by Vikki Vaught
He stiffened. Roderick’s comments regarding Lady Kathryn were annoying. “I’m not interested in her that way. You’re worse than those marriage-mad mamas who are always trying to get me to talk to their daughters. Lady Kathryn and I have agreed to become friends, nothing more. Will you please leave it alone?”
His brother sighed. “As you wish. Although, I had the impression you were attracted to each other. Let us send for Elaine so we can tell her she’s coming for a visit.”
When Elaine joined them, Jonathan told her about his plans for her. She clapped her hands together. “You’re the best brother in the world. I would love to go. How long may I stay?”
“Three or four weeks,” he replied. “I shall come for you the first of August. Oh, and you may take a holiday from your studies.”
“Oh, thank you. I will have ever so much fun.” She turned to Roderick. “May I go out on your yacht?”
Roderick hugged her. “Of course. I remember how much you love the sea.” He inwardly sighed. He would miss all of them so much, but it was the right decision for Elaine.
That night, Jonathan awoke fighting his bed sheets, yet again. He tried to fight temptation but needed something to calm his nerves. He would drink one glass of whiskey, only enough to take the edge off. His hand shook as the amber liquid filled the crystal glass.
As soon as the whiskey entered his bloodstream, his heart rate slowed and his body relaxed. It was the most amazing feeling in the world. The scotch took away his aches and pains and dimmed the images from the horrific nightmare.
Since he must arise early to see Roderick and his family off, he would only drink one more glass and no more. After that glass, his resolve faltered. He swilled the scotch until he passed out and dropped the empty bottle on the floor.
The next morning, Jonathan’s eyes cracked open when someone shook him. He looked into Hatton’s face with Roderick staring over the man’s shoulder. He dropped his head in his hands.
A sledge hammer pounded at his temple. “I had another bad dream. I was only going to drink one glass. I know you’re disappointed, but no more than I. Let me dress, and I shall meet you downstairs in thirty minutes.” As Roderick left the room, he looked back at him with troubled eyes. Shame washed over him.
Devil take it.
Why can I not leave liquor alone?
It was the whiskey…it had to be. If he left it alone…he’d be fine. From now on, he would only drink wine and perhaps a little brandy. He had to find a way to manage his alcohol consumption.
His valet handed him his restorative, and he tossed back the bitter concoction. Hatton shaved him, and he went downstairs to see his family off. As the carriage pulled away, they waved to him. Even though he would miss Elaine, she deserved a break from her studies.
Sighing, he went to his study and slumped into his leather chair. Then he remembered his nine o’clock appointment with Lady Kathryn. It was already after eight. He rushed to the stables as quickly as he could—damn his blasted knee. He had Demon saddled and was soon on his way to town.
As Jonathan made his way to Bath, he remembered his brother’s disappointment, and it tore at his gut. The pity in Roderick’s eyes had cut him deep. Going forward, he would not drink any more whiskey. When he returned home, he’d have all of it tossed out.
The closer he drew to Bath, the better he started feeling. Lady Kathryn was a stunning woman. Too bad she’s a lady. He would love to have her in his bed. Unfortunately, that could never happen.
He needed a woman. That was the problem. He was not used to going without. It had been over a week since he had visited Madame Angela’s. Once he was through with his sitting, he would go there. The soft body of a woman would relieve the sexual tension.
Ah…yes, an excellent plan.
He arrived by nine, and the butler showed him to Lady Kathryn’s studio. When he stepped inside the room, he was again struck by her beauty. she wore her glorious red hair casually caught up at the top of her head with tendrils curling around her delicate face. He wanted to run his fingers through those thick tresses.
Hell’s bells, he needed a woman.
He approached her, took her hand, and brought it to his lips while gazing into her lovely eyes. “Good morning, ma’am. I trust you are feeling well.”
“I am in good health. Please take a seat. I shall explain my process.” A gentleman never sat before a lady, so once she sat, he did as well. “Today, I shall do several preliminary sketches. Have you thought about how you want to be portrayed?”
