by Helen Lacey
“I’m glad about that.”
He was, too. Most days. Until the guilt got him. The unforgiving, relentless guilt that reminded him that while he was home and healthy and physically unscathed, so many of his friends had not made it.
Survivor’s remorse. He’d heard about it. Read about it. Hell, he’d even had an army shrink tell him about it. But he hadn’t wanted to believe it. He longed to be grateful that he was still alive. But there were times when he couldn’t be. And there were times when he felt as though a part of him had died up on that ridge that day.
“So am I.”
He tried to think of something else to say, some way to convince her that her mother would be very proud of the woman she had become, but she spoke again.
“Your brother thinks you have PTSD.”
Brant flinched. “I don’t—”
“You might,” she said, cutting him off. “It can show itself in various ways. Do you sleep through the night?”
“Mostly,” he lied.
“There are other symptoms,” she went on to say, calmly, relentlessly. “Bad dreams, fatigue, isolation. I know Dr. Allenby would be available to talk to you. I can give you a referral if you like. Or make you an appointment.”
Great, she thought he was a head case. A nut job. Weak. And he was pissed that his brother had been interfering. “Grady had to know I wouldn’t be happy he’d said that to you.”
She shrugged lightly. “I might have told him I wouldn’t tell you.”
“But you did.”
She sighed. “I thought it was more important I tell you the truth than him.”
“Why?”
Brant felt her stare from his hair to the soles of his feet. But he didn’t dare look at her, because her next words should have rocked him to the core. But they didn’t.
“Because it’s not your brother I like, is it?”
Chapter Four
Lucy never imagined she would be sitting in his truck and telling Brant Parker she liked him.
Admit it...you more than like him.
To his credit, he didn’t overreact. In fact, as the seconds ticked by, he didn’t do anything. He simply drove, hands on the wheel, eyes and concentration directly ahead. Nothing about him indicated he was affected by her words in any way.
But as the seconds turned into minutes, her gratitude quickly turned into irritation.
Am I so completely unlikable in return?
She sucked in a breath, felt her annoyance build and crossed her arms. “Well...thank you.”
“What?” he said and snapped his head sideways for a moment.
“Thank you for making me feel about as desirable as a rock.”
More silence. But this time it was filled with a thick, relentless tension that she felt through to her bones. Okay, so he wasn’t unmoved. But he wasn’t saying much, either!
“Don’t be stupid.”
Lucy’s jaw tightened and she glared at him. “Now I’m a stupid rock?”
“You’re deliberately twisting my words to get some kind of reaction,” he said, still not looking at her, still staring at the road ahead. “It’s not going to work.”
Lucy laughed humorlessly. “You know, Brant, you can be a real horse’s ass sometimes.”
“Around you?” He sighed heavily. “Sure seems that way.”
“Okay... I take it back. I don’t like you. Not one bit.”
“Good,” he quipped. “Let’s keep it that way.”
Lucy clenched her hands around her tote. “Fine by me.”
Silence stretched between them like elastic. Lucy was about to shift her gaze sideways to stare out the window when she heard him chuckle.
“Something funny?” she asked.
“Yeah,” he replied. “You are. We are.”
“But there is no we,” she reminded him. “Remember? I’m a hometown girl with picket-fence dreams and you’re not marriage material... Isn’t that how it went?”
His jaw clenched but she caught a smile teetering on his lips.
“Are you going to constantly remind me of every stupid thing I say, Lucy?”
“Probably.”
“Don’t know how we’re ever gonna become friends if you keep doing that.”
Lucy’s breath caught. “Friends? You and me?”
He shrugged loosely. “Why not? It would sure beat all that wasted energy I’ve put in trying to ignore you for the past six months.”
She almost laughed out loud. Now he wanted to be friends after months of snubbing her very existence? The nerve of him. “So, you admit it?”
“Totally.”
His honest reply quickly diffused her rising temper. “And now all of a sudden you want to be friends?”
“I want my mother to stop matchmaking,” he replied. “I figure that if we’re friends and she knows it’s strictly platonic, she’ll get off my back.”
Lucy clenched her jaw. “Boy, you sure know how to make a girl feel good about herself.”
“It wasn’t meant as an insult,” he said quietly. “On the contrary, I think having you as a friend could be the best move I’ve made in a long time.”
She tried to smile. Friends? Sure. Whatever. “Okay, we’ll be friends. To please your mom, of course.”
“You’re making fun of me,” he said, his gaze straight ahead. “That’s becoming something of a habit of yours.”
“You could probably do with being brought down a peg or two.”
He laughed and the sound filled the cab. “You think I need bringing down?”
“Sometimes. But I guess since you look the way you do...” Her voice trailed off.
“What does that mean?” he asked.
Lucy shrugged, coloring hotly and digging herself in deeper with every word. “You know...because you’re so...so...”
“So?”
“Hot,” she said quickly. “Handsome. Gorgeous. And if you had mirrors in your house you’d know that already.”
