“I can’t. Not yet,” I admitted, my voice shaking.
Tor’s eyes flashed. “You aren’t one of them. You never will be,” he growled, menace close to the surface.
“I know.”
“Do you? You saw what they did to me. That’s what my parents, the people who were supposed to love me, did. What would Ada do if she found out about you? She doesn’t love you, doesn’t know you. You’d be strapped down and dissected within a heartbeat, and yet you want to stay here?”
“You already know what it’s like to have a family! You had parents! You had a brother, and all I ever had was my mother, who looked at me like I was the enemy half the time. Every time I came up for air, it was a betrayal.”
“At least she loved you. She’d never have hurt you.”
“You don’t think I’m hurt?” Tears grew close to the surface of my eyes, rising and pushing against the protective membrane, begging to be set free.
Instead I turned my back on him and began retracing my steps back to our pod.
“Sera?” Tor’s voice sounded pained.
I stopped, trapped between the promise of freedom and my need for answers.
A hand pressed against my back, a reminder of the embrace we’d shared earlier. “You aren’t burned.”
“What?” I pulled away, turning back to him. The sudden shift in conversation had my mind whirling. I had no idea what he was talking about. Above, a flash brightened the sky just before a crash of thunder assaulted the silence.
“Your back.” Tor stood stiff before me. His hands were frozen in front of him, somewhere between extending toward me and pulling away.
Reaching around, I felt my back. The tight shirt I wore had split open, revealing my skin. “When did that happen?” I pulled my shirt around, trying to look closer. The glow from buildings behind us illuminated the night enough for me to see the charred outlines of burn holes. “You burned me?”
“I....”
“You set my clothes on fire?” I screamed.
Tor was supposed to be the safe one. He meant the start of a new life, the beginning I wanted to believe in. Without him, what had I been doing? There was danger in being near him, yes, but I never thought he would purposely hurt me. The sudden threat of it broke through my bones, leaving me brittle and afraid.
“But you aren’t hurt. Sera, why aren’t you burned?” His hands sparked and flared, and the fire he worked so hard to control burst to life. The night ignited, glowing first blue and then orange.
“Touch it,” he commanded.
“Are you nuts?”
“You aren’t burned, Sera. Touch it.”
“No.”
I turned away again, but this time he reached out for me. His hand, surrounded by the yellow-orange glow of his fire, grabbed my arm.
“What the hell are you doing?” I pulled away, the smell of melting plastic and fire emanating from my arm, but there was no pain. Wisps of smoke drifted up from where he had gripped me. My shirt had burned away, but my skin was as pale and pristine as before. The only difference I felt was the dryness of my skin.
Wind picked up around us, gusting through the paths between the buildings and whipping out to where we stood. Tor stared at me, and Elgon whined as I studied my bare arm.
“You could have burned me.”
“But I didn’t.”
“You could have! Don’t you get that? You... you were willing to risk hurting me.”
“Sera—” Tor stopped. Whatever words he wanted to say were incapable of explaining what I needed to hear. Instead, the fire behind his eyes flared again, until not a trace of blue remained. His arms reached out for me, strong and irresistible.
I struggled against him and pulled away, trying to hold on to my anger. He tugged me to him, crushing me against his chest, breathing into me.
Above, the sky opened. Rain broke free from its prison and fell.
Tor’s arms tightened around me, and water drenched my hair. I breathed him in as the rain sated my thirst. Flashes of light streaked across the sky, and the thunder crashed closer until it echoed in my ears, drowning everything else away. Noise and fire and water and life sped across my skin.
The gray filthiness of the camp washed away until it was just us, two impossible creatures, drawn together through the maze of chaos. What were the chances Tor, the only other being out there as alone and unwanted as I was, would be the one to find me? I looked up to his face. His features were so hard, drawn, and tight from a life lived alone. His fiery eyes reflected the lightning—or perhaps they created their own.
“Okay, Tor. You and me. We’ll leave, soon, I promise. Just give me a few more days, and we’ll find a way.”
“Thank you,” he whispered before lowering his lips to mine. His kiss was warm and slow. He pulled away slightly, forcing me to reach for him to keep the moment from ending.
Elgon howled as the deluge pounded against the streets and buildings.
Tor held me against his chest, and I melted against his hardness. Dizzy and overwhelmed, I slid my fingers into his hair. His tongue lit a fire of sensation and desire against my lips. I opened my mouth, reaching out for him and pulling him deeper. The taste of him was so delicious I became lightheaded.
His hands gripped me, one wrapping all the way around my waist. The rain slicked down my hair and soaked into my parched skin.
Our kiss deepened, becoming urgent, desperate. My heart swelled from the feeling. He pulled me up into his arms, hurting me with his embrace, but I needed it. I needed to feel his strength. I pushed away my fear of discovery and my need for a home and made room for him in my heart. Standing on my toes, I leaned into him, releasing myself into his care.
As we kissed, thunder crashed overhead, reverberating in the air. The world faded away as Tor’s hands roamed across my back. The outline of his touch tingled at each place our skin met. Was the fire inside him burning me? Or maybe it was something within me, finally sparking to life.