Jonathan contemplated her question a moment. “I do not want to be dressed in formal attire. I prefer to dress much as I am today. I want to appear relaxed in my portrait. Will that be a problem?”
“Not at all,” she replied. “When I painted my brother, he wore riding clothes. Is that what you have in mind?”
“It is. Should I wear the same clothes to each sitting?” he asked.
She shook her head. “Not until I’m ready to paint. During these first sittings, I shall sketch you in several different positions to find what will work best for you. I hope you can come at least two times a week, more would be preferable.”
He tapped his chin. “Since you want me in the morning, three times a week is the best I can do. I normally ride my estate each morning with my steward, so Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday would be best. Will those days fit your schedule?”
“Excellent. Since I’m on holiday, I can be as flexible as you need. Now that we have that settled, will you sit by the window, and I shall start.” He moved to the straight-back chair. “Think of something pleasant while I sketch. Tell me a little bit about yourself. Do you enjoy reading?”
He shifted in his seat. “What I like best is riding. I’m sure you’ve noticed I limp, and when I’m on a horse, I’m more comfortable. I do enjoy a good book occasionally, and I also like music. I play the pianoforte. I used to love dancing, but that is no longer possible.”
Lady Kathryn continued sketching as they talked. “Tell me about Demon. Have you had him long?”
He smiled. “I bought him once I had healed enough to attempt riding. At first, I had great difficulty. The surgeons told me I would never walk again, let alone ride. Demon is very in tune to me. He responds to the slightest pressure and my voice command. I was fortunate to find him.”
As he talked, he observed Lady Kathryn. Her hands were in constant motion. It was fascinating to watch. She held her head a little to the side as she concentrated and bit her bottom lip. He was getting aroused imagining what it would be like to kiss her. His breeches grew taut across his loins.
Clearly, he needed a woman, and fast, if he would be coming three times a week. And of course, there was no chaperone.
“My sister loves to ride. She and her husband live on the Devonshire coast, and they ride along the shore when weather permits. I enjoy riding, but not as much as my sister. You mentioned you were injured eight years ago. May I ask how it happened?”
While he did not talk of his injury, for some reason, he wanted to tell her. “When Bonaparte escaped from Elba, I joined the army. Oh, by the way, I met your brother while we waited for Napoleon to act. During the battle, my horse was shot out from under me. A Frenchman took advantage when I fell to the ground. Fortunately, my brother refused to allow the surgeon to remove my leg. I’m grateful he was there. While I hate the limp, I prefer that to the alternative. I rarely complain because I’m lucky I survived when so many others perished.”
She stopped drawing and glanced at him. “That still does not negate your suffering. My brother was injured at Waterloo as well, but he does not talk of that time.”
Not surprising. “I understand why. I recall you lost your father several years ago. That’s when your brother inherited his title, was it not?”
Her eyes misted, and she blinked several times. “I lost my eldest brother and my father—both within a matter of weeks. Thank goodness we still had Henry to inherit because there were no other males on my father�
��s side of the family.”
“That must have been a dreadful time for your family,” He developed a cramp and flexed his leg. “I lost my father five years ago. We were close. The only time I remember arguing with him was before we went to fight Bonaparte. He worried the entire time we were gone and was devastated when I returned so wounded.”
“I imagine that was a difficult time,” she replied. “When Henry left to fight, we were terrified, especially his wife. I’m sorry you were injured.”
“After I returned, and could move around, I spent most of my time in London,” Jonathan admitted. “My regretful behavior caused my father a great deal of concern. I should have helped him run the marquisate. When he died of a heart seizure, guilt overwhelmed me because I was not with him when it happened.”
Lady Kathryn resumed sketching. “I’m sure your father knew you loved him, even if you were not there. My father’s heart felled him as well. He only lived for a few days. Henry had gone to London when it happened, but he managed to return before he died.”
