by Sophia Nash
Nothing.
God, it was hot. Hotter than Hades on midsummer’s night eve. Given his innate fine sense of direction, he was confident that he was at least making progress toward the center and took care to check the location of the sun as he worked his way ever closer.
He didn’t know why he was beginning to panic. It was absurd.
She might be thirsty, or tired, or worried, but she would not be hurt. No one could get hurt in a maze. They could only get lost.
An hour later, panic set in fully. There was something about the place that was downright eerie. The boxwood was too dense.
He remembered hearing Candover say something at some point about how he was going to ignore the entail and tear the whole bloody thing down, it was so dangerous.
Someone—was it a poacher?—had actually perished in here.
He stopped. Yes. Candover had actually said that. He whistled again.
Nothing.
Roman looked at the wall of evergreen before him and took a decision. He put on his gloves, searched the interior and found a medium-sized trunk. He tried to grab it and climb to the top. It was next to impossible. There were thorns on the branches. Since when did boxwood have thorns?
He refused to stop and continued to climb, despite the vicious jabs of the branches. Near the top, the trunk swayed and he lost his grip and half slid, half fell back to the ground.
He cursed and cursed. His gloves were in ribbons as were his clothes. Well. That was not going to work. He picked himself up, ignoring flashes of pain and finally began to seriously run down every possible lane and avenue, yelling her name.
Finally, blessedly, he heard something. He stopped and called again. A feeble voice said something unintelligible in the distance.
“Esme!” He shouted again. “Please, please keep talking. I will find you. Stay where you are!” He prayed she would do as he bid.
He kept shouting to her every few moments, and listened hard for any response. A wisp of her voice drifted back to him, but it was different and it filled him with unease.
Another half hour passed in utter frustration. He was terrified he was getting farther away from her instead of nearer. He stopped again and closed his eyes, trying to remember the elaborate geometric design he had viewed from the hill.
And then finally, he turned a corner and saw her lying on the ground.
Chapter 12
Roman dropped to his knees in gratitude. He half crawled, half ran to her. He grasped her hand in his and squeezed.
Her eyes barely slit open. What he saw made him ill. One of her eyes was very bloodshot, and that side of her face was scratched. Her gown was torn, and her arms marred by long scratches too.
“March!”
Her eyes opened more fully. “Montagu,” she whispered.
He leaned down to hear her better.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “So sorry for everything.”
He pulled out a flask he had tucked into the back of his breeches. He uncorked it, cradled her head, and dribbled a little brandy between her lips.
She coughed and then moaned.
“What is it?” He demanded hoarsely.
“I will never be able to thank you enough,” she whispered. “It was so stupid of me. I know better than to come here.”
“Stop it,” he gritted out.
“You’re bleeding,” she said unevenly.
“Stop,” he insisted. “Can you not walk?”
“I tried to climb there.” She pointed to a place that showed almost no trace of her attempt. “But I stupidly fell. My foot . . . I don’t know what’s wrong with it.”
He glanced down and moved to her feet. He felt beneath her torn stockings and one ankle was swollen.
When he squeezed slightly, she did not make a sound. “It might be sprained or even broken, my darling,” he said with concern.
“I guessed as much,” she whispered and lowered her head to the ground.
But she was far too listless. Something was off in her manner. “March, what is it? Something else is wrong. Tell me where it hurts.”
She closed her eyes and he rushed back up to her face.
She said something but he could not make it out.
“Tell me. March, please. I beg of you.”
Her eyes closed, she said, “Head . . . my . . .”
He gently felt her head beyond the tangle of her pretty light brown hair. His fingers came away sticky and wet; the back of her head was full of blood.
It was just like the night when his brother had . . .
He lost every button of his shirt as he immediately yanked it over his head and tore it into strips.
“March,” he ordered brusquely. “Open your eyes and listen to me.”
She murmured something.
“Just listen to me. Do not fall asleep. Do not. Stay here with me.” He tried to be as gentle as he could as he bound her head with the linen strips, to stem the loss of blood.
Her eyes fully closed.
“March, open your eyes, I tell you.”
They fluttered open.
“Do you remember the night of the storm? Do you remember when you told me to take your hand and told me you were there? I am ordering you to do the same, do you understand?” When she did not respond, he continued. “Squeeze my hand.”
He felt a gentle pressure in his grip. “All right. Now, drink more of this.” He held her head and poured a few more drops.
And then, with the meager amount of luck a cursed duke could count on, he heard voices.
He stood up and shouted as loudly as he could. And then he took off his boots.
For what seemed like hours, he tossed first one then the other as high as he could in the air, past the top of the tall wall of boxwoods. He took care to aim properly for if he lost the boots, there would be no way for them to be found.
Every two minutes, he would stop and drop to her side, to tell her he was there and to stay with him.
She would squeeze his hand.
And then she stopped squeezing his hand.
