He needs sex.
Something fell over my cheek. I brought my hand up and touched it. Tears.
I see.
It was so simple. The answer was always there. The one I always tried to hide. Only I couldn’t any longer, it was spilling over. I wiped my eyes and laced my fingers into his.
What do I do? I was in love with this demon.
Chapter Eleven
An odd-looking butler walked into the room a few minutes later carrying a pail of water and a sponge. He nodded in greeting before setting it at my feet. His skin had brown spots all over. He looked normal for the most part until he turned and went back out the door and I saw his long feline tail swaying as he did.
I must be getting used to everything because nothing was phasing me anymore. I smiled at myself as I bent down and took the sponge. I squeezed the water out and began to wipe the blood from Killian’s chest. I traveled the sponge across his ribs where most of the blood was and admired him in the process. I wrung the sponge out and repeated the process of cleaning him up. Cold chills broke out over his chest and I looked down to find something to dry him off with.
“He didn’t bring anything to dry him off with,” I mumbled to myself. I was deep in thought when I felt something touch my hand that rested over his chest. I jumped slightly but not enough to make me look silly. He was awake. “How do you feel?” I asked immediately, leaning forward.
He had that groggy look about him as he scanned the room. His hand slid over his damp skin and his eyebrows pinched together. Then he looked at me with a stunned expression. “Are you sponge bathing me?” His voice was thick, hoarse from sleep. I covered my mouth to hide my smile. The way his face lit up when he was caught off guard was surprisingly cute. He looked younger.
And oh, God, I was finding something to obsess over with every little thing he did.
“Yeah, I am.” I dropped the sponge into the blood-colored water. “It only seems fair I do something in return, since I’m the reason you keep getting hurt.”
“Well… this is rather odd.” I arched my eyebrow up as he spoke. He raised up slowly. He was still a bit sluggish so I got up to help him. Once he was sitting up on the bed, his cut shirt caught his attention and he picked it up to examine it. A slow grin played out on his face. “You even ripped my shirt off. See, normally I’m the one—” He cut himself off.
I blushed and planted my butt back in my seat with a groan. “Oh, God, don’t even start. Lincoln was the one that cut your shirt so he could heal you.”
“Spoil a man’s fantasy, you will.” I looked around the room quickly to occupy my mind on something other than him. But there was nothing besides the cabinet of medicine.
He propped his knee up, placing his elbow over it as he ran his fingers through his hair. This might be the first time I had ever seen him look so relaxed. Was it because this was his home? I wanted to know everything I could about him.
I started fiddling with my hands in my lap. “You’re nervous.” He noticed. “Has something happened?” he asked with a hint of worry that was always there when it came to my safety. He was so pale…
He needs sex. The thought kept entering my mind and it wouldn’t let me forget.
“No.” I tried to think of something else. Something important. Like what were we going to do about Fear, but then Killian’s well-being was important to me and he needed what he needed. Then I remembered something else. “I should probably get back home. Mom’s probably really worried about me.”
He moved his feet off the bed and stood with a shrug of his shoulders. “I told you before that time is different here. Weeks spent here is merely minutes in the human world.” He swayed as he spoke.
I jumped up to steady him. “Are you okay?”
Sweet warmth started spreading inside me and my mind hit a fuzzy wall—one that left me hazy and without a care in the world. I molded myself against him like putty and slid my arms around him. His arms wrapped me in his embrace and I sighed happily. Alarms were going off inside my head—this wasn’t us anymore, it was his need taking over my senses, but my brain was far too lax. My body only cared about how good he felt against me—all these intense feelings rippled through me.
I could only focus on touching him. I wanted him. I was burning all over—a terrible ache rested between my thighs. “Killian,” I moaned bringing my hands to his face. His eyes were liquid and trapping mine. His scent—something almost chocolatey and coffee-like—invaded me, it was dangerous and spiraling me further into his hold. “You smell good,” I mumbled, breathing in every bit of him I could take.
In a frenzied rush, Killian threw me on the bed. I looked up at him all dreamy-eyed. Again, those alarms were knocking, telling me this wasn’t right. He let his cut shirt fall off his arms and I took in the magnitude of him. Then he came down over me, his lips seeking mine.
Oh, God.
That was as far as it went. Someone was yanking Killian off me. Through the lust fog, I could see that it was Grim. Slowly, that haze began to fade and I could concentrate on the room. Lincoln stood in the doorway, a hand over his face.
“The whole Underworld will be feeling the effects of his lust.” Lincoln sounded just as rough as I felt. “I’ll leave you to deal with him. I have to go…fuck something.” His words were enough for me to put everything in place. Killian had me under his incubus voodoo again and apparently I wasn’t the only one affected by it. This was by far the strongest it had ever been.
“Was that your seducing thing just now… between us?” I asked him. I knew how ridiculous it sounded, but I didn’t know what he called it. Grim held him steady as he leaned against him. Killian wouldn’t even be standing if Grim wasn’t holding him up.
Shame heated his face as met my eyes. “Shit, Melanie. I’m so sorry, that shouldn’t have happened.”