He gazed at her, once more transfixed, as he watched her nibble her bottom lip and wished he could taste her. I must resist this temptation. He moved to ease the tightness in his breeches. Thank God his riding coat should cover his arousal.
She laid her pencil down. “That’s enough for today. When you come on Tuesday, I shall do sketches of you standing. You may rest between sketches. Will that be difficult for you?”
“I rarely have problems standing. It’s walking that causes me issues. I’m amazed I’ve been here for two hours. May I see your sketches?”
She paused. “I do not usually allow my subjects to see my work until it’s complete.”
“That’s fine.” He stood and bowed to her. “I shall take my leave of you until Tuesday.”
“Let me show you out. I want to thank you again for the commission. I think you’ll be pleased with the final result.” She walked with him until they reached the foyer, then she turned him over to the butler.
Once outside, Jonathan led his horse to a mounting block. He made his way to Madame Angela’s. He was so aroused from the time spent with Lady Kathryn, he needed a woman in the worst way. A flicker of guilt nagged at him, but he had no reason to feel that way. After all, he’d only met the woman six days ago, and he had no plans to court her. God forbid.
When he arrived, Madame Angela curtsied. “Good afternoon, Lord Sutherland. It’s a pleasure to see you. Where is your friend, Baron Jenkins?”
Jonathan flashed her a smile. “Jenkins has returned to his estate, so I am alone today.”
Madame Angela smiled suggestively. “I’m sure you will find what you need here. Please look around and select any of my ladies.”
Glancing at the women draped on the furniture in a suggestive manner Jonathan spied a tall, gorgeous redhead. He pointed toward her. “I want her. What is her name?”
“You have very good taste, my lord. That is Suzette, and she’s just arrived from Paris. You’ll be pleased with her.” Madame Angela motioned to the woman. “Suzette, Lord Sutherland wants to spend time with you this afternoon. Take him upstairs so you can entertain him in private.”
Suzette’s hips gently swayed as she walked up the stairs. His desire spiraled upward as anticipation of what was to come raced through him. When they entered her chamber, she led him to the bed. Suzette gazed seductively at him and stroked his cock through his breeches. He grew even harder. As she rubbed against him, she slowly unbuttoned his fall, reached inside and took his rigid member into her hand.
As she stroked him, Lady Kathryn’s beautiful face flashed through his mind. Closing his eyes, he imagined it was her touching him. His desire spiked to fever pitch. Suzette leaned over and took him into her mouth and started sucking and running her tongue along his shaft.
Again, he imagined Lady Kathryn doing that. He pulled Suzette up, leaned her over the bed, and entered her from behind. He stroked in and out, harder and faster, all the time picturing Lady Kathryn’s face. In mere seconds, he exploded in a powerful climax.
Jonathan had never reached satisfaction so quickly, at least not since he was a green lad with his first whore. As he returned to earth, embarrassment and shame overtook him. His visualization of Lady Kathryn was not well done. In a way, he felt like he had betrayed her, which made no sense. Even though he desired her, since she was an innocent, nothing could come of it.
He buttoned his breeches. “Thank you for an enjoyable time. I shall tell Madame you pleased me.”
Suzette batted her lashes. “Do you not want anything more? I could revive you, if you will let me.” She reached for him, but he backed away.
“No, that’s not necessary. You’ve more than satisfied me. Here’s a little extra for the enjoyable time you’ve given me. I shall take my leave.”
While his afternoon at Madame Angela’s had been erotic, he should not have allowed thoughts of Lady Kathryn to fuel his fantasies. He must never do that again. If he could not stop thinking of her, he must do without sex until he was over this obsession with her.
CHAPTER 6
July 1823
Kathryn watched as Jonathan departed. She was now thinking of him as “Jonathan” ever since his sister-in-law had used his given name. In her sketches, she was able to capture the sad expression in his brilliant blue eyes. She longed to see him smiling and happy. She just knew he would have a dazzling smile with those even, white teeth and that sensual mouth. Every time she was around him, she experienced odd sensations coursing through her body, and it was very disturbing. These sensations were new to her, and she was not sure what caused them, but she wished they would stop.