“Esme, my love, please . . . please try to stay here with me. I won’t leave you. Truly I will not.”
He closed his eyes and remembered all her tenderness, her wit, her desire to always please and bring a measure of happiness to everyone.
And what had he given her in return? He had protected her reputation, and he had promised her another fortune, which she did not need. And he had told her she should go live her life.
Alone.
He had wanted no bloody ties. He didn’t want anyone to have an ounce of a reason to depend on him for anything except money.
He didn’t want to depend on anyone for anything. Because to depend on anyone except yourself always led to unmitigated disaster. He would be born alone, and die alone. It was better to know it and live life that way. All the people who fluttered in and out of one’s life were naught but other creatures caught in the same cycle of life. Most were under the grand illusion that they were tied to other people—that they were not alone.
But it was not true.
He did not, and could not, depend on anyone. Except . . .
He looked down at her bruised and bloodied form, and his heart broke. “March, damn it all, I love you. Come on. Don’t go away. You cannot. I am”—his throat clogged—“I am depending on you. Please.”
Her fingers fluttered like a small bird in his hand.
And just like that, they were found.
Esme lay in her bed, gazing at the shadowed scene she had painted so many years ago. Night had finally fallen, but ironically, she was too tired to sleep. She tried not to feel the pain that had been radiating from the back of her head and her ankle for the last day and a half.
She tried instead to remember what had happened when Roman Montagu had found her in the maze. Some of the moments were so clear. His warm, rumbling voice. The startling depths of his clear blue eyes filled with concern. She thought she might have seen him throwing something
up in the air. But through it all, he had tended to her—in a way she had never experienced in her life. No man ever took care of her. She didn’t like it, really. She preferred to be the one to give than the one to receive.
She had never seen Roman Montagu in this fashion. He had tried desperately to comfort her, and to ensure that she not drift toward unconsciousness. It would have been so easy. But would it have been dangerous? She didn’t know, but apparently, he knew of such things.
She remembered nothing of the journey from the maze back to Derby Manor.
There was really only one thing she remembered with crystal clarity. Some of the words he had uttered as she had been about to let herself fall into darkness.
“March, damn it, I love you. Don’t go. I am depending on you. Please . . .”
He was the last person in the world she could ever imagine saying those words. Had he said them in an all-out effort for her not to swoon away? Or had he truly meant them?
He couldn’t really love her, could he? And what did love really mean anyway? He had made it very clear that he wanted the freedom and independence of a life apart from her. He did not seem to be the sort who would choose to actually depend on anyone.
There was a light tap at the door, and it opened with a small creak. It was he.
She tried to sit up.
He came forward. “No, don’t move. I don’t want to disturb your rest, Esme. But I brought you a little tea. Your mother told me you had very little to eat.”
“I like it better when you call me March,” she said.
“All right,” he said with a smile, “March.”
He placed the tray on the side table and rearranged the pillows without any of the finesse of a true nurse. He then drew up a chair, placed the tray on his lap and plucked three lumps of sugar and plopped them into the dish of tea. It warmed her heart that he had obviously noticed how she liked her tea.
He waved away her hand and placed the cup to her lips. “Drink,” he said simply.
The tea was cold, but she drank it all, slowly and in silence.
“Your easel, and paints, and canvases are all recovered,” he said.
She took the cup from his tense fingers and placed it on the saucer. “It wasn’t worth it,” she replied.
“What wasn’t worth it?”
“My things. That maze is far too dangerous.”
He didn’t reply.
“You retrieved them, didn’t you?” She examined his handsome face.
“It was not so very difficult when Verity gave me the map.”
She closed her eyes. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “I should have told someone where I was going.”
“Where were you going?”
“Verity had told me once a long time ago that there was a lovely sculpture garden in the center of the maze. I wanted to see it and maybe paint it.” She bowed her head. “But I detest dramatics. And I am so sorry to have caused everyone such worry.”
“Ah,” he said, with a small smile that revealed only the edges of his teeth. “Now you know precisely how I felt after that storm.”
“Did you feel this embarrassed?”
“And much worse, I assure you. But you have nothing to be embarrassed about. You follow directions well, and you did not cry. I wish I could say the same.”
She started to smile but it hurt her face.
“Are you ready to sleep a little?”
“Of course,” she answered without meaning it.
He examined her face carefully. “You know, you are going to have to stop doing that with me.”
“What do you mean?”
“You are going to have to stop agreeing to everything and causing the least amount of trouble for everyone.”
She couldn’t respond.
“You can do that to everyone else—especially your mother, who I never would have imagined could be so worried given her good humor. But with me, March, you are going to have to be yourself.”
“How ridiculous,” she murmured. “You are speaking of simple courtesy. One must show courtesy at all times or we are nothing but wild animals.”
His eyes darkened. “Perhaps, I might like to see the wild animal from time to time. The one I saw the night we met.”
