by Bri Stone
I couldn’t get enough of her, ever. Her taste, her softness, her heart.
“I love you so much.” I spoke against her chin. I felt her smile.
“I love you too.” She whispers.
Her bralette didn’t have a hook so I pulled it over her head. She smiled up at me as she bit her lip.
“Are you going to tell me why we’re here?”
“After.”
She rolled her eyes and sighed.
I trail kisses on her clavicle and down her sternum. I move over to her left breast circle my lips around her nipple, I use my middle finger to do the same to the other. Her sighs turn into groans as she silently begs for more. Her hand clenches the skin of my triceps as I continue.
“Thom...”
I revel in the sound of her sighs. I lave my tongue over her nipple as I twist and pull the other between my fingers. Perrie groans and grips me tighter. I love the sounds she makes, her breathless sighs and curdled groans.
I move down her body, holding her at her waist as I kiss her over her panties. She groans as I breathe in her scent with a deep inhale. Her scent floods my senses, the stark feminine scent and her lilac body splash invades me. She widens her legs and I see her wetness staining her blue panties.
I look up at her. She smiles back as she bites her lip. I use my index and middle finger to rub her swollen clit. I feel her throbbing through the fabric and I rub harder, faster; until I can’t bare not tasting her. I pull her panties off.
I start at her right knee, kissing my way up her leg as my hand traces the other. Her skin is so soft, luscious, and sends sparks to my lips. I reach the apex of her thighs and move to the other leg. Her sighs grow louder as my breath passes over her sex. Swollen, throbbing, my favorite shade of pink.
I leave almost no part of her thighs unkissed or untouched on my way back to the prize. When I lay my lips over her clit she trembles and traps my head between her thighs. Her legs form a vice around my shoulders. I look in her eyes as I lave my tongue over every inch of her. The scientific terms run through my head, but I lick, kiss, and bite her everywhere. I feel her pulse against my lips as I close around her clit and flick her with my tongue.
I work in hard lines, zig zags, left and right. Until she is screaming and riding my face. Her fingers are in my hair and she pulls hard as she latches me to her. I’m practically humping the bed to relieve the pressure in my dick.
“Thom...Thom...Thom!” Perrie squeals, and then her body freezes before erupting into tiny tremors. Her orgasm lasts five, maybe ten seconds. I enjoy every second of it.
She pulls me up to kiss her as she smiles. She takes off my boxers and rolls us over. Her sex hovers above me as she deepens the kiss. I groan when she takes me in her hand and squeezes. Her thumb folds over my tip, picking up the drops already forming there.
I squeeze her ass as I move toward her hand working me.
She pulls her lips from mine. She kisses my jaw, down my neck. Then she nibbles on my ear and I nearly growl. I cup her face and bring her lips back to mine. With her other hand, she traces my chest and abs with her fingers, moving down—down until she reaches my balls and fondles them. I shudder and think I’m about to get off from this alone.
She smiles against my lips and I nibble on her lower lip. She moves herself over me and presses. I grip her waist and sit up, she wraps her legs around me and then I’m buried so deep inside her I can’t see straight.
Until I look in her eyes.
And then I see everything.
I see her pleasure, her pain, her love. I don’t look away. Not as she rides me faster, deeper, not as she clenches around me until her eyes close. I kiss her jaw, bite her chin, suck the skin of her neck down to her clavicle and continue kissing every inch of her. She moans, her groans grow louder. She grips my shoulders and rides me faster. Her hips twitch as her body trembles with pleasure. She can barely contain herself. I move my hands down to her hips and move with her.
Her chest falls on mine. I feel her nipples rub against me, the softness of the mounds of her breasts as she holds me until there is almost no space between us. I use one hand to cup her face and bring her eyes to mine.
“You feel so good, baby.”
“Yeah?” She breathes. A mewl escapes her parted lips.
“Yeah. So fucking good.” I grunt. My body is hot. My muscles relax as I fall closer to coming.
“You fill me up so good.” She whispers. She brings her finger to my mouth and I suck the pad of her thumb. She moans, and her eyes loll back. She focuses back on me.
I slow our thrusts down. I feel every inch. In and out. Over and over.
“I want to feel you come, baby.” I bring her down on me harder. She gasps with the new pressure. I do it again. Again.
“Fu—...Thom.” Her fingers grip my face, her hand moves down to my neck and I watch her chest flush as she comes. Her breasts swell and her nipples pale as her body releases the pleasure.
Her sex grips me tighter and it’s almost hard to move deep inside her. It doesn’t matter anyway. I’m already coming. I bury myself deep inside of her and hold her close as I empty myself inside her. She kisses me; hungry and passionate as we both come down. She pulls away, our lips against each other as we breathe heavily.
A few moments later, I pull out of her with a sigh.
“I look forward to my birthday now.”
Chapter Twenty: Perrie
WE SHOWER TOGETHER and head down to the kitchen. Houston is always hot, even at the end of October. I wear jeans and a gray V-neck. Thom wears jeans and one of his crimson, short sleeved Henleys.
“Do you want to eat here?” Thom asks me.
I start a pot of tea. I turn around and give him a funny look. He is leaning over the counter with a sexy smirk on.