“I don’t spend time gazing at my own reflection,” he said wryly.
Lucy smiled, pleasantly surprised to discover that beneath the brooding, indifferent facade he actually had a good sense of humor. “Here I was thinking all you pretty boys were the same.”
His mouth twisted and then he laughed again. “You’re making fun again. See,” he said easily, “this ‘being friends’ thing is working out already.”
Lucy laughed. “Yeah...it’s a breeze.”
The conversation shifted to more neutral topics other than their fledgling friendship and by the time they pulled into the parking lot at the hospital Lucy was in a much better mood. And it didn’t take a genius to figure out that he had somehow diffused her temper with his deep voice and quiet small talk. So, he was smart. She knew that. It was one of the things she found attractive about him. There was an understated intensity about Brant Parker that captured her attention every time he was within a twenty-foot radius.
And now he wanted to be friends. That’s all. And she’d agreed.
I’m an idiot.
What she needed to do was to stay well away from Brant Parker and his deep blue eyes and sexy indifference. Otherwise she was going to get her heart well and truly crushed.
They walked into the hospital side by side and once they reached reception Lucy quickly asked for directions to Joe Parker’s room. Brant’s uncle was sitting up in bed, pale and tired, but in good spirits.
“You’re certainly keeping good company these days,” Joe said to Brant and winked toward Lucy. “’Bout time.”
Brant managed to look a little uncomfortable. “Dr. Monero is here in case you have any questions about the tests you’ll be having.”
Joe patted the edge of the bed, inviting Lucy to sit. “Is
that what he said, Doc?” He winked again, then glanced at his nephew. “Using a sick old man to get a date...shame on you.”
“Uncle Joe, I hardly—”
“I insisted,” Lucy said, smiling, certain that Brant didn’t appreciate his uncle’s teasing. “So this isn’t really a date. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
Joe’s eyes crinkled in the corners. “That’s nice to hear. But all this seems like a big waste of time. I don’t want a whole bunch of people sticking me with needles and poking at me. I feel fine.”
“You had a heart attack, Uncle Joe,” Brant reminded him seriously.
Joe waved a hand. “It was nothing, just a—”
“Mr. Parker,” Lucy said gently as she perched herself on the edge of his bed. “You trust me, right?”
The older man nodded. “Well, of course, Doc.”
Lucy patted his hand. “You’re here because I thought it was the best thing considering what happened yesterday. And I’ll be close by if you have any questions. So, promise me you won’t cause a fuss and will do everything the doctors say.”
He shrugged and looked toward his nephew. “She certainly has a way about her, doesn’t she? Is she this bossy with you?”
Brant’s mouth twitched. “Absolutely.”
Joe laughed and it made Lucy smile. She knew Brant was watching her and feeling his gaze made her skin hot. She wished she wasn’t so affected by him. It would certainly make getting him out of her system a whole lot easier.
Two doctors and a nurse arrived, and she shuffled off the bed and introduced herself and Brant. It took a few minutes for them to explain the testing and observations they would be doing over the next few hours and once Lucy was assured Joe was in good hands, she and Brant left the room.
“Should we stay?” he asked as they headed down the corridor.
“No,” Lucy replied. “The less distraction your uncle has, the better. We’ll come back in an hour or so. In the meantime, you can buy me a cup of herbal tea at the cafeteria.”
Brant grinned slightly. “Sure, Saint Lucia.”
She frowned. “I thought we agreed you were going to call me plain old Lucy.”
“You’re not old,” he said as they reached the elevator. “And you’re not plain.”
Lucy’s eyes widened as they stepped into the elevator. “Is that a compliment?”
He shrugged. “An observation.”
She waited until the door closed and pressed the button. “Smooth,” she said and crossed her arms. “But you obviously don’t remember when I used to be a chubby teenager with braces and glasses.”
The elevator opened and he waited while she stepped out before following her.
“I remember,” he said, walking beside her as they headed for the cafeteria.
“And here I was thinking I was invisible back then.”
When they reached the cafeteria he ordered her some tea and a coffee for himself and quickly found them a table. He pulled a seat out for her, waited while she settled in, then placed his jacket on the back of another chair and took a seat. “Are you always this hard on yourself?” he asked quietly.
Lucy frowned. “What?”
“You’re smart, successful...” His words trailed off for a moment and he rested his elbows on the table. “And beautiful. Why would you think anything less?”
“I don’t,” she said quickly, feeling heat rise up her neck. “I mean...not that I think I’m beautiful...because I’m obviously not. Well, not compared to someone like my friend Kayla. But I know I’m—”
“Being tall and blonde isn’t a trademark stamp of beauty, you know,” he said, meeting her gaze with a burning intensity that left her breathless. “There’s also beauty in curves and green eyes and freckles.”
I’m dreaming...that has to be it. There’s no other way Brant Parker would be telling me he thinks I’m beautiful.
She swallowed hard and took a breath. “Wow, you really can be charming when you put your mind to it.”
He chuckled. “I figure I have some making up to do.”