“You can’t be around her anymore when you’re like this,” Grim told him, and his head fell. My heart dropped.
‘This is happening all because he needs to have sex?” I asked.
Grim nodded. “He’s refusing to give his body what it needs, so his body throws out these pheromones to make sure he gets what he needs to survive.”
“I don’t want to stay away from him just because of that.” The words flew out of my mouth.
Grim sighed. “Just because of that?” he repeated my words sharply. “It’s not okay. It won’t be forever Melanie—”
“The sex…” What was I about to say? I already felt my cheeks on fire. “I can give it to you.” I met Killian’s eyes with all the seriousness I could muster onto my face. My voice wavered, but I knew I was serious even when my heart was roaring in my ear from what I had just offered.
They looked at me for the longest moment before Grim finally brought his hand up to his face and took a deep breath. Killian was a block of stone as his gaze traveled to Grim. “Are you sure she’s not the seducer because I swear it feels like I’m the one being seduced,” Killian groaned.
“I see what you’re saying,” Grim agreed.
He pushed his weight off Grim and staggered toward me. He brought his hand out to hold mine once he was in front of me. My breath became a tangled mess in my throat when I saw the sincerity in his eyes. “Melanie, if we ever have sex, it will be because we both want to, not because I need it.” Something sweet bloomed in my chest from his words. A sweet bubbling sensation—I didn’t realize how happy those words would make me. Suddenly, I was releasing the breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. I didn’t want it to be like that either
But then an ugly, nasty thought interrupted those feelings. I couldn’t shut my mouth up even if it bothered my pride to ask. “Then are you going to have sex with someone else?”
“Never.” That word held more than just a promise.
“But look at you—”
“Don’t worry, you will be with Grim while I’m this way,” he told me.
I sighed out of frustration. “I’m not talking about me!” I hissed. “Will you ple
ase worry about yourself for once instead of me?” He only smiled—one that left me speechless.
“Does that disappoint you?” I was caught by surprise with Grim’s question. Things were changing, even the way I viewed the skeletal being standing behind Killian. He was nothing like Fear. He was my protector, and he deserved the chance for me to understand him. Because when it came down it, Grim and Killian were one and the same. I didn’t get it, but somehow it just made more sense when I viewed them that way.
I nodded. “Yeah.” Then I realized I messed up my answer by mistake. “I mean, no, it doesn’t,” I said quickly.
“See you soon,” Killian said.
I had no idea what the plan was, but I tried to smile.
_________
I told myself that Grim and Killian were one person and now it was making me feel awkward as we walked down the hallway together after leaving Killian alone. I didn’t like that Killian was so weak, but I trusted that the two of them knew he would be okay. I brought my hands together nervously. I wanted to calm myself, but the silence that fell between Grim and I was making it impossible.
“You’re fiddling.” Of course, Grim would notice. I dropped my hands to my sides.
“Oh.” We walked in more silence and I couldn’t bare it any longer. “What happens now?”
“You stay here under my careful watch where I know you will be safe,” was his answer.
“You could do that while I’m back home. I can’t just leave my family alone, what if Fear tries to use them like he has before?”
“Already taken care of. Penny is watching your family.” He opened a door and let me walk through it before following after me. I would get lost in this castle by myself.
“That doesn’t make me feel better. It didn’t seem like she was happy that you are protecting me,” I muttered, feeling aggravated that he would send her to protect my family.
“She wouldn’t disobey my order,” he added as we walked down the stairs. The butler waited for us at the bottom.
I puffed my cheeks out in frustration. There were a million things I wanted to ask when it came to Penny, but they all seemed childish to say out loud. Grim’s footsteps stopped and I leaned my body against the railing of the stairway and peered up at him. I frowned when he just stood there staring at me.
His essence lightened. “Does Penny bother you that much?” He cocked his head to the side amused.
I sighed. “No, why would it?” I couldn’t believe how believable the lie sounded. I started back down the stairs and the words that followed were a sure fail to hide my jealousy. “She just seemed awful touchy and intimate with you… just what is she to you?” I found myself leaning back around to ask.
“In the past, we slept together a few times.” I let his words sink in. “Whatever you’re thinking, it’s not like that.” I felt the jealousy hot against my face, and I hurried to turn and it all happened too quickly. I lost my footing and began to fall. Grim was there to catch me. My back fell against his chest.
All I could think about was how weirdly right it felt… which was very wrong. Grim was no demon, no being with flesh, he was an entity. Grim was Death itself. He was a walking-talking pile of bones covered in leather. I shouldn’t be getting the warm feel-goods from his cold touch.
What happened to him being terrifying to me?
“Are you okay?” he asked while I was still leaning against him.
I moved away from him and tried to control the flood of emotions I was suddenly feeling. “Is her room ready?” Grim asked the butler as we walked the rest of the stairs down.
“Yes, shall I take her to the room?” he answered Grim.
“No, I shall show her. Just make sure to come and get her for dinner.” The butler nodded. Grim stepped past me and I followed. The butler hurried off in a different direction.
We were heading in the direction of the piano and my eyebrows pinched together. There was nothing in the corner—except for the piano. I looked at his back. Was he going to play? “You play the piano?” I asked out of curiosity.
