“Tor!” I cried, momentarily forgetting my feet, my fear, my isolation. I stood and approached him with a smile.
He kicked the door closed behind him, which gave Elgon just enough time to jump inside before it latched shut. “Hi,” he grumbled, sidestepping me.
My smile fell and shattered on the ground.
Elgon lay down on the floor, panting but wagging his tail as he looked into my eyes.
“Hi.” I returned to my place on the bed and began repacking my few possessions.
Tor sat on the ground next to Elgon and took off his boots. His head was bent, and his attention drifted to somewhere in the ether behind me.
I placed most of my things in the bag and began combing my hair. It was knotted from sleeping on it the night before and dunking my head into the sink, but pulling the teeth through tangled strands eased some of my stress. The movement was monotonous but purposeful, soothing in a strange way. The stillness in the room was comforting, despite the tension rolling off Tor from his place on the floor. I’d never had a family before, but the three of us were connected. Just being together brought me a kind of peace. Pulling my tresses back, I slipped the barrette my mother had found into my hair, then cinched it at the base of my neck.
“Agro stands for Agriculture,” Tor stated, his gaze distant. His fingers scratched behind Elgon’s ears, slowly and rhythmically. “But they didn’t have me grow anything. They harvest everything at once and kill anything that comes near what they consider theirs. Once the field has been harvested, they destroy anything that’s left so no one else can have it.”
He looked up at me, a sadness glistening in his eyes. “Sera, my job was to burn what they couldn’t use. My job was to burn everything. They gave me this thing, like a gun, but it shot fire and....”
“Gods.”
“I hate it here,” he confessed.
“I know.”
For a moment we remained still, things that couldn’t be changed left unsaid.
“I was tested today on my Sualwet,” I said.
“That must have been hard.” Tor’s sarcasm was a welcome distraction.
“The whole Linguistics department is underground. It’s completely claustrophobic.” I shuddered. “But it was hard to keep from laughing at their terrible pronunciation.”
Tor’s mouth quirked into a smile as we talked, but his eyes fell to the floor. “Tomorrow I go to the East Field, wherever that is, but I’ll be planting, so that’s better.”
“I’ll be in the Hub.”
“What’s that?”
“I don’t really know. It kind of sounds like a secret operation or something. They want my help with the war.” I shifted my weight as I spoke, aware of how close Tor was sitting to my leg. Elgon’s hot breath brushed against my shin.
“What are you going to do?” He lifted his eyes and finally met my gaze.
“As little as possible until we can figure out how to get out of here.”
“Getting out is easy. We can just walk out.”
“Lock doesn’t think so.”
“I’d like to see them stop me. It’s where to go afterward that I don’t know.”
“Me either.”
Silence grew between us as I considered our options. We had no homes to return to, but we couldn’t stay here. What options were there for the unwanted children of the gods?
A rough hand touched the top of my foot, pulling me from my thoughts. The contact startled me, but I didn’t move away. Warmth flowed from his skin to mine.
“How are your feet?” Tor asked, gentle concern hidden in his voice.
“They’re okay,” I breathed, relishing his touch.
He moved his thumb along the ridge of my foot until he reached my toes, tracing each one with slow fingers. The contact was terrifying and raised a feeling to the surface that was so unfamiliar, I was afraid but couldn’t turn away. The tenderness of his touch wrapped around me, pulling me closer to him.
“Show me,” he said.
“What?”
“Show me your feet.”
“They’re right there.”
“Sera....”
Slowly, I spread my toes. This time there was no judgment or confusion in his eyes. Instead his finger traced up my smallest toe and down to the tender flesh of the webbing. I watched his face as he took in my injury. The dim light from beyond the filtered window illuminated his features. His forehead wrinkled as he inspected the tear. When he seemed satisfied, his expression relaxed, and his hand moved along my foot until he reached my ankle.
Tor leaned forward and wrapped his palm around my calf. I watched, transfixed as his eyes moved along my bare leg. My skirt had ridden above my knees and hung down between my legs, offering a modicum of modesty, but my skin was laid out before him.
A warm palm moved up my calf, his hand so large it nearly wrapped around my entire leg. Every callus and cut pronounced his movement, but his touch was the gentlest thing I had ever felt on my skin. Taking in a steadying breath, I tried to relax. I wasn’t upset, I wasn’t angry, but his touch inspired a tension inside me unlike anything I’d ever known.
“Tor,” I whispered when his hand reached the outside of my knee.
Blue eyes darted up at me, asking for something I didn’t know how to give.
Reaching out, I placed my hand on his cheek and traced my thumb along one of his many scars. My pale skin glowed against his warmth.
“Show me your eyes,” Tor whispered, pulling himself onto his knees before me. He placed his hands on my covered thighs, and my body tingled with his nearness.
I kept my hand on his face and pulled myself closer, dropping my other hand on top of his. I wanted him to know his touch was welcome. It was more than welcome; I craved it. I never wanted him to stop.
His long hair fell down his back, and dark skin and scars stared at me. He embodied everything I was supposed to fear. Everything I was raised to avoid. But in a world without people, without a home, Tor was the only thing I needed. And in this moment I felt safe, complete.