Our passion slowed, and I couldn’t stop the nervous laugh bubbling up inside me.
“What?” he asked, his lips still against mine.
“You know, before the other day, I’d never even seen a man, let alone kiss one.”
Tor smiled in the darkness and kissed my lips again lightly.
24
I’d never experienced what it meant to fall. Always, I’d spent my life wanting, seeking, and I’d never known the freedom that came when you just let go. Others fell from great heights, but I always landed on my feet. Erdlanders drifted below the surface, drowning from the embrace of the sea, but I always sank to the bottom, only to emerge again more alone than I’d been before I’d started.
I wanted to go home, but walking with Tor, the rain falling in sheets around us, I let go of my childhood and fell.
The dirty lights of the camp began flickering out as night deepened. High above, the stars emerged, reasserting their eternal presence. The truest things in life could never be blotted out by artifice. I knew the truth of that as I slipped my hand into Tor’s.
In front of our building, we stopped walking, and a heavy weariness overcame me. Even Elgon stopped chasing the stars’ reflection in the windows and lowered his head. The rain slicked my hair back and left ripples where there had only been footsteps.
Tor opened the door, ushering his dripping entourage inside.
When the transport chamber opened into Pod Thirty-Four, the lights were out and the living area was silent. Energy I couldn’t quite place permeated the room.
“They must all be in bed,” Tor offered, stepping farther into the living space and dropping my hand.
Elgon whimpered. His fur matted down on his head as he sat and pressed his wet body against my leg.
“Where did you get this?” a familiar voice whispered from the darkness.
Stretching my senses beyond my eyes, I realized it was Traz, sitting in the same chair at the table where we had left him. He was holding my melodisk. His breathing sounded exhaust
ed, like he’d been awake for days.
“I found it,” I told him.
Stepping farther into the room, Tor approached Traz. I knew Tor would hurt him if it came down to it.
Traz lifted his pale eyes to me. Reflecting against the dim light, they shimmered silver. “I’ve heard whatever this is before.” His voice was soft, but his words slammed against me and took my breath away.
“What do you mean you’ve heard it before?” Tor demanded, stepping farther into the room. “Where? What is it?”
“Tor”—I followed and placed my hand on his arm—”let him answer.”
The muscles in Tor’s arm flexed as he held himself back. His instincts were those of the wild, of survival. He wanted to be in control, to fight and force the world to his will. Even though I had never lived in this world, my old life hadn’t been wild, just lonesome.
Traz stood, barely taller than me, and glared at Tor’s imposing figure. The darkness in the room sparked, and I gripped Tor tighter.
“Traz.” I pulled the two men’s attention back to me. “What do you know?”
“First tell me where you found it.” He stared at me, the tightness on his face something I’d never seen before. He was usually so easy, so comfortable. Even when the others teased him, he never got upset. Something about him in this moment though was so... cold.
“I found it. I told you that.”
“Where?” he pressed.
“Near the water, past the woods.”
“The beach?”
“It washed to the shore with some other things. I don’t know why I took it. I just did.”
Traz considered my words, and I could see him calculating my lies in his mind. But he didn’t ask anything else. Instead he sighed and slumped back down into the chair.
“What happened to everyone here? Where did you two go?” Traz’s voice was softer and he sounded even more tired than before.
“Damn it, tell us what you know.” If a whisper could be a roar, Tor’s voice was just that.
“Sit down,” I commanded.
Tor crooked an eyebrow at me, but Elgon sat.
“Good boy.” I smiled in triumph at Tor and pet Elgon’s head before sitting on the floor, pulling my legs under me. “You, too.” I looked up at Tor and received a snort in response before he settled on the floor next to me.
“You can sit on the furniture, you know,” Traz said.
“Oh, um, we’re just used to the ground now, I guess.”
Traz shrugged before sliding off his seat and joining us on the floor. Sitting in a low circle felt safer and more secret. I watched Traz organize his thoughts.
“About a year ago,” he began, “one of the expedition teams went to the mountains.”
“But that’s off limits,” I interrupted, earning a low growl from Tor.
“Yeah, well, they didn’t go far before there was an earthquake and one of the hot springs erupted into a geyser. One of the guys was burned so bad he’s got scars all over his face and back now. It was really bad.”
“Oh my gods,” I gasped, thinking about Tor’s scars. I took his hand in mine and squeezed. It never occurred to me to not just reach out and touch him. The barrier between us had vanished.
He squeezed back gently but kept his intensity focused on Traz.
“So half the group came back here to get help, and the other half explored some cavern they found after the quake. They went pretty far in and kept going after they got lost. Way longer then they should have. They had to crawl through some tight spaces. In their report, they’d said they heard music drawing them in. But that’s crazy, right? No one would risk their life over some music.”
Traz paused and locked his eyes on mine before continuing. “One of them had a tonifier mic, though, and recorded the sound.”
Elgon moaned as he stretched out on the ground, forcing his body between Tor and me to claim his place in our lives.
“They got lost in the caverns for a few days before finally making their way back out empty handed. When Linguistics played the team’s disk, nothing happened. The recording was just silent. But that wasn’t really true. They just didn’t know what was happening. So Linguistics pulled me in from Culture, probably because I’d been studying Sualwet music and they thought I’d be able to hear something they couldn’t.”