Oh, goodness, I must stop thinking of him.
She never thought about other men this way. It was such a shame his knee had been severely injured at Waterloo. So many fine young men either lost their lives or were permanently injured in that terrible battle. It all seemed so senseless to her. She realized Waterloo had been necessary, but it still did not make any sense to her.
War was so brutal, and she wished it did not exist. Of course, wars had been around since the beginning of time, and there would be other wars in the future. She prayed there was not another one in her lifetime.
Her heart went out to him. She had sensed a keen sense of guilt over not being there when his father died. It must be horrible to live with those feelings. If he could let go of it, he would be a happier man. She looked forward to getting to know him better. She definitely found him fascinating.
Why am I thinking so much about him?
Dismissing the worrisome thought, Kathryn returned to her studio and put away her drawing supplies. She pinned the drawings she’d made of Jonathan to the canvas on her easel and stood back, looking them over. His eyes had quite a few lines at the corners, and he looked bone-weary tired. Did he have trouble sleeping? Henry had suffered from nightmares for years after his injuries at Waterloo. That could be what troubled Jonathan, and why he might have problems finding his rest.
Kathryn understood nightmares. She’d suffered from them since she was young, along with sleepwalking. Her nightmares were brought on by the abuse she’d suffered at the hands of her uncle, Viscount Manningly. Her mother’s brother could do no wrong. He’d visited frequently while she was growing up.
Uncle Theodore started abusing her when she turned six, and it continued until she was sixteen. That Christmas, he’d tried to rape her, but Henry and Melody stopped him before he could finish. Of course, they did not know it, but her uncle had raped her many times.
She’d been twelve the first time he took her against her will, but before that, he’d made her do disgusting things. Even when she was six, he would get her alone and touch her. As the years went by, his depravity grew worse. She had a hard time understanding why he had picked her. He told her it was because she was bad, and he needed to show her the error of her ways, but she always thought something must be wrong with her, causing him to choose her.
Still to t
his day, every time Kathryn remembered what he did made her ill, especially when she recalled how he made her take him in her mouth. The rapes themselves had been horrific, but the other thing was worse. It was because of her horrible experience with her uncle that she’d taken her vow to remain unwed. As much as she would like to have children, she could never stand to be intimate with a man.
She would shower all her maternal love on her dear nieces and nephews. Henry and Melody had four children. Helen had four children as well, and she looked forward to seeing them in November when she went to paint the Marquess and Marchioness of Ralston.
Yes, I am truly blessed with my nieces and nephews.
She looked over at the clock on the wall and noticed it was almost time for luncheon. She hurried to her room to freshen up before she went down to join her mother.
Kathryn entered the dining room, sat across from her mother, and the footman served her. While they ate, her mother asked, “How did the sitting with Lord Sutherland go this morning? Did you have a chance to talk while you were sketching? I’m sure he’s an interesting gentleman.”
“The sitting went well, and I managed to do quite a few sketches that will help when I start painting him. He actually met Henry in Brussels shortly before that terrible battle. Lord Sutherland was a captain in the army, just as Henry was, so they met before the battle. In fact, that was how he was injured. From what he said, he’s most fortunate he didn’t lose his limb. Do you have plans for this evening?”
“Oh, my, yes,” her mother declared. “We are attending the opera. I remember you’ve always loved that. I want you to enjoy your visit with me. Do you realize this is the first time we’ve spent time together without the rest of the family around? I’m so pleased you agreed to come.”
Surprisingly, she was enjoying this time with her mother. They had never been close, so perhaps this was the ideal opportunity to forge a closer bond. “Bath is such a lovely city, and your townhouse is beautiful. What opera is playing tonight?”