“You mean because you behaved like an idiot the other night?”
“Yes.”
She laughed softly. “You’re forgiven, okay? I’m not the kind of person to hold a grudge anyhow.”
“That’s very generous of you. My mother was right.”
Lucy’s expression narrowed. “She was?”
He half shrugged. “She said you were kind. And sweet.”
“Wow, how dull does that sound,” Lucy sighed.
Brant’s eyes darkened and he stared at her with a kind of hypnotic power. Awareness swirled through the space between them and she couldn’t have broken the visual connection even if she’d tried.
“Tell me something,” he said so quietly that Lucy had to lean forward to hear him. “Why don’t you have a boyfriend?”
* * *
Brant had no idea why he was asking Lucy Monero about her love life. He didn’t want to know. The less he knew about the bewitching brunette the better. But he couldn’t help himself. She looked so alluring with her lovely hair framing her face and her sparkling green eyes meeting his gaze with barely a blink.
She sat back, looking surprised. “A boyfriend?”
Her reaction was dead-on. It was none of his concern what she did or with whom. “Forget I—”
“No one’s asked me out.”
Impossible. Brant didn’t bother to hide his disbelief. “No one?”
She raised a shoulder. “Not for a while. And I guess I wasn’t all that interested in dating when I was in medical school. Since I’ve been back home I’ve been too busy at the hospital. You know how it is...it’s easy to get caught up in work and forget everything else.”
He did know how that was. Brant had deliberately focused on renovating the Loose Moose for the past month or so to avoid any entanglements. But something in her expression made him think there was more to it. “So there was no college boyfriend you left behind with a broken heart when you went to med school?”
“No,” she replied. “I was a geek in high school and stayed that way in college.”
He smiled, remembering how she’d always seemed to have her head in a book when she was a teenager. “Don’t geeks date?” he asked quietly.
“Generally other geeks.” She gave him a half smile. “You know...when we’re not sitting around doing calculus for fun or asking for extra homework.”
He grinned. “You really were a geek.”
“One hundred percent,” she said and smiled at two nurses who passed close by their table. “It’s how I got through high school,” she said once they were alone again. “I hung out with my equally geekish friends, studied hard, avoided gym class and tried not to get upset when I didn’t have a date for prom.”
Her admission made him think of Trudy Perkins and the ordeal she’d put him through about prom. There was the dress, the suit, the limo she’d wanted him to hire and her displeasure at being forced to arrive at the event in his battered old truck—she’d made him crazy with her expectations and complaints. A week later they were done. He’d enlisted in the army and she didn’t want to be with someone who wasn’t going to be around. And he’d been happy about it. The last thing he’d wanted was to leave a girl behind when he went off to war. Not that Trudy was the love of his life. Sure, he’d wanted her...but it was little more than that. And she hadn’t seemed heartbroken when they’d broken up.
Only sometimes, when he’d returned home in between tours or on leave, he’d wondered what it would be like to have someone waiting...to have warm arms and soft words to greet him. But there never was. He’d made a point of steering clear of anything serious. Hometown girls were off-limits. And now it was a complication he didn’t need.
“Prom is overrated,” he s
aid and sugared his coffee.
“Easy for you to say,” she replied and sipped her tea. “You probably had every cheerleader hanging off your every word during senior year in the hope you’d take them to the prom.” She grinned slightly. “But in the end Trudy won your heart.”
Brant smiled. “My relationship with Trudy had less to do with heart—” he saw her expression grow curiously “—and more to do with another part of my anatomy...if you get what I mean.”
He watched, fascinated as color rose up her neck. She embarrassed easily, but wasn’t shy about showing it. “Us geeks generally missed that class,” she said, grinning.
Lucy had a good sense of humor and Brant liked that about her. He was discovering that he liked most things about her. She had a husky kind of laugh, for one, and it seemed to reverberate through him. And her green eyes always looked as though they held some sort of secret. There was an energy surrounding her, a magnetic pull that Brant found difficult to deny.
Over the past few months he’d deliberately steered clear of her. Of course, that hadn’t stopped his attraction for her from growing. But he’d kept it under control, dismissed it, put it out of his mind most days. However, being around her now, sharing her company and listening to her soft voice, made it impossible to ignore the fact that he liked her. A lot. And it was messing with his head and his intentions. He’d suggested they be friends when it was the last thing he wanted. But if he made a move for anything else, he knew he’d make a mess of it. She was a nice woman. Too nice to fool around with. He wasn’t a saint, but he wasn’t a complete ass, either. If he asked her out, if they dated and started a relationship, she’d want more of him than he could give. And he wasn’t ready for that. The truth was, Brant wasn’t sure he ever would be.
“Thanks for coming today,” he said and drank some coffee.
Lucy smiled. “No problem. I like your uncle. I like you, too,” she admitted. “Even though you can be an idiot.”
Her bluntness amused him and Brant grinned. “So...friends?”
“Isn’t that what we already agreed?”
“Just making sure we’re on the same page.”
