged out their equipment.
“What do we have here?” one of the paramedics asked, then pulled back in surprise. “Hey, Doc, I didn’t realize that was you. What are doing here? Moonlighting at the park?”
Thomas snorted. “As a matter of fact, I was taking some time away from the ER this afternoon. But I think Billy here’s got possible fractured ribs and ruptured spleen. His abdomen’s very tender, so we need him looked at ASAP. He was apparently sliding down the railing on his skateboard and crash-landed on his chest and stomach.” Thomas filled in all of the available information as the paramedics took over the situation. “Not a very good idea.”
Eric shrugged and looked away. “We’ve seen other kids do it,” he said, and his breathing became rapid and shallow as he watched with tear-filled eyes as his friend was being loaded onto the gurney. “Is he gonna be OK?”
“Not if his mother gets hold of him first. We have to take him to the hospital and have a look at him,” the paramedic said. “Why don’t you come along, and I’ll call your moms from there?”
Whining protests from both boys was the only answer. But getting Billy stabilized was of primary importance. Eric picked up their skateboards and climbed into the front of the ambulance. The crew loaded Billy into the back and took him away, siren blaring, to the hospital.
“Should we go to the hospital to follow up?” Gina asked, and watched the vehicle speed away.
“No. If they need us, they’ll call.” This was his time off and the boy was in good hands. He didn’t need to charge to the rescue and step on another doctor’s toes. “Stan is on duty today, and he’ll take good care of Billy.”
“You’re right. Sorry. I have a hard time letting go of something once I get involved. Turning over the case to the ER is the right thing to do,” she said, and Roller-bladed slowly back to the bench. “I’m not Supernurse. I can’t be everything to everyone.”
“Do you really want to be?” he asked.
She blew out a long sigh. “No way.”
Thomas followed her, also needing to shake off the effects of the unexpected drama. What was this connection he was starting to feel with Gina? Was it only job related or was it the pain he sensed just under the surface? Or could it be something else, such as simple attraction? He didn’t know, but he definitely wanted to. He sat beside her on the bench, staring at her until she looked up at him.
“What?”
“Gina Riddles, I’m going to kiss you.”
“What?” Her eyes sprang wide at his unexpected words.
Before either of them had time to think, Thomas leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. “You were great with that kid. You really have a gift for calming people in stressful situations.”
Gina puffed out a sigh and glanced at the ground, her face coloring slightly. “Oh. I thought…um…I thought you were…you meant…” Her face and neck turned a remarkable shade of red. “God, I’m so embarrassed.” She clasped her hands over her face and groaned. “Where’s an earthquake when you need one?”
Thomas laughed. “Sorry. We’re not on a fault line.” Thomas placed a finger beneath her chin and tilted her face up to look at him. Fear, relief, yet curious desire pulsed in her eyes, mirroring the emotions churning within him. Her breathing was rapid, but he didn’t know if that was from the exertion of exercise or from their close proximity. His own pulse raced, and he knew it wasn’t from anything else but being near Gina. Leaning closer, he watched her eyes widen and her pupils dilate. But she didn’t pull away. How tempting was that? He looked at her mouth. Her full lips were slightly parted.
“You thought I was going to kiss you,” he whispered. “Like this?” Thomas pressed his mouth against Gina’s and felt a tremble roll through her that echoed in him. Then he pulled away seconds later. Giving in to temptation had not been a good idea. It only made him want to explore more. Which was really not a good idea.
“Yeah,” she said, and drew in a shaky breath. “Something like that.” She stood and pretended to brush something off her shorts. “You know, Doc, it’s been an interesting afternoon, but I’ve got to go.”
Though her lips tingled from that kiss, she was not going there ever again. She’d had her fling with a rich guy once, and it had ended in disaster. She wasn’t about to repeat that. She had never, ever forgotten that painful life lesson and she wasn’t going to forget it now, no matter how deep her attraction to Thomas.
There was so much about this man that she didn’t know. So much he didn’t know about her. And so much standing between them that she’d never be able to overcome. But it didn’t matter. He was out of her league, despite being the most attractive man she’d seen in a long time, despite the flutter that rose in her stomach every time she looked at him. Despite the way he looked at her as if she were a real person, not just someone to satisfy an impulsive sexual need.
Thomas took her hand before she could dash off. “Where are you going? There’s still plenty of the day left.”
“I just need to go.” She tried to tug her hand free, but he refused to release her. She didn’t want to be rude and yank her hand away, but the warmth of his skin against hers made her react in ways she didn’t want to think about. The contact felt almost comforting, almost right. Almost.
“Go where? I just got here.” He hoped it wasn’t a date she was running off to.
Gina sighed, hesitating. “I’m going to see my mother, OK?” She tugged again, and Thomas stood, but didn’t relinquish her hand.
“Your mother?”
“Yes.” Gina refused to look at him. Instead, she reached for her helmet and tucked it under her arm.
“You don’t look as if you’re about to have an enjoyable outing with her,” Thomas said.
“As a matter of fact, I’m not. She’s not well.” Gina shook her head and sniffed, then wiped her nose as her chin trembled. This situation with her mother was so new, so unexpected, that she hadn’t quite learned to deal with the drastic change yet.