As I lowered my defenses and allowed Tor to see the true me, he tightened his grip on my thighs. His thumbs massaged my legs, building the need within me. I wanted him to touch me more, I wanted him closer.
I moved forward, bringing my hand to his shoulder. His body vibrated beneath my fingers as he looked into me. His hands moved up farther and around my waist until he was holding me against him. The heat and closeness of his body took my breath away.
I brought my lips to his, closing my eyes at the last possible moment. The tender kiss from earlier that morning vanished. Now that he had permission and I realized the urge within me, we were both full of passion. After dropping my other hand to his shoulder, I pulled him close and wrapped my arms around his neck.
Tor kissed me again and again as I explored his back and arms with my hands. I wanted to memorize every part of him by touch. I pushed my right hand up his sleeve and gripped his bicep. His lips pressed against mine as I pulled him closer still.
“Sera,” he moaned before opening his mouth and licking my lips.
My breath caught and the world stopped. Nothing about this new kiss made sense, but I wanted more. I mirrored his movements, parting my lips and kissing him, openmouthed. The madness of discovery spurred me on, and I closed my lips around his, pulling his lower lip into my mouth.
Tor stilled. His hands stopped moving, and his body tensed.
“Tor?”
“I....” He pulled his face away from mine, lowered his head, and looked at the floor next to us.
“What did I—?”
“It’s nothing! I... I’m sorry, I just....”
“What?”
“I just... liked that... and I don’t want....” Color rose to his cheeks as he inspected the mattress frame or the wall behind my head—anything to avoid looking at me.
“I did, too.” I brought my hand back to his cheek and leaned in to kiss him again. A simple kiss. Intended only to show him how lovely
it could be.
The moment my lips grazed his flesh, the air around us sparked. Tor growled and tightened his arms around my waist, crushing me against him as his mouth moved with mine. What passed between us had nothing to do with Sualwet or Erdlander, fire or water. It was for us alone.
Tor’s mouth trailed down to my neck. He placed openmouthed kisses along flesh, and my hands moved without my permission. A new fire blazed within me. I wanted him to burn me, to save me, to claim me. I wanted nothing more than to be his.
~Orda sual fazla,~ I whispered.
“What?” he murmured against my lips.
I had spoken in Sualwet, not realizing what I was saying. The words had tumbled out on their own will. I hadn’t meant to tell him how I felt, how essential he’d become to me.
“Nothing. It was just Sualwet.”
“It’s beautiful. Say it again.”
He was so close, his breath moved across my cheek. His hands remained on my lower back as we spoke, and the nearness of him suddenly made me nervous. There was so much contact, so much touching. I loved it and feared it. I never wanted this to end, but I needed to move away.
“It was nothing,” I insisted, tensing.
Tor frowned and pulled away, his intense gaze trying to read me. “Why won’t you tell me?”
“I... I just.... Will you stop being so pushy?”
“I’m not being pushy,” he leaned back on his feet, furthering the expanse that had opened between us.
“You are! ‘Show me your feet. Show me your eyes. Show me your language.’ What else do you want to see?”
“I’m just trying to understand you.”
“Right, understand the freak. Spend some time studying the mutant. I get it.” I pulled my feet up under me, hiding my difference from him. My skirt covered my legs, and I pulled my hands into my sleeves as I tried to disappear.
“You are an infuriating creature,” Tor growled, earning a frown from me. He jumped from the bed and stared down at me, annoyance etched on his face. “I’m the only person you can trust. You’re the only one I can trust, and... and I want to know more about you. I don’t understand what’s wrong with that.”
“Nothing,” I muttered, hiding my eyes from his stare by looking down at my lap.
“Fine.”
He turned from me and retreated to his corner. I watched him carry all my hopes with him, and as much as this was about me, it was also about him. All I wanted was to be free, and every moment I spent away from my childhood prison, I became more and more lost—lost in the earth, out of touch with the air.
“You want to know more about me, but I know nothing about you,” I whispered, sharing my insecurities, unsure if I wanted him to hear.
He shrugged, his back facing me. “You know as much as I do.”
“That’s not true. I know it’s not.”
Turning back to me, his eyes were flat, his face emotionless, and the space between us opened farther, until a cavern divided the room.
“What do you want to know?” Tor’s voice tightened. The familiar look of someone steeling themselves against inevitable pain softened me toward him more than any kindness could have. He was just as afraid of being turned away as I was.
“Show me your scars.”
Tor blanched. The desire to run, to yell, to hide, flashed across his face, but the determined set of his jaw finally won.
He pulled his shirt off in one swift motion. Across his chest spread a map of his history. Scars rose from his skin, light against his dark flesh. When seen together, the marks on his arms paled in comparison, mere scratches against this evidence of injury.
“This one was there when they found me.” Tor pointed to a scar, which ran from one side of his neck, below his Adam’s apple, and across his opposite shoulder.
“How?”
“Whoever did it must have missed their mark, since I’m still alive.” He shrugged and lowered his hand to his side. “This was from a bear. It was right after I’d been forced out and didn’t know how to hunt yet.” He raised his arm and turned, showing me his side and the claw marks running along his rib line. His muscled body flowed with ease, the puckered skin of his scars masking his beauty.