“Are you going to tell me why you whisked me away? How did you know I didn’t have work today?” I cock my head to the side.
“Your schedule has been the same for five months.”
I roll my eyes. He just got lucky. I make the chai tea and sit on the counter under the island. His face is a foot away from me and he still hasn’t told me why we’re here.
“I wanted to take you somewhere.”
I’m halfway through my tea. I set it down and look at him under my strained brows.
“I don’t want you to get mad. And I definitely don’t want to ruin your birthday. But...”
“But?” I pry.
My brain racks with possibilities. They all fail. He purses his lips and comes to stand in front of me. His hands go to either side of my hips as he finds my eyes.
“I know your birthday is hard for you because it’s so close to when your mom died. And you haven’t been able to talk about it, not to me.” he sighs. “I want to get through this with you. I think it’s time, and it’s been ten years.”
His voice is unsteady.
Thom is always steady.
My breath hitches with the thoughts of that day. I’ve talked about it in detail with my therapist and with Clem. But never with Thom. He knows the bare minimum. He shared so much about his mother with me already, so it isn’t that we aren’t that close. It takes me way too long to trust him at every lap, I don’t know why.
I take a deep breath and meet his gaze.
“Okay.”
“Okay?” he sounds surprised.
“Yeah. You’re no professional, but I think you’re right.” I manage an unsteady laugh. “Thank you.”
I press my forehead to his. He chuckles and kisses my nose.
“Let’s go get emotional and then have a seafood feast.”
“Why else come to Houston?”
WE DRIVE ALL THE WAY down to Lakeview. Dad wanted mom to be as close to the water as possible. She loved it too, and she was also a marine biologist. But she spent most of her time in the lab, and any possible free time diving.
That was their first clue; the doctors I mean. She could have picked something up out of the water, she dived just two days bef
ore. The tests would have been too invasive, and dad wanted her to just rest in peace. He was okay not knowing. It was his decision, so what I wanted didn’t really matter.
Clem just sided with dad to make things easier, and I understood that now that I’m older. I still wonder though.
My feet trudge over the grass and I faintly feel Thom at my side as I weave through the stones. Someone’s mother, sister, brother, father, friend...they are all here.
We reach my mom and the sky cracks. I haven’t been back here in so long, it seems. But it has only been a year.
Thom says nothing. I say nothing. We stare at the stone marked Nettie Valentine Simmons, Mother, Liver.
It fits. I think of mom and all I think is of her living her life to the fullest.
She never had a middle name, so her last name sort of became her middle name when she married dad. My sister’s middle name is Rose, and mine is Lily. I always thought it had to do with her loving flowers, but she was really mocking the ‘oh so original’ middle names some people have.
She was a character.
“Dad says I’m most like her.” I’m drowning, even though I’m on solid ground in open air.
Thom senses it, and he wraps me in his arms. He pulls me to the grass, and I sit between his legs as my back presses to his chest.
“I never told you the whole story.” I think aloud. My lips press together as I swallow a ball of what I can only describe as a feeling of impending doom. But I know nothing is coming.
Just the truth. Just my walls coming down.
“You don’t have to.” His lips press against my temple and I lean into his touch. I inhale his warmth and comfort.
“I know. But I want to. I always have, it just...I don’t know.”
I shake my head as my breaths tremble. I wet my lips, but it does nothing to cool them down, or to cool my face down.
“That day you told me about your mom during M2, I wanted to tell you even back then. I don’t know why I am this way, but it reminds me of what my dad used to tell me. That my mom was very stubborn, yet level headed. I thought I had all the answers. I thought I knew how to get through med school and residency; on my own. Truth is...I don’t think I could have done it without you. Especially not MSREs.”
We both chuckle once. Mine is pained, but I still feel the same way about that damn exam. Part one and part two.
“She used to ask me to go to work with her a lot. But I wanted my weekends to myself. Even though I hated school and never worked that hard anyway, I wanted to lay around and do nothing on the weekends. At this point, Clem is gone, and dad is home for the winter. So, it’s not a full house. Anyway, I finally went with her on Friday afternoon. She was working on climate sciences, specifically. And it was fun. We had a good time.”
I pause and remember that day. Why is it, that we remember every detail of some days from years ago, and very little from the day just before?
It was ten years ago, and I remember exactly what I wore. How I put my hair in a sideways bun, because that was all the rage at the time. We ate oatmeal and she let me have coffee for the first time. Erm, the first time she saw me drink coffee, at least.
“You guys got along?” Thom asks. His voice is soft.
“Yeah. We were close. Especially since Clem had been gone since I was twelve. I told her everything. That day we were talking about me getting better grades, and that if I didn’t she would take the computer I got for my birthday,” I smile at the sad memory of the last time my mother scolded me, “I promised her I would. Then we went out in the water for a little while, just off the shore to get our feet wet. We did the same thing the next two days. Monday morning, I went to wake her up, and dad was screaming. I remember so much screaming...”
I can barely speak. No, I can barely breathe. Everything is gray and my chest heaves. Thom holds me tighter. I stay on the verge of tears for so long it hurts; that feeling in my throat that clenches and burns until I let the tears fall. They are silent, but not still.