Thomas watched her. He hadn’t expected her to have such an emotional reaction to a simple question. Was the woman seriously ill? Was that the reason Gina was back? She’d mentioned that her father had recently died, but she didn’t seem particularly upset by it. This must be different.
“Has she been ill very long?” He didn’t want to probe or push her, but he did want to understand what was going on.
“Longer than I was aware of, I’m ashamed to admit.” Gina sat down with a plop.
Something wasn’t right here. He didn’t know what, but Gina was obviously troubled. “Do you want to talk?” Thomas asked.
“No. There’s nothing much to talk about.” She gave a harsh laugh, and looked at Thomas as tears filled her eyes. “She can’t remember…”
Thomas started to get an idea of what was going on with Gina’s mother. “She has some memory…problems?”
“No. There’s no problem at all. She has absolutely no memory. Advanced Alzheimer’s.” Gina looked away from him as her chin trembled again. “She doesn’t recognize me anymore.”
“I’m so sorry, Gina. That’s a very difficult thing to deal with.” He wanted to reach out, pull her into his arms and give her the comfort she so obviously needed, but hesitated, wondering how she would interpret that. How it could affect their professional relationship if they shared their personal pain. Once broken, that sort of boundary could never be erected again. Confessions couldn’t be retracted.
“Yeah.” She nodded. “Denial only goes so far, right?”
“Why don’t we just sit here awhile?” Thomas said. “Or we could take a drive up the parkway.” He tried to catch her eye, but she avoided his gaze and stared at her hands clenched in her lap. “You said you liked the mountains.”
“You’re awfully nice to offer, but I’m OK.�
� Gina fiddled with the strap of her helmet.
“I doubt that you’re OK, but just the same it’s a beautiful afternoon. Why don’t we enjoy the rest of it together?”
“Because I’m not very good company.” Gina broke off and turned away from him, but he knew she still was crying. Though she made no sound, her shoulders trembled and she pressed her hand to her mouth.
“Come here,” he whispered, the sound of her tears breaking down the barriers in his own heart. Propriety no longer seemed to matter. With gentle arms he turned her, pulled her close. Barriers be damned. “I know you think you have nothing to hang on to now, but you can hang on to me for a while.”
Gina dropped her helmet and reached out for him. Wrapping her arms around his middle, she pressed her face to his neck and let her tears fall. After a few minutes the tears abated and she pulled away. Her tremulous breathing told him that she was far from fine.
“Is there anything I can do?”
“There’s nothing,” she said, her voice flat, and she wiped the heels of her hands across her eyes. “Believe me, there’s nothing. She has Lewybody dementia. She’s only fifty-five years old. It’s just a matter of time.” After a few shaky breaths, she continued, “My father didn’t see any need to take her to a doctor when she was starting to have memory trouble. I don’t know that there was much that could have been done, but at least she’d have been cared for.”
Thomas closed his eyes and the hope that had briefly flared now died. Unfortunately, Gina was right. If her mother was in the advanced stages, there was nothing to be done except comfort care and letting nature take its course. Instead, there might be something that he could do to help Gina get through this time and adjust to her mother’s condition. “You’re feeling guilty for not being here, aren’t you?”
Gina nodded. “I’ve been off having a good time on my assignments and totally ignoring the situation at home.”
“I’m sure that’s not true. You’re an adult, you’re supposed to be off on your own, enjoying your life. Don’t feel bad about that.” For the moment Thomas just held her and marveled at how well she fit against him. Gina seemed content to sit in the sunshine with him. “How’s her communication?”
“Poor, and it got worse once I moved her out of the house. Most of the time she talks in word-salad, but now and then she has a moment of clarity.”
“Where is she?” Thomas reached for her hand, trying to soothe her as the story tumbled out.
“She’s in a shelter care, because she obviously can’t live alone. I can’t take care of her by myself even if I did live here. The bad part is that it needs to be paid for. The house is for sale, but I don’t expect to get much out of it.” Gina pressed a hand against her forehead with a sigh. “It’s not ideal, but I didn’t have any choice.”
“And this has just been dumped on you in the last few weeks, hasn’t it?” He shook his head, trying to understand how she must be feeling.
“Yeah. I came home to help settle my father’s estate, but there was no way my mother could live on her own. She was very dependent on my father and when he died I think she just fell apart.”
“I can imagine,” Thomas responded.
“That’s why I took the assignment here. I had to be close by to make sure she was settled. I couldn’t just leave her there and take off without making sure she was really going to do OK.” Gina wiped her eyes again.
“You’re doing a very good thing, Gina,” Thomas said. “Don’t you have any other family that can help out?”
“No. It’s just me.” Seeming to get hold of her emotions, Gina took a deep breath. Leaning on Thomas was too easy, too comfortable, and something she wouldn’t allow herself to indulge in. She had to be strong on her own. “I’m fine now. Thanks for the shoulder, but I think I’ve humiliated myself enough for one day.” Gina looked at her watch. “Damn. Visiting time is just about over now. They are very strict about not interrupting schedules there. The rest of their residents really respond well to consistency, and I’m hoping she will too.” Gina’s shoulders slumped. “I won’t be able to see her today.”