“And this,” he motioned to his shoulder, “was from Elgon when I first found him.”
The mountain hound sleeping at my feet didn’t rouse at the sound of his name.
“What about this one?” I asked, standing and walking over to where he stood. I placed my left hand against his stomach. The skin was tough and covered in small pockmarks and bubble-like scars. Striated flesh crisscrossed the area.
“That—” He looked down, his posture wilting as he placed his hand over mine. “That’s where they burned me.”
“What?”
“They burned me.” He shrugged again, but his shoulders hung low, and his back slouched forward. Even as he showed me his past, he tried to hide.
“Why would anyone do that?” I tilted my head, willing him to meet my gaze.
Instead he shrugged again and pulled his hand from mine. Stepping away from me, he closed his eyes before speaking. “Children who set things on fire are punished. When you hurt something, you have to feel what you’ve done.” His voice cracked, and he shook his head. “Never mind.” He returned his gaze to me and attempted a smile before facing away and bending to retrieve his shirt.
That was when I saw the raised lines on his back. Thin scars spanned from shoulder to hip, one scar piled on top of the next.
I held my breath as I imagined someone whipping Tor. He was so strong, so gruff most of the time. It was hard to imagine anyone could hurt him like that and survive. He had only been a child, defenseless and alone.
I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around his waist. The warmth of his skin against my face was a welcome contrast to the cold hatred flowing through my veins.
“How could they hurt you?” I whispered into his flesh, holding him tight.
He stood still, unmoving and silent as I gripped him. This man, this amazing creature who had saved my life, who laughed at me and argued with me... this man who made me more furious and more delighted than I’d ever imagined, had been through so much. The idea of anyone hurting him returned my tears, and anger ran from my eyes to his flesh. He wrapped one arm around his middle, pulled me closer, and sighed.
“We’re a mess Sera.” His chuckle was soft against the harsh reality he’d shown me.
“Well, you’re a mess,” I teased, sniffling.
“And you’re as right as the moon rising behind the sun?”
Tor turned in my arms, pulling me against him. I laid my head against his chest and allowed myself to hold him close. I was never going to let anyone hurt him again. “I am now.” I sighed, breathing in the distinct scent of Tor’s skin.
He placed his lips against my hair and his body relaxed against me. “So, are you going to translate what you said? “
“Nope.”
He kissed me again, a lighter chuckle bubbled from his throat.
“Hey!” A voice came through the door as someone kicked the frame. “Are you two gonna eat?”
“It’s Traz.” I pulled away from Tor’s embrace, embarrassed by his state of undress now that I was aware of the others’ proximity.
“You know their voices now?” He grabbed his shirt from the floor and pulled it on as I sat and slid my feet into my boots.
“No. I can just tell. I can... see him.”
“Like you did in the forest?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“That’s really weird.” His grin was broad for the first time since we’d come to the camp.
“At least I don’t set things on fire,” I teased while walking toward the door.
“At least I don’t have to wear shoes,” he countered, bumping against me so he was the first to open the door.
“I really do hate these things.”
We laughed together, strangely happy as we walked out into the din of the pod and the begin
ning of the evening meal.
22
Watch it!” Kal veered away from us, carrying a steaming bowl. “Hot stuff coming through!”
I backed into Tor with the end of a laugh caught in my throat. Everyone was already at the table and passing bowls of food and a pitcher of brown liquid around so each could fill their plates.
“Sure is!” Nalla laughed as he leaned over her to place the bowl on the long table. Steam rising from the bowl created a mist on his dark skin, leaving him shining in the bright glow of the main room.
Jai and Nalla were sitting together, as usual, with Lock and Lace across from them. Elle sat on Sal’s lap, who was positioned at the head of the table, next to Kal. Their laughter surrounded me, reminding me I was not one of them. Tor stood just behind me, waiting for me to cross the border into hostile territory. The only two open seats were between Lace and Ash.
Music played on the tonifier, and the food was piled high.
When we approached, Lace’s tinny voice cut through the room. “So, the mountain man and his trusty sidekick decided to join us?”
Jai threw a corncob at her. “Shut up, Lace.”
Lace caught it and inspected it for remaining kernels, nibbling at them as she spoke. “No really. You guys should’ve seen Tor out in the field today. Big guy’s a maniac.”
“What?” Ash asked as I slid on the bench next to him.
“Well, let’s just say you can take the boy out of the wild, but you can’t take the wild out of the boy.” Lace’s laugh was throaty and loud. “Today was the final stripping before retiring the field for the year, and our boy Tor here got to play with fire on his first day out.”
Tor settled heavily in his chair at the end of the table, looking at his plate and avoiding the conversation around him. I sensed his anger and frustration pulsing, as if it were a living part of him.
“And what did you do, Lace?” I asked. “Other than get stuck in the mud.”
The mud on Lace’s face and shirt had dried, and it cracked along her cheek as she smiled in response. “I’d rather play in the mud than talk to the Fish.” She picked up her glass and drained the rest of the brown liquid before grabbing the pitcher and pouring herself some more.
Two Moons of Sera Page 13