They aren’t new, either.
“It was like...I don’t even know how to describe it. My dad was...I was the one who called 911 and dealt with all the doctors and the paramedics. I called everyone, but there weren’t many people besides Clem. I didn’t even know how to tell her, I just told her to come home. She went to Texas Tech, so she wasn’t far. I remember just waiting and holding dad, or he was holding me. I didn’t want him to see me cry.”
“You were being strong for him.” Thom says evenly.
“I tried to. He lost everything that day, and I can still hear how he felt. How long he cried. It was...I had never seen anything like it. But it was somehow...admirable and it was so heart wrenching at the same time. How is it I didn’t know how much my parents loved each other until I had to watch my dad grieve for my mom? I still wonder.”
“Clem stuck around until she went back for the spring semester, and dad went back to work. He didn’t want to leave me alone, but I insisted I was fine. Around March, my teachers got all concerned and made me see a counselor. It started off as just talking, but that’s when I found out I had high functioning depression. It lasted about a year, and I went to therapy, which helped. It hasn’t really resurfaced since then.”
“High functioning depression? Explain it to me.” Thom is curious and not prying, but cautious as he asks me.
“It isn’t the same for everyone. But for me...I pretty much had no appetite, and rarely slept. But I focused hard on school. I used it as an outlet, I think. I had to succeed, and if I didn’t, I was a failure. I know now, that isn’t true. In therapy it became clear that I was desperately trying to make good on the last promise I made to my mom. Anyway, it hasn’t ever been that bad again.”
I take a deep breath and close my eyes. I see all the pain of that time again. The pretending, so my dad wouldn’t worry. Clem was the only one that got the truth out of me. I didn’t want dad to have to worry about me and grieve over mom at the same time. I came clean a year later, and he looked at me like I was the strongest person he had ever seen. And he once again said I was just like mom in that way.
“What do you feel now?”
I lean into him and open my eyes. It’s so bright I’m almost blinded, and I feel my skin tanning. The salty smell I grew up with comes back like I never even left it. I cannot pinpoint just one emotion, one thing I realized.
“Like I’ve moved on, but I haven’t forgotten. Over the years it’s always been hard around this time, but it has gotten easier. I study because I want to understand and do well, not because I need to keep my brain occupied. I’m healthy—I’m okay, and I don’t feel guilty about it like I thought I would. I’ve learned to live without her, but I know I’m not alone. I have always wanted to tell you about it, every time I was about to I just...couldn’t. I only ever talked to dad and Clem about it, and my therapist. Maybe it would be too real telling you. But I’m glad I did now.”
I swallow and the last of the thick lump goes away. My throat is clear, and breath passes through my nose easily. I feel light, free. I almost feel like I did when I was fifteen, before it all happened.
“You can always talk to me. About anything.” Thom kisses my cheek and I smile meekly.
“I know.” I sigh, it’s almost blissful.
The dull wire still hangs. I’m still sitting on my mother’s grave. But I’m no longer numb. I’m no longer hurting. I’m just accepting what has happened, whatever that means. I will always be afraid of people leaving, of things not going as planned. I will keep trying to live my life, unafraid of every decision I must make.
My phone rings in my purse and I come back to the moment. It’s dad.
“Hi, daddy.”
“Happy birthday, sweetheart!” I hear the smile and joy in his voice and it makes me smile wide.
“Thanks, where are you? What time is it?” It’s barely noon here, but he passes time zones just as easily as one crosses city lines the same day.
“Uh, almost midnight. We�
�re docking in Alaska tomorrow.”
“Oh, okay. That sounds like fun.” I sigh. I do wish he were here, but it was nothing new.
“Oh please. What do you have planned? Is Tommy with you?”
I giggle. “Why do you call him that?” I turn and smile at Thom. He smiles, knowing what I’m talking about. “I’m actually at home. Thom surprised me.”
I don’t even have to talk him up. My dad loves Thom, maybe even more than Declan. It’s odd, considering Declan is a pilot. Maybe it’s because he is older than Clem, I don’t know.
“Oh, good, good. Well, don’t throw a party or anything.” He mocks a warning.
We grew up in a beach house, they always thought we would throw parties. But we never did.
“I won’t. I promise.”
“Uh huh. Well, enjoy your day, sweetheart. I just wanted to tell you happy birthday.”
“I will. Thank you.”
We say our ‘I love yous’ and ‘goodbyes.’
I pull away from Thom and stand up.
“I’m ready to go.” I say, looking at mom’s stone. I smile goodbye and head back towards the car. Thom holds my hand, and we make due on our seafood feast.
Chapter Twenty-One: Perrie
WE DRIVE ALL THE WAY out to the nearest Pappadeaux, and it’s worth it. Especially for their seafood platter and margaritas. I have taken Thom to a few of my favorite places the different times we’ve been to Houston, but this time is different.
“Do you want to go out on the water?” Thom asks me.
My dad has a small fisher’s boat. One could live on it, if they were into the tiny living thing. But we don’t even use it that often. When dad is home, it gets a bit too cold to go out.