He nodded. “I do.”
“How intriguing,” I mumbled with a bit of disbelief.
He stopped, and his skull twisted around halfway. “How so?” he asked.
“Just… who would think the Grim Reaper played an instrument, let alone a piano.”
“There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Melanie, but that will change in time.” His words sounded intimate and it shut me right up. “Shall I play for you sometime?” When I didn’t answer, he chuckled softly and walked behind the piano. I thought he was going to the piano at first until he pressed his hand against the wall—a door started to form in the wall. The door was wooden with black paneling and circular across the top.
Well, well. This place and him both were full of surprises. “Really?” I muttered, but he ignored me. I walked into the room without him telling me to and he followed. He shut the door behind us.
This was my bedroom? I smiled then frowned in disbelief. There was a huge bed centered against the wall in the back of the room—the bed itself was bigger than my actual room. The room was fully furnished. There was a nightstand, a full-length mirror, a dresser, and an open trunk overflowing with beautiful colored gowns at the foot of the bed. The bedding was black and gold with a black canopy falling around it.
What the crap? It seemed like a lot for a short stay… it was a short stay, wasn’t it?
“Are you not happy with the room?” I could feel him watching me as I moved toward the bed, running my hands across the comforter. So soft.
“Is it really okay for me to use this room?” I asked, a bit skeptical.
“Everything in this room is yours,” he replied. “If you want it.” I felt like there was an innuendo in there.
“Yeah, I mean.” I turned to face him with a smile. “Of course, I will try to make good use of everything while I’m here. Don’t mistake me for one of these girls that refuses gifts to make themselves look good. I’m not that type, more like gimme, gimme, gimme.” Or more like I had never been on the receiving end before. He laughed. “No take backs, okay?” I brought my index finger to my mouth. “Hmm, I wonder with all that power at your disposal if we can somehow bring all this back home with me? Or better yet, let’s take the whole room.” The color of his essence lightened into almost a baby bluish-white color as he shook his head at me and laughed. I wondered what color that emotion was?
“You haven’t seen the best part.” He motioned me with his hands to the empty part of the room.
“I don’t see how—” He snapped his fingers and the wall extended and stretched out to reveal a giant library. “Is this book heaven?” Books everywhere. Shelves and shelves—neatly lined up and categorized. Some books looked new while others looked worn. As I stepped into the extended part of the room, I realized the library had a second story.
“All yours,” he told me.
I couldn’t contain my girly squeal, although, I never even tried. I hurried through the beautiful library and started sliding my hands across the books like the crazy book fanatic I was. “Everything’s been changed into the English language so that you can read them. These are books of the Underworld. It will have everything on demons and anything else you might be curious about. I made sure there were plenty of those erotic romance novels you read added to the library.”
I gave him a curious look. “Are you making fun of me?”
“Not at all.” Strangely, I believed him.
I went and stood back next to him. “Thanks.”
He nodded and rubbed his head. I got the sense that he was feeling awkward or bashful about something. “I appreciate how much you’re trying to make my stay here comfortable, but how long will I be here?”
“Until it’s safe.”
“Is that even a word that we can use in terms with my life?”
“I will always make sure you’re safe, but I will make it so that Fear is no longer a danger to you.”
“Y
ou already said he couldn’t be killed. I’m not safe from him. Ever.”
“I can’t kill him, but there’s always another way.” Which probably meant he still had no idea himself.
“Looks like I’m always relying on you,” I told him. “So, I guess this is where I should tell you to take care of me?” His hand lingered toward my face, but stopped midway and fell back to his side. “Grim?”
“Yes…” Why did I keep expecting him to call me Love the way Killian always did?
“Why haven’t you and Killian merged back together?” I lingered next to one of the bookshelves, drawing lines with my finger over the books.
He turned around with a sigh. “We’ve already tried. Whatever spell Fear used to break the merge is also preventing us from piecing back together. It’s like our bodies are rejecting the merge.”
That made me slightly panicky. “So, you won’t ever be one again?” An awful twist lingered in my gut with the thought. I could tell how much it bothered them to be separated.
“We are going to try again three nights from now on a Blood Moon. In the Underworld, it’s a night of extreme power.”
“Will it work?”
Nothing about the way he carried his shoulders was positive. “I don’t know,” he replied honestly. “What Fear did to us has never happened before. I don’t know what the consequences will be. We were forcefully torn apart.”
I couldn’t even stomach the idea of what he was admitting. They were one and the same when I first met them, that would always be the way I saw them. What if… I shrugged the thought away before I let it consume me entirely.
Lost in thought, Grim touched my shoulder and I jumped. His hand retreated quickly. “Sorry, I was thinking,” I told him, but I wasn’t sure he believed me.
He put distance between us. He was retreating far away from me. His actions left me confused—did he think I jumped because I was afraid of him? “Don’t worry about him, we will figure it out.” He sounded closed off and oddly cold. Then he said something ridiculous, “If we don’t merge, that would make you more comfortable, wouldn’t it?”
'Til Grim's Light (A Grim Awakening Book 2) Page 12