She held his gaze, transfixed.
“But now is not the time,” he said gently, once more. He stood up and placed the tray on the long table. “Would you like for me to read to you a bit?” He picked up the book about art in Vienna.
“Not really,” she replied.
“Good,” he said, moving next to her bed again. “What would you like, then?”
It was so hard to tell him. She forced herself to remember his words and hoped he had meant at least a small part of them at the time. She hated asking him or anyone for anything. “I should like it if you would sleep beside me.”
“Ah,” he murmured. “Very good. Not even one word suggesting that you would only like it if it did not inconvenience me. Which it very much does not by the way.”
He crossed to the door and locked it, then returned to her, removing his watch and fob along the way. He placed them carefully beside the tray, and slowly, but in that efficient manner of his, removed his clothes with the exception of his unbuttoned, nearly translucent linen shirt.
He looked at her for a long moment before he pinched out the candle near her bed. In the darkened room, his deep voice comforted her. “Don’t move, March. I’m going to crawl in on the other side.”
His solid weight moved close to her in the darkness, and he pulled up the covers. He arranged the heavy weight of his body alongside hers and then, very gently gathered her into his arms, taking care with her head to place it in the cradle of his shoulder.
He was so warm, and he smelled of soap and exotic spices. “Are you all right, like that?” His voice rumbled through her.
“Yes. Perfect.” She sighed.
“Good. Now let’s sleep.” He gently placed a kiss on her brow.
“All right,” she replied. She knew better. There was not a chance of her being able to sleep.
He loosened his grasp a little, and within a few moments, she heard the hitch in his breathing that signaled he was falling into slumber’s grasp.
She wanted to cry. She really did. But she worried the wetness of her tears would wake him. Instead she regulated her breathing and tried to sleep.
A moment later, his strong arms clasped her closer to him for a moment before relaxing again. “Are you all right, March?” he asked sleepily.
“Yes, thank you. Better than all right.”
“Good,” he said and drifted again toward sleep.
She wasn’t sure if she could sleep in his arms. She had never slept in anyone’s arms. Oh, she had always slept in her marital bed. On the left side. The indentations on each side of the bed were fairly deep. She had thought she enjoyed being sprawled out on her side of the bed. She snuggled closer to Roman.
“March,” he asked with weariness.
“Yes,” she whispered, surprised he was awake.
“I won’t sleep unless you do.”
“I’m not sure I can,” she replied. “I’ve had too much rest, I think.”
“Are you certain you’re comfortable like this?”
She nodded as she couldn’t speak.
“Good.”
He waited a moment before he continued. “Then just rest, my love. I am here if you need anything. Anything at all.”
“Thank you, Montagu,” she whispered. He had called her his love. Again, when he had not been terrified for her safety. And it warmed a very small place in her heart that she did not know existed.
She joined him in slumber within moments.
For seven days and six nights, Esme’s convalescence passed thusly. During the day, she was coddled by her mother, and Verity, who refused to discuss anything about Abshire.
The problem was that Verity was just as good as she at concealing her thoughts and sensibilities. Usually, Esme could wheedle i
t out of her given enough time, and energy. But, she was depleted of the latter, and her mother rarely left them alone.
William was allowed to visit for an hour each afternoon. He was very dutiful in his attentions, encouraging her more than ever to begin planning the revised trip. He was so very kind to her, even suggesting he would accompany her since she might need his physical support due to her ankle. Something kept her from agreeing to his suggestion.
Toward the end of the week, the doctor consented to her drawing as long as she remained in bed.
During the nights, Roman came to her, and held her all through the darkness. He never spoke of the day in the maze or what he had told her and she didn’t dare raise the subject.
Instead, over the course of the week she gradually succumbed to the strong, silent comfort of his arms. After that first night, she slept solidly, and recovered more quickly than anyone could have predicted, most especially the doctor.
Esme was most surprised by the Duke of Abshire, who condescended to visit the last day she was confined to her room.
“I see you will live, then.”
“If only to go fishing with you again, Your Grace.”
“How absurd.” A sly smile slid onto his face. “Is Norwich taking care of you?”
Esme could feel a blush overtake her.
“Oh, we’ll have none of that,” Abshire snorted. “Well, is he? Shall I thrash him if he is not?”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” she said, hiding her amusement. “He has been enormously kind.”
He stared at her, and she could see an internal debate clouding his face.
“Is there something you want to say to me?” she asked.
“No. It’s the opposite,” he admitted. For the first time ever, she watched a rueful expression cross his features.
Amusement filled her. “How about this? I’ll look the other way, and you can just spit it out and leave. Then we’ll both pretend you never said anything.”
He threw back his head and roared with laughter. She was so pleased he had actually made the effort to see her.
He winked. “Agreed. Turn the other way.”
She did as he bade, and stared at the blank wall.