“You studied Sualwet music?”
“Sera!” Tor growled, not wanting us to get sidetracked.
“Sorry. Go on, Traz.”
“Well, when they played the disk it wasn’t that nothing happened. It was that same music. It was amazing. There aren’t words for it. I didn’t understand how they couldn’t hear it, but when I looked around, everyone was standing stiff, completely mesmerized.”
“Like tonight,” I added.
“Exactly! I fell into it, too, but not as deeply. I don’t know why, but I could hear it and listen along and feel its pull, but I didn’t lose time like they did. When I tried to tell them about it, they dismissed it and said I was making it up.”
“But you weren’t.”
“No. I was aware of everything. Like tonight, when you weren’t affected.” Traz looked at me for a moment before turning to Tor. “And you... I don’t know, almost attacked? Was it the music or us you were going after?” He paused, examining Tor before taking a steadying breath. “And then there was some kind of light and you....” Traz turned back to me. “You screamed at him like you were afraid....”
“So the music is from the mountains,” Tor summarized, ignoring Traz’s questions.
“Yes.”
Tor turned to me. “Then we have to go up there,” he said, excitement in his voice bubbling up like the geyser that had burned the hikers. He gripped my hand tighter. “See, I told you it’s the mountains.” A smile broke over his face as if he’d discovered the secrets of the gods.
“You can’t go up there,” Traz said. “No one has been up there since then. It’s too dangerous.”
“Traz, why do you think you can hear the music?”
He shrugged and looked down, avoiding my eyes.
“Traz?”
“Why can you hear it, Sera?”
The air shifted as I considered telling him everything. For a moment, I yearned to believe I could trust him, and that maybe he would help us. I wanted to believe it so badly that I had almost convinced myself it would be okay—then Tor spoke.
“Sera’s special” was all he said. The simplicity of it so sweet and sincere.
“And you?” Traz asked Tor.
“You really don’t want to know,” Tor responded with finality. He moved to stand, but Traz reached out and put his hand over ours. His touch was cool and dry. In fact, the first time he had touched me, I had been struck by how familiar his skin felt.
“You’re Sualwet,” I said in a rush, the air leaving my lungs.
The world spun.
“What? No,” Traz protested. But I could see a flash of recognition and a silver glimmer in his gray eyes.
“Yes. Yes you are.” I pulled my hand away and leaned toward him. Inspecting his eyes, I spotted the thin layer of extra membrane that protected his eyes from the dryness of land. It was thinner than mine, smooth and easy to miss, but it was definitely there.
“How do you stand it?” I asked. “How can you breathe up here all the time? Where do you swim?” I spat out one question after the next, giving away more about myself then I meant to. “Let me see your feet!”
I reached out and pulled on his foot, trying to take the boot off myself.
“Sera, stop it!” Traz protested, pulling away from me, but I wouldn’t let go.
I had to see. How could there be another like me? How had he lived with them for so long?
“No, Traz, let me see. It’s okay, I promise.” I tried to speak in soothing tones but my excitement made it come across as more manic than calming.
“There’s nothing to see.” He wrenched away from me and removed his boot. After pulling off his sock, he revealed five
perfectly shaped and separated toes. “What the hell was that about?”
As I stared at his feet, a disappointment I hadn’t expected washed over me, and tears began to build. I couldn’t cry. I couldn’t release my tears without opening my membrane, and so they accumulated, threatening to force the dam to break.
“But you are!” I insisted, needing it to be true. If he was Sualwet, even a little, then I wasn’t the only one. I wasn’t the freak who should have never been born. I needed him to be like me so I could justify my existence in the world. Without him, I was banished back to the dark expanse of my solitude.
“Sera....” Tor reached out and pulled me to him, holding me above that black surface, saving me again. With my face buried in his chest, I peeled away the protective membrane and allowed my tears to fall. Elgon moved enough to allow me close to Tor but laid his head in my lap, reminding me I wasn’t alone, no matter how much I felt like it.
“What’s going on?” Traz murmured.
Instead of answering, Tor asked, “Do you know your parents?”
“What? Of course!”
“What about your grandparents?”
“What the hell are you talking about? What’s that got to do with anything?”
“Do you?” Tor insisted.
He had an arm wrapped around me, steadying me as I sniffed, pulling myself up and away from him. The shock of discovery had immobilized me, drawing out tears at a time when I wanted none. I calmed my heart and hid the telltale membrane before turning back to Traz.
“Who are you?” he finally asked the question I’d been dreading.
“I’ll tell you. After we figure out who you are.” My voice was steadier than I’d expected.
“Fine. I grew up in the City with my parents. My father’s people were from there, but my mother’s people came from across the bay.”
“Did you ever meet them?” Tor pressed.
“No, that’s too far to travel unless you are a councilor or wealthy.”
“How did your mother get here, then?”
“My parents were Matched at the camp, then they stayed here.”
Tor continued his interrogation. “Do you have any brothers or sisters?”
Two Moons of Sera Page 15