“I’m sorry if I caused the delay.”
“No. It’s not your fault. Things just happened that way today.” She gathered her belongings. “But just the same, I’d better get going. I’ll go home and call to see how her day went.”
Thomas reached for his cell phone and held it out to her. “If you know the number, you can call right now.” Was it selfish of him to want to keep her to himself for a while longer? Or was he being noble and self-sacrificing by wanting to be with Gina during a tough time? He mentally snorted. Hardly. Not while there was a stack of charts a mile high at home, waiting for him.
Gina looked up at him, her gaze guarded. She reached for the phone and dialed. After a short conversation, she returned the phone to Thomas. “Nothing new. Ate well. Happy. Totally demented.”
“I’m sorry, Gina. But at least she’s happy. She could be a lot worse—paranoid, or combative.” The defeat in Gina’s voice bothered him more than anything. He hoped it was only temporary.
“I know. I know. She could be a lot better, too. If it hadn’t been for my father…she might not be so badly off.” Gina bent over and unlaced her Rollerblades, popped the latches and removed her feet. “Oh, that feels much better,” she said with a groan of relief.
“I know this is going to sound like a shrink, but it sounds like you need to talk to someone. We’re here. It’s a beautiful day. Neither of us has plans. Why not?” Really. Why not?
“That’s not a good idea, but I appreciate it.”
“If you’re worried anything will get out, don’t. I will keep your confidence.”
Gina looked at him, assessing the sincerity in his face and voice. Could she trust this man with her secrets? Trust a man just like the one who had betrayed her? She couldn’t hold him responsible for someone else’s actions, but they were so alike it was frightening. But dammit, he was right. She did need to talk to someone and the opportunity was right here.
Was she going to let the secrets she’d guarded so long ruin the rest of her life? She sighed, knowing she was at a crossroads. The temptation to get up and run pulsed strong in her veins, an instinct honed for many years. But she’d just gotten through telling Thomas that she was no quitter. How could she back down from her own declaration now?
“OK. But I’m not talking to you about anything else unless you take me for coffee. That looked way too good.” She flashed a grin, but knew it was just a delaying tactic. “I can be bought, but I’m not cheap.”
Thomas laughed. He picked up her blades and led her to his car. “You’re on.”
As Gina got in she resisted the temptation to stroke the butter-soft leather seat. This vehicle was a luxury she’d never be able to afford, but she would enjoy it on a temporary basis as they drove to the coffee shop.
This was not a conversation she wanted to share with any eavesdroppers, so they got their drinks to go, stayed in the car, and found a shady place along a deserted, tree-lined lane. Gina tipped her head against the back of the seat and looked out the window. “I used to come here when I was a teenager. The trees have grown up quite a bit in the last few years. They’re even more beautiful than they were then.”
Thomas looked out at the trees in full foliage as they bent over and seemed to create an archway of emerald leaves that led nowhere. In the fall, those same leaves would be gloriously colored. This was a peaceful place, and he hoped the familiarity would help Gina share her story with him.
Thomas turned toward her, the light in his eyes without judgment or expectation. She needed this. But taking the first step was so very difficult. She wasn’t used to needing anyone, and she wasn’t comfortable with it.
“So, tell me.”
No demands, no recrimination, just a simple opening. That she could live with. But what were going to be the repercussions on their work life? Once intimacies of any sort were shared with a coworker, there was no going
back. Things always changed. Whether for the better or not she didn’t know. Right now she had to take the chance.
“What do you want to know?”
“Whatever you want to tell. I’ll just listen.” He shrugged. “Sometimes just the telling of a story can take the starch right out of the problem.” He knew it wasn’t that simple with her situation, but he wanted to make her feel as comfortable as possible.
Gina sighed, and the story poured out of her. Abusive, alcoholic father. Mother too weak and frightened to stand up to him, even for her child. Gina, the only child, who could never be good enough at anything for words of encouragement or approval.
Thomas hated to ask, but he had to. “Did he ever… hurt you? In any way?”
Gina looked at Thomas. His meaning was very clear. “No. He never touched me. Thankfully. The last time I saw him alive was after I graduated from college.” She thought back to that day and tears filled her eyes, but she controlled them, as she’d learned to control them most of her life. “I was so proud to have a real diploma in my hand. Even if it was just a two-year degree, it was a place to start. I wanted him to see that finally I’d done something he could be proud of. I was a nurse, I had a profession, a career, not just a job at the grocery store like everyone else I knew. Or already married with children. I was gonna get out of this town and make something of myself.” Gina broke off as her voice cracked. Damn. Emotions were something she hated, couldn’t control, and despised that failing in herself. She should be stronger but right now she just couldn’t.
“What did he say?” Thomas reached for her hand and placed his on top of it.
“He laughed. He actually laughed. He said no matter what I did or where I went, I’d always be the stupid daughter of an unemployed mill worker.” She wiped a tear from her cheek, then took a sip of her drink, trying to cover the tremor in her voice. The touch of his hand comforted her.
